lapband78

Good luck on your new journey and no you didn't fail the band. The band failed you.

awww how sweet, thank you I thought nobody was reading and I was only blogging for my self Thank you for your kind words Good luck on your journey

I've now had the lap band for almost 4 months. I've learned a lot through these 4 months. I've lost about 27 pounds in these 4 months and I'm happy about that, actually very happy about that. Summer has been difficult. I've been naughty when it has come to food. I've had ice cream, cakes and lots of other stuff. But the difference between this summer and the summer last year is that I eat like a normal person. I don't sit with the box of ice cream and finish it in 1 evening. My portions are small. What I've learned also that at a dinner table, I have to stand up as soon as I finish my meal. I can sit and chat with the people if there is still some food on the table. I have also stopped going to the canteen with my co workers. After a few "stuck" and Productive burping, it became too much. Once I had to throw all of my food in the garbage because I just couldn't get it down. I talked to the chef and I am now able to take some food with me to my office and eat there. Where it's quiet and I can do it in my own speed. No more breakfast for me. Now I eat lunch, something when I get home from work between 4-5 and then dinner at 8 latest. That routine is going really well for me. I can eat almost everything. I can have pizza and tortilla. I have not tried regular bread yet but since I'm going to travel to the Mediterranean this week, I might have to try some since it might get difficult to control what you can eat, what's available. But I'm going to try my best to avoid bread. Might toast it if I can so that the texture wont be as soft. Even though I have the productive burping very often, like almost once a day, I've learned to live with it. When I get it, I stop eating for a while, maybe 5 minutes and then continue with even smaller bite. I still love my lab band, I would do it all over again even with all the information I have now and some bad episodes. 27 pounds in 4 months, I think it's amazing. My doctor likes the speed. Says it's a normal speed, not too slow and not to fast. Very good for the skin to heal from being BIG. I've still got a long way to go. But this journey has been easier than I thought it would be, yes I said it, really it has. But it has some ups and down and I know there will be a lot of downs before everything becomes perfect. But as long as I'm loosing weight, I'm happy. Last time I was at this weight was 3 years ago, I gained much weight last years since I went through some difficult time. But now I reached a milestone that I was looking forward to very much. My next milestone is 27 pound more, that means I will not be eligible for gastric bypass anymore. And that's something to celebrate!

In Iceland we are big on traditions, at least my family. Ok probably all countries have their traditions. On Christmas, we always have this special drink, it's Orange Soda (kinda like Fanta) mixed with a Malt drink (non alcoholic) Both are carbonated. I love this drink. I could drink liters of it every day for Christmas, and well yes Easter as well. But lap band doesn't allow carbonated drinks. I tried one glass of it last weekend and I didn't feel that good. I had nausea that didn't go away until I let out a huge burp 3-4 hours later! How am I going to survive without that drink??? But I will I know I will. I will just find something really good instead. I tried a hot apple cider the other day that I made myself. It was seriously good but full of calories. I'm going to make that drink for Christmas as a special occasion. Then we LOVE our smoked meat. I love it as well. My fave meat actually. Nope, can't eat it. Had it last weekend as well (dads bday) and I had problems with lunch all week. I could get some down and wasn't hungry but I had Productive Burping every day and I had to deliver some in the toilet. And I was at work! OMG but I eat by my desk so that I can eat at my own speed and not worry about other people. I think this week has mentally been the most difficult since I went off liquid diet at the beginning. The smoked meat gave be lots of edema and I can't follow food tradition anymore. But I saw the weight go down anyway! 0.4 pounds or 200 grams. Not a lot but with edema, it is something. It made me happy, yes that tiny weight loss did everything for me. I'm always learning, maybe a slow learner and I do the same mistake twice or ok three times haha, but I have to avoid smoked food and salt. If I do have those things, I have to suck it up and well feel bad for a week. Is it worth it? nope not worth it. I even thought while this was going on, if I regretted the lap band, but nope, still love it. I can survive the productive burping, the slime and the fluid. I already feel overall better in my body. My underwear is even too big now! gosh haha, what a lovely feeling. Ok very bad for my bank account but it feels so good that my panties are about to slide down by itself if you get what I mean And today I saw that I have a follower on my blog a woman who had the surgery at the same time I did and my blog is helping her. I saw her comment 1 month late. But wow that made me happy. I always thought I was just blogging for myself. Talking about my failures and how my mind works through all this. I'm glad someone like my blog For those who don't know what edema is, it is excessive fluid in our body. Your face is like a balloon when you wake up and your fingers are like sausages. When you touch your skin, it doesn't feel like your own body, feels like jelly in there. Then the longer you are awake, then the fluid goes from your upper body and to your feet. But that doesn't bother me as much as when it's in my face, fingers and around the band.

