puddin

Awesome!!! Can't wait to get there. I'm hoping to be there in February!

Carlene, you're like this wise, wise person. Yes, it could be a self-esteem issue, but I think it's also related to a sex addiction. I had this prior to getting fat as well. But yes, I enable these men to use me, but they knew I was using them, too. I won't return their calls. I went out with the 6'8" man last night. I just sat and compared him to my ex-boyfriend all night in my mind. I'm simply not ready to date again. A clean slate for me means no dating for a few months, I think. I need to face this problem head-on, rather than masking the feelings with someone else's company. I'll keep busy, but leave men out of the equation for at least a month.

LOL. Carlene, you have NO idea how good your psych skills are. Yeah, he told me he has a sex addiction. He does. But I sort of do too. It was controllable for several years... I think I tried to control it with the weight gain... but now that the weight is off it's back. I've had 2 non-committal makeout sessions with guys this week - one that resulted in 'services' rendered for one man. It's not a good thing. I'm working on it. I'd never tell these kinds of things to people I actually knew. Glad this site is anonymous! You're also right about his rotten relationship skills. He called me on Tuesday because he was in the depths of sorrow (for a reason too long to go into here) and wanted moral support. At this point I was in 'friend' rather than 'girlfriend' mode for him. Yeah, he has some selfish points to him. And the way he said 'athletic' I knew he meant skinny. So maybe in a couple months, after the tummy tuck and boob job, I'll email him a photo with the caption 'Athletic enough?' Kidding.

Chrispy, we did WAAAAY more than make out the whole weekend. That's what hurts the most. Since he's a man of emotion, when he says 'I love you' in the heat of passion, he means it. But then two hours later he doesn't. He may be a frog, I don't know. It may take some time to see that. I'll REALLY, REALLY try to stay strong and not contact him. We've not been good at that the last few days.

HAHA! Well girlfriend, that's nothing that a little botox and some spanx and a pushup bra can't fix. Believe me, hun, it's ALL good. Right now I'm doing spanx to hold in the excess skin, and you wouldn't BELIEVE how many people are like "You have such a nice shape." They just think I dropped 20 pounds overnight. Plus, the spanx double as my chastity belt - LOL. Those suckers are hard to take on and off. And about the botox... girl, it's affordable now and TOTALLY worth it.

Carlene Yeah, let me be blunt about it. The first night we got together, we made out... a lot... which is okay. But the whole time he kept taking his pants off. I'd say "put your pants back on!" Then he'd say "sorry baby" and put em back on. That night, however, he took them off and I just did what he wanted me to do. I cried after. But then the guilt left me the next day and we did it over and over again for the next several days. I'm not a girl who believes in sex before marriage and he doesn't believe in that either. But together, we just sort of forgot about our morals. So we sort of mutually agreed last Sunday to break it off, but within the hour we were at it again, and for the next 2 days and he was talking about us getting together again. It wasn't until everything hit the fan on Tuesday that I said, "Please don't call me again." And you know, your'e right about the new man. He's a good guy. And I get along well with him. He's much better for me, but I'm going to take it slow this time. With the Band, The inclination that I have that weight is a factor was when he told me he liked "athletic" girls. I AM athletic, I just don't QUITE have an athletic body yet. I've been seeing him for 2 months now, and it has been quite an intense 2 months. We just connected right off... it was incredible, but I really think at this point that I like him more than he likes me. I hate that feeling. We go back and forth with that. But Tuesday, after he calls me for moral support, I could tell he still wanted a sexual relationship with his ex-girlfriend. I talked the man out of it and he's stayed strong, but it still hurt me very much to hear it. I really do still love him, but maybe time will cure me of that. But maybe in a few months he will have grown spiritually and we could make it work. Heavens, though, I hope I don't still love him in a few months! Liberty What's immature about this relationship of yours? I'm not in the best spot to give relationship advice right now, but if you can't stand the boy and his immaturity, then WHY stick it out? That's something that's going to last for awhile. What's so immature about him? I hate to say it ladies, but I had to go through a few "throwaway" dates while I was bigger just so I could train myself on how to date again for when I got skinny. I'll tell ya, there's sure a lot more fish in the sea when you lose your weight. I'm hoping as the next 20 pounds come off (and the tummy tuck and boob job happens) that the fish will come swarming in and I can just pick the best filet. Oh heavens, I sound like a guy.

