HopeandAgony

Lack of potassium causes Charlie horses.

Beautiful mama and baby. You've done well on both fronts. Congrats on your wonderful life.

I am in your same boat mentality wise. I know the struggle very well. That said, you look fantastic. You really do! Wow!!! Congrats, those results look awesome on you!

I have had to take this several times over my career. My result is always the same. INTJ (Introverted Intuitive Thinking Judging) As an INTJ, your primary mode of living is focused internally, where you take things in primarily via your intuition. Your secondary mode is external, where you deal with things rationally and logically. INTJs live in the world of ideas and strategic planning. They value intelligence, knowledge, and competence, and typically have high standards in these regards, which they continuously strive to fulfill. To a somewhat lesser extent, they have similar expectations of others. With Introverted Intuition dominating their personality, INTJs focus their energy on observing the world, and generating ideas and possibilities. Their mind constantly gathers information and makes associations about it. INTJs are tremendously insightful and are usually very quick to understand new ideas. However, their primary interest is not understanding a concept, but rather applying that concept in a useful way. Unlike the INTP, they do not follow an idea as far as they possibly can, seeking only to understand it fully. INTJs are driven to come to conclusions about ideas. Their need for closure and organization usually requires that they take some action. INTJs have a tremendous amount of ability to accomplish great things. They have insight into the Big Picture, and are driven to synthesize their concepts into solid plans of action. Their reasoning skills gives them the means to accomplish that. INTJs are almost always highly competent people, and will not have a problem meeting their career or education goals. INTJ Strengths Quick, Imaginative and Strategic Mind – INTJs pride themselves on their minds, taking every opportunity to improve their knowledge, and this shows in the strength and flexibility of their strategic thinking. Insatiably curious and always up for an intellectual challenge, INTJs can see things from many perspectives. INTJs use their creativity and imagination not so much for artistry, but for planning contingencies and courses of action for all possible scenarios. High Self-Confidence – INTJs trust their rationalism above all else, so when they come to a conclusion, they have no reason to doubt their findings. This creates an honest, direct style of communication that isn't held back by perceived social roles or expectations. When INTJs are right, they're right, and no amount of politicking or hand-holding is going to change that fact – whether it's correcting a person, a process, or themselves, they'd have it no other way. Independent and Decisive – This creativity, logic and confidence come together to form individuals who stand on their own and take responsibility for their own actions. Authority figures do not impress INTJs, nor do social conventions or tradition, and no matter how popular something is, if they have a better idea, INTJs will stand against anyone they have to in a bid to have it changed. Either an idea is the most rational or it's wrong, and INTJs will apply this to their arguments as well as their own behavior, staying calm and detached from these sometimes emotionally charged conflicts. INTJs will only be swayed by those who follow suit. Hard-working and Determined – If something piques their interest, INTJs can be astonishingly dedicated to their work, putting in long hours and intense effort to see an idea through. INTJs are incredibly efficient, and if tasks meet the criteria of furthering a goal, they will find a way to consolidate and accomplish those tasks. However, this drive for efficiency can also lead to a sort of elaborate laziness, wherein INTJs find ways to bypass seeming redundancies which don't seem to require a great deal of thought – this can be risky, as sometimes double-checking one's work is vital. Open-minded – All this rationalism leads to a very intellectually receptive personality type, as INTJs stay open to new ideas, supported by logic, even if (and sometimes especially if) they prove INTJ's previous conceptions wrong. When presented with unfamiliar territory, such as alternate lifestyles, INTJs tend to apply their receptiveness and independence, and aversion to rules and traditions, to these new ideas as well, resulting in fairly liberal social senses. Jacks-of-all-Trades – The INTJ's open-mindedness, determination, independence, confidence and strategic abilities create the capacity to do anything they set their minds to doing. Excelling at analyzing anything life throws their way, INTJs are able to reverse-engineer the underlying methodology of almost any system and apply the concepts that are exposed wherever needed. INTJ Weaknesses Arrogant – INTJs are perfectly capable of carrying their confidence too far, falsely believing that they've resolved all the pertinent issues of a matter and closing themselves off to the opinions of those they believe to be intellectually inferior. Combined with their irreverence for social conventions, INTJs can be brutally insensitive in making their opinions of others all too clear. Judgmental – INTJs tend to have complete confidence in their thought process, because rational arguments are almost by definition correct – at least in theory. In practice, emotional considerations and history are hugely influential, and a weak point for INTJs is that they brand these factors and those who embrace them as illogical, dismissing them and considering their proponents to be stuck in some baser mode of thought, making it all but impossible to be heard. Overly Analytical – A recurring theme with INTJs is their analytical prowess, but this strength can fall painfully short where logic doesn't rule – such as with human relationships. When their critical minds and sometimes neurotic level of perfectionism (often the case with turbulent INTJs) are applied to other people, all but the steadiest of friends will likely need to make some distance, too often permanently. Loathe Highly Structured Environments – Blindly following precedents and rules without understanding them is distasteful to INTJs, and they disdain even more authority figures who blindly uphold those laws and rules without understanding their intent. Anyone who prefers the status quo for its own sake, or who values stability and safety over self-determination, is likely to clash with INTJ personality types. Whether it's the law of the land or simple social convention, this aversion applies equally, often making life more difficult than it needs to be. Clueless In Romance – This antipathy to rules and tendency to over-analyze and be judgmental, even arrogant, all adds up to a personality type that is often clueless in dating. Having a new relationship last long enough for INTJs to apply the full force of their analysis on their potential partner's thought processes and behaviors can be challenging. Famous INTJ's Isaac Newton Ayn Rand Nikola Tesla Friedrich Nietzsche Elon Musk Bobby Fischer Stephen Hawking James Cameron Jodie Foster Career Choices Scientist Engineer Professor Teacher Medical Doctor Dentist Corporate Strategist Organization Builder Business Administrator Business Manager Military Leader Attorney Judge Computer Programmer INTJ In Summary ... Have original minds and great drive for implementing their ideas and achieving their goals. Quickly see patterns in external events and develop long-range explanatory perspectives. When committed, organize a job and carry it through. Skeptical and independent, have high standards of competence and performance for themselves and others.

