Apples2

Cheri....wish you could see my frustrations with trying to change even my font size. For some reason, I can only use 1 or 2 and I have tried going back and highlighting also....so I give up. There are others on other threads that have the same thing happen. On the subject of intimacy.....and thanks for being concerned about our sexuality...LOL. Everything is fine at this house. Was just fine when I was fat...nothing changed. I chalk it up to feeling it is a very important part of a relationship and also give DH a lot of credit for ALWAYS and EVERYDAY telling me how much he loved me and how beautiful I was. He never allowed me to make negative comments or to look down on myself because of my weight. He wouldn't hear of it. He just wanted me to be healthier. And, your statement about how most men don't care is so true. If they truly love us, they just plain love us. Fat or thin. I was also one to never let myself go even when heavy. Was a chore doing those toenails and shaving the legs sometimes but they got done and I got up every morning and dressed nicely. Even if I was just working on the farm. It has always made me feel frumpy to dress frumpy.

Darn...hit post b/4 I was done. At least I didn't lose my post. Laura...hope you can make the Chicago trip. I have been missing your posts. Just happy you had a wonderful Christmas and so cool your dad was feeling independent enough to fly to FL. That makes my heart happy. Well, our storm has subsided but the plows have not been by yet. DH was anxious to find out if our elevator got the train in yet so that we can get after the corn hauling so he took off for town with the plow in front of the truck. If we can get this wrapped up in the next few days, we might be able to leave a day or two early. I have spent most of the day packing and it's going pretty good. Don't want to be at the point I was last year trying to decide if I had enough room and having to decide between taking the DH or the dog. I should have internet access each night in hotels. DH thought it would take four days of travel to get to our destination. That seems like a lot of time in the vehicle. He's figuring 500 miles a day. I don't think any of you live along our route. Would be fun if there was and could throw a lunch in there with one of my fellow bandsters. We have another wake/funeral this week sometime. Still pending. One of DH's classmates and our neighbor passed away. Not sure of the circumstances yet. He was 56. Just a blurb on the radio. Young. OK...gotta force myself to complete the packing. Not much left.

Hope everyone is having a great Sunday and ready to get back to a little normalcy tomorrow. Holidays bring so much joy but also stress. Upsets in our daily routine and even boredom and missing our norm. Just enjoy your last day of lazing around. Arlene...funny how those motivational speeches/sermons can hit home with 90% or or more of the listening group/congregation. You feel like they are speaking directly to YOU. I got in on one a couple of weeks ago in church. The gist of it was to relax and let the things go that we have no control of. As we all know, stress causes anxiety and with that comes a lot of worry. Well it hit home and have been working on not worrying about the unknown. It has helped for me to take that bit of info and work on me. I want to get back to the old me where I more or less took things as they came my way. Some things that happens changes a person and working on "recovering" from the negative things that have happened is the best thing we can do for ourselves. To just look at things as "It is what is is". Great....no worries. Sometimes posts just don't come across the way they would if you were talking to a person. If you could have "heard" my post in my voice, it was said tenderly and with a lot of love. I don't live your life...I have no reason to be "preachy" with you. Just care an awful lot about each of you guys here and sometimes I read your frustration. A person needs peace in their life and beating ourselves up over getting off track just isn't the answer. Getting back on track is the answer. Not easily done sometimes though. This time of year is the perfect time for a new start. If you go back and read some of the posts over the last month, there is A LOT of food anxiety and worrying about what the holidays will bring when it comes to foods we are exposed to during the holidays. Whew....it's all behind for another year and now onto new goals. You here that are struggling and getting back on track....make it your goal to have some success to share by the time we get together in Chicago. There's not going to be anyone more proud of your accomplishments than all of us here.

Ok...so a hit post, then wanted to delete my post cuz I was worried about you taking it hard and crying yourself to sleep. Janet's statement has always hit home with me. Just cuz the weight comes off does not mean that everything is "fixed". We'll all be here cheering you on with your new start. Love you lots and sleep peaceful in knowing that you have a lot of friends here and that we cannot wait to see you posting your accomplishments.

