rorysmom

i read your blog, and i've seen your before/after pictures. you look awesome! congratulations on a great outcome, due to all your hard work. edited to update name. duh.

gah, even more duh. i just saw you in the pictures thread. ok, now i'm starting to sound stalkerish. :help:

i don't know how good the book is, but martha beck's article about it in the january issue (i think) of oprah magazine is good. one of the key things i took away from the article is that when many of us overeat, it is to nuture ourselves in some way. not a "new" concept to me. but i had been compartmentalizing it a bit more than that. for instance, it would be because i am anxious or tired or cranky, etc. but if i view my desire to overeat--or more likely to eat something unhealthy--as a way to nurture myself (care for myself) in that moment, i can jar myself into acting more appropriately or accurately on that basic need to calm/love/accept/remove myself from a stressful situation in that moment. hey, every little self-realization helps. [ame=http://www.amazon.com/Four-Day-Win-Achieve-Thinner/dp/1594866074/sr=8-2/qid=1165963465/ref=pd_bbs_sr_2/104-7410046-6394365?ie=UTF8&s=books]Amazon.com: The Four Day Win: End Your Diet War and Achieve Thinner Peace: Martha Beck: Books[/ame]

you're welcome.

ok, there is another article in o to complement this one. it is about dopamine and changing habits. basically, when we do something that gives us pleasure, it releases dopamine. and every subsequent time we do it, the dopamine release is stronger. pretty soon, anything even vaguely associated to the pleasurable activity can trigger the dopamine urge to do the activity. the example in the article was eating mcdonald's french fries. the first time you eat them and love them, dopamine is released. and so your brain wants to eat them again for that dopamine release. pretty soon the dopamine release from eating french fries is so strong that just seeing the mcdonald's colors (red and yellow) is enough to make you want french fries. so they recommend changing that urge out for another, just as pleasurable urge. nothing new there. but they say to make the reward instant and large. not waiting for 5 days of consecutive exercise to get a new outfit; give yourself something good after that first day of exercise. and in addition, to manage stress. because there is some frontal-lobe issue, that i forget at the moment, that makes it much harder to switch out the french fry urge with a better alternative when you feel stressed. which brings us, in part, back to the nurture article! ok, i'm through!!

this story was on the cbs evening news tonight. http://www.cbsnews.com/stories/2006/11/28/eveningnews/main2213339.shtml

EVERS123P My heart goes out to you and your daughter. I was an overweight child too. Some physical things you might consider: <O:p Be active with her. Have fun moving your body with her. Get a Frisbee. Get a ball and catcher’s mitt. Get a hackey-sack. Dance to some songs she likes and then to some you like. J Every minute she spends being active is one less minute she fills with mindless eating. One less minute she spends obsessing over her size. One more minute she feels being in control of herself. And with her already being involved in sports, she knows activity is fun! <O:p Make nutritious meals. Most of her eating is probably what you make, right? So make sure that those meals are as tasty and healthy as they can be. Involve her in the preparation so that she can see how easy it can be to make good, wholesome food. <O:p Buy mostly nutritious Snacks. I also don’t believe in throwing everything out. But do throw most of it out. Find as many substitutions as possible. Crystal Light for soda. Baked pita chips for potato chips. Help her read labels. And then save the unhealthy stuff for those few and far between, honest to goodness, cravings. <O:p Make it crystal clear that the whole family is changing their eating habits because it is the healthy thing to do. Not because one or two of you need to lose weight. EVERYONE should eat a healthy diet. <O:p Get her involved in activities that don’t focus on her body. And get her into volunteering so that she is not so inwardly focused. <O:p One emotional talk they could have given me would have been: <O:p Sit me down and say, “I love you just as you are. But I know that you don’t love yourself too much right now. And that’s because your weight is bothering you. Ok, I understand that. Being overweight is tough. So let’s turn it around. Let’s put our heads together and think of ways to help the whole family eat healthier and be more active. I have dropped the ball by not cooking healthy meals, by allowing too much unhealthy food in the house, by not protecting you from other family members’ negative talk, by not setting a good example, whatever. But I am on board now. I am totally committed to you being healthy. So I will do what I need to as a parent. And that means providing you with support: constantly promoting healthy eating, spending time talking with you, getting you thoroughly tested, helping you understand consequences, etc. But, let me tell you… being a teenager is a tough time. You will run across insecure people who will make themselves feel better by making you feel bad. Understand that this is what’s happening when they make fun of you. If they were really happy with themselves, do you think they’d spend so much time thinking about ways to hurt you? No, they’d be doing their own thing. But if you feel like your school situation is just too far gone, let’s talk about it and see what our other options are. Come and talk to me anytime about anything. Finally, help her to understand that bodies are different. Plain and simple. And that, although it is terribly unfair, some people can eat lots of junk and still be slim and look healthy. But that ain't you! And it ain't me! Heck it isn't most people. You work with and love the body that God gave you. You may never be as small as your friends. But you can be your healthiest, fittest, trimmest self.

