Dub

Howdy, Julie. Dinner out......not that much fun for me.....unless there is bar area seating nearby and I've got the green light to partake and roll with it. It's not that I get overly loud or anything.....at least not too overly. I just would rather be at GITMO being waterboarded than to sit at the table while folks stuff themselves up to their esophagi. Gimme a good looking bartender wench to flirt with and an interesting drink menu and I'm happy. This works on date nights.....but seldom anyplace else. For true family meals out......I simply sit and endure it.....usually order coffee and a salad (as my meal) and sip and enjoy....then eat the toppings off the salad and call it good. Dining out.......arrrrrrrghhhhhhhhh........torture............drinking/dining out.....all good. Life is too short. Wasting it sitting at a feed trough is not how I want to spend it......but I endure when I must.

Nope......not from me. Do your thang, Brofessor........do your thang !!!!!!! The goal is and always will be to lose weight and keep it off. Do so by any vehicle available. Much respect and best wishes for you !!!!!!!

There are only a few things that most of us have total control of.....total decision making ability. One of those is what goes into our mouths. It is a simple truth. Simple doesn't always translate to easy, though. Examine the why's behind your weight gain. Why are your behaviors not in line with your desires to lose weight? Why haven't you exerted control ? What will it take to reach the point where you are in control ? The surgery is not the prime mover. It is simply an aid.....a tool. It can be defeated if you allow it. Once you truly gather your resolve to lose the weight you will employ whatever tools that are available for you now.....pre-op...and the weight will begin to fall off. The surgery + your resolve will amplify the results.

If dry beans.......then soak overnight and change the water and boil....then simmer.....add salt, pepper and any other seasonings you care to add........love country ham mixed in with mine.

As crazy as this sounds.......if I'd used my insurance then my out of pocket cost would have been $27,000+ By doing 100% self pay it cost me only $19,000. How crazy is that. Very grateful my surgeon and his group reduce their rates in that way for self-funded patients.

Let the doctors be doctors and the patients be patient. It's a piece of cake.

Don't sweat it. Relax. Eat a bite of what interests you and move along through the meal. its not a big deal unless you make it one. It's all good.

Same thing here. It's really not bad. Good choices in Vitamins help to curb my cravings for fruits & vegetables. The road ahead of you seems to be bland and flavorless.....or at least it did to me when I was 2 weeks out. I stayed on Protein shakes for 4 weeks and was thinking that this new way of eating was going to suck forever. After my 4 week appointment the surgeon challenged me to go ahead and try new foods.....but he was adamant that I should always stick to the meats, seafood and chicken. He's huge on steak. The things he coached me on are 180 degrees from anything any doctor had ever done prior. Vitamin supplementation is the key. I'm staying within my 1/2 cup sized meals of protein and getting in my Water......and coffee is a godsend to knock back any cravings. The game changed for the better on that 4th week. Transitioning off the shakes to the meats, seafood and chicken was excellent. Everything started to fall into place right then and ever since. Please understand that this is a temporary thing.........you will not take near as long as you think to burn off the 75% you are shooting for. Stay strict and exercise. You will be there in short order. I'm looking forward to the months ahead.....hopefully by year's end.....when I can add some food types back into my diet. I'll be a 1 cup meal size by then.....still not an entire Lean Cuisine meal....but the variety will be super. Hang in there and know that you can do anything for several months. It becomes easier, too, as you see and feel the weight falling off. I assure you.

Just getting started back with weight training. It's a bit dicey since I have a torn rotator cuff in my right shoulder and a failed abdominal hernia repair. Anyway.....excuses notwithstanding......here is a pic taken today: This pic taken one day before my sleeve surgery in October 2015: Getting there.....in spite of not being able to really blow it out like I want to.