What a nice compliment your friend made, Great. Also a nice compliment that she wanted you to be available for support for her daughter. I had something similar happen about a year ago while in FL. Have a really good friend that asked me if I would visit with a friend of hers that had a daughter that had had LB surgery a year prior. For sure I would. Anyway, I felt she was doing great at where she was in her progress but she needed support. Got a nice email a couple of weeks ago from my friend that said she attributed her success now to my support. I made me feel so great that the little things I said to her in the many emails we had, made her turn things around. Makes the heart feel all warm and fuzzy. And, Great, you ARE a classy lady. You ARE put together. We can be dressed to the nines and if we allow the negative feelings to take over, we can feel as frumpy as if we were wearing sweat pants and an old shirt. I am not talking about letting vanity take over...I am talking about giving yourself the credit you deserve. I know it has been wearing on you that you gained a little back. Don't let a little gain take over and ruin the goals you have set for yourself. Tomorrow is a new day. You have some new "tools" to use to get you back on a regular exercise program. Don't pass up the opportunity and a new start to getting back to where you want to be. We love you and want (sorry...talking for all again) these feelings of inadequacy to be put behind you. Question???? Are these feelings due to the bit of weight gain you have had? If so, let us help you get back to where you were just a few short months ago. You have stated in the past that you thought maybe you were too controlled. Well, gotta be blunt here....get that control back again. I have my own opinion...I think maintenance really scared you. I think maybe you were bewildered about how you would handle maintenance. I could be totally out in left field about this but I bet you just need to get over the shame of the few lbs you have gained and once you stop putting off for tomorrow what you can do today, you will be right back to where you want to be. This is not a race...but...you gotta start the journey again....put all of it behind you and get back to where there are no more "I will start on Monday". (just an example). Maybe not what you wanted to hear but for the last few months I have missed you and you talking about your food and exercise plan and all the good advice you give the newbies and everyone else. You've been holding back....I don't know if it's because you feel you cannot adequately give advice or not. I warned you it would be blunt. But, it's all said with love.

Eva....you know what? DH and I will probably be running around in shorts when we get down there. We would take the kids to FL in mid-Dec and we could always tell who the locals were. Layers of sweaters and jackets while we were in tanks and shorts. We live rough and tough up here in "No Man's Land"....we can take it. LOL

Phyll...good to see your post...safe travels as you go south for the rest of your winter months. Watch the crossroads! Also....wishing for you to have a "mood free" trip. DS's GF gave him great advice for when his dad gets in one of his snits when they are working together. She said "Just go up and give him a big ole' hug and tell him you love him". It does set things into a different mood. I don't think that would work for me though. I get soooooo pissed when DH is moody that hugging or loving are the last thing on my mind. LauraK....my DH was pretty sweet this morning when I told him I was going to start packing clothes. He asked if it would make me feel better to take the enclosed trailer. He meant it. This isn't about him not letting me take what I want so much as it is me trying to do as I want to do. I want to travel lighter than I have the last few years of going south. Happy to hear your evening was a good one and that you felt the skin was not an issue. Cute text from you son. Tables are turned????? Janet....cute QVC coincidence. Makes a person want to buy them just for the sake of having the bottles. No way do I need the product. I got loaded up with some really nice body/bath products as gifts for Christmas. Linda....it does feel good to look at the house all spiffed up after taking decorations down. Almost bare after everything I put up but a good feeling. Good idea to check out the shoulders with your doc. You don't want to have future problems with them from the type of workouts you are doing. Tina....I sure hope you did not take offense with me commenting on the "junking up the thread". That was something that was thrown my way over a year ago, I think. I work from home but I am also gone to my lake place most of the summer....I'm home maybe 2-3 days at the most per week. Well, I don't have internet access at the lake and when I am at home during those days I would try to say EVERYTHING I had missed saying and, thus, the "junking up of the thread". In other words....these girls started giving me crap (love it) about all the green ink. You go ahead and unload if you feel the need. If you feel that you are able to talk and this thread is a soft place to land, then don't worry about how long your posts are or what you have to unload. You will find that not everyone responds to everything posted by another person and that's OK. There are some things that we all jump on and comment on. As you have probably noticed, we don't just discuss LB issues. It sounds like you are living in a bit of turmoil with your spouse. I would say that it would be to your advantage to try to work through some of the tough issues in your life prior to going through the lapband process. Even if it is just a few visits to a therapist that can give you the tools that you can use when issues arise. Prior to and after LB surgery it takes a lot of focus to change the things you want and need to change in your life. It is so nice to have those we love be supportive....even if there is some doubt on their part. It's a big step. Hugs

