Enicar

I was chubby my whole life, and I found myself at an unbelievable weight of 265 in 2008.  Even with a broad 6' frame, that weight looked just plain obese. I was unhappy, size 18 and unable to physically do some active stuff without it hurting my joints a bit.  I was experiencing asthma and started to snore a bit, and it all left me humiliated and ashamed of my physical self.  I felt acutely aware that fat people can be treated as second class citizens. 
I started at the gym every day, and lost a decent amount of weight. I got to 195 but I plateaud for a while.  A vegetarian for 30+ years, I was eating carbs & fat but not much lean protein, so there was no way I was going to budge much further.  I went ahead and signed up for my first triathlon, and struggled through the training alone until I completed the race, with pretty good results. 
I realized that my partner had no interest in joining me to get more fit and enjoy life in a different, improved way, so I ended the relationship.  It was a low point in life, and the truth is that I lost another 30 pounds in a very unconventional, bad way.  I started smoking, stopped eating completely, and the weight loss plus nicotine made my energy level skyrocket.  I needed very little sleep, could accomplish lots, and felt awesome.  I felt truly alive for the first time and reached 165 (size 10), the thinnest I had ever been.  I was tan from surfing, meeting people, having a great time and being accepted as a thin person.  I met the man I would marry during this time, and he was 50 pounds along in his weight loss, too.  I helped him lose another 50 through training, and we embarked on an awesome fitness lifestyle journey together.  We cycle, ice climb, triathlon and weight train together. 
But my unorthodox method of weight loss came back to bite me, and when I quit smoking and started to eat solid food again after I met my husband, the weight crept on.  It was so strange- about a pound a week.  I thought, "Well, I'll just train harder, because I'm only eating about 1000 als of healthy stuff daily."  I added hot yoga, T25 and  other exercise programs to daily training, but the weight gradually added up by 2-3 pounds a month on average.  I was working out like crazy and I went to countless doctors and spent thousands on trying to figure out why.  I reduced to 800 calories a day, eating a few protein bars and drinking coffee. I continued to gain.  After I had gained back 50 of the 100 pounds I lost on my own, I went to a bariatric doc.  He said at my 29 BMI I wasn't heavy enough, but that he had seen this over and over again.  He said, "You gave yourself the equivalent of a gastric surgery through starving yourself.  Now your body wants that weight back.  It will fight you for the rest of your life to have that weight back. You have to eat only lean protein and vegetable for the rest of your life.  You cannot eat what everyone else is eating once you have been at a 30 BMI or so.  It just seems to be this way, I'm sorry.  You just have to accept that."
 
So I did.  I struggled with 700-800 cals a day on lean protein and veg, but it was nearly impossible, and I reached the 30 BMI necessary for plication.  I paid out of pocket- every cent.  I lost 20 around the tim eof the surgery. I've got another ~30 lbs to go, and I'm 6 wks post surgery, but I know it is an every day battle.  It was always be for me.  The folks who have never been obese don't know that formerly obese people cannot eat as much and have to literally ration food carefully.  I stopped listening to general advice that 1200 cals a day is what we should all be consuming.  It isn't right for me.  What *is* right for me is a diet that leaves me hungry most of the time, and a diet that doesn't let me enjoy cheats like frozen yogurt or veggie chips.  I will put weight right back on, rapidly.  For me, it is a miserable food existence, BUT there is a flip side to that: the rest of my existence is one where I can run five miles easily, look amazing in clothes, run  up the stairs without being out of breath, be accepted in business settings *before* they know the quality of my work, feel confident about going to reunions or events that put me out in a public forum where I can't hide.  Not enjoying food /eating just to stay alive is a price to pay, but when I looked at the cumulative experience, I decided I could afford to do it this way.  I'm happy to have the chance to try, every single day.  :)