VDB

Thanks for the continuing tips. I work with a faith-based network (volunteer network) and know the mental health resources in the area. Like many people with mental illness, she is in significant denial about her level of illness. I have encouraged her to reach out via volunteer work and community involvement, but it does not (never) happen. As a psychologist, I know that one's best and worst quality are often the same behavior, and this is true for her. She has fought against being labeled, and has tried to deal with her mental illness through denial. After she got a formal diagnosis, she finally admitted that she had bipolar II, but still is in significant denial -- for example, I do almost 100% of managing the house -- almost all cooking, generate all income, do all cleaning; all outside farm work, pay all bills; but in her mind because she empties the dishwasher, it is an equal distribution. I understand that she does not want to "give in" but the stress level for me is difficult -- she will not accept in-home help. She will not participate in healthy community life, and no one can make her.

No art therapy program, great idea though!!!

Thanks to everyone for sharing your experiences. Such wonderful support! I have learned some good lessons from reading all of your stories and tips. Foremost, I have to increase my time away from the direct caregiving role. I live in a very rural area without day programs or formal respite, but building in daily time alone is possible. I have a wonderful lab pup who is a joy, and his affection and companionship is a bright spot in every day. Like several of you, I do mourn the loss of my "normal" relationship (not totally sure anything is normal) with my wife and the dominance of the caregiver relationship over the husband relationship. I have talked with her about the possibility of intimate time, cuddling (sex is likely never happening) but she has a wall of armor that she cannot drop. I know this is self-protection. People with mental illness often build walls around themselves just to survive, and realistically there is no possibility of that changing. Your stories of sticking with your health were inspiring. I love the analogy of putting my air mask on first, just like on planes. It is so true. I know without me, and my care giving, she would have a much more difficult life. In any big city, the homeless mentally ill are everywhere -- those without support. I show my love for her through this support. What is clear, and the biggest lesson, is that I have used this stress as an excuse for overeating, for slips, and for backsliding that may eventually ruin my substantial weight loss and keep me from reaching my goal. Stress eating.... an old story for me. I have some great alternatives that are helping. Swimming, walking the lab twice a day, gardening, music, writing, and asking for support. THANKS! There are many of us who are choosing health, and getting the WLS was/will be an undeniable huge step. I feel so much better.

We eat alot of salmon, both fresh and canned. Fresh, I have two basic recipes. One, I put a Tablespoon of olive oil on two fillets, rub the thinly sliced fillet with a mix of cayenne, garlic powder, onion powder, paprika, chili powder, and thyme. Then, I cook it hot and quick, never ever ever over cooking it, just about four minutes on each side for a 1 inch thick fillet. Second, I prepare an aluminum foil pouch, grate carrots and onion (you will need two cups of vege for two large fillets), spray the pouch with PAM, pack the veges and a pinch of salt and pepper all over both sides of the fish, then put in the pouch with several slices of lemon. Bake at 450 for about 20 minutes in preheated oven. Sometimes I will put the fish and veges in a large chard leaf, that is also delicious. Canned, after draining half the liquid in the pink salmon, I mix the full can with two Tablespoons of panko, two eggs, 4 Tablespoons chopped onion, fresh parsley, thyme, and garlic powder. I form thin patties and cook in a bit of olive oil until brown (about 7 minutes first side, 5 after flipping). My NUT wants me to consume a Tablespoon of olive oil a day, which I primarily use with fish. The other version of this, I chop seven or eight fresh raw large shrimp (16 to 20 a pound size), and mix that in with the salmon prior to frying.

WLS is weight loss surgery

Thanks, will try it!

@@gowalking, thanks for the post. Happy new year to us all. The bypass was in April, and I have had wonderful results. No, it did not take away all external problems, there is still a foot of snow outside right now, my relatives still think I am too liberal, and I still have overeating impulses! But, slowly nailing those really bad habits -- behavioral types say that after 4 months without feeding the habit, it is likely gone -- I am about to declare "too rapid eating" a thing of the past; drinking with meals is long gone; beer and soda pop are gone; too big of portions gone (thanks pouch). Am working on stronger daily exercise habits but almost 120# gone sure makes me more mobile. Looking ahead to a year from now. I would like to be close to goal weight, my eventual is goal weight at two years out. I want to enjoy healthy wonderfully tasting food, and see my BMI under 30!