No. It's a collaborative effort pre determined by the medical group (both your primary and your surgeon). The example I provided was my medical groups practice. I was only trying to show you that your 12 month program probably isn't too far off from what most H M O groups would require. The 12 months you just did, was it Dr supervised? Did you have Dr appointments during that time where weight loss was recorded? If so you might ask that those appointments be considered. If they weren't, unfortunately the Dr's have no way to know you did what you say and most good surgeons want to provide this surgery to people who show commitment, and that is why they want to monitor you for a while. They need to see you can make the changes to support the surgery. I know it's frustrating. I wanted to void my waiting period too but I really did learn a lot in that time frame.

Hi Nikki. When you elect a H M O that is the nature of the plan. Your Dr controls all aspects of your Healthcare. I too had BCBS IL H M O. My employer offered 2 plans and the PPO didn't cover wls so I didn't have a choice. My primary care Dr made me complete a monitored weight loss program before they'd even give me a referral to the surgeon. I had to have 4 months of monthly weigh ins (3 months) with a lose of 6 lbs and no gains. When I finished that I got my referral to the surgeon. When I saw the surgeon I had to get medical clearance from a pulmonary Dr (with testing), a cardiologist (with testing), and a psychologist (with testing). Once I passed all of those I got my blood work done, had to attend a handful of classes with the surgeons office and then my surgery was scheduled. My first appointment with my primary care was early April 2015. My first appointment with my surgeon was early August. My surgery was November 16th 2015. Almost 8 full months. Your only option to attempt to shorten the time frame you've been given is to change your medical group (thru the insurance company) see a new primary care, and in essence start over with the process. I really believe though that would only save you a handful of months. With H M O the insurance company let's the Dr lead the way. That really is the design of the plan. I will say the 8 months gave me time to do a lot of research and soul searching. At the end of the day I was thankful I had the opportunity to read every single up and every single down that I could get my hands on. I know it's hard to wait, but the wait is worth it. Good luck on your journey. Hang in there.

