HopeandAgony

Thanks Babbs. The thought of skin doesn't bother me for some reason. And to be honest I've had thinning hair for a while because of a burn on my scalp that took place years ago. Of course my main objective here is to be healthy. I am not doing this to look better though I'd be lying if I didn't acknowledge it being a perk. I just don't understand why these images vary so much. I haven't been under 200 for 20 years, or under 175 for 24. Maybe the fear of not knowing, not having a comparison... It's interesting that you have a hard time seeing the weight loss as you lost and in pictures. I wonder how common that is? I know right now pictures are brutal on me. I look so much bigger than I do when I look in the mirror (at least I think so). I always try to ask these random questions. It helps me pass the time while I wait for my surgery date, and I love others perspectives. I like to hear what others think about to.

I've already started looking at hair toppers! I already own one because I sustained a bad burn on my head and my hair has been thin since, but I am definitely going to invest in more.

When I feel like you do, this quote reels me back in "Every time you think about quitting, Think about and remember why you started"... that pretty much does it for me. Good luck.

Praying

I have had 3 c sections ( two horizontal & 1 vertical) and my gall bladder removed. My surgeon said it wouldn't be a problem.

I know how you feel. I avoid mirrors as often as I can. I refuse pictures. When I spoke to the surgeon and we talked about doing this for my physical health I also told him how much this impacts my mental health. I have no self confidence. I have no self respect. As much as I try to love me for who and how I am I just have never been able to.

Thanks for replying. The surgery is covered by both. I am just not sure if the change in employer would create a disruption.

I am almost done with my requirements. Saw the Primary Dr, completed the 3 month monitored weight loss program, saw the surgeon, and will be having my 3 evals (cardiac, pulmonary, and psych) with in the next few weeks. I don't have a surgery date yet but it should be early October. In October I am changing employers. My insurance is the same company to company, however I will get a new group number and member ID. The Dr has assured me it will cause no problems. I don't want to ask my new employer if it will because frankly it's none of their business. Does anyone know if I should be concerned? I don't want to waste all my progress. Thanks in advance.

Now that it's getting closer to go time I am starting to think about what I want to actually weigh. What do I really want my goal to be? In high school I was very active and athletic. I was never thin, but I was confident, healthy, and looked and felt great. I bounced between 155 and 170 mostly. Even that was never within a healthy weight range. At 5'4" I should be under 145 lbs to not be considered "overweight". That said, I don't know where I truly want to be? On paper under 145, but I don't know what that looks like for me. I don't want to set my goal within the overweight bmi range, but I felt good at 155. My Surgeon has no goal for me. My Dr doesn't either. It's up to me and I don't know which way to turn. Do I just go with it and see where I end up? If I don't have a goal will I not strive for a healthy weight range. If I have a goal and don't make it will I become depressed? Anyone else in this state of confusion?

Awww! I had to do a 3 month one before I was referred to the surgeon. I started this process in April. I am close but not quite there yet. Hang in there. You will have a lot of holidays to look forward to that will help pass the time

I am terrified I won't lose weight and I'll have done this for nothing.

Congrats on getting so much done! I had all my blood work done by my primary during my 3 month monitored weight loss. Today I saw the surgeon and scheduled my cardiac, pulmonary, and psych evals. Do you have a date yet?

it will happen Thanks. The nurse told me months. It's a wait and see game at this point. I have all my evaluation scheduled for this month, which is what she said takes months, so... maybe early October for me? This is such a roller coaster.

Apparently it takes months once you see the surgeon for my insurance. Looks like I won't be Sept or Oct. Sigh. So disappointing.

♡ ♡ I WISH THIS FOR YOU! ♡ ♡

I think your feelings are normal. I know I would feel similar. Some of us wait a long time to do this. Some of us have so many hoops to jump thru. Some of us read into things like this and view them as a sign that we should question the whole thing. Try to take some deep breaths and hang in there. Things do happen for a reason. ♡

It's been great. Sometimes you feel so alone and that nobody understands. And you don't share your struggles because they are embarrassing. This was great!

Yes!! I too have gone thru the scarf phase.

Oh, and speaking of the issue that correlates with my above post... I am so tired of being in a room full of people and noting two things. 1. I am the heaviest person in the room. 2. Every one else is freezing cold and I have sweat gathering in my armpits, around my butt, my "skirt", and between my boobs!

And a more mortifying confession...I stuff a sock in my under my belly to keep from getting sweaty and an infection. Ugh. It's out there! Since having my kids and 3 c sections I have a serious overhang. I call it my skin skirt. I don't know what will happen after surgery but it's gotta get a little better right???? For now though that sock has been my "skirt" and my best friend!

My kids are in the same school district I was as a kid. I dread going to their school events because I know I will see countless people I went to school with. Whether I liked them, knew them, or not, I feel ashamed and embarrassed that I look the way I do. I can't wait until I no longer keep my eyes down to try to hide my face.

So many thoughts we all share

How about just standing up without bringing the toilet seat with you because in the few short moments you sat on it, it tried to become a part of you!

Thank you! This small amount is very hard to maintain. Ugh. Hopefully I will get more new when I see the surgeon and will have less stress.

Anyone else? I did the 3 months of monitored weight loss. I had to lose 6 lbs over the 3 months, I lost 9. Saw the Dr mid July. Took her 2 weeks to get my referral. I see the surgeon next week. I have gained 3 to 4 lbs. There are so many factors as to why but I don't like excuses so I won't even get into them. Has anyone else had this happen and how did the surgeon address it? I plan on busting my butt this week to get them off again, I just wanna be prepared in case 1 or 2 linger. I always thought 6 lbs wouldn't be a big deal, but it was...