I have bypass end of April '15. Over 100# down, few complications. Rapid weight loss period was debilitating but is part of the process, slower now but still happening. I guess in general, I would not choose one over the other due to a food such as sweets, but rather based on data. As others have said, sleeve is catching up with bypass on results -- and results are in large part based on compliance with diet and exercise. The malabsorbtion of the bypass gives one more plus if compliance on diet and exercise is a historical problem, so was one of the reasons I chose bypass, but also for it's better effect on diabetes. Having read and posted on Bariatric Pal a bunch, there does not seem to be a strong preference either way, all seem happy. For me, there are only a few foods which cause dumping syndrome -- none are sweets! Very grainy carbs, full fat cheese, but have lost my taste for most dairy, including cheese. At close to 9 months out, hunger is slowly returning but honestly, I welcome it as hunger for good food is not a bad thing. I don't have any carbonated drinks period, as they stretch the pouch quicker than most things. Good luck!

Hey Inner Surfer, do you have a brand name on the dip mix? I would like to try that, sounds good

I buy whey Protein powder (EAS Brand from Target, Choc or Vanilla) in the large purple plastic container. I mix it 50-50 with non-fat powdered milk (any brand) and then mix with Water. I like this as the two Proteins complement each other (whey and regular milk) and have 24 g. per 1/2 cup, aren't thick or slimy, and does not take my wallet to town.

Thanks, James! Merry Christmas, love your blog and writing, very helpful to us newbies.

OK, My guy thing has been kicking in. I just hit 8 months out from by-pass surgery, I have lost over 100#, but to my competitive nature, it is not enough. I look at other's bigger losses, and feel inadequate. I know this is stupid, but it is the way I am. So, to myself -- CUT IT OUT! It should be enough that my diabetes, which had been out of control even with lots of effort, is 90% better. Off all blood pressure meds, after 40 years on. Blood fats best in 45 years, cholesterol is low! Wow. Truly severe crippling edema in legs and feet. Gone! Mobility up -- can now ride my bicycle for the first time in 30+ years. (funny thing, had kept my old great bike all these years, moving it with me all over the country, I find it is now an antique). Waist from 56 to 42. From 4xl shirts to XL. Now get all my clothes on EBAY (Men, try it -- very good, very inexpensive stuff as men's clothing has low resale value on EBAY) which is great since I have gone through so many wardrobes. But no, I get all worried about being a slacker. My PA at Bariatric (saw last week) is happy. Testosterone poisoning, I guess. I will work on it, I promise. 70 pounds to go. Thanks for listening.

Pirate, way to go. I threw all of my well worn 54 and 56 waist jeans away several months ago, but found a pair in one of my drawers, can't believe the difference. However, now in 42/44, find that my rear end disappeared somehow and that I need suspenders! Merry Christmas, Pirate! You are an inspiration!

Jenn1, are those frozen artichoke hearts, canned, what? Thanks sounds great.

EAS is sold at Target and other places, but Target is the place I can find the right type of EAS brand of whey powder. It is in a 2# container, container is purple, and it says "26g protein; 150 cal; 6.3 BCAAs" on the label. I buy any non-fat powdered milk. I mix the EAS and powdered milk half and half, dry. I put 9 heaping tablespoons in a pint of water (a mason jar with a tight lid) and shake it well, keep it in the fridge, drinking half a cup at a serving. I am just like you, I hate sweet, thick, and chalky. Try this mix, it works for me and the chemistry is good. Whey and powdered milk have different and complementary Proteins. Add or subtract dry mix to your taste, it has lots of protein, is thrifty, and the chocolate is my favorite. About the water, of course no water 25 minutes before or after a meal so that your sleeve or my pouch can absorb maximum nutrients, but I start the day with 12 oz of water, and then keep a glass or container of water handy all day, going through 80+oz by sipping it whenever I am not in the eating window. I end the day with another 12 oz glass of water. When I get tired of water, I drink water with lemon juice and splenda, with ice. I watch my pee color -- when it starts to darken I drink more, I go for light yellow. That is a bit gross but it is the best indicator of good hydration. You may be on a lower calorie than I was, but I kept it to 800 to 900 range back then, still do. Now that the weight loss has slowed, I don't lose much unless I exercise alot -- now so much lighter, the treadmill and bike are my go-tos. But in the early days of 40-53 BMI, swimming was my chosen exercise as it saves the joints. Now, I need more aerobic so the treadmill and exercise bike combo does it as well as my four legged walking machine (yellow lab pup, demands three walks a day). Always willing to help -- this has saved my life. My diabetes is 90% better, horrible edema gone, blood fats superb, high blood pressure gone. I am off 80% of my medications. sleep apnea is better but will likely never get off the CPAP as mine is more genetic rather than fat related. My mobility was going -- now am very active. I admire that you did the self-pay, incredible!