The sizes are dropping so much faster for me now, in the smaller sizes, then they were before. It took FOREVER for me to get to an 18. I think I was 210 pounds and still an 18. But now it's like every 10-15 pounds I drop a size. I went from a 16 to a 14 in one month, and now the 14's are getting pretty loose. I'll probably be a 12 in mid-January. So... my point is that in the beginning, even for awhile, your size doesn't seem to change a ton. People don't even notice the weight loss sometimes, too. But when you get down there, things change rapidly. My face shape changed from round to heart-shaped in like 2 months. People don't recognize me... people I know well but haven't seen for awhile. It will happen for you, just keep on it!

Thanks hun. The guy in my photos is the guy I just broke up with. I need to take his pics down. I have a couple ex's on that photo site LOL. It's like my gallery of long lost men. Time is exactly right. Maybe I'll meet someone I like more. The date I have on New Year's eve should be fun. He's very cute, very fun, respects women, he's 6'8"! And he's SOLID. So I hope he can get my mind off of all this. Maybe in a couple months, if I haven't found someone I like more, I'll ring him up and see how things are. He told me he wouldn't date for like 6 more months. I thought that was a good idea for him.

Another question: Too early to date again? I still am in love with this guy, but I have another date lined up for New Year's Eve. Am I dragging someone else along for MY emotional rollercoaster ride?

I broke up with him because... well... we can't seem to control ourselves around each other. Both of us have compromised our values with each other. We can't seem to be together without doing bad things. Not only that, but, see, it seems like one day he loves me and can't get enough of me, the next day he wants 'space'. He also said some hurtful things to me on Tuesday, things that make me think he's still in lust with this woman he had relations with. He says he loves me for me, but at the same time, I think the fact that I'm still like 20 pounds overweight is a factor for him. I need to keep busy, I really do! Today I just have strep throat (from my ex-boyfriend, Merry Christmas) and I'm home NOT being busy. But thanks for the support and advice. I'm going to try SOMETHING to get my mind off.

I don't know, dude. People judge you for these things. I mean... you're going to be KNOWN as the lap band guy. Sure you want that kind of attention?

I've heard to drink plenty of water and don't smoke. Other than that, not sure anything helps. Some will tell you exercise helps. I've been told by plastic surgeons that NO, it doesn't help with skin elasticity. I lost over 100 pounds fairly slowly, and a doc told me I'll still need a lower body lift, despite drinking plenty of water and not smoking. It has a lot to do with genes and age.

Thanks for the sweet compliment! I'm sure as you lose the weight the PCOS will either go away or diminish. And yes, Dr. Hansen is fantastic. But I have been MORE impressed with the staff. They really, really care about you.

Welcome to LBT! My life is not the same since losing weight - not one little bit! If you can make some real lifestyle changes, the band can be an amazing tool!

Mypov, we have the same band doc! He's amazing. They are the best in Utah Anyhow, I had PCOS my whole life until I lost about 50 pounds. I know it has disappeared. All the symptoms have disappeared. Blood sugar and triglycerides normal now. Periods back to normal... The weight loss can fix it!

Josy I have been in your place my entire life (except for the bulemia). It wasn't until I was in the low 200's that I even started dating again. I hadn't been kissed for 8 YEARS! So I know what you mean. I am also alone this Christmas. I was sort of engaged until Tuesday, but now I'm as lonely as ever. I think if we are able to focus our efforts this season on other people, we may be able to actually have a decent season. I'm going to get out there and do some service for the next few days. Seeing the blessings that we have despite our problems can really help to cheer you up! Maybe that could help you.

Oh dear people, this is impossible! I met someone today I'd gone out with a few weeks ago with the EXPRESS purpose of just making out. I thought "nothing wrong with a little noncommittal makeout action," but I'm wrong! I just can't stop there. It's cold turkey men for me. No more for me!

