notateechanow

Sorry I didn't get to say goodbye to you guys the other night. I ended up chatting with that prospective patient for a while in the lobby right outside the room. Hope you're all having a good weekend. I've made an appointment for the Tuesday after Thanksgiving for a fill. My first since May. I didn't realize it has been so long since I've had a fill. I've also lost a few pounds in the past week....so things are looking up. I've been making more effort to get to the treadmill and have started playing on the elliptical, too. I have had 2 dates now, too! Things are looking up....Happy Thanksgiving!

You're absolutely right. Thanks for the support. Actually, I've found to avoid the loneliness at night and to put me in a better mood, I've been heading down to the gym around 9:00. it's a time that usually finds me wandering the kitchen, looking for things to eat and when I most miss having someone around. I've been pushing myself to go a little faster and farther every time on the treadmill. I'm up to a little over 3.7 miles in 55 minutes. It's slower than I'd like it to be, but I'm a work in progress. I've also been using the elliptical every few days for variety. I think the best part about working out hard, though, is the part I don't remember from before--the exhaustion after I'm done feels very similar to the way you feel after a good cry, minus the red face and puffy eyes. I also sleep far better. So...I'm thinking I'll probably get a fill after Thanksgiving, when I'm better equipped to deal with my eating. I haven't had a fill since April, so I think it's time...

OH, I've been living as if I'm not even banded lately. I don't know if I'm restricted. I do know that when I'm stressed, it's harder to eat. I eat the stuff I like, not the stuff I should and I wasn't really thinking about getting a fill for a few weeks, until life becomes routine and I adjust to my new normal...I do my best to eat Protein and drink Water. Other than that, I have a different scale and don't belong to the same gym as before--so no measurements and no trainer now. Just me....it'll be there for when I'm ready. Until then, I'll be there tomorrow night! Tiny, you were there today AND are going back tomorrow, too? Dedicated woman!

Heidi, It's like anything else in life..you have to learn to live with it and get to know yourself with it. It will get easier, but it won't make the desire (and for some of us--NEED) to eat disappear. Get your next fill. I had 3 before feeling like it made a difference. Good luck! Stay on here...the people on this site and in my support group have kept my head above water when I most felt like drowning would be easier. Stay with it. You'll get there. We all gain a few pounds here and there.... :tongue2:

I bought mine on E-bay last year by a company that actually comes to your house to service it should there ever be any issues. I loved mine, but had to buy a rather heavy duty one because I weighed over 300 pounds when I first got it. I used mine 5-7 days a week for the first few months after surgery, but like everyone else, I used it less as I felt more comfortable working out in public. I needed to add weight resistance to my workouts, too. My suggestion? Look on Craigslist.com to find one that someone else is selling. I just sold mine last month for only $600. because I moved to a complex that has a gym. Buy one that's used. Don't buy one full price if you're not sure you'll use it. Good luck! I loved mine, but I use one in public now.....

It's funny, because I've called always during business hours, but different days, different times. I figure it's a copay, but I've always paid mine. They finally returned my call today, but to show you how little they listen, they called me on my number they have on file, not the number I left on my messages. (I left a message a day for 7 days to be sure they'd finally call me back) Then, I called Jennifer and left her a message to double check. It's only $10, but I don't want to pay twice!! How are you all doing?

Stephanie, Thank you. I knew by moving I would not only be alone, but also moving away from a man who has been my best friend and rock through the most challenging times of my life. I guess I overestimated my strength and am having a bad night. I haven't slept since Saturday for more than a few hours. I'm overtired, stressed out, and just not feeling myself. I'm going to visit my mom this weekend. Somehow, everything seems ok with mom around.:thumbup:

I'm sad to admit I have nothing to report. I have moved out on my own for the first time ever. I have waited for 2.5 years for my BF to commit with a ring and finally acknowledged that it just isn't going to happen. I'm not so sure I like being alone and I've spent most nights eating everything I'm not supposed to even have in the house. I haven't had a fill since May, but I don't know if I even need one. I'm at an unusual place in that I'm not feeling like my upbeat, positive self. I worked out yesterday for the first time since moving, so that was a little victory for me. New situations are tremendously stressful for me. I have given myself until next week to feel what I need to feel, deal however I need, then move on and get back on track. I thought moving now would make the holidays better, but I'm starting to wonder if I've made a mistake......I haven't gained, but I haven't lost since June. I'm still losing inches according to my trainer.... So.....I'm here for support because while I'm good at providing it, I'm not so good at asking for it. I have some food intolerances and I don't eat regularly, so sometimes I can't eat at all (if I've waited too long) but other times I can definitely eat more than I'm supposed to. I am thinking I'll get a fill sometime around the end of November, when I'm back on track and ready to work with my band the way I should.....

