VDB

We are there for you...unconditionally.

ME, too, very funny visuals on the barfing, made my day... but sorry you had to go through that

Smye, I know this must be REALLY tough. But, one thing I deeply believe about marriage is that we owe our spouse unconditional love -- no conditions, just absolute acceptance without judgement. For example, my wife of 35+ years has a chronic illness and due to her pain, has no interest in sex for three years now. Yes, it was tough I was not pleased but I also know she has tried everything to get better, and nothing has worked. I just fell back on good old absolute acceptance, and we actually have a deeper love than ever, we enjoy each other's company, physical affection without sex, and continue on our road as a couple. In your situation, the greatest gift you can give your wife is unconditional acceptance without any qualifiers. You say to her "If you are gay, you are gay. You deserve to be with someone you are attracted to, whom you can connect with at every level. I also deserve this, and don't want to lose you, and want to stay close, stay in contact, still be best buddies." Thanks for sharing this with the group. As far as I know, none of us have ever met, but I find the support here to be invaluable.... and I love your recipes!

Don't forget to post those photos! Actually, why should women get to wear all of that loose, airy stuff... it is unfair, bring on the mumus. I just may not go outside here in rural Colorado, it might get dangerous...

RNY will save your life, it has mine. At 4 months post RNY, I have no high blood pressure problems, no edema (it was terrible), no urge incontinence, diabetes is 90% better, blood work is great, all the co-morbidities gone or much better. In 4 months, half of the 170# I have to lose is gone. On a scale of 1-10 with 10 being high levels of complications, mine have been a "2". Very easy overall.

I have driven a full size pickup since I was a kid, no problem with room there. However, my wife's Hyundai Santa Fe suv, that was another story. Very tight, very uncomfortable. Still not great, but with 85# down, no problem. We are taking it on a long trip soon and am not worried. What I always dreaded was having to ride in someone's car, someone who drove a sub-compact. I was picked up at the airport by someone who drove a Subaru Justy -- could not fit in. Another car I could not get into was the small Buick sports car, no way, but that was also a height issue.

I can understand your being nervous. I am a shrink and I was nervous! Also know enough about standarized testing to know not to take it all too seriously. I had spent many years privately and publicly underestimating my weight, lying to myself about how I was really secretly not that fat, was sure I would come across as a big fat liar, tight pants on fire, etc. But no, I passed. Now 4 mos past by-pass, no need to exaggerate my losses, this 85#+ is real, check out my before and 14 week past surgery photo...

B-52, you are an inspiration for this 4 mos. post bypass guy. You seem to have it in control and are enjoying life. THANK YOU!

I know I could substitue the white flour with almond flour... I order a great almond flour (very fine) from Nuts.com.... but am going to try these in the morning....

Thanks everyone!! I will get some petal extenders and see if they make riding pants my size, and will develop a dog protection plan... and of course, pad the seat even more! These tips really helped. Once I get riding again, I will Celebrate and post a picture, not long to wait.

I currently weigh 336, down from 422. I swim, walk, and garden for exercise, and have a 2 year old lab who gets me out in the fields many times a day. However, my favorite exercise was always riding my bike, which is a large frame ten speed with cruiser handle bars and a larger seat. Still have it and replaced the tires and bearings, getting ready for use. I live in a rural area with lots of great places to ride that are not too steep. I do have a helmet. I have not been able to safely ride it since about 1988, when my weight got really out of control and I got too top-heavy for safe riding. However, I am rapidly approaching my 1980's weight and expect to be able to safely ride in less than 30 days. I was wondering if any PALS had any tips on getting back into riding, if any of you ride. I was hoping that my swimming muscles (I do aerobic swim workouts with large foam dumbells and do laps about three hours a week) will make it less painful to get back on the bike. Thanks!

Dub, very funny. I guess this is major surgery, so while they are in there....

Thanks pirate, riding pants are a great idea, will check on them...

I have had some stalls (4 mos out now) but deal with them through not weighing frequently and just watching how my body is feeling, how loose the pants are, how easy it is to move... I do weigh now and then, probably average every two weeks, but I like others consider stalls as healthy little breaks from such rapid weight loss. 85# in four months, half the weight I have to lose, is alot of pounds. I just watch my Protein grams, drink alot of H2O, consider my calories, but just cruising and appreciating what RNY did for my body.

I lived in flannel pajamas... but did not go out much!

Strange thing happened today. I was weeding in the garden, moving around quite a bit, and just for a minute, I felt like I was not fat. It was sort of an out of body experience, I was shocked as I realized I was bending over easily as I weeded, I was not out of breath, was not making animal like grunts as I worked, and it felt pretty wonderful. I had 170# to lose. In 14 weeks, halfway there, still formally fat, but I loved that sensation. Any of you have that experience?

I would echo what she said about the pool. My journey back to health began with going to the pool in a nearby town. At first, I was embarrassed to show my body in a swim suit, but now even 85 pounds over goal weight, don't even think about it. I got much more flexible and did not hurt my joints like is possible with non-water exercise. I had a PT prescribe water exercises to strengthen my core muscles and add flexibility. I also now do deep water workouts with large foam weights to increase resistance, and now with 85# gone, swim laps as well. There are at least six very large guys using the pool now, we have taken over!

When I watch his show, I always want to bash Gordon Ramsey in the face and I am a totally non-violent person, but he triggers the worst outlaw cowboy response in me -- I think I would take a sledgehammer to the scales! Nope, I am going with the nice female soft voice "Looking good, big boy!"

I have some almost new blue jeans, 52 and 54 waist, all 32L, also some nice 22neck, about 36-38 sleeve length dress shirts, all good shape. You can have them. Tried to Craigslist them for free, but no luck. Send me a message or email to jevdb1@gmail.com. I am now in 44 or 46 waist jeans and dropping quick.

My son-in-law's dad is a bariatric surgeon. He says absolutely, all types of surgery can be defeated, but you have to work at it. In the honeymoon year after surgery, most people lose large amounts but he says by two years, significant gain could happen, and after three to four years, the patient can be back to pre-surgery weight. RNY is most subject to pouch stretching, but pouch stretching is only one way to defeat the surgery. Carbs, empty carbs, is the dominant way patients defeat this, lack of Protein and taking supplements is another big one,

This is a tough one. I am married for decades to skinny Minnie, and the gift she gave me was to accept me the way I was. Yes, every few years she would snap and tell me she was worried about me, tell me she wanted to keep me around, but overall, never fat shaming. It took until I was in my 60's, a heart attack, severe diabetes, etc. for me to truly accept responsibility for my health, if she had nagged me, it may never have happened. I think the greatest gift we give our partners and our kids is unconditional acceptance, no strings attached.... and I have always had that from my sweet wife.

I had RNY three and 1/2 months ago, have lost about 85# and diabetes, BP, edema, other things gone or vastly improved. It is worth it. I am predicting being a normal weight by February at the rate it is going, first time since age 3. I am 64 and retired but there was no way I could have gone back to work in a week, even with a desk job. Try to get at least 3 weeks off, this is major surgery and your body will be in shock. I had to take major painkillers for about 10 days.

I have gone from a size 18 EEW to a 17W.... Big Foot lives still, can't imagine wearing a tiny 14!

It will change your life forever, the first couple of days were tough for me, but honestly after that and going home, the overwhelming hope and optimism for my future, my longer and better life, took over, now at 14 weeks post, am SO GLAD that I did this....thinking about you today!!! WAY TO GO!

I know, recently bought a t-shirt at a normal JC Penny and then at a Target store (have gone from a 3XL to an XL), was shocked and awed by the experience, felt like a shoplifter!