My recent boyfriend likes his women athletic. I didn't tell him until a month into our relationship that I was as heavy as I used to be. I KNOW he wouldn't have asked me out before, but it doesn't bother me. I probably wouldn't go out with a really heavy guy right now, either. HOWEVER, if we hadn't have had that base to our relationship yet, I think he would not have wanted to continue to date me, knowing how heavy I used to be.

Thanks woman! Yeah, it was me who did the basement in the tropical theme. When I consider what I get from sex that I'm addicted to, it's honestly that feeling of pleasure. When I'm with my (now ex) boyfriend I need it like 10 times a day, and so does he. We are not a good combination. We broke it off yesterday. It was way too intense. Plus... he's a manipulator I've come to realize. Anyhow, now I'm going crazy. I'm looking everywhere thinking "yeah, I'd do him." How awful is that??? I feel like a guy (no offense fellas). I can't control this. I don't want to gain this weight back to have to control this problem again!

My goal weight keeps changing as soon as I hit the goals and I see that I actually want to lose more. Right now the goal is 160, but it may get lower once I reach that. My first goal was 206 (100 pounds less than my starting); once I reached that I moved it to 185; once I reached that I moved it to 160. I honestly think I won't be satisfied until I'm at like 145. I know that's fairly low for my height, but I have a bit of an obsession. I'm having a tummy tuck and a bunch of lipo in Feb. I think that should take me down pretty quick.

I don't own one. I belong to a gym that owns one, though - LOL. Sometimes it's too cold to jog outside, but I can go MUCH longer outside because the scenery changes.

Marie, I used to be the same! My WHOLE LIFE!!! I hated exercise. Hated it. As soon as I started to lose weight I think my hormones changed and I kinda liked it... just a little. Fast forward to today. I LOVE LOVE LOVE exercise. i'm addicted. I do about 2 hours of it a day. I jog for an hour each day and do another hour of either cardio or weight training. Those endorphins are VERY addictive. Oh, one thing that helped me to like it was to buy an mp3 player and have an "exercise" playlist with my favorite pump-me-up music. Gets me motivated when I exercise. People laugh at me on the treadmill sometimes, dancing as I jog and doing air guitar. I'm a total dork. I don't care. It's why I love it!

I was probably 316 at my highest, 306 when I got my band, and now I'm close to 180!!!! WAS a 26/28, now a 12/14!

I'm so excited that I had to post! February is the magic month for me. I'm going to Pasadena and they're going to liposuction and contour my entire torso, front and back (except for my boobs, of course). And THEN they're going to remove the apron of skin at the bottom of my stomach. Not getting a tummy tuck, just skin removal after the lipo. Apparently that's how they do it if you haven't had kids yet. The doc and I both figure I'll be about a size 6 or 8 come March!!! (I'm losing another 23 pounds before the surgery). I think I was 2 years old when I was last a size 6. This is a dream to me. I started off at a 26/28! Probably at the same time I'll be getting a nice breast enlargement (done through the belly button, of all places). They didn't end up sagging after all the weight loss, but they were always small - they're just even SMALLER now! I wanted to go to a small "D" cup. Is that too big? Anyone have an opinion on that? I realize I've gone overboard with this weight loss. The family is a tad worried about me right now, in so many ways. I keep losing at a rate of about 3 pounds a week because I just don't eat (no desire) and I exercise hard for about 2 hours a day. I have this crazy tenacity when I set my mind to something, even if it's sometimes to detriment. But right now, to me, the loss is SO worth it! Plus, I might be getting married pretty soon, and I've got my eye on this gorgeous vintage dress that happens to be a size 8, in our sizes (crosses fingers!).

Hey, thanks for your feedback, everyone! I will definitely try the seed trick. Also, my hips aren't large, but my waist is small, so I think a large C might do the trick (which you get at a size D at Victoria Secret anyway!). My BF doesn't have to live with wearing the boobs, so it's my decision!