DreamWeaver44

I've been wanting to get myself a blender. What kind do you have? I can't get enough of the icee drinks, lol.

I know just what you mean... the first month, I was losing a pound a day almost! Of course I sort of took it for granted because I wasn't eating. Now that I can tolerate solids (at 6 weeks) I'm stalling, and even put a pound back on! It makes me afraid, and I want to stop eating solids and go back to the shakes. I've started obsessing about food, like "maybe I should only have 1/2 that tiny chicken strip" when I used to eat 10x that much! I guess this is my first test, to see if I can make this "lifestyle thing" work. It's intimidating and scary... to not lose would seem so horrible after everything.

I loved that you said you were "Shamelessly working on you". I think that is probably part of it though. You have found your inner peace and are happy with yourself; while she is not. She is looking, rather than figuring out what she needs to do to be happy even without a man. (I've been guilty of that) And another thing that I've thought about lately... people get used to us in certain "roles" and then they don't know what to do with a new you! I've always been the overweight, single friend who cracks jokes at herself and is non-threatening. (ie: not competition) So if this changes, (and I hope it does) it changes things and people don't like change, even if it's positive.

I loved this. I hope it helps me get motivated to move; have been procrastinating! But I'm like you, I've learned to almost prefer exercising alone. I can sort out all my worries and just go zen, lol. I listen to my ipod and it really does feel so good after you're done. I walk outside when I can, because it's like meditation to experience nature. (I live in the country) I've had a personal goal to start jogging. I used to years ago, and it felt like such an accomplishment! I want to get back to that. Thank you

I hope you got it, wore it, loved how you felt in it! You should be proud of your body after all your hard work. And I've noticed that girls don't seem to worry as much about the bra showing. I know this used to be taboo, but now all the fashions are practically see-thru anyway with the current crochet trend! (lol) I'm excited for you, hope you rocked it!

I am so thrilled for you! I read that whole story on pins and needles just hoping you would say you could get the surgery! I ached for what you've been through. I know this can be a whole new start for you; and one that you deserve. If you are traveling by air, take bouillon cubes! We wish we would have, because the airports do not have anything you are allowed to eat, and the stress of travel can wear you down. With those, all you have to do is ask for some hot Water and you're all set. You might travel with Jello too. We also could not have made it without Gas-X strips afterward. And if you really want to splurge? Get some sugar-free popsicles and pack them in your checked baggage. You will feel like you have retained some semblance of "normal" that way, after the surgery. You are going to do great! So excited for you! You have worked so hard for this

I hear you. Really haven't found a Protein Bar that doesn't have that awful "wang" taste afterward! I try to always carry BOOST shakes with me in my purse, and wherever I'm at, if I start to feel shaky or just tempted to hit McDonald's, I'll get some ice and drink it. (They don't have to be refrigerated) But I struggle too, because it's just me at home and I work nights to boot! I try to keep cheese on hand, the individual serving kind, and lots of yogurt. It's hard though, when you want a real meal in a hurry. I keep/pack in my lunch the individual oatmeal too. There's one, (a banana flavor) that is 10 grams) I have caved recently and bought frozen pre-cooked chicken-strips, but I did gain this week, and I think they are the culprit because they're breaded. I'm almost disappointed that I can tolerate all my foods now, lol.

I'm still not there yet, but I too covet friends that can shop at VS! I can't wait to buy a pretty matching set and feel sexy!

That's so funny, because you're right, it's not exactly something you can casually bring up with your work buddies! (lol) I actually went almost 2 weeks! (never felt bad, but was on mostly liquids) Then accidentally I tried a little coffee. To say the least, things evened out! I don't think I'll do coffee again anytime soon. (lol)

In January my boyfriend died. He was the first man who had ever made me feel beautiful at my size. He saw my value even with the weight, and made me feel special and loved. He was so uplifting, and encouraging. I wanted to lose weight still for myself; but it was so wonderful to have someone who felt I was enough even if I didn't. He wanted me to be healthy, and happy with myself, but let me know daily I was already loved. When he died suddenly, I was devastated. Already someone who suffered from depression, I turned to food even more. Fast food became my only (daily) source of comfort. I think sometimes I might have been subconsciously eating myself to death. I just didn't care anymore. My sister had a friend going for surgery. She suggested it to me, and on a lark, I agreed. I had nothing to lose and figured it wouldn't work out anyway. I agreed mostly to pacify my family, who I knew was worried about me. I was afraid to hope. At that point emotionally, I didn't believe anything would work out for me. I have to wonder if my boyfriend was pulling some strings somewhere, because every door kept opening; the surgery was actually going to happen. My family was amazing. They rallied, they FINANCED me, they pushed me to accomplish each step toward surgery from obtaining my passport to surviving the pre-op diet! They were so patient and encouraging, even when I was less than easy to love; so mired in my grief. They gave me hope again. They made me realize I had not lost all; I was still loved. It's making me cry to even tell this, because they were just so selfless in trying to help me. My sister sat at the passport agency with me for 6 hours (on her birthday) to get an expedited card. I'm just so grateful. For so many reasons. It's been so hard sometimes... but I know I can do it, and I know I'm loved and supported. There are men who would have loved me as a "big girl", Danny taught me that... but I had to learn to love myself, and I finally am.

I had the surgery in Mexico also... try to remember that you are very fragile at this point. Let the scale go for now and just be kind to yourself; your body is trying to recover. Listen to it, how it "feels" and not the scale right now. I know that's easier said than done, but it does start to go down eventually, and I haven't even been great about the exercise. I do plan to remedy that, now that I'm feeling mostly human again, lol. But your main goals for now are hydration and rest and protein. I found that pedialyte popsicles were a life-saver, and I recommend you get the unflavored Protein powder and add to everything.

