choosehope

I'm cautious in writing this because I know I've blown it and really don't need any guilt or shame. I have plenty of it to go around. I became ill the beginning of September with a severe case of pneumonia for which I was hospitalized. I was due for bypass on September 23, and that obviously didn't happen. I'm only now beginning to feel better, but am heartsick and so disgusted with myself. I got on a scale and have gained 25 pounds in the last two months! I had been steadily losing weight for a while but blew it while recuperating! I had hoped to have surgery this year, but am now scheduled for January 7. I'm so determined to turn this around and have eaten no sugar and moderate portions for the last six days. I use the name Choosehope because I know it is a choice, but oh the mind games! The self-doubt. The self-loathing. Even ambiguity and apathy about the surgery. My mind keeps telling me I'm one of the people who will fail. I also have to get this 25 pounds off before surgery. Can I possibly eat "right" for two months (with Thanksgiving and Christmas in the midst)?! If you ever had dreams of being a cheerleader, team Choosehope really needs someone rooting for them! I need to stay honest and accountable while also being told that I CAN do this! Before I got sick, it was just a few weeks away, and I was so pumped! Now it seems so far off and impossible. I've been avoiding this forum as it just made me look in the mirror even more. I'm back because I need your encouragement, strength and hope. Sorry for the long post. Thanks for listening! Trying to ChooseHope!

I really like the support group. Have met some great people and learned helpful info! There's also a FB page that you sign up for!

I was scheduled for surgery on Wednesday but have had to postpone due to illness. After more than a week of being sick, I ended up in the ER and was admitted with pneumonia and asthma. There have been times as I've laid here in this bed hooked up to things, being poked and prodded that I wonder if I've lost my mind for having signed up for gastric bypass I still want and need it more than I can possibly describe - I'm desperate. But I'm also remembering what feeling helpless and out of control is like; of being in constant pain and I'm afraid of the surgery. How unfriendly and undignified hospitals can be even with the very best of care. I don't know if I could handle being constantly ill with possible additional surgeries for strictures or ulcers or hernias. I hope it's just my mind scaring me because I'm overloaded on steroids and other meds. There's also that part of me that wonders why I'm this sick right when I was suppose to have surgery. I'm never sick like this. Can't help but wonder if God is trying to tell me something. Guess I just needed to vent. Needed someone to hear what's rolling around in this overactive mind of mine as I lie in a hospital bed. Sure could use some reassurance; some cheerleaders; some reminders of all this (bypass) can be. Thanks!

As I get closer to the time of my surgery (one month), it is becoming more and more difficult to not tell my dad. He knows I'm having surgery and wants to know why. I've told him its a personal issue but feel like I'm not being honest. I have a very close family, and my dad has supported me through several treatments for food addiction. Frankly, I want my dad's support and encouragement. However, dad got remarried ten years ago - five years after my mom's death- and his wife is difficult. She tends to be a know it all and to be very judgmental. Even though there are only twelve years between our ages, she likes to tell me and my sibs how to live. She has a quick easy answer for everything and is one of those southern ladies who can smile, saying bless your heart, while she stabs you in the back. I'm being a bit unfair as she does love my dad and makes him happy. However, I just don't want her to be a part of this journey. I'm so torn between wanting to talk with my dad (86 years old) and wanting to keep it from her and I just don't know how to do both. Anyone in a similar situation? I'd love to know how you handled it? Thanks so much!!

I'm just so sorry you are having to go through this!! Having had a few abdominal surgeries, my surgeon asked me if I would rather wake up with nothing done or a sleeve if the bypass couldn't be done. I'm using what happened to you as a cautionary tale to lose as much weight as I can pre-surgery. It had to be so disappointing and confusing given your lower BMI. And to have to go through TWO surgeries! Bless your heart! Stay strong! Your time is coming!

I have ortho static hypotension and naturally low blood pressure even being pre-surgery. I was told to drink G-2 and increase my sodium intake when I'm low.

It always gets under my skin just a it to hear WLS elective. For many (most?), it's saving our lives as surely as surgery for cancer or some other life threatening illness. I didn't just wake up one day and think "gee, surgery sounds like the easy way to do this. " I've struggled with my weight and its ramifications for years. I was dying a slow and sure death. After reading about wls, I know it's going to take big sacrifices, major life changes, possible complications. Really, elective? No wonder some people look down on WlS or equate it with the current societal drive to be beautiful through surgery, injections and so forth. In my opinion, we need to get the medical community to stop calling it elective. We all know we've had to demonstrate unhealthy bmi, lack of success with diets after multiple sincere attempts and medical comorbidities. This isn't a luxury surgery; it's not an attempt to fit in size 2 clothes. It is a desperate, deliberate and informed decision to excise the metaphorical cancer that is killing each of us.