Today I had my third fill since my surgery on May 8th. I have now got about 6.1 ml/cc in the band. The fill was painful!! The nurse was stuck the needle in and was moving the needle inside of me to find the port opening. She told me to push my body like I was doing a push up and I had to hold that position for 5 min to keep the port still. OMG it was painful!! I asked for a break because it was starting to hurt really bad where she had the needle. By then the doctor noticed that something was wrong and came to me. He took a new needle and stuck it in (omg it hurt because I was so sore) and found the port after like 30 sec. He then told me that the port is lying with the opening at the side. Ok sorry for the language but F*** that S*** sorry, but it hurt, really hurt. And now I'm really sore and have a blue mark. I kept thinking, where is that X-ray machine some doctors use when making that fill! Seriously ugh. I like my doctor but I don't like pain. I'm gonna remember this next time and tell them that the port is sideways. I might even opt for an operation to fix it. But let's see what happens. Anyway, I'm slightly under the curve for the weight loss. I'm 31 pounds down since May 8th. Trust me, I'm happy! really happy. I haven't had this weight for YEARS! but I'm disappointed in myself for not staying on the curve. But my doctor and I blame it on my trip to Spain where I didn't stay on a health diet. I'm going to prove to myself that I can be on the curve in the beginning of December. He said I'd be there in January but I'm putting some pressure on myself now. I admit that the two weeks since I went on the vacation have been really difficult mentally. I was so sick on the vacation and soon after I got home, I was laying in bed for 3 days. My throat hurt really bad and well ice cream helped a LOT. Felt like when I had my tonsils removed. And trust me, ice cream does not help with weight loss haha. Don't judge though and think I'm not ready for this battle. I had a relapse. I did loose weight through this period, just not enough weight. I am now on the straight and narrow and back on track. I think you learn from a relapse. Being sick isn't a good thing and you seek things that make you feel good. I have been mentally ill as well a few years back. People were either getting sick or dying around me. I took it hard and had depression. I gained a LOT of weight. But I have learned from that experience. I know the warning signs. Food will not be my friend like that again. Now I have learned about physical illness and food can't be my friend there either. I will not allow it. Weight loss is a battle. You might think you have it all, you had a surgery, you are mentally ready for this, physically ready but what makes you stronger is if you can stand up again when you fall down. That will make you stronger in this weight loss battle. But 31 pound is something to be proud of and I'm going to remember all the milestones and reach for the next one. I can't wait!

