I am struggling with the exact same thing as you...well similar anyway. I don't have the band yet, no appt either...the reason being fear. I need to lose about 70 pounds and I don't know if it is worth the risk. But I am so tired of fighting this battle. If I don't do something different, I know I will just keep gaining. I too am afraid that I might get this band and always be sick because of it or in constant pain...don't know why I think that. I just wish I knew that I would be okay. And then you hear of people who have to get their bands removed and that makes it worse. Still, I want to do this and I guess that is why I am still hanging around trying to make my resolve. I know that doesn't help you much, except to say that you are not alone.