LOL, Janet....on the f___ing bander that had her say. Little did she know, I am sooooooooo immune to any comments any more. Used to freaking irritate me to no end. Now I am just amazed by what ppl think they have the right to say. My favorite response to those types is..."Where were you when I weighed 249lbs?" Or one I used a couple of months ago "Gee, my doctor doesn't have a problem with my weight, why do you?" Snarky but well-deserving for the type. I usually broil lobster but sometimes I steam it (not boil). I like broiled or grilled better. I poached our salmon and used dill weed and bay leaves and few other herbs. Now, if I were wondering if I thought I needed a fill I would have my answer. I was able to eat 2- 4oz fillets plus 1/2 baked potato. We had smoked muenster and pepper jack turkey on Wheat Thin tomato basil crackers at midnight. Don't like that feeling of going to bed with something heavy like that laying in my pouch. Have a fun couple of days off. I am looking forward to the warmer weather and actually having the option of getting out when I want to. Whine

Great...we used to do a lot of projects like your DH is doing with the bed stands. Our first home was furnished with furniture that I either reupholstered or refinished. I loved that furniture. Love the idea of the marble tops. My airline points are connected with Delta so Ohare is my choice as well. If we need to rent a car at the airport, I will go half. And....I somehow knew that the FIRST thing you would check out in the area would be a Loft!

Welcome...just keep this thought "This too shall pass". It does get easier and hope that the gas will subside and that your bowels begin to ease. It's tough at first with not knowing what to expect. Just follow your doc's rules, get up and move and rest when you can. Just wanted to wish you luck as you begin the road to a healthier you. And questions or concerns that we can help you with? Just fire away! Linda....you are such a good GM and Katie is so lucky to be able to rely on you guys. You are also setting a good/loving base for Alyah....one that will affect her thoughout her life. She's a lucky girl....not every child has their grandparents in their lives. I also love split pea Soup and make it quite often. I have a pot of chicken soup on the stove as we speak. I made my own egg noodles and they turned out really nice. We will have it for supper tonight and the rest will go in the freezer in portion sizes for DS. He will need some lunches while he is working out here while we are gone. Yesterday I made beef stew and another beef dish to freeze. He should have a variety anyway. Good going on the gym...you never seem to make excuses not to go but you allow yourself some days off which is good. Isn't it amazing when you think of doing 65 minutes of cardio? Could you have done 65 seconds 2 yrs ago?????

Can't let Cheri be all alone in junking up the thread..... I don't think I added my 2 cents on hotel, etc. for the Chicago trip. I like the idea of finding a place close to where Cheri lives and do the train, etc. to see the sights. Even if there is inclimate weather, I am sure there are museums, etc. that we could go see. DH is so cool. Told him I had no idea when it would be and just "Go...doesn't matter". I guess my worrying about planting and harvest comes from years of HAVING to be here. DS has kind of taken over my role. Fine with me. So, when you guys decide on a long weekend, I'm in. DH did suggest I fly rather than drive. It's 4 hours to our airport but less stress for him worrying about a 12 or more hour drive for me each way. Made sense to me also when he suggested it. That's a lot of hours of driving for a short trip. And, I love to fly....will just get a taxi or whatever to the hotel. Suites would be ideal so when I have a little time, I will look in the area that Cheri suggested. And, to ease Cheri's anxiety about sitting around in a group visiting, we will all just take turns taking her out for a walk. LOL.

Hey Blaze...thanks for the info. I also am looking forward to seeing what the station has to offer. Surprises me that they replaced Discovery Health.

