misspeesh95621

It is not silly. I thought it was silly and for me I really notice if I forget and use a straw. Especially now that I am at good restriction. The theory is that by drinking through the straw you get the whole top of the straw of air, it goes straight into your stomach under your band. Since being banded I don't burp normally and can't get it out. and it gets very uncomfortable. The scare is that the air can build up and push your band out of place. For me there is a real effect when I forget and use the straw provided. All of my friends and family are on straw watch, among other things to help me remove it from my glass and set it aside.

It is your port....Don't worry my doc says every time I go in to get a fill that my port will move as I loose weight. Everything moves as we shrink.... This is a good thing not bad. it is sore only cause it is hard and sewed into you muscle wall, if you hit it hard enough it will bruise, and it will hurt. I think you will be fine, let your bruise heal and put some ice on it. Thanks for the reminder to be careful.....

I didn't have that, I had staples but I read about it before my surgery, and my friend had the same thing happen. It is your body pushing it out, it is ok, they tell you not to pull on them, but to cut then back it they are bothering you. Good luck, and try not to worry too much. It is normal for your body to be doing this.

I am still trying to find my right restriction, I go in for my 2nd fill next week. It is all trial until it is right.

reposted from my blog http://peeshs-lapband.livejournal.com/ This time has been hard for me, the time between month one and month 2. Nothing has happened, well nothing in my head as well as on the scale. Actually, as my surgeon so kindly pointed out at my fill last Friday, I have gained a few pounds..... Listen here you SOB you have been on vacation for the last 3 weeks and that is why I had to wait almost 9 weeks for my first fill. Not that I am bitter or anything can you tell. I am frustrated. I am scared. I feel weird and different. I feel blind. I feel like I am missing something. I feel sore again. I haven't posted cause I haven't had anything of merit to share. There are no revelations that I have found inspiring. There have been no words that I could spin into amusing tales of my trials....(well not true read my non band related myspace blog). Seriously, I can't even bring myself to re take my measurements cause I can't bear to have then stay exactly them same just as my weight has. I mean seriously I hear the stories that others tell about us all being there and plateaus and regressions, but I scream that I AM DIFFERENT. I am so afraid that this will not work for me. I guess the scary scary part is that it won't work, it is the PCOS and my metabolism disorder.....it is mocking me for trying.... What if it is not the portion sizes, what if my body just wants me to stay this size..... Ok I digress, I hear my panic, but those of you who are not beyond me can't understand, and those beyond me will hopefully smile understand and send hugs and thoughts of patients. I mean I am playing ball again, I am doing yoga, and am exercising again. I feel better, physically. So why the problem? I am not sure. We are all here for one reason or another. "Give it time" I find myself sharing with the newbies on LBT. You didn't pick this surgery to loose as fast as the RNY patients. Don't compare, the scale doesn't matter, it is the bigger things like what you can do, and the meds that you are off. I know what to say to everyone else. I think that is why I have been hiding, I didn't want to hear the platitudes. I wanted it to magically correct itself. I wanted to wake up one day and have everything be alright. Well here I am one month into hiding and where am I? right here in this same stagnant place, wondering what the hell is going on. Well screw this, hiding doesn't help. I am back. I am posting. There is much I have to catch up on. I have to tell you of my first fill, and do my measurements. No more hiding. I made a commitment to myself and others to do this blog. It is my therapy, it is my perspective. I thanks the dear friend who played my muse today and made me want to jump back on the blogging wagon.