Ok so it's been a while since I last blogged but a lot has been going on. I'm from Iceland. An island way up north. So I just came back from travelling to Spain, a Mediterranean country and let me tell you, things there are different from what I'm used to. I've been to Spain 3 times before and never thought that much about food. I just ate what ever and loved it. But having the lap band is more difficult. The town I was staying at didn't have that many restaurants but when I went to them, they carried BREAD BREAD BREAD. They loved serving bread or huge dishes! I love tabas mmmm but it's served on bread, thick slices of bread. I can only eat thin slices. So when out eating, I ended up eating fries, omelette and lasange. But only found one restaurant carrying lasagne. But I tried cooking at home as well, so I wouldn't starve and didn't really want omelette or fries for every meal. The temperature! Gosh it was HOT. That mean that my polar body was swollen ever day with extra fluid and that also meant that my stomach opening was a lot smaller. I had to make a lot of trips to the bathroom spit out food that got stuck in the opening. The Productive burping was terrible! No matter what I ate. My worst case was a tomato!! Hello!! A tomato, a very well chewed tomato! I just had terrible time with it. That's why I was afraid to eat what ever was on the menu. But fries, I know they are deep fried and not that healthy, but I could chew them into baby food! What does a hot woman need in a hot weather??? ice cream. mmmm love some good ice cream. And I had a lot of it. It was a guilty pleasure. But it was so good in the hot weather. Alcohol. I was very very careful with that. I wanted a cold beer very badly but I stuck to cocktails with no carbonated liquids in it and yes that was just fine. And never got drunk or tipsy or what ever. Did not want to add hangover and throwing up to the PB!! I even at once point thought that it would be best to finish the trip off by eating only chocolate and ice cream because that went down very well haha. Also the company I was with. They were so nice and understanding but I was giving myself hard time for making them wait for me while I ate really really really slowly. We could never eat anywhere in hurry, ever. I came with a solution though, I sometimes grabbed a banana because that's easy to eat on a go. Now at home, I'm still swollen from the travel but I couldn't wait stepping on the scale and no weight gain!! to my surprise! I'll see how it went after my body has adjusted after the travel. I have to tell you though that for the first time in my life, I had lots of left overs at the restaurants I ate at. I felt like apologizing for it to the waiters, for not finishing my food. I've always finished everything at a restaurant but I was very careful, even though the portions were big, that I would only eat until I was satisfied (not full) and I'm proud of that. Overall, I did enjoy my trip very much and Spain is a fantastic country. And I've always enjoyed the food there before the lap band. But this was a difficult trip food wise and not that healthy I'm glad it didn't set me back tough. I'm happy to be home and on Monday hopefully my body has recovered and that I will not have any extra fluid.

I saw my doctor/Surgeon yesterday for my third visit after the lap band. I was supposed to have my 3rd fill but he decided against it because he was so happy with how I'm doing yay On average I'm loosing ca 0,800 grams or 1.7 pounds a week and he said I was on the speed that her prefers the most. I'm so happy. I was so nervous since I wanted to loose more before my visit and usually when I'm on extreme diets, the weight goes down faster than this, but then again, I've never lasted more than 4 months on Extreme diets. Lap band is not a diet but a lifestyle, so I'm extremely happy I had also been thinking that I didn't want another fill yet. I have had a few "stuck" episodes and I have problems eating when I wake up. I think that my band is balanced now and I know when, how and what I can eat. I also talked about me eating to fast sometimes and that I am afraid of band slippage. He told me not to worry about that too much. The band was stuck where it is. But I should eat slowly and practice doing that. But that I wont damage anything. Even though I have a PB or I have a "stuck" episode, I shouldn't worry about damaging anything. I also talked to him about me going abroad on a plane and what I should do, that I was worried I would gain weight. He told me to relax and he would see me again after the trip because he doesn't want to make any changes before the trip, in case I feel bad after it. He also told me not to eat on the plane, only fluids. It's a 4 hour flight so I think I will be able to manage but good to know though. Today at work we had pork for lunch. I felt it a bit dry after the first bite and it felt like it wasn't going through very well. I stopped eating the pork and ate the potato, veggies and some cottage cheese. I never threw out food before the lap band. I always finished everything on my plate. So this is a very new thing, not finishing everything on my plate. I'm becoming a food snob! haha, yes I my stomach is not a trash can anymore. Only gets A+ food Happy girl today