Great...I am so in awe of mountains and would give anything to be able to look at them on a daily basis. We are at 4 degrees right now at 1pm and expecting 10 below with windchills of -35 for night. Hard to believe you are as cold as us right now. Our local radio station is putting out warnings every 10 minutes or so about our major highways that are closed. Fines and even jail time if a person gets caught traveling on them. No warnings issued....not slaps on the hand...definite fines. We have not seen a car or truck go by our place (we live on a county tar road) since about 4pm yesterday. And to think, my youngest called me at 6pm when he got done with work in our town (15 miles away) and wanted me to come in and visit b/4 he took off for home which is 70 miles away. I told him to stay put but he drove home and texted me when he got there. Was a nervous couple of hours till I knew he was off the roads. A mother's worries are never over. Well, got both my frig's washed out. Will need to send some things home with DS b/4 we go. Started some of the packing this morning and plan on doing the rest of what I can do this afternoon. Cuz.....the first inkling that we are able to hop in that car and take off, that stuff is going to be loaded....along with my dog. Almost wish we were taking the truck but the car will limit me on what I really don't need to take anyway. As you all know, (or should if you don't) that I am a self-confessed clothes horse. The biggest decision for me is to decide what I NEED to take and what I WANT to take. Once I get than done, packed and not allow myself to change things, I will be done. I know I will need a mix of both summer and warmer clothes...weather sounds pretty iffy down there right now. Great...what station did OWN replace? I get you on the Oprah thing. I will turn on the show if there is a subject I am interested in seeing but I can hardly stomach her any more. She yells out in such a weird manner and then repeats herself over and over again. She has changed so much. She is not as genuine as she was many years ago. And, of course she has a big head....you need one to be in that business. Dr. Phil is the same. They have both had some really interesting shows and a person has to admire them for how far they have come but enough of the self-promotion already. OK...that was my bitch for the day. LOL

Arlene...DH had TV on the other day and I caught Dr. Oz's show where he touched on a number of "diet tricks". One I remember is "the spicier the better" to rev up the metabolism. Another was drinking oolong tea. That's about all I remember but he did talk about his article in the mag. I have always listened to little tips here and there but I am not one to jump on a trend or designer diet. A person can take bits and pieces of info and incorporate them in their daily menu but if I could scream it from the snow hills here in MN, and anyone would listen, I would say that the one and only thing a person needs is to plan their day to day menu and stick to it the best you can for that day. And, if perhaps there's an over-indulgence, get right back on that horse and continue on with a food plan that is healthy but one that you find enjoyment in eating. I am a true believer that over-indulging or binge eating comes from feeling certain foods are never allowed and a person feels bad and things snowball back to the bad habits. When I started my food reduction plan prior to surgery, I decided that if I was going to be successful that I needed to NOT feel deprived. I had my daily/weekly treats but they were allowed for in my plan. I know it sounds so strict but it's really not. It's the way we need to live. It really does teach us to take control and moderate the treats and not run with them. The one thing that would get me in trouble and on the road to giving up on a diet was that I saw certain foods as "bad". I would feel defeated and naughty if I ate anything that wasn't planned for and then I would totally give up on the diet and feel like a failure. Not sure if I explained that the way I meant it. Melissa...so happy you had a great time. You took the steps to go and that is a very positive step. Now.....keep future parties and events in mind and how good you will feel about yourself with every pound lost. When ppl start to notice our weight loss, it's very encouraging and makes us want to try even harder. Change the way you talk to yourself these next few weeks. When you are hungry or bored and going to reach for something that you know you shouldn't, TELL YOURSELF YOU CANNOT HAVE IT. Force yourself...push yourself. After sticking with a plan for a couple of weeks, it gets so much easier. We start to see results and that spurs us on.

Cheri...my youngest DS is pulling the same kind of crap right now with his dad and his brother. Refuses to talk to either of them at all. Playing the blame game and there is nothing to connect it to. Kind of came out of the blue and it's been tough. Tough love is working it's way and I and DH are willing to wait it out until he is ready to come around and sit down and work it out. It's frustrating but only advice I have is keep the door open and let her wallow for her bit of time and hopefully she will get to the point where she is ready. I've tried everything possible and have gotten no where. I've given up on that bit of it and just keep it open for him to communicate with me but I do not back down on my conviction and how I feel about what he is doing to his dad and brother. Keep seeing the grandkids and ask your DD once in awhile if she is ready to talk. DH got the plow out by the time I got dressed to go out. Whew....good for me.