reposted from my blog http://peeshs-lapband.livejournal.com/ This time has been hard for me, the time between month one and month 2. Nothing has happened, well nothing in my head as well as on the scale. Actually, as my surgeon so kindly pointed out at my fill last Friday, I have gained a few pounds..... Listen here you SOB you have been on vacation for the last 3 weeks and that is why I had to wait almost 9 weeks for my first fill. Not that I am bitter or anything can you tell. I am frustrated. I am scared. I feel weird and different. I feel blind. I feel like I am missing something. I feel sore again. I haven't posted cause I haven't had anything of merit to share. There are no revelations that I have found inspiring. There have been no words that I could spin into amusing tales of my trials....(well not true read my non band related myspace blog). Seriously, I can't even bring myself to re take my measurements cause I can't bear to have then stay exactly them same just as my weight has. I mean seriously I hear the stories that others tell about us all being there and plateaus and regressions, but I scream that I AM DIFFERENT. I am so afraid that this will not work for me. I guess the scary scary part is that it won't work, it is the PCOS and my metabolism disorder.....it is mocking me for trying.... What if it is not the portion sizes, what if my body just wants me to stay this size..... Ok I digress, I hear my panic, but those of you who are not beyond me can't understand, and those beyond me will hopefully smile understand and send hugs and thoughts of patients. I mean I am playing ball again, I am doing yoga, and am exercising again. I feel better, physically. So why the problem? I am not sure. We are all here for one reason or another. "Give it time" I find myself sharing with the newbies on LBT. You didn't pick this surgery to loose as fast as the RNY patients. Don't compare, the scale doesn't matter, it is the bigger things like what you can do, and the meds that you are off. I know what to say to everyone else. I think that is why I have been hiding, I didn't want to hear the platitudes. I wanted it to magically correct itself. I wanted to wake up one day and have everything be alright. Well here I am one month into hiding and where am I? right here in this same stagnant place, wondering what the hell is going on. Well screw this, hiding doesn't help. I am back. I am posting. There is much I have to catch up on. I have to tell you of my first fill, and do my measurements. No more hiding. I made a commitment to myself and others to do this blog. It is my therapy, it is my perspective. I thanks the dear friend who played my muse today and made me want to jump back on the blogging wagon.

Written 2/23/08 (cross posted from my blog peeshs_lapband) I hate doctors. I swear. I can't tell you how many times bad things would or did happen because I listened to doctors. This is yet again another example of how I know my body. Something was wrong, turns out I have a port infection. It showed up in the CAT scan. I now am on antibiotics, strong strong antibiotics. That should do the trick after the 10 day dose. Here is the scary part, in my research I heard about port infections leading to the removal of the port and later having another put back in. Now I know those who know me I freak out a bit on the "What could have happened?" But seriously, those are big consequences. I hate to say I told you so but I TOLD THEM SO!!!! My surgeon tried (and succeeded) to make me feel stupid for thinking something was wrong, was even impatient with me yesterday for calling again, in fact told me that there was nothing more that he could do and to go to the ER if I was so worried, but I would be wasting my time....WTF it was the best way I could have spent my Friday night. I am so thankful that I listened to my body, no matter how stupid I felt. I am glad that I caught this in time. p.s. Doctors do not know about this procedure so much, I am glad that I did the research that I did and continue to do. There are so many rules that I have to know, and be proactive about. Like not taking pills any more, and getting the right perscription because of it, and no using straws....I forgot that one. I had to chug 32oz of stuff for my CAT scan and was having such a hard time because I was using a straw. I can't use a straw because it puts air into my stomach, and because of the band I can;t burp the same and it gets stuck under the band and can cause it to slip. it took me 3 hours to drink 1/2 of it with a straw....once I remembered and drank it w/o the straw it went fine, and I walked out the burps.... p.p.s For those of you thinking about this surgery, this is not meant to scare, but inform. This is not the easy way out to anything, there are risks and lifestyle changes. Do the research, stay informed and for the love of god trust your body. We are our own best advocates! Always!!!