Hey there, T. I was not quite as heavy at the start as you but BMI was over 50. Now down 120+ but still have a ways to go. I think my NUT said it best -- she said for my size a target of 800 to 1000 cal a day was good and 80 to 100 protein is good, with 80 oz of Water. During the first six months I did this and lost weight very rapidly, eating no more than 3 cups of food total a day, not counting liquids. I have to say, I have the best nutritionist I have ever met. I mix whey powder half and half with dry non-fat milk powder, with water (I use the SAS brand of whey Protein Drink, from Target, comes in vanilla and chocolate). This gives me a 25 g protein in 1/2 cup of liquid, so for 2 cups a day I could get my protein in those early months. I can't stand slimey thick protein drink that is sweet and this does the trick... now at 8 months out, I do the protein drink once a day and get all my other grams from chicken, fish, pork, lamb. Still can't eat beef. Then, I eat 5 servings of fruit and veges a day, low carb types. Good luck, I feel great at 8 months out from by-pass.

Yes, Sleevy! I am still 50+ pounds overweight and my friends are saying "Surely you are not going to lose anymore!" I know this is because all they have ever known is the round, happy fat guy and don't want to lose him.... they will see I am still here!

Good luck! My 100# plus weight loss has made a huge difference in my mobility, but as we heard, the years of 400# plus had a negative effect on my joints... but at age 64, the increased mobility is wonderful, but still get more aches and pains than those who were always skinny.... I consider it some of the old baggage, lessons learned, and a real consequence of being so heavy, but no longer that obese, much lighter, much much healthier. Hope your appointment goes well.

Saw my bariatric PA the other day, asked her if there were any anti-inflammatories I could take. She said no. She said with the by-pass, if I use Ibuprofen etc. I will get an ulcer, it is just a matter of when. I will ask her about the topicals.... the Tylenol does absolutely nothing for me.... nothing at all, even in high doses.

Saute with olive oil and garlic, add a bit of chopped jalapeno pepper, love it cooked hot and quick! Early on after bypass, my pouch tolerated soft steamed veges, but now 8 months out, any way I want to fix them that is healthy.

My nut likes what I do, which is 1/2 whey powder and 1/2 no fat powdered milk. it is not slimey, not sweet, but has 24 g of protein per serving, and is pretty thrifty...

If it is someone close, a good friend whom I have not seen for awhile, I just say "Thanks! I am shrinking!" If they ask how/why or how much, I just often say "Alot". If they really seem to want to know, I tell them I had a gastric bypass. If I don't know them well, I just say "Yep!" "Sure thing!". If they keep asking, I just say "I appreciate your interest". The exception is another very overweight person who genuinely wants to know how I lost so much weight, I will always share about the bypass. I find that humor gets me out every time I don't want to share anything: "yes, little tiny guy now!"

I also mix my non-fat cottage cheese with real whipped cream and oreo cookie crumbles... naw, I don't really, only in my old fat dreams...

My go-to is also cottage cheese. My adds: 1. A few raisins and a few chopped walnuts 2. A pkt of Splenda and a diced 1/4 apple 3. A pkt of Splenda and a diced 1/4 peach 4. Some green chili and a bit of shredded cheddar

Thanks for these suggestions, will try them... especially the taco seasoning tip