sksh

So here is my story.. It's long post but I really have no one to talk to that can understand me.... in 11 Jan 2015 I had the Sleeve Surgery and my new life started.. I started a new lifestyle and I was working out I start losing weight really good. everything was more than amazing and I felt like I died and went to heaven. the dream of my life was coming true .. all I ever want is coming true and happening in real life not just in my dreams. I hit my idol weight .. from 125kg to 55kg in a year and couple months. and I was still living a healthy life and a feeling great. I felt so strong and controlled over my life and everything..nothing can stop me. I resigned from my job and I stayed home searching for new job but still I kept eating healthy and working out, nothing changed. then I found the perfect new job.. The place were I always wanted ... I worked so hard to prove myself and make them re-contract with fulltime contract.. the thing is I forgot myself .. I wasn't eating or even drinking water ... in only 3monthes I went from 55kg to 30kg without even trying... I then tried to fix this and get on track again but it was too late... my body gave up ,, I was rushed to the ER my levels were all zero.. my heart was in bad shape surrounded with water which make it hard for it to beat .. I was diagnosed as Anorexia..... My brain was effected by all of this too I guess .. If you ask me "Sarah what happen back in Nov and Oct of 2016" ... I have no idea...I wasn't even there.... I can't remember this 2 months at all .. for me i felt like I was asleep for 2 months .... It was hell .. for my mom and my uncle who had to take care of me....The brainless weak body .. I couldn't move my head it was always hanging there :/ and I was talking hardly but it wasn't me ...I can't remember anything .. nothing .. I gained over 30kg since I was eating so fast and a lot till I really pass out .. my mom had to hold me every time I was eating.....I was eating all time and when I start walking they had to lock the kitchen cuz against my will, I will eat every damn thing....without even feeling or knowing it.. now I weight +80kgs... and my appetite is still crazily wild and I can't control it.......I went to a doctor to seek help, he told me my stomach is bigger now (after only 2years from surgery) and he refused to fix the damage by surgery .. he gave me a strict diet and that's it..even when I told him that I can't control my appetite anymore.. I have a massive depression from my weight and the loss of control over everything I had to go to consultant .. I tried..and I'm still trying to kill myself ... I see no point of re-trying .. No point of living.. myself steam is Zero .. I refuse to meet or talk to people anymore.... I simply can't .. I'm a big fail the only success and the thing I wanted the most and made me proud is losing weight ... Losing what I achieved made me feel like I lost everything..lost hope, lost motivation to live. and worst I lost faith in God .. what I ever asked for? nothing ... the only thing I wanted so bad and I worked hard for ,, was taken from me in the worst and must painful way ever...what have I ever did to deserve this? I have no one to talk to and share my feeling to ... and you guys are my last place to share my feeling with...

Exactly that's my feeling,.. Everything inside me is fighting... Even my mental state is not clear yet..One day I say okay I'll do it re-start again..the Other day I'll say screw it and eat non-stop..... I stopped fallowing the rules.....and I think it's the reason for making m stomach larger now....I can eat like the old 125kg Sarah again........... To be honest with you.. I see nothing in my life to be grateful for anymore...But I'll try... Thank you so much..Just the fact that you all stopped and read this post means a lot to me <3

I did and I talked to my Doctor but he refused ... I tried to do the liquid diet... I failed :[ I also went to consultant, I told him I hate losing control over my eating habits I hate the fact that I can't do anything regarding me gaining weight .. still he gave me pills that increase appetite..................So I stopped taking them and going to him....... I did tried to go to the gym...my member **** is gonna expire soon and I only went there 5 times...When ever I will go I ended up crying and have no energy and when I actual go I'mm come back with bad mood and extremely hungry. and I do use fitnesspal, I hope it will help.... Thank you for your respond :[ it means a lot to me <3

I lost it .. all hopes and motivations ,,, the only path I see is dark.. I'm really tired od this .. every time I try and try I lose. Thank you for your replay. I'm sorry for the long post but I really just needed to get out of my chest ...