Hey I just posted this last night to my blog, and I thought that it may be relevant to you....you see we are the same age with similar issues and I too am of the same mind set. Perhaps reading my musings on the subject might help you fell not so alone in this. I know reading yours helped me. So far my blogging have been mostly fact based. I haven't really delved into the mental aspect of all of this except slightly the night before surgery. In that blog I touched on my fear and mistrust of this anticipated new body. Well I feel like it is high time I elaborated. In my fight to love myself, weight, health included, I had to accept myself for any and all strengths and weaknesses. I would like to add that way before I decided to have this surgery I came to terms with my body and loved me for me. I can honestly say that I made this decision strictly to better my health. What I didn't count on was what the realities of loosing a hundredish or so pounds might do to me mentally.... As I pushed forward to the surgery, it occurs to me that relationships are going to change, specifically with men..... and it scares the hell out of me. Here is why. I truly believe that I have so very much to offer, and I am pretty, and damn it people like me, and if you didn't fuck off....lol I had no patience for someone who didn't like me because I am a big girl. I have been lucky enough to have loved and been loved as a big girl. Maybe my weight was a deterrent, saving me from superficial ass holes, perhaps it was a hurdle they had to overcome and love me despite my weight. Whatever it was it was there and it was my safety net. Ergo my fear...my safety net will be gone. I will no longer be able to trust a mans intentions without it.... Specifically, If there is someone in my life now, totally not interested in me (I can only assume cause of my weight as it is the only variably changing) and then once I loose most of my weight, suddenly is interested? How can I trust that? I will always doubt? Or what about some new person I meet as smaller me? Would he have liked me as big me? Would I always doubt him? Now I am obviously single, and this scares the hell out of me. Not the single part but the trust part. Here comes the divulging. Recently I have begun to talk to a guy of my past. I was scared to tell him about my surgery prior to seeing him again, for fear of him adding hundreds of pounds to his fleeting memories of me. I never saw him prior to my surgery. He was the only one who I did not tell on purpose, and I hated that. So I waited for him to ask me for details of my surgery. Then I told him. His answer was perfect..."Good for you. Your health is important!" (Did he get that from the World's Best Answers Book?) Needless to say we have continued to talk. Where this goes is to be determined, but it has helped me transition my head around transitioning into my new body. He has helped me see that my potential insecurities are unfounded. A good man is just that a good man. Their sincerity is what shines through. That in and of itself will be the proof for me. I don't need my self made walls for someone to climb over. I just need to believe in me. Sounds corny, but the moral of the story kids is to believe in yourself. Peesh are you listening? p.s. no I do not believe that my weight will be the only variable changing, any longer.....

written 3/4/08 (cross posted from my blog peeshs_lapband) Today is day two, that I feel normal. I feel good again. No pain, nothing. I am so glad that I took all of the proactive steps that I did and took care of the infections. They have all cleared up and I feel great. I am beginning to experiment with food. I had my follow up with my surgeon today, he gave me the all clear to exercise. I am so excited! Finally, I was waiting to feel like this! Onward and upward!!

dated 2/27/08 (crossed posted from my blog peeshs_lapband) I woke up today feeling dizzy, nauscious, and light headed, and itchy not to mention that my pain was still there....after almost passing out blow drying my hair I went back to bed and called in to work. I called the surgeon, he was in surgery all day, told me to go to the ER and he will meet me there in between surgeries. So I went,and they did more blood work, and tests and an ultra sound, seems like the last ER radiologist jumped the gun and there is no real infection, and he is afraid that I was reacting to the strong antibiotics, oh and now I have a bladder infection...most likely beginning of dehydration....boohissbooo....I was trying so hard, but it did get bad as my pain got to distraction. So I am back to waiting it out, but I feel better with a bit more in-depth work up, with my surgeon there with me, believing me. It felt good this time. On a good note I am down 22.5 lbs, 17 since surgery.....17 lbs in 16 days wowwie that is fast!

Tonight is the night, the night I fall asleep only to wake up and drive to the hospital. I am not scared of the surgery, more amazed that I am here, in this moment finally fasting and waiting for my life to change. The change is the scary part. I like me and I worked hard to get to where I can say that. I realize that I am doing this for my health, but in the same breath I am throwing away a me that I have come to love, and understand. Me and my body have been through a lot. We have been through love, and pain, we have fought for a balance, I have bruised, and battered this body. I have stuffed, waxed, plucked, binded and bandaged this body. I have broken this body. I have found pleasure with this body. I have loved with this body, I have danced, and played, and laughed in this body. How do I wake up and say good bye to this body....? How do I begin to trust this new body that will begin to invade my comfortable self. What will this new body bring to me? What challenges will this new body and I face? This is what scares me, not the surgery, not the will I wake up, not even the pain. Saying good bye to an old friend. I never was good at saying good bye. By the time most of you read this it will be done, this new me will have invaded, and discovering the new me will begin....I have always loved a challenge! (I crossed posted this here as well as my blog... I keep trying to convey this, and never did it as well until way after midnight the night before surgery, Does any one else feel like this?)

Thanks, I appreciate your well wishes, I suppose that I could have been more clear about it being something written a few weeks ago.

I went to the seminar for Dr Ali @UCD, and walked out because of how negative he was about the band. Personally I didn't want to fight that hard for a surgery that the surgeon didn't believe in. I didn't want him to say "told you" if I had a complication.... I was banded 2/11 by Dr Koura out of the methodist hospital. I look forward to meeting a support system here in town.

I am so not as short as this picture makes me look!!! The last time I had pictures taken, was my best friend's wedding 7/07

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