Have any of you ever received bills from BWH? I got one almost a month now. I've left like 15 messages on the voicemail but have never received a call back or even reached a live person. I just don't know what the $10 bill is for. It's not about the money so much as it is I'd like them to tell me why I have a bill. Any suggestions? IS there a better way to get in touch with the billing department???

Bad news--I'm almost 11 months out from surgery and yet I continue to do that to myself. I have an issue with not stopping eating. Let's face it--the band hasn't worked on my head. I'm a work in progress, and I expect you are too. Do your best to eat only until you're no longer hungry, not full. (Odd concept for me as a fat person!) It will get easier as long as you listen to your body. Move around and your body will move the food along. Just don't drink. That will either wash it back at you or exacerbate the feeling. Good luck. Feel better.

I'm flattered, though I'm not sure it's "courage" so much as it is desperation. I'm in my upper 30's and still unmarried without children. I don't have a whole lot of fertile years remaining. I'm not sure I want kids, but I also don't want someone to slam that door on me, without ever having a chance. My boyfriend is/was wonderful. He was a huge cheerleader for me when I had surgery and encouraged me to follow my heart. I know he will make some woman very happy. With that said, it won't be me. I know that. He has 2 other huge priorities in his life: 2 kids and 2 very needy parents. He's allowed his parents to be needy and encouraged them to be dependent. I know his mother isn't a fan of me as she's let it be known. (Just for the record, I've had a million moms offer to set me up with their sons, so it's not ME....she's a Russian Jew mother. I don't mean to stereotype, but I will never be the #1 woman in his life.) I need to feel like I'm #1 and that my needs can come first. That will never be with him. I love him. I truly do, but I have to love myself more. I've worked so hard to be where I am in life--professionally, personally, etc. I can't let this go. I want a big wedding. I want to have the chance at a family of my own. So....I don't think it's courage, so much as it is desperation. I've felt like a square peg trying to fit into a circular hole for far too long. I'm looking to find where I truly belong. We all deserve to be happy. You'll get there. You're moving in the right direction!

Thank you! Moving Day wasn't too bad as the furniture delivery was between 6:30 and 8:30 AM, so I had to get up by 5:30 to pack up and leave, while my now ex was still sleeping. He woke up to say goodbye, but I stayed away from the whole emotional thing. Tonight is my first real night alone. I'm watching tv and bored and thinking it's time to get back to working out at night. Thankfully, my apartment complex has an amazing gym. I'll just have to make my way up to it now! Looks like I'm going to be better off than expected. I'm learning to embrace my new reality, my new start. In one more week, all of the furniture will have arrived and it will start to feel like home. If only I can get some sleep now......

I had a saleswoman (who thought she was being helpful) tell me I wouldn't find what I wanted because I was in the wrong department--the misses sizes were downstairs. THIS, she said, is for large people...LOL I haven't lost in a while, but I've had some major life changes going on. It's no excuse, but I haven't gained and I'm maintaining where I am. I know the band will be there when I'm ready to work with it again. Pre-banding, I would have stayed with a man who didn't make me happy. This is my first week in my new apartment, living alone for the first time in my life. I'm finally in control of my life. I love it. :thumbup: Congrats to all of you who seem to be doing so well!

Congrats on the big 2-0, Heidi! As far as the fill goes, I didn't feel true restriction until after 3 fills. It takes a while. Schedule your next fill in 4 weeks from the first. I assure you that you'll be ready. Also, remember that liquids are never intended to make you feel full. Wait until you're back on solids and you might feel a difference. If you're full with only liquids, you're probably too tight. :tongue: Good luck. Keep up the great work!