I don't even felt the times of binging... they did that test where you drink something and X-ray .. I forgot the name of the test "You are beautiful & WORTHY." Thank you <3 But I'm really not.... and I hope soon everything will end.. Thank you <3

First of all I'm so sorry for reposting this but I guess it belongs in here and I need more answers (/^\) so many kind people answered me but I will love to here more~~ also check So Hello everyone~~ I needed to share this with you guys~~ I'm addicted to coffee .. all my life. I start drinking coffee back after 6 months from surgery and I drink it everyday (shot of espresso with 150ml of nonfat milk and stevia) I kinda got tired of it I wanted to change so I searched and I found this 2 products which basically Protein powder with real coffee as they claim!! Before I go on I wanted to show you this guys because - I wanted to see what you think about Protein Powder - what is your experience with it and your story - is it helpful or safe? - what your surgeons and your nutrition told you about protein powders as well~~ So take your space and share and just lets chat about them~~^^ First: javapro It comes with so many flavors. Second: click It comes with so many flavors also. *First I would like to say that 31g and 28g is way too much for a less than a cup which I usually drink (150ml) .. so I will use 15g max, which means half of this info!!! So now in the first one I don't know .. I think there is so much protein? The second one its great but there is a lot of sugar!!! what you guys think? - would you use one of them? or did you use one? - did anyone ask a nutrition about them before? - are they good for us or not? I really will appreciate if you guys give me some answers or share some of your opinions about them and about protein powders^^ Have a nice day~~

Hello everyone, I'm not sure if this belong in here or not.. But I really do need some support.. Most people around me don't understand the surgery and what we go through so they really don't understand what I'm going through. Its been almost a year for my surgery (11 Jan 2015). I'm on diet since I did the surgery and all... There have been an ups and downs but I'm trying my best to survive... I lost weight .. losing weight become harder this days and I'll tell you why in a min..!!! my problem is .... I look at myself at the mirror and feel like this won't last...!! I'm so afraid that I will lose all of this someday.. all I can think of is .. what if some day I gain weight again .. what if I return to my old weight.... All I can think of is pretty and beautiful thing don't last. and because of this I start to have so much guilt and I cry myself out whenever I eat anything..and I only eat healthy food. I'm afraid I will stretch my stomach again .. I'm so scared it will expand .. Every meal turns into a hug guilt and I start asking myself "why did I eat this and that now my stomach will expand.." I stopped going out with my friends and even visiting people because I'm afraid I'll eat and I will ended up expanding my stomach.. I locked myself in my house...... I start to eat less than 1000 calorie a day and I do exercise.. I start to feel dizzy when I stand up .. every time.. I don't loss weight like before .. my process become slower and slower and my body now is craving all kinds of food especially sweets and chocolate..!!! I'm tired. I'm really tired of over thinking..tired of having to cry after every meal.. I'm really tired but it's out of my hands .. I don't want my stomach to expand I don't want to get to the old weight I'm tired of being dizzy most of the day and being afraid I will faint someday.. I do a blood testing for vitamins and all every 3 months .. everything is okay but I still feel dizzy .. and there have been some days when I actually faint!! If anyone went through this please tell me how can you get over this? I want to eat a meal without crying and feeling bad... I want to eat my treat without crying and turn my day to bad day!!! I tried to stop treating myself but I couldn't .... "I use healthy/diet chocolate and sweet only" I'm sorry this is a long post but I'm really desperate.

I will start taking some Protein shakes that for sure!!

That's because you only eat one meal a day. The 60+g protein/day is universal, you don't need to talk to your surgeon to verify. So is the MINIMUM 64oz Fluid rule. So is the taking Vitamins and getting regular bloodwork done to check for deficiencies. These are basic guidelines for all WLS patients forever. You WILL NOT stretch your sleeve eating appropriate portions (2-6oz) of healthy food. You WILL NOT stretch your sleeve drinking fluids. This includes Protein shakes if that's what it takes to meet protein goals. You seem to have developed a serious eating disorder. If you can't bring yourself to nourish your body appropriately, you need to seek professional help. Call any therapist, psychologist or counselor you can find. If they don't feel they can help you, perhaps they can refer you to a specialist that can. Please get help before you do some serious, irreversible damage. I do feel I'm doing something bad.. I'm trying to change this I don't want to harm myself !!! it takes time .. but I'm trying to fix this i'm aware of it >< but this fear is still there so i'm trying to change this!

My doctor never mention how many grams should I be taking!!!even when I once showed him a protein powder just to see what he think of it..he said I don't think you need it your protein in your food in enough :/ so I don't know what the Idol grams for me >< I really should talk to him !!!!! when I first did the surgery I was feeling fine .. but this days I'm always dizzy, lazy and I have no energy What was your starting BMI? what BMI stands for (/^\) when I did the surgery I first was 125kg :/ how can I know :X

My doctor never mention how many grams should I be taking!!! even when I once showed him a Protein powder just to see what he think of it..he said I don't think you need it your protein in your food in enough :/ so I don't know what the Idol grams for me >< I really should talk to him !!!!! when I first did the surgery I was feeling fine .. but this days I'm always dizzy, lazy and I have no energy

