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Status Updates posted by Paige Dukes
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2 days post op now. Having a hard time making myself eat/drink and also get up and walk. I just want to sleep, which I have been doing a lot of. I have noticed today it is much easier to get up and down and that my appetite has slightly returned. Looking forward to the banded life!
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After quite some time browsing this site, extensive research, and , meeting with a bariatric surgeon, the decision has been made. All that needs to be done now is to set a date for surgery. I am very excited.
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Bought neon pink and blue hot pants today. Fierce!
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Coming up on 90 lbs lost. The strange thing is I am kind of having a hard time dealing with it mentally. I still feel like a 300 lbs girl in my head.
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It is a hard thing to wrap your head around. I can accept my size but there are a lot of changes that come with losing weight that are hard to explain to people and have them understand. Replacing your entire wardrobe in a matter of months, and still constantly needs new and different things isn't easy to accept, even if you like shopping.
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Thank you all for the reassurance. I wasn't expecting this to all be so hard emotionally. I anticipated missing the old eating habits, but all in all I don't miss my old habits, but I do miss the relative invisibility that came with being so large. People comment quite often on my weight loss and it is beginning to make me uncomfortable. But at the same time, I am incredibly proud of the progress I have made and the hard work I have put in. I think part of the problem is I don't really see much of a difference when I look in the mirror. I can physically feel that I take up less space, but I look at myself and just see 325 lbs. I can recognize I may need some counseling.
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When I look at myself naked in the full length mirror, I don't see a lot of change. Everything looks the same, maybe a little smaller. When I put clothes on I can really tell the difference. Also sometimes I just randomly see differences. This week I noticed that my neck is much slimmer. I had to look at pictures over the past few months to realize, yes my face is slimmer too. I can't see it in the mirror but comparing pictures I can. I try taking pictures of yourself and see if that helps.
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Day 10 pre-op, still losing! When I want to stuff my face I just remind myself how well I'm doing by trying on clothes that are not too big.
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Did a week of higher calories, not to scale it back again in hopes my weight loss will kick start again. The wait is frustrating.
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Down from a 26 to a 20. I bought jeans at Old Navy today. So ready to say goodbye to plus size stores!
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First two night back at work went well. I am so very thankful for such a supportive work crew.
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First visit with the nutritionist today! Ready to learn!
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Five pounds lighter AFTER vacation? I'll take it!
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It was definitely difficult when the rest of the family would order the delicious looking fried seafood platter or heavily sweetened mixed drinks, but I stuck to my guns and only ordered grilled or steamed items. I also used it as an excuse to get more active and try activities I wouldn't have before.
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Gained 4 pounds of fluid over night. Got to stop forgetting to take my meds. :/
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Got a surgery date! July 14th. I am ready to start this journey.
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Got my first fill today. Definitely feeling a difference.
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Had a really emotional night. Haven't slept in a while. This makes me realize there are a lot more issues going on than basic overeating.
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Just a lot of frustration and anger and fear culminated into one big cry fest. Really helped to get it all out, but still can't sleep. just can't shut my brain off.
I think part of my problem may be I am used to working 12 night shifts and when I go to sleep I crash and sleep like a brick. I have been off for 12 days for the surgery and I think my sleep cycle isn't used to the time off.
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yikes paige....its ok to have a cry fest, you've been through a lot and yes there is so much more to all of our lives other than just the weight. I use 1mg of Ativan, it helps but not for every one. Sleep deprivation on top of everything is so hard on us ( im not a good sleeper), your body ad mind is out of wack. It will be better soon. xoxox
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Have had a hell of a week. Had to cut short the New Orleans trip due to mouth pain. Ended up gaining 5 pounds due to poor food choices, and then lost it again after having to have this bastard of a tooth pulled. I have never experienced pain like that. I now have a busted smile but at least the pain has diminished greatly. NOW TO GET BACK ON TRACK!
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Have had a really rough couple of days. Developed a tooth abscess that is currently making me miserable. The antibiotics and pain medications have made me incredibly nauseous. All of this and I have surgery on Monday. My surgeon is aware I need a root canal and that I am on abx, and he said he is going to call me on Monday to see how I feel, but I am so worried that this is going to get worse and the surgery will need to be post poned. I can't change this date I already jumped through hoops to get the time off I needed. According to the surgeons assistant it shouldn't be canceled unless I run a fever, which I haven't, but my stress level is through the roof. All of this and it is my turn to be nurse coordinator all weekend for an entire psychiatric hospital. This is going to be a trying 4 days.
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Hi Paige! I am so sorry this happened at the last minute. Hopefully they have your antibiotics working and surgery won't get postponed on you.
Try to do something nice for yourself to help you relax the next few days. Take a long hot bath, listen to some music, read a book. Try some deep breathing exercises which will both help your pain and your anxiety. I promise, I use it all the time and I was a non believer for years.
I hope everything gets cleared up and wish you the best!
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Have had a rough week. Had to put our dog down Wednesday. Not handling it well. On top of that I have been working a lot og overtime and haven't had time to cook. It makes food choices harder but I'm still staying in my calorie allowance, and still dropping weight, at least.
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I actually bought a pair of skinny jeans yesterday!
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I hate having such a problem with fluid retention. I know those 2-3 pounds of weight gain overnight is excess fluid but it is still disheartening to see on the scale.
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I'm so tired of being sick. The meds the doc gave me have my appetite up and down (mostly down) and my energy level is nil. I just want to get back on track.
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Last night I went from super excited that my surgery is only two weeks away, to absolutely terrified. It hit me while I was trying to go to sleep. It was almost a complete panic attack. I started thinking about surgery and being under anesthesia. I don't fear the lifestyle change that comes after, my fears are 100% based on this nagging idea that I could be THAT person who has the negative reaction to anesthesia, or throws a clot, or bleeds out, and on and on and on. After finally falling asleep I had nightmares all night related to death. I trust my surgeon 100%, I just all of a sudden got hit with the anxiety surrounding the potential complications. I really hope that when the day finally gets here that I am not a complete wreck.
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Same thing happened to me! When I made the surgery appt, it was exactly 4 weeks away, then over that weekend, I woke up in a panic thinking "it's only 3 1/2 weeks away!" I don't know why 3 1/2 sounded so much closer than 4! LOL! It will go by fast! And anesthesia is always a little scary. It is always the part I dread for any surgery I have had (which is numerous I am afraid). I have had some not great experiences in the past, but the person I had for my bypass was AMAZING! Easiest going to sleep and waking up and without nausea I have ever had. I was very grateful for him! Try to keep your mind off that part if you can.
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Officially dropped from a size 26 to a 16. I hit a lot more stalls lately and they last longer and longer, but I will not let it bring me down. I am proud of the progress I made, and I am only half way to goal!
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One pound away from 40 gone! I think when I hit 50 I should celebrate with something fun. Maybe a trip!