Back in October 2015....the day prior to my surgery.....disgusted with the state I'd fallen to: Taken today:

Thank you very much. Truth be told, though.....it really hasn't felt much like work........yet. I know that point is coming, though. Trying to get my resolve all bolstered up and ready for the tough times. Happy dancing is much appreciated. 20" ????? Really???? I'm nodding my head in respect and shaking your hand. That is awesome !!!!! I just filled 5 lawn & garden trash bags full of clothes that I donated last week. Have another started and about 1/3 full. I'm so ready to downsize in every way, shape and form.

I had an abdominal hernia repaired at the same time of my sleeve surgery. It was a complete and total non-event (sleeve portion). Even the hernia wasn't near as bad as the two prior hernia repairs I've had. I was back at work 3 weeks later.....worked 6-8 hour days. Week 4 found me working 13+ hour days. Sleeve surgery will be a walk in the park for you.

Where I work......the HR folks would have informed my boss anyway. I didn't sweat the notification, though. I'm was under no illusion that the amount of weight I was planning on losing cold be explained away by saying, "I'm on a strict diet". I also couldn't care less what folks on my job think. I'm doing this for my health. FWIW.....I have yet to have a single person come up to me and not be fully supportive of my choice. They can see the obvious pain relief and overall improved health. I can't imagine a boss who wouldn't be enthused about an employee having this surgery. The employee will most assuredly become more productive and have improved attendance rates.

Did someone say sausage ? I bring bulk sausage when I make sauce. It's how I roll........

I wouldn't presume to understand all the dynamics at play in your marriage but can only say that I am sorry. There is no excuse for an abusive spouse. Heavy, thin or anything in between.....simply doesn't make it okay for that type of behavior. I've yet to see a perfect marriage....anywhere. I've known of some great ones, however, even they have challenges to work through. I'll wager the strongest marriages occur when both parties see, understand and value facing those challenges together in a mutually supportive way. When it comes down to it, though, I can only speak from my own personal experiences. You mention a low self esteem. I can relate to that very well, as can many here. I've been there and been there for a long time. It does shape the way you view yourself and it certainly alters your acceptance of behaviors in your spouse. If being overweight is one of the major factors in your lowered self esteem then you can certainly expect there to be some changes to occur in your level of acceptance and overall reaction to your spouse. You could, as I have, hide these feels for the most part.....mull them over....kick it around in your head and chose not to reveal them. At some point it will surface and you'll be faced with dealing with it. You will have to reconcile how the new you feels and what your ultimate wants and needs are. For me it is fairly simple. I want a wife who is passionate and loving. A woman who is self assured and proud of her accomplishments and embraces life's challenges head on. A sense of humor but yet the ability to seriously plan and organize resources as needed. I can say that there will be a number of changes that emerge along the path as your body makes it's changes. I didn't have the foresight to anticipate many of these changes. I jumped into the wls ring in order to fight the physical pains that were due to being too heavy. Much of this has improved as the fat has diminished. I wasn't expecting the self worth and sense of pride to soar like they did. I simply had never acknowledged they were low in the first place. I was just living my life with blinders on.....going through the daily routine in sort of a black & white movie sorta way. It's all changed now. Life is now like HD TV programming. Bright, vivid, bold, enticing. Everything is different, but mostly in a good way. I badly want to grasp the things that were slipping away. I want to experience life on better terms. I no longer limp around and endure the days......I stride with purpose and enthusiasm towards whatever is next. I was the guy in the initial wls seminars who shook his head in disbelief when the lecturer made statements on the alarming statistic of divorce among wls patients. They even did a mock division of the people in attendance....portioning off most in a visual way and proclaiming them the divorced people. I shook my head in disbelief and kick the silly notion to the side and went on to focus on the other information present on the types of surgeries available and the life changes inherent with each. I now no longer shake my head in disbelief. I better understand those statistics yet I fight becoming part of it. My best advice is to give yourself a period of time to heal, recover, lose, change and discover your new self along the way. Don't try to make any big life decisions for a period of time......be them relationship, job, moving, big purchases, etc. Take inventory of your needs and wants and see where you are. It is a process. Only you will no if this is 6 months, a year, two years..... Only you know what defines abuse or what defines simply not being fulfilled in your marriage. Abuse is a different story, though. That must be addressed immediately in many cases.