i know that getting the fill exactly right is the key to great restriction and a great band experience. how often do you/can you go to your docs to adjust fills and discuss fill problems? thanks.

so do you have good restriction? feel like the band is working at optimum? or are you still testing levels?

bettina, it looks like the doc overfilled: 2.5 cc. but when she went back, she got even more unfilled: 1.5cc instead of the 2.0cc she was at before. so she's at a deficit right now. the vexing thing is, even if she were eating the right foods 100% of the time, she can still consume more than she should if she had good restriction. from reading the boards, i know that finding the right restriction is tough. but her situation is like lady splenda's in that her mom has had a band for a while and has lost a lot of weight. and even when her mom (my aunt) is trying to be the most postive and encouraging that she can, i'm sure my cousin still feels that her mom is comparing herself to her--committment, choices, etc. NOT TO SAY THAT THIS IS WHAT LADY SPLENDA IS DOING. i'm just comparing the complex mother/daughter dynamic.

my cousin is not losing much either. we can't tell if she's having band problems (leaks in band or tube) or if the fill is not right. she's not eating lots of soft, high calorie foods. but she can eat more than one would want to if they had a band. now this past week, i learn that she was too tight after her last fill and was throwing up all night. so doesn't that mean she doesn't have a leak??? her weight has gone up and down. true, she has lost more than she would have otherwise. but she wanted the band to lose much more. she's going back in two weeks for a closer look and maybe another fill. i can't tell just how much she is discouraged because i don't want to invade feelings, but i know it must bother her.

thanks everyone for sharing! i will relay all of this to my cousin. it does seem like she eats less within a certain time frame (even if it is still at the same meal time), but the band isn't helping her to feel full enough or to stop her from eating too often. wanttobethin1, do i have a band? no. am i overweight? depends on the day. ha! seriously though, i have about 6 - 8 pounds to lose to make it to my goal weight range. however, the Never Too Thin Society (NTTS) would probably bump that up to 12 - 15 pounds. still even at goal weight, i am a "meaty" person with muscular thighs and a higher than expected weight that makes me feel always not quite there. i'm slowly releasing that though.

hi there, my cousin's lap band is about 8 weeks old. it's a 4 cc that is 2.5 cc's full, and her restriction is iffy to non-existent! for instance, this weekend, she was able to eat two hot dogs, with bun, in one sitting! she's still working on her eating habits (she's 23); but i think she doesn't quite have faith in the band yet either. and with it being more than 1/2 full, i can't blame her! she's going in for a visit next week, and they will ask to check for leaks and an overly large stomach pouch. other than these problems, can you think of anything else to check for? also, who has experience with iffy to little restriction with a band that is more than 1/2 full? can you share your experiences? how much more did it take to get you to proper restriction? thanks.

thanks new sho. i was wondering if more than half filled is not as big as it sounds. iwanttobethin1, they do it under sonogram. i guess that would detect a leak too? my counsin has about 150 pounds to lose. thanks.

who saw the new episode of what not to wear last night? the makeover lady had been thin until having a baby. she's larger now and still trying to lose the weight. but her baby is now 4 years old!!! and the one thing stacy/clinton were trying to get her to understand about how wearing all those baggy, dumpy clothes was affecteing her was that if you don't love yourself and at least accept the shape of your body as it is now, you will never be able to see yourself as you really are and then have the spark in you to get to the size you want to be. by the end of the show, she'd gotten it. have y'all had that experience yet?

mousecrazy, i love that! i'm changing the focus of my health to be from the inside out. holistic health. we'll see how far i delve into it. but body acceptance is pretty high on the list. for so long i've focused on my health from the outside in--because my insides are already very healthy. but i've been doing myself and my psyche a huge disservce by seeing myself as body parts instead of as the "fearfully and wonderfully made" by God human being that i am.

on a recent edition of 20/20, they busted some myths and lies about the body. one was that overweight people are overweight in part because they have a lower basal metabolic rate than leaner people. this is a myth, they said, because the larger you are, the higher your BMR is. period. but what they did find, in study after study, is that lean people move around an average of 2.5 hours more per day than overweight people. not exercising, per se, just moving! once upon a time, i knew this, but i wasn't doing it. so often i'd get in a good hour of exercise and then pretty much be besedentary the rest of the day. couch potato-itis. :scared: but this report prompted me to pull out my step-no risers-and just step up and down while watching t.v. i'm shooting for two hours every day of extra activity like this. i can already tell it is working. it is helping the jeans to fit looser, and it is also helping me to be aware of just moving more--which i think is just as important.