Gosh, Cheri.....I agree with you...you need to form some friendships outside of your work friends so you will have someone to coffee or lunch with on days like this. It has to be terribly lonely with your DH working nights and sleeping days. I can feel your sorrow and, yes, I would love it if you cold scoop me up and take me for a fun-filled day in the city. You'll have to picture my life and surroundings in order to understand that I could be in that lonesome state every day of my life if I did not throw some friends into the mix. I NEED to get off this farm every other day or I go stir crazy. Even when my schedule is extremely busy, I need to find time for see people and connecting with my friends. You need to do that for yourself also. You stated that you have started to pull away from church ppl and choir. Is it that these things filled up some time for you and you are now missing that connection? I have an idea for you.....try to see if there is a LB support group in your area or reach out to ppl on LBT that are in your area....maybe would be an opportunity to form a few friendships. Heck, Sandy is not that far from you. Maybe meet up with her once a month for coffee. I find it sooooooooooo ironic. You live in an area just spilling with people. I live in such a small community that the opportunity to meet new ppl is almost impossible. One of the reasons I started going to my church....opportunities. Happy New Year to All! We had a wonderful NYE together. The first we have ever spent alone together. Weird, huh? We had a great time and went to bed way too late but slept in till 7am. DH is now out with the truck and plow trying to get the snow cleaned off the driveways. Just looked out the window to see him walking back to get my truck. Can't see behind the buildings but think he must have gotten the plow stuck and needs to pull. Most likely will have to get my snowman suit on and go help if he calls. Yep, got the call..later

Thank you for the wonderful NY wish, Janet....back at ya. You dinner and evening with movies sounds wonderful. Have dinner over with and just made a couple of drinks for DH and I to make a toast. Out with the old and in with the new. Not talking about us...LOL. Have the monopoly game ready to go and going to try by best to beat his little butt. It's never happened with that game. He plays monopoly like he farms. I'm doomed.

Heck, Jessica...I thought it was normal to freeze b/4 you could get a chance to drink it!

Heck, Janet....I have a panic attack if I know I am spending TOO much time with DH. We get a long great but too much time together is just that.....too much time together. 9 months out of the year we are not together much. Then as soon as harvest is over I have him almost 24/7. A BIG adjustment. I'm not used to hovering and it takes being tactful in figuring out ways to get him out to the shop for a few hours a day. I love my independence. That's why these snowstorms have been so tough. I feel caged. I do understand where you are coming from on feeling just as cold with your weather as we do in ours. It's all what you are accustomed to. Not sure what the low was during the night but it was 1 degrees this morning at 8am. The older I get, the less I tolerate the cold. I used to go out and skate with the kids and build forts and spend hours outside just 15 yrs ago. Now I run from the car into the supermarket and leave the car running. Have a good evening with your friend. Enjoy your lobster. Jodi....I was wondering the same thing when I saw you pop on. I figured Dazzi was not looking. LOL. Happy New Year! Great....did you ever figure out what you are going to take to your party tomorrow???? I don't think I saw where anyone answered your question on what would go good with spaghetti. We are watching the news...Arlene....sounds like that hostage situation is still going on. Looks like a small little bank branch. They are stating that one suspect is in custody and one is still in bank with 2 hostages. Hope they make it out safely.

Arlene...I heard a couple of hours ago on the radio (about 3 hours ago) that the bank manager was shot, taken away by ambulance, and that there were still being hostages held. Horrible. Hope it is still not going on. Enjoy your evening with DH.