As many of my posts indicate I have struggled to recognize my weight loss. My weight has been steadily holding at a number that leaves me classified as obese on the BMI chart (I've lost 80 lbs since the journey started, 90 lbs total). I am 9 months post op. Between my jacked up mentality due to real life mental health issues and the honest struggle to visually see mentally weight loss I have come to understand I am fighting an every day battle with self sabotaging behavior. The past two weeks I have been on a downward spiral...pretty much since I got into a size 6 jeans. I've been demonizing my own success by eating like a human garbage disposal suddenly. Why? Because that size 6 didn't hit home with me. I wanted it too. I even made a post about it (starting posts is an infrequent occurrence for me). But it didn't. And now I've managed to put back on 5 lbs from my lowest weight (my lowest lasted 1 day by the way - 174 lbs). Does anyone else self sabotage? What did you do to change it? Why do we do this? How did you beat it? I'm already regularly medically treated for my mental health. I have to find a way to beat this monster without having to call my shrink every day. I plan to get back on track. Tracking my food. Avoiding the sweets. Exercising even when I don't want to. Please share your reminders with me that you tell yourselves of why we did this in the first place.

I feel like we are the same person. I've connected with your posts before and am again doing so. I at times feel like I don't recognize myself. I often take selfies and delete them because I don't like what I see. And it's ironic because I never did before either but this new thinner face seems so long and not what I have known for so many years. My eyes seem so big now. My lips as larger too. I know that it's because they aren't being engulfed by fat anymore but that doesn't matter to me. I didn't go into this thinking it would solve my mental health problems. But I've never imagined it would be challenging to except the new me. I have thought on 2 occasions today that "this won't make me feel better" before I ate something. One time it worked. I just have to keep trying. I haven't given up yet and I've been fighting these mental health battles for over 20 years. Thanks for your reply. I know we can both do this. It's just not easy, but it'll be worth it. I have about 20 or 25 more lbs that I want to lose. The dr would consider me good at 14 more because I have a ridiculous amount of muscle. It seems so small compared to where I was 9 months ago but this small hill feels like a mountain. Keep in touch. Xo

I also self sabotage. I try to look at the patterns and eliminate it. At one point it was drive thrus. I made a no drive thru rule and if I wanted the food I had to go in. I hated going inside so I eventually stopped. Look for patterns and make a plan around them. Another one was I would blindly eat at night. I made a no eating after 8 rule and ate dinner a little later. That helped too. Good luck Sent from my VS986 using the BariatricPal App The drive thru approach is fantastic. I wondered this morning what I could do to avoid the junk I am eating. Comfort type junk... Cookies, cakes, any chocolate I can get my hands on. We have a stocked "market" at my work and I've been going to it when stressed or bored at work. People are baking constantly lately, and I've been seeking it out. Maybe I will try a rubber band on my wrist and will give myself a good snap when I feel like eating something I shouldn't. It's just so hard. I had NONE of this cravings until recently. And now that I've opened the box once the cravings are out of control. Thanks for replying. Knowing I'm not alone helps calm my own insecurities and gives me hope to continue to fight it.

Thank you. I've found myself repeating the "I'll start over tomorrow" and just like usual tomorrow never comes. At 9 months out my capacity seems much greater than previously. I still have restriction if I do it right (Protein first) but baked goods offer zero restriction and I've turned to them ferociously lately and I know they offer nothing. As soon as I got into those jeans it was like something switched off and I felt like I couldn't or didn't want to do this anymore. I even stopped the majority of my exercise and that has only made my mental health worse. You've been such a presence on this board even though you are still pre op, thank you for your support. You are great. The struggles are real!

Thanks for replying. I do see a therapist regularly and am also on medication due to severe OCD (classified as Pure O) and anxiety. I am what she calls hyper vigilant when it comes to self awareness. I quickly recognize my issues because I am constantly looking for faults in myself. I am very much aware this is a mental challenge. I am hoping people can share with me what they've said to themselves to bring their goal back into the picture. Or what actions they've taken to have reminders present of why we all started down this path. I do appreciate your reply and might venture a peek at the website. I am always looking for ways to help myself and anyone I can conquer their battles.

