rorysmom

gah, even more duh. i just saw you in the pictures thread. ok, now i'm starting to sound stalkerish. :help:

i read your blog, and i've seen your before/after pictures. you look awesome! congratulations on a great outcome, due to all your hard work. edited to update name. duh.

you're welcome.

ok, there is another article in o to complement this one. it is about dopamine and changing habits. basically, when we do something that gives us pleasure, it releases dopamine. and every subsequent time we do it, the dopamine release is stronger. pretty soon, anything even vaguely associated to the pleasurable activity can trigger the dopamine urge to do the activity. the example in the article was eating mcdonald's french fries. the first time you eat them and love them, dopamine is released. and so your brain wants to eat them again for that dopamine release. pretty soon the dopamine release from eating french fries is so strong that just seeing the mcdonald's colors (red and yellow) is enough to make you want french fries. so they recommend changing that urge out for another, just as pleasurable urge. nothing new there. but they say to make the reward instant and large. not waiting for 5 days of consecutive exercise to get a new outfit; give yourself something good after that first day of exercise. and in addition, to manage stress. because there is some frontal-lobe issue, that i forget at the moment, that makes it much harder to switch out the french fry urge with a better alternative when you feel stressed. which brings us, in part, back to the nurture article! ok, i'm through!!

i don't know how good the book is, but martha beck's article about it in the january issue (i think) of oprah magazine is good. one of the key things i took away from the article is that when many of us overeat, it is to nuture ourselves in some way. not a "new" concept to me. but i had been compartmentalizing it a bit more than that. for instance, it would be because i am anxious or tired or cranky, etc. but if i view my desire to overeat--or more likely to eat something unhealthy--as a way to nurture myself (care for myself) in that moment, i can jar myself into acting more appropriately or accurately on that basic need to calm/love/accept/remove myself from a stressful situation in that moment. hey, every little self-realization helps. [ame=http://www.amazon.com/Four-Day-Win-Achieve-Thinner/dp/1594866074/sr=8-2/qid=1165963465/ref=pd_bbs_sr_2/104-7410046-6394365?ie=UTF8&s=books]Amazon.com: The Four Day Win: End Your Diet War and Achieve Thinner Peace: Martha Beck: Books[/ame]

this story was on the cbs evening news tonight. http://www.cbsnews.com/stories/2006/11/28/eveningnews/main2213339.shtml

EVERS123P My heart goes out to you and your daughter. I was an overweight child too. Some physical things you might consider: <O:p Be active with her. Have fun moving your body with her. Get a Frisbee. Get a ball and catcher’s mitt. Get a hackey-sack. Dance to some songs she likes and then to some you like. J Every minute she spends being active is one less minute she fills with mindless eating. One less minute she spends obsessing over her size. One more minute she feels being in control of herself. And with her already being involved in sports, she knows activity is fun! <O:p Make nutritious meals. Most of her eating is probably what you make, right? So make sure that those meals are as tasty and healthy as they can be. Involve her in the preparation so that she can see how easy it can be to make good, wholesome food. <O:p Buy mostly nutritious Snacks. I also don’t believe in throwing everything out. But do throw most of it out. Find as many substitutions as possible. Crystal Light for soda. Baked pita chips for potato chips. Help her read labels. And then save the unhealthy stuff for those few and far between, honest to goodness, cravings. <O:p Make it crystal clear that the whole family is changing their eating habits because it is the healthy thing to do. Not because one or two of you need to lose weight. EVERYONE should eat a healthy diet. <O:p Get her involved in activities that don’t focus on her body. And get her into volunteering so that she is not so inwardly focused. <O:p One emotional talk they could have given me would have been: <O:p Sit me down and say, “I love you just as you are. But I know that you don’t love yourself too much right now. And that’s because your weight is bothering you. Ok, I understand that. Being overweight is tough. So let’s turn it around. Let’s put our heads together and think of ways to help the whole family eat healthier and be more active. I have dropped the ball by not cooking healthy meals, by allowing too much unhealthy food in the house, by not protecting you from other family members’ negative talk, by not setting a good example, whatever. But I am on board now. I am totally committed to you being healthy. So I will do what I need to as a parent. And that means providing you with support: constantly promoting healthy eating, spending time talking with you, getting you thoroughly tested, helping you understand consequences, etc. But, let me tell you… being a teenager is a tough time. You will run across insecure people who will make themselves feel better by making you feel bad. Understand that this is what’s happening when they make fun of you. If they were really happy with themselves, do you think they’d spend so much time thinking about ways to hurt you? No, they’d be doing their own thing. But if you feel like your school situation is just too far gone, let’s talk about it and see what our other options are. Come and talk to me anytime about anything. Finally, help her to understand that bodies are different. Plain and simple. And that, although it is terribly unfair, some people can eat lots of junk and still be slim and look healthy. But that ain't you! And it ain't me! Heck it isn't most people. You work with and love the body that God gave you. You may never be as small as your friends. But you can be your healthiest, fittest, trimmest self.

so do you have good restriction? feel like the band is working at optimum? or are you still testing levels?

i know that getting the fill exactly right is the key to great restriction and a great band experience. how often do you/can you go to your docs to adjust fills and discuss fill problems? thanks.

bettina, it looks like the doc overfilled: 2.5 cc. but when she went back, she got even more unfilled: 1.5cc instead of the 2.0cc she was at before. so she's at a deficit right now. the vexing thing is, even if she were eating the right foods 100% of the time, she can still consume more than she should if she had good restriction. from reading the boards, i know that finding the right restriction is tough. but her situation is like lady splenda's in that her mom has had a band for a while and has lost a lot of weight. and even when her mom (my aunt) is trying to be the most postive and encouraging that she can, i'm sure my cousin still feels that her mom is comparing herself to her--committment, choices, etc. NOT TO SAY THAT THIS IS WHAT LADY SPLENDA IS DOING. i'm just comparing the complex mother/daughter dynamic.

my cousin is not losing much either. we can't tell if she's having band problems (leaks in band or tube) or if the fill is not right. she's not eating lots of soft, high calorie foods. but she can eat more than one would want to if they had a band. now this past week, i learn that she was too tight after her last fill and was throwing up all night. so doesn't that mean she doesn't have a leak??? her weight has gone up and down. true, she has lost more than she would have otherwise. but she wanted the band to lose much more. she's going back in two weeks for a closer look and maybe another fill. i can't tell just how much she is discouraged because i don't want to invade feelings, but i know it must bother her.

thanks everyone for sharing! i will relay all of this to my cousin. it does seem like she eats less within a certain time frame (even if it is still at the same meal time), but the band isn't helping her to feel full enough or to stop her from eating too often. wanttobethin1, do i have a band? no. am i overweight? depends on the day. ha! seriously though, i have about 6 - 8 pounds to lose to make it to my goal weight range. however, the Never Too Thin Society (NTTS) would probably bump that up to 12 - 15 pounds. still even at goal weight, i am a "meaty" person with muscular thighs and a higher than expected weight that makes me feel always not quite there. i'm slowly releasing that though.