Linda..haven't looked at the route to Chicago as far as who is where but would love a road trip with the girls. Maybe a drive to your place and overnight, pickup Joyce the next morning and onto Chicago! Another option would be for me to fly out of MPLS. Will just wait and see when the final plans fall into place. I always have "free" airline miles to use and might be more $$$$ reasonable for me to fly. Love the girl's road trip though. Thanks for sharing your experience with the 100 cal packs. Funny how it takes someone else to make us see the light. That's what is so great about this thread. We get off on so many different subjects but it all comes back to what we are putting into our mouths and why. I don't share much on the thread on how I eat. Don't get me wrong....no one here makes me feel like the black sheep but sometimes I feel that way because I am so "different" in what I eat. But, on the other hand, I did got through the weight loss experience and was very successful prior to and after surgery and can share that experience with others. One of the reasons I don't post what I eat is that I don't want someone that is a newbie or someone that is lurking and reading to think that it even close to the norm. I don't know what 100 cal packs are. Yesterday I opened up a box of Crunchy Go Lean and finished it off with my 3am feeding. Plus, I had 3 reg meals with protein/sweat potato and 3 Protein bars for Snacks and a big bag of popcorn while doing crosswords. My LP doc calls me an enigma. I call myself a LB freak. Doc has mentioned a couple of times of using me for an example with other patients. Told him I was far from being the "LB Poster Child". Look at the reaction I got from that other LB person last week. The "B" word still goes through my brain when I think about it but she in no way made me feel bad about myself. Waiting for the day that all of this changes and I will once again have to be vigilant with watching calories. So, for right now, I will just enjoy. I am soooooooo disappointed that I did not pick up my lobster last week when I was in Alexandria. They were huge and about $35. I ended up with salmon, which both DH and I love. King crab is something that we both love also. This is the FIRST NYE that we didn't either host a party or go out to one. With the weather we are having, I just hope ppl use their heads and stay safe. Going to text both of my boys later and give them the "momma lecture" (with love and then threats...lol).

Tina....I find it very disturbing that your partner would think that she would have the ability to "let you" do ANYTHING. We all have things that we will and will not allow in a marriage (normal boundries). IMO, the more independent a person is, the happier their relationships will be. One person exhibiting control over their mate is very selfish on that person's part. You stated a week ago that you felt this relationship was over because all of the fighting. I would be laying out the dynamics of this relationship to a therapist. Never hurts to have a third party take a look at things. Especially now when you will be making so many changes in your life and will be gaining some independence just due to weight loss alone. Hugs. Congrats on your 2.5 yrs. OA sounds like a great idea. There are a couple of the girls on this thread that have attended OA.

Cheri...I think we have all blurted things and wanted to have the ability to shove them back where came from. I am not discounting the fact that this might be intensified for you because, as you stated, you don't have the time to "filter" b/4 the damage is done. If you are in a situation where you feel you have offended someone, you can always explain it's just you being you, apologize and let them know you were born without that "filter". LOL You have really opened up and shared so much the last few weeks. It's been interesting and I, for one, appreciate getting to know you better. Not everyone has the ability to put it all into words. Get back on that protein train today so that you are not kicking yourself. As far as the other train you eluded to....sounds like a good way to get some exercise. LOL Well, there's finally a lull in the storm. Snowplows have gone by but most business' in town are closed. Going to send DH to the bank soon b/4 the next snowstorm hits. I am NOT going out in this stuff. Wrapping things up with the last deposits and payments and will be able to close out the books today and have our last tax appt on Tuesday and doing a cash analysis on Monday or Tuesday evening with our farm management person. DH has quite a few bushels of corn contracted that need to get to the elevator and then we are free to take off for the South. We could get delayed hauling corn if it storms. Will just have to wait and see what Monday, Tues and Wed are like and accept what comes our way. Can't set the plans in concrete during winter months in MN. Our weather is just too iffy....especially this year. My A$$ is so sick of this mess we have had. Have lost track of the number of snow and ice storms we have had. Whine.... Better get to work...will check in later. Melissa...have a great time at your party. Hold your head up high. Safe travels. Happy New Year to all that I might miss later today. Hope 2011 bring you all health and happiness. Make this next year your year to accomplish your goals. If you have those last lbs that are haunting you, make this next year the year to get rid of them. Hit it head on and don't look back. Love to all.