That's so hard, but maybe she will surprise you! I dreaded telling my Mom, especially since I was going to Mexico to do it and people have misconceptions about the care there. But as a person who has also struggled with her weight, she shocked me by saying she was thrilled for me! The people in my life have seen me be so unhappy with myself because of my weight and want me to feel better, be healthier and regain some self-esteem. I hope they will support you, but if not you have us... this site has been really great.

I remember feeling resentful at first, which I knew was crazy, and I tried to hide, lol. It's been getting better, as I learn different tactics to help myself cope. I met friends at a restaurant, and yes, while their food looked and smelled delicious, I managed by ordering a strawberry margarita (sans alcohol) and ate it with a spoon. I have had great luck with anything frozen. I buy TONS of popsicles! (lol) I even found some that taste like rootbeer and dr. pepper, so that when I'm feeling really pouty about all the restrictions, I can feel like I'm indulging. I think that's the thing, we are not a population (as surgery recipients) that like limiting ourselves, so it's super hard to wrap your head around. But we needed help making better decisions, and we want to feel (and look) better and this is what it took. It's hard, but worth it.

I don't regret it... but I say to people, "If you have even a modicum of self-control, you MAY not have to choose this option". I didn't... but do I wish I could eat like normal healthy people? Knowing what I know now, do I wish I could have learned to eat tiny healthy portions on my own? Yes, but I couldn't. I'm a little envious of people who can "mostly" eat healthy and then say "let loose" at a cookout! We'll never be able to indulge like we once did... but it is what it is, and I made the choice I needed to.

I so relate to this... I always inhaled my food, and NEVER left food behind. I'm almost a month post-op and that's been the hardest part! I tried to eat a whole egg mashed with mustard and got painfully sick. It's frustrating because it's like you want to say to your stomach, "Are you kidding?" I used to feed you 3 big macs and fries and now you won't let me eat a single egg in one sitting? And you start to get down, and think, "If I could just eat like regular skinny people - I would be happy to do THAT now!" But we are here bc (or I am) bc I had no self-control. The surgery is a drastic measure, but I shouldn't fool myself, it took that to stop me from eating myself to death. It's hard to accept... but it's getting easier every day. I have to learn to say, "That tasted amazing... and I can have some more at my next meal maybe or tomorrow." (one day at a time)

I'm almost at one month, and I feel you... I've taken to asking friends to describe what they ate over the weekend! It's like a food porn thing! Lol! I'm losing weight, and that helps, but sometimes I think, "Anyone would lose weight if they could only eat yogurt and boost"... (shrug) It's a process... the hardest part is working on the mental addiction.

This site has been my refuge. Anytime I have a question, or a doubt, or feel discouraged... it helps! Tonight, (because it seems everyone keeps track by weeks) I looked at the calendar and realized I'm only 2 weeks out! Time seems to move very slowly, but it made me realize how impatient I've been; and that I need to slow down and appreciate how well I feel only 2 weeks post-op! I've been focusing on the things I've lost, the things I can't do... rather than on how great I feel already, just not consuming fast-food 24/7 I miss the temporary comfort it always provided, but I sure don't miss the sluggish, low blood-sugar haze I stayed in. I don't miss spending all the money it took to buy one more carb-loaded feast to get me through the next exhausted shift. (I work nights) I was killing myself, and I had stopped caring in many ways. Two weeks: and my incisions are healing nicely, I've lost 21 pounds total, and already I feel a difference in the way I'm able to get around. It was a struggle before just to manage personal hygiene and getting dressed. I was literally to the point that I would break a sweat getting dressed and just cry because I felt hopeless to improve things. Then surgery became a possibility, and gave me new hope. It has been a struggle to get the fluids and protein in, but I haven't been sick yet, only some mild indigestion. I think I balked at first; because I imagined surgery meant being able to not have to think about food so much. Let's be honest, I'm lazy. But it's a different kind of planning, and once I develop a routine I know it will get better. I have to watch myself with my negative-thinking-habits, but I'm excited about the future and to witness the journey of so many others as well. Ami

That's so funny... that's just what I told my friend the other day. I asked him to describe all the great food he'd eaten over the weekend to me. I'm not sure I'd be strong enough to look at it, but hearing about it helped in a strange way, lol. I'm post-op 2 weeks, and there was a huge billboard for McDonalds outside my office. (It was painful)

Have you seen all the recent backlash against surgery? It's like "These women lost weight - WITHOUT SURGERY"; like us having surgery somehow invalidates our struggle. Because if they HAD the surgery, they would realize it's still just as hard! I would say maybe harder. It's just a different kind of hard. We still have to watch what we eat, still have to work-out, still have to do all those things. People "think" it's a magic pill.

I know what you mean... I think I was hoping there would be something that completely prevented me from eating! But I haven't been sick yet at all. I think for some people, that "full point" is more subtle. Mine (I finally realized) is more like the feeling of heartburn. Sadly, I'm realizing that I will still have to control my eating and work through my old thoughts and behaviors toward food. Keeping a journal has helped.

It is so hard. I know it's in my head, but those thoughts and habits die hard. Initially when I would go to restaurants with family, I even secretly resented them for being able to eat all the things I wanted. What I do now that helps: I'll order a smoothie or a frozen drink without the alcohol. I've found anything frozen goes down for me, and then you're not just mooning at their food, lol. I think it's really more about having something to do, so even hot tea works.

Like you; I have always been a big water drinker. If I worked-out, it was nothing to down 2-3 bottles immediately after. So the loss of water left me feeling panicked and really thirsty. I've found that a few popsicles help, and the urgent thirst is quenched until I can get more water in. Also, I went and bought pedialyte frozen popsicles because I was worried I wasn't getting enough fluids. It's given me a little more peace of mind. I hope your Doc says everything is ok