I have some Quest bars and atkin bars as snack and I had them for so long but I didn't eat them!! I have a fear of stretching my stomach lol also I made some new I snack from fruits ~~~~ frozen grape (yummy) taste just like candy you should try it *_* or banana Ice cream~~~ I try to avoid nuts I feel like they have so many calories (/^\) Also I try to avoid carbs and I focus more on protein! I feel much better now .... I guess :/ but my sleeping schedule is upside down and I only get one meal a day (/^\) which is some protein and veggie (/^\) my craving with sugar is better less than before but sometimes I just want some chocolate >< but I don't eat lol as I said before I start to get this fear of stretching my stomach ^^;

90g? I eat around 30g or 35g a day only I do take multivitamin everyday~ That is way too low. Dangerously low in my opinion. 60 grams would be an absolute minimum, but most people need at least 80 grams to 100 grams to lose weight efficiently. I think it's a low grams of protein also! put I don't know how many I should take! but thats why I start drinking my coffee with protein powder and I hope it will help . this days I only eat one meal a day and that's why my grams are low ...

90g? I eat around 30g or 35g a day only I do take multivitamin everyday~

I think i'm not eating enough protein + Water also :/

really T_T finally I found someone T_T your nutrition is okay with it? how is it? dose it have that smell like the Protein powder strong smell? dose it make you full for at least an hour? sorry i ask too much (/^\) Are you asking if my nutritionist is ok with it? Honestly, I didn't ask. She's not my babysitter. She gives me information and I use that information to make my own decisions. I haven't really paid attention to whether or not it has a smell though. what makes me worry about it is the sugar so this why I ask about nutritionist opinion(/^\) thank you for sharing *_*

Hello everyone~~ I needed to share this with you guys~~ I'm addicted to coffee .. all my life. I start drinking coffee back after 6 months from surgery and I drink it coffee everyday (shot of espresso with 150ml of nonfat milk and stevia) I kinda got tired of it I wanted to change so I searched and I found this 2 products which basically Protein powder with real coffee as they claim!! Before I go on I wanted to show you this guys because - I wanted to see what you think about Protein Powder - what is your experience with it and your story - is it helpful or safe? - what your surgeons and your nutrition told you about protein powders as well~~ So take your space and share and just lets chat about them~~^^ First: javapro It comes with so many flavors. Now the info are for 28g .. but I think 28g is a lot for one cup for us (/^\)? Second: click It comes with so many flavors also. also I think 31g is too much (/^\) So now in the first one I don't know .. I think there is so much protein? The second one its great but there is a lot of sugar!!! what you guys think? - would you use one of them? or did you use one? - did anyone ask a nutrition about them before? - are they good for us or not? I really will appreciate if you guys give me some answers or share some of your opinions about them and about protein powders^^ Have a nice day~~

I used Isopure vanilla before I couldn't handle the smell T^T but it was so good *_* I'm craving coffee and when I saw your post .. I'm now craving coffee even more

I used to do that it tasted so yummy and makes you full for longer~~ but then the brand I use had a strong smell of protein ,,, I couldn't like it anymore and I had to stop T_T lucky I manged to stop drinking from Starbucks or Dunkin Donuts or any other coffee shop .. if I went there with friends or on an appointment with someone or so I order nonfat sugar free latte (/^\) but really! I think the coffee we make ourselves taste much better than Starbucks or Dunkin Donuts I like them both. I don't buy flavored drinks. My fanciest order is dark roast coffee. I often get gift cards for free from Starbucks or Dunks so it doesn't cost me anything. Otherwise I just make my own in the Keruig or coffee press. Keurig is awesome it does have many options

yum sounds yummy *_* I may search more about it as well~~ that what makes me worry about Click actually ~~ Javapro label looks great! I also wonder what it tastes like~~ but I'm afraid it will have that strong protein smell .. I can't handle it T^T and I haven't seen anyone who use it yet!! also they don't over sample packages :/

Seriously I think the coffee we make ourselves taste much better than any other coffee shop!! you can control everything~ the flavor the amount ~~ everything *_*

I used to do that it tasted so yummy and makes you full for longer~~ but then the brand I use had a strong smell of protein ,,, I couldn't like it anymore and I had to stop T_T lucky I manged to stop drinking from Starbucks or Dunkin Donuts or any other coffee shop .. if I went there with friends or on an appointment with someone or so I order nonfat sugar free latte (/^\) but really! I think the coffee we make ourselves taste much better than Starbucks or Dunkin Donuts

So true!! I do need my coffee.. plus 6g for 31g and I will not be drinking 31g a day (/^\) she dose I guess you are right I should try then judge myself to test my stomach also ~~ thank you for sharing *_*♥

really T_T finally I found someone T_T your nutrition is okay with it? how is it? dose it have that smell like the Protein powder strong smell? dose it make you full for at least an hour? sorry i ask too much (/^\)

really? I saw some people on youtube also!