6 weeks or so, Splenda and Fairlife milk. Been going at it ever since. Good stuff.

Damn right ! Well said. Welcome back. Carpe diem !!!!!!!

Very normal to be having these thoughts. For most of my adult life I've not only been a big eater.....but a food prep fan. I absolutely love grilling, smoking and cooking outdoors and some inside, too. Love watching Guy Fieri's show and others. Thoroughly enjoy cooking for family and friends.....and coworkers. Had the surgery and wondered how I'd deal with my grilling hobby. For the first 8 weeks or so I avoided it. Soon after, though......I cooked some ribs and pulled pork for my family.....then some steaks......then some chicken.......over the weekends ahead. I find that I actually enjoy cooking for them now more than ever.......seriously. I even was talking to a good friend about my menu items for this coming week......going to make them some homemade mashed potatoes and all the killer ingredients I'll put in them. I make all this stuff and have zero desire to eat the carb-loaded stuff anymore. Just the Proteins. I'm perfectly content with that. As far as the plastics later on.........when the time comes I will address that and move on past it. No worries......just keep on progressing with my life.

Lived in Greenville for several years before moving further South. Miss the place for certain.

My biggest fear is a moving target. Prior to surgery.....my fear was that I had become a broken down old man.....defined by his pain and forever discovering new limitations and having to live within them. Leading up to the final days before the surgery my fear was that I would not be successful. Now.....4+ months later I have other concerns. I know for a fact that I'll reach my goal weight but fear what I'll look like when I do......how much excess skin? How much muscle can I pack on during this process with my bum shoulder and failed hernia repair? Where will the funds come from for the plastics that will be most likely? Will the plastics go smoothly and yield a good result ? My other fears are what will I become by then? Being reasonably pain free and feeling better has flooded me with relief. I don't get stressed about stuff anymore.....even stuff that maybe I should be stressed about. I simply can't be bothered with it. I want to be surrounded by positive people and laugh. I have fears that I'll make a blunder and seek their company and it will lead to a failed marriage that will impact my son at a crucial time in his development. I fear that the alternative may be to suck it up....stay in it for him.....and then resentment will grow and I become the grumpy bastard I was six months ago. I fear leading with my heart and not my head.......yet my head is warped by the old self image and low confidence......the heart never lies......yet it acts on impulse. I fear complacency. Now is a time with a heap of self improvement taking place and I never want to stop this. So many areas where I can improve.....I never want to let off the pedal on this. Mostly, I fear not living each day to it's full potential.

Right on !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

There was a period of 3-4 months last year where I couldn't put on my own socks and shoes. I had herniated a disc trying to lift stuff I had no business lifting....and used poor technique and was grossly out of shape.....pre-op. That injury and the pain that came from it was the final straw for me getting serious about weight loss and scheduling my sleeve surgery. Post-op healing....back to work.....still needed help to finished getting dressed for work every day. That bending while putting on my shoes was a trigger for the stabbing back pain. Surgery was in October 2015. This socks and shoe assistance bidness continued into December.....until I was finally able to sit on the edge of the bed and do it all by myself....like a big boy. Always seated on the bed, though. Only way I could. Well.....worked a 14 hour shift last night....stopped at the tanning salon on my way home (I know, right? Sasquatch looking dude in a tanning salon....WTH?).......stripped down and tanned......dressed......simply put my socks and shoes on while standing up. Walked out of there grinning......and squinting like hell......seems I'd wiped some lotion in my eyes at some point. As far as my reasons for tanning.......I've got a cruise coming up in several weeks and I don't want to get fried then.

I hope i can inspire someone the way you have me... You certainly have.

Excellent. Feels really good doesn't it !!!!!