Are you all planning on going to the support group meeting on the 18th at the Brigham or the 10th at the Faulkner? I don't think I can make it on the 10th as I have to work late. Anyone care to join me at the Brigham?? Hope to see you all there!!

I found shopping to outfit my new place has been the best thing to occupy my time. I also never considered how close my friends live to my new place. I barely finished putting my hanging clothes in the closet when a few of my friends showed up to take me to Breakfast. I guess I'm ready for a fill. I'm here. I'm moved in. I have my 50 inch plasma. I'm ready to get back on the horse and battle this weight...... Thanks for all of your suggestions! I appreciate the support.

So I guess this is when the true panic sets in. I no longer have food to be my constant companion in life--even trying to overeat won't work for me. I'm only a few days from moving (Nov. 1st) and this isn't getting easier. I was hoping after making it through a hurricane in Aruba (everything says it's "outside of the hurricane belt"....) that maybe I'd realize we truly weren't meant to be together. (I took some pics and will post as soon as I can get him to download them onto the computer!) Tonight he told me he actually believes I have someone else. Are YA kidding me?! He decided because of the way I talk about an ex--who happens to be one of my closest friends--and the fact that I'm no longer making sexual advances, I must be getting it elsewhere. HELLO?? He's chosen not to make me a permanent fixture in his life, but allowing me to walk away after almost 3 years, and he wonders why we're not having sex? Wow. I thought I was the blonde in this relationship..... I think I'm actually going to make a few phone calls and see about going to counseling. Clearly I need to find other coping mechanisms as I'm sore from working out too much (since I can't over eat!) and I'm overtired from not sleeping. I'm just rambling because it's nearly 3 AM and I'm so overwhelmed....... I have everything all set--furniture being delivered on Saturday and my stuff is discreetly packed, hoping not to offend him as I get ready to go. I thought staying and being unhappy was bad enough, but I now realize facing my feelings about all of this is far harder than I imagined. I'm tired. I'm stressed, and boy, I sure could go for some pancakes!! How in the world do I re-enter the dating scene???? How do you explain getting stuck to someone you're out with? What kinds of things do you do on dates to avoid mealtime?! I think every date I've ever been on included food......ugh. Hope you're all having a good week. Next week will be a different life for me.......

We missed you, Tova, but you did mention to us at the last meeting that you wouldn't be there. No one else from the last meeting was there, either. Did we scare them off?! I think that one woman may be traveling in Scotland and Dale may have been scheduled to have his surgery..... Looking forward to seeing you in a month! It's always great to have people with experience to join us! :eek:

Amy, It's so nice to add people to the group who have more experience than we do!! I'm so glad you came. Are you headed for a fill soon? I'm waiting until after I move, but I think I'm ready..... Katie, Was great to finally meet you face to face. The support group meetings are the one thing that really helped me with the psychological aspects of weight loss. I know it wasn't easy to make it to the meeting and have someone watch the kids! I hope you're glad you came. See you both next month! :grouphug:

Am headed to the gym now and hoping to make it there on time. I'll apologize in advance if I don't get to shower.... :biggrin:

Thanks, Skini!:eek: I honestly don't know how he feels. He treats me like a best friend, with respect and kindness. He's just a great guy. But, with that said, I certainly know it's possible to love without being in love. Our relationship is without passion most of the time, but that could also be due to my telling him I'm leaving. I think even the strongest of people prepare themselves emotionally by pulling back... On that note, I've been looking at a few apartment complexes and am trying to stay focused on the excitement of moving, buying furniture, etc. For the first time I finally get to choose what I like.....I've been saving money for the past year (presumably for a little nip/tuck) but I don't need that yet and will buy everything and anything my heart desires to decorate my new place and make it my home. We leave for Aruba early Saturday morning. I think it's going to be hard for us to go to a place where we've traveled in the past when things were different between us, but I'm keeping an open mind. I'm just so excited to hit the beach for the next 5 days! Thanks for your encouragement. Rather than being unnerved by this thing as the date to leave nears, I'm actually feeling less overwhelmed. That's definitely a good sign.

Oh, ain't THAT the truth......