I spend a LOT of time to think about my new life. I crossed the big 20 pounds weight loss since the Lap band surgery yay. Very happy about that. And I got my third fill on August 5th. I'm going to talk to my doctor about the edema problem I had. I don't know if I want to or can experience it again. Maybe he will give me some meds for that in case it happens again. I stole a tablet from my mom. I hope he won't see it as an excuse to loose weight faster or something. I guess he's heard it all.. oh dear. Anyway, last night when I just turned of the lights in bed, I was thinking about what's going on and the best feeling is to feel good when going to bed. Not full and not hungry, just good. That did not happen before. I was usually hungry or just stuffed my mouth with something and was full. It feels nice to yeah feel good haha. I've also spent some time reading messageboards from all over the internet about WLS questions. Where people ask questions and explain they are not ready about this and that change. I can tell you that a person that has a WLS surgery is someone who has tried it all! And most likely couldn't manage because they were not ready or it was too difficult. At least that was me. I'm a food addict or a foodaholic as I call it. Love eating. But the Lap band has given me something that I didn't think it would do. I enjoy food a lot more now than before. I am now forced to eat slow, slooooooooow so yeah I get to enjoy the taste longer. I also don't bother eating food I don't like anymore. And at dinner when there are lots of stuff on the table, meat, veggies, potatoes, I have begun to pick the food I really like. We don't get to eat that much now, so why bother with food that we don't love?? But bred. I'm noticing how much I love bread. I didn't know that we shouldn't eat bread before the lap band and you can imagine the shock I had when I heard I couldn't !! I still haven't gotten over that. But I can have a tortilla and thin crusted pizza. I have no problem with that so I guess I can eat bread. BUT I don't want to open that can of worms because who knows what will happen after the next fill. Maybe I won't be able to eat any of it, no pizza (omg!) and no tortilla. But I'm glad I didn't know about the bread thing because I seriously don't know if I had gone through with the lap band. But today I love my lap band and I hope I can keep it for the rest of my life

I also want to mention why I don't tell people. I had a lap band. That means that you will not loose weight as quickly as other WLS. I don't want people to have high expectations of how I will loose weight and how quickly. Also I don't want people to judge what I eat and how I eat. I think that if you tell everyone that you had a WLS they will be looking at your every move. This is my journey

I told my boss because I had to get a sick leave. My closest friends at work and my siblings and parents. I don't think I'll tell anyone else, at least not until I've reached my goal. People ask me what I'm doing and I tell them that I had some stomach problems (I had it for real) and decided to change my eating habits. Chew food well so my stomach could better digest the food and eat smaller portions. Everyone seems to accept that explanation. I've got a lap band so I was only off from work for 1 week. It old everyone I was going on holiday.

I found out that Smirnoff Ice is sparkly at least in Europe. Good thing that I'm not a huge drinker. Sometimes months go between me having a glass of alcohol.

Ok I need to eat! I am so hungry! But the food just gets stuck and doesn't go through.. some of it does but most of it doesn't. So today I took one edema tablet to help with the edema. And omg, I'm constantly going to the bathroom! I counted 5 times within one hour! (and I'm at work haha) I normally don't take water releasing tablets but now I just had to. I am excited and nervous to see how my lunch will go. I'm going to eat something soft and see if it passes. If not, then I'm going to call my doctor to find out what might wrong. But I'm almost sure it's edema, lots of extra fluid that makes everything tighter. Crossing my fingers! PS: So good to blog about this so that I can go back to this message and read about my experiences and remember not to eat smoked or salty food again!! never ever!!

Since Wednesday (it's Monday today) I've had huge problem eating! Everything gets stuck!! (I'm hammering the keyboard) It took me an hour to eat my scrambled eggs with mushrooms and sausage, very well chewed, for lunch. And the portion was just the size of a cup. It has never got stuck before today. Tonight, I'm eating high quality meat, sauce, boiled veggies and omg it felt like I was having a heart attack! And it all came up again. I'm going to take a LOT smaller bites and see if it helps, and chew chew chew. I think it might be because I am having some edema right now and it might cause swelling where the band is. I was eating some smoked meat on Tuesday and leftovers on Wednesday. And then travelling this weekend, I haven't really gotten rid of the edema. So I guess that means smoked meat is of the table for me. I love it sooooo much, but NOT worth it!