Gorgeous!

I had the sleeve so my personal experience might be different. I still need my meds just as much as before. My confidence has slightly improved, however at the end of the day I am still fighting my pure O OCD and severe anxiety with everything I've got. Shortly after my sleeve surgery I made a realization that my long time medication was no longer working at all. I went back in and they changed me from one drug to two different drugs. Some days I feel like it's working well. Other days I'm not sure it's working at all. It's a challenge for me. I've been fighting this mental health battle for a long time and am very much aware of when things aren't working right. I hope you are fortunate enough to have a positive change post op. If you aren't though don't feel defeated. It's just part of who we are. Good luck!

Hi there! That's a rough one. One thing that strikes a cord with me is that twice you focus on what you want to do for your fiance. Please make this about you, your health, your well being. He deserves you, as a person, NOT as a specific body. Please believe that. Focus on you, the rest will fall into line after that. Hugs.

Congrats on passing the testing and thanks for posting. I need to read this, probably on a regular basis.

I did not have a drain.

I was sleeved 11/16/15. My high weight was 265 and I am 5'4", female. I wore a tight size 22 jeans, and 2x or 3x tops. My breaking point was realizing a lot of the 3x clothing in stores were too tight and that was the largest size without going online. After my sleeve I lost a load of my weight quickly. By the end of March I was down to 186 lbs. I was comfortably wearing a size 14 pants and large tops. Then I stalled...until May 2nd!! Ugh. So depressed. Then I started losing and got down to 176 by June 9th. And there I've sat. At 176 lbs. Consistently for almost 2 months again. I eat good 95% of the time still and work out. I've really bumped up my cardio and have been increasing my weight resistance & training steadily. I haven't bought many jeans because I refuse to believe I was done at 176. However, the 2 pairs I have were getting increasingly big. I finally retired the 14's in the picture and went to a 10. I had to add a belt though and looked pretty frumpy. I am amazed to say yesterday I bought a size 6 jeans (and medium tops!). Are the jeans snug? Sure. But they button and don't create a muffin top. The moral of my lengthy story is that I have only lost 10 lbs since March 27th, including 2 LONG stalls, yet I've dropped 4 pant sizes. My body is shifting. I often struggle to see my weight loss (and have expressed that here) so this was a real ah-ha moment for me today. I cannot let that number on the scale or that BMI chart dictate my success. Thanks for reading!

Interestingly since I posted this I've lost 2 lbs. And to be honest, I am happy but that isn't as important to me now as it was before I had my ah-ha moment. I have lived by those numbers, both on the scale and on the BMI chart for so long that I wasn't looking at the bigger picture. My health, the way I feel, the things I can do that I couldn't before. I have muscle in places that I didn't know muscle existed. Do I have loose skin? Sure, but I am 39 years old. And when I "flex" I watch a lot of that skin firm up around the muscle developed underneath it. Last night in the mall I was still in awe at the knowledge that I could've walked into any store to buy clothing. I haven't done that...yet. I've been buying cheap things because I am still not confident in myself. But I WILL get there. In this body, or a body maybe even a little smaller. Thank you all for sharing. Don't fall into the mental trap I fell in. Realize sooner then I did that numbers are nothing more than numbers. Any step you make in he right direction is a good one.

They are so little. When I hold them up I can't imagine getting in to them even though I'm wearing them right now. It's such a mental hurdle for me. My weight/height according to BMI says I am still obese. It's mind boggling.

Welcome back and congrats! It's great when we have those ah ha moments that remind us how far we've come.