I was all set for my September 23 surgery. Friend and sister off work to take turns helping me - check. Dog sitter arranged - check. All my liver shrink diet and first week post-op "food" I'm the pantry - check. Pre-op labs - check. You get the gist. I was supposed to start liver shrink Monday but instead I'm in the midst of what has now become eight day flu or its evil twin. Doc is not sure what's going on, but have eight days of Tylenol and antibiotic I'm still running a fever, coughing up a lung, and vomiting. Had to make the decision that right now isn't the time for surgery. Not sure when it will be rescheduled. I'm disappointed but am trying to look at it as a learning experience. While sick, I immediately turned to gingerale, crackers and chicken noodle Soup. Water made me nauseous and the Zofran didn't help. Made me worried about my readiness to handle nausea and illness post surgery. The internal debate is whether or not this a good indication that I need a good two month abstinence from sugar, flour and my trigger foods, as well as a good exercise plan, so things like this don't take me down so hard. Or do I reschedule it as soon as I'm well and have the doc's approval. Making a list of pros and cons, discussing it with my therapist but I'd love input from you in the trenches so to speak! Thanks!

Oh DrMeow, I'm so sorry. That must have been so discouraging! I guess we will both just have to hang in there and wait for the "right" time!

Woo Hoo! Way to go! Throw a party for those closest to you. When they ask what the occasion is say "me! I'm celebrating one amazing year and want to celebrate it with you," Or have a thank you party - it's been one year since my surgery, and I couldn't have done it without you."

Wow - what an inspiration!!

Hi all! I was scheduled for September 23 but it's getting pushed off because of illness mo was just wondering if you all worry about having surgery right when you have to deal with Thanksgiving and Christmas?

Thinking about ordering the unflavored and the peanut butter cup. Looked for reviews on line but couldn't find any, so I'm here for Bariatric Pal input. Anyone put it to the taste test?

1 baby girl, you can get all the nectar products from mybariatricpantry.com. They have a sample pack and will let you ask for specific flavors. And I found them great to work with!

Good luck to everyone going in tomorrow!!!

God got the last laugh on me! I planned my food funeral pre liver shrink - steak, loaded baked potato, salad. Then I got the stomach bug! My food funeral was ginger ale and saltines, but better than the real, in the ground funeral, I thought they were going to have to have for me by the third day of the bug.

Gorgeous!!

Have you googled Bariatric shake recipes? I have many great sounding ways to modify plain shakes. I ordered this and am so glad I did as it not only has ideas but ways to work with the powder to make it the texture/consistency desired: http://www.amazon.com/gp/aw/d/1480101095/ref=mp_s_a_1_1?qid=1441633999&sr=8-1π=SY200_QL40&keywords=bariatric+shakes+book&dpPl=1&dpID=41Q8WEwHzpL&ref=plSrch

I think it depends on the surgeon. She said it wasn't routine but to ask for one I want it. Sorry the she I was referring to was my surgeon.

I'm going with Vitamin Patches so hopefully this won't be an issue for me!

I've decided to get rid of my scale and only go by what the doc says or give it to my psych and weigh once a week there. I know my tendency to let my emotions and self concept get caught up in the scale. I've also engaged in restricting and purging behaviors when my scale wasn't showing what it was suppose to before a weigh in. I have to stop that lunacy, and the first step, for me, is no scale....until maintenance where I will watch it like a hawk so I don't fool myself into gaining all my weight back. The control food and weight has over my mind is ridiculous! But I'm breaking free!!

Happy dance! Glad you are doing well. Hate to hear that it was so painful and that your bloop pressure went as crazy as it did! Good luck with the next few weeks! Joining you on the bench on the 23!

Wow!! How exciting! Will be praying for you! Let me know how it goes!

I am scheduled for RNY on September 23. Although I live with chronic, low grade nausea because of a medical problem, I have had gi distress from *#ll since Tuesday. Vomiting, can't keep anything down, 102-105 temp, - chills, etc. went to doc and it's either food poisoning or diverticulitis. Regardless, by the second day, all I could think was "is this what my life post bypass is going to be like?" If so, I'm not sure I can do it which for me (forgive the drama but truth) would be like giving myself a death sentence. So I need experience to refute my fears, cold hard facts if that is what my life will be like, cheerleaders.....

Bekbek, anyone told you about making the cabbage soup with all the free veggies you can have? At support group, they say it makes all the difference in the world. Good luck!