2 packages lean ground turkey (3 grams fat or so) 2 cans vegetarian refried Beans (0 fat grams) 1 block of spinach 1 taco seasoning mix package 1/2 of 8oz can of tomato sauce seasonings as you like microwave the spinach for 3 minutes or so. brown the ground turkey. break it up really well into taco meat mush. don't drain. add everything to the ground turkey and stir well. let simmer for about 20 - 30 minutes. this makes lots of servings, and it is pure Protein and veggies. so, so tasty. let us know if you try it!! ETA: Mpvo8961, we were thinking the same.

**small disclaimer--i'm PMSing** to those of you who aren't familiar with me, let me introduce myself. i do not have a lap band. came here originally to get info for my aunt who was initially going to have GB. i told her about the lap band, and the rest is history. great history! now her daughter just got one. i feel a connection to this site because i feel that i struggle with my weight just as y'all do. i lost a whole lot of weight in the past, but now i sit about 10 pounds away from goal--AGAIN. it is stressful and emotionally exhausting at times. sometimes i wonder if i should just accept the 10 pound overage and not worry if i ever lose it. i'm 35 and i do understand that life is short so i shouldn't sweat the "small stuff." and i sure as hell don't want to look back at 50 and lament the 15 years i spent overly concerned with 10 pounds. on the other hand, i know that losing it is doable! so i don't want to accept that this is my weight/size. but i don't want to constantly be preoccupied with it either. but... you get the picture. sometimes i wish that i were rich enough to go to a spa retreat four times/year, for a month at a time, just to keep my weight in check. but until i win lotto, that ain't happening. but i really feel like i need an intervention that drastic to get and stay at goal. SIGH :straight

wow, thanks so much, myra! i really appreciate you going to that trouble.

Diva, I wanted to give my response some thought before I posted. First, I know that you did not mean any harm, and I don’t take it that way. I do know that y’all are on a specific path that I am not on. However, I am on—and have been for most of my life—the same weight-loss path as all of you. Although I am working to lose a small amount of weight now, I have lost upwards of 65 pounds in the past. Does knowing that now make me a more acceptable poster? And I am not the only person who posts on here who made it to goal, or is close to goal, without surgery. <O:p></O:p> Is it really because I’m not dealing with specific lap-band issues that caused you to post? Or are you irritated because I’m concerned about 10 “measly” pounds? Why should I have to find another board to post on if I feel a connection to this one? I do feel a connection to this board. Heck, I feel a connection any and everybody who is trying to gain control of their weight because I’ve been there! <O:p></O:p> And quite frankly, who are you to tell me I should find a place more suited to my situation? <O:p></O:p> I’m thankful for the ladies who responded positively to my emotional issues that I am dealing with. Aren’t we all dealing with weight-related emotional issues? Having said that, I’m sure that you are not the only one who feels this way, and I do not want to make people feel uncomfortable with/irritated by my posts. And no, this is not a “goodbye cruel board post.” Rather, it is an acknowledgement that you (and possibly others) may not be able to relate to me the same way that I relate to you. And I don’t want to be thought of as an outsider. I don’t know if I will stop posting, but I did want you to know that I have heard what you really meant, and I understand it.

say it ain't so!! :huytsao thanks, y'all i appreciate it. i doubt if it would bother me as much if my 10 pounds didn't mean i go from mediums to larges. and not just in arbitrary clothes sizes, but in weight too. 160 is easy enough to maintain, once i get there and have no complications! ha! but my weight just always wants to creep back to 170. and to me, that is the cusp of overweightness. i know that we all have different body types. so my thing is would i be settling for mediocre and giving up if i said, "ok body, let's just stay here." or would i finally be "accepting myself." i just don't know. i mean, is it supposed to be difficult to maintain at your healthier(est??) weight?

thanks, y'all! i will check it out.

that's precisely why star jones didn't want to specify what medical intervention she had. and she got slammed for it.

i saw that too. she said she gained it from being a new mom. i wonder if she will consider the lapband... or even knows it's a possibility.