Hi there! I know exactly how you feel. For the first 4 weeks I had serious buyers remorse. I was miserable. I didn't have any complications but I had a ton of pain, nausea, and diarrhea. It wasn't until week 5 that I started to feel almost human again. It was like I woke up one morning and the pain was down significantly. Smells weren't making me sick. food was tasting better. Water was easier to drink. I am now 9 months post op and just bought a pair of size 6 jeans yesterday and medium tops (previously size 22 jeans and 2x tops). I am down 90 lbs from my highest weight. I couldn't be happier with my decision. I can eat anything I want in moderation. The sleeve gave me the ability to control my hunger and how much I consume. The weight loss has given me so much more energy to be active. The "Protein first" rule that my surgeon advised has completely changed the way I think about food. Hang in there. I promise it gets better. You'll be turning that corner soon. Hugs. Sent from my SM-G930P using the BariatricPal App

Awesome!! Congrats. It feels so good doesn't it? Keep up the good work! Sent from my SM-G930P using the BariatricPal App

As a person who has been a mental health warrior for a very long time I fully understand the reason this post was made. For a lot of you here, blunt and what you like to call tough love is 100% your approach. It is your approach because you aren't personally impacted by that approach, giving or receiving it. That's your way life. For someone like me, it's just not that easy. I can dissect every single word slung at me. Over analyze it. Be hurt. Be sad. Worry about it for hours on end. Every time I speak/write I analyze everything to determine how it would impact me. I'm not saying the tough lovers don't think before they speak. What I am saying is that it probably isn't agonizing for you. Is my sensitivity your fault? No. But it isn't mine either. I don't expect anyone to pussyfoot around me. And you shouldn't expect everyone to understand your bluntness, or that it was only meant just that, tough love. Not all minds work that way. Then there are also the people who just come out of the gate swinging if someone says something they don't agree with. I'm not excusing these people, but I am a little in awe of them for having the ability to so readily defend themselves because I most often shy away from conflict. And yes, I agree they go over board and push buttons and escalate things quickly. I guess my point is that the people who don't understand this post might have never walked in the shoes of a person with a shattered mind. We can't just toughen up. We can't just grow thicker skin. We can't always control what "butt hurts" us. That said, we also shouldn't be banned from the internet though, like is often suggested because we are sensitive. We want and need support to and you have no right to determine what does or doesn't hurt or bother us. The world is so full of hate. If we could all try a little harder to see each other's perspective there wouldn't be so many lines drawn in the sand. I appreciate most everyone here. I know I'm sensitive so I avoid posts that go in a direction that doesn't support my needs. Am I ultimately avoiding conflict? Yes. But that is how I make it through this world that often leaves me feeling ways that aren't healthy for me. Maybe for you tough lovers, if a responder gets a little upset, don't keep going. Just bow out of the post. You never know what storm another person is walking through. Sent from my SM-G930P using the BariatricPal App

Going up stairs without gasping for air like a fish out of Water. Walking the dogs and not only walking faster than they want to, but wanting to drop them at home and go back out alone. So much less hip and back pain. Sitting Indian style. Sitting with my knees pulled up to my chest with ease and comfort. Being able to wear high heels. Being able to fit in a bench and allowing the person opposite of me to push it closer to me because I have too much room on my side. Being able to sleep on my stomach because I'm so much flatter than before in the belly area. Not feeling mortified and ashamed if I see a high school acquaintance while being out. Going from a size 2x shirts to medium shirts and a size 22 pants to size 8 pants. Sent from my SM-G930P using the BariatricPal App

Hi. I am almost 9 months post op sleeve. I got IBS in 2009 around the same time I had my gall bladder removed. My IBS was almost always watery diarrhea, non stop. Very rarely was I constipated. When I started the pre op diet my diarrhea was pretty much status quo. Everyone else was saying it would soon be constipation and that after surgery I'd be extremely constipated. That never happened for me. I had such bad diarrhea after surgery my doctor stopped all Protein shakes and had me get my protein from meats and dairy only. I am happy to say since having the surgery, and stopping all Protein Shakes my IBS is almost non existing. I hardly ever experience an issue. I think I've had 2 painful IBS cramping experiences in the last 9 months. I'm more regular than I've ever been since 2009. It seems to have really helped me. I am willing to bet a large piece of the puzzle is that I am eating so much healthier. Don't let the worry sway you. It's been so worth it. Good luck! Sent from my SM-G930P using the BariatricPal App