cusoon

I had mine cut off before surgery.

@@Smye, My ex and I lived in the same house for quite awhile after we started dating other people. Plus, we worked for the same company many times through the years, so we could stay close. The people who couldn't accept my relationship with my ex weren't worth my time. It was a great way to screen out the bad ones. We have helped each other financially through the years. Your wife started as your best friend and she should continue to hold that role, even if this transition hurts. Once you take the time to grieve the loss of the marriage, it does get better. We had a rocky couple of years at the beginning. Communicating (especially when it hurt the most) was what made it possible to get through the rough times. Don't expect your friends and relatives to understand at first. They feel like they need to pick sides, and that's not what this type of thing is about. A close girlfriend of mine was married when she came out. She remained living with her ex-husband. When she fell in love with a woman, the three of them lived in the same house until her ex was able to afford to live on his own. They coexisted for years this way. If you put aside what society deems as "normal" for families, you can come up with a solution that works for everyone. My thoughts will be with you. I wish you much happiness.

*Smye, I completely understand what you're going through. I married my best friend and high school sweetheart and we had a beautiful baby boy. We were married young and got along beautifully, but sex always fell short of my expectations. Because we were best friends, we were able to talk honestly and support each other through his realization that he was gay. There was nothing he could do to change and nothing I could do to change him. So we agreed to always love and help each other, plus pursue other relationships. He came out 25 years ago and we are still best friends. I am remarried to a man who makes me extremely happy. He gets along beautifully with my ex-husband. When you love someone, you want them to be happy. To be honest, I am much happier that he is gay. I was never jealous of the men he dated. I hope that 25 years from now, the two of you are still best friends and participating in each others' lives. I am also hopeful you both find new spouses who can accept the strong and loving relationship that you and your wife have. Good luck to you and your wife. She must be very strong to be able to finally admit her truths to herself and to you.

The current written requirements for Blue Shield California state 6 month supervised diet is required. I printed the policy in mid-April. Since then, they have added a preview of their Bariatric Surgery Policies that goes into effect June 30, 2015 that seems to imply that the length of time required for the supervised diet is to be determined by the individual doctor and patient circumstances. Does anyone know if the requirement for supervised diet is really changing on 6/30/15? I plan to call Blue Shield on Tuesday to see if anyone can tell me, but my prior attempts at getting phone info haven't been great. I'd be thrilled if I can get approved before the end of the 6 months, but I'd also need to speed up saving money. I think my copay is going to be about $4500.

The chocolate bread pudding 4-pack was great. I had them shipped.

It's worth a telephone call to your insurance company. I tried to look for a policy update for Anthem online and couldn't find anything newer than January. The January policy requires 6 months.

I'm use a "Walk at Home" dvd, so I can walk regardless of the weather. It's quick paced and incorporates enough movements to give you a good walking workout. You can also get the same videos on YouTube for free if you've got a little space in front of your computer to walk.

I made arrangements with the nurses to help me put my underwear and an incontinence pad on as soon as surgery was done. I was worried about leaking when I was getting settled in my room. They were exceptionally cooperative. As soon as I started to come to, my nurse helped me to get situated. As far as a bra... You probably won't be able to wear in the hospital. They check your incisions regularly and a bra is going to interfere. Plus, it's probably going to be very uncomfortable hitting your incisions. I'm 3 1/2 weeks post op and am still just wearing a pull on sports bra because my regular bras hurt. I'm a 46L, so I'm exceptionally sympathetic of you not wanting your boobs hanging in the hospital. If your hospital has the big gowns, it really won't matter. I promise. By the way... If you're looking for a comfortable and supportive pull on sports bra for after surgery, the best I've found is at http://www.makingitbig.com/product/481/plus-size-bras they come in multiple colors and go up to size 8X.

Good luck. I hope they approve it quickly.

I was surprised at how easy it was to deal with the Blue Shield reps. They were super nice about me calling daily to check the status.

Submitted on Friday afternoon. They approved on Wednesday. I called Blue Shield directly to find out about the approval. I was too anxious to wait for written confirmation or my surgeon's office to call me.

My surgeon submitted early and they approved early. In California, they just don't care about the supervised diet any more. Yippee!

I spoke with my surgeon about incontinence at the hospital because I was worried about leaking when getting in and out of bed. She doesn't use catheters. She made a note for the nurses to help me into underwear and a pad directly after surgery to avoid any issues. She acted like this was a pretty normal issue. It just makes me feel more relaxed to know this won't be an issue.

Blue Shield of California really did eliminate all requirements for medically supervised diet. I got approved the first time I submitted. My surgery date is July 9th. This is much better than the late October date I expected.

I got my date. July 9th.

My doc only requires 2 days of clear liquid because she requires weight loss before e dr scheduling surgery. She thinks a 2-week pre-op diet only makes sense if there wasn't weight loss in advance.

financing is the easiest answer, but not everyone can qualify. If your credit isn't good enough to qualify for financing... 1. Share your story on GoFundMe or a similar site and let friends, family or even people on this forum chip in for the cause. $3000 should be pretty easy to raise. I'd donate to your cause. 2. Figure out the weekly amount you need to save. Put that amount into a savings account each week. The smaller weekly amount makes it easier to find ways to save. Pack your lunch, eliminate Starbucks, stop luxury things like manicures and hair styling. 3. If you own a vehicle, you can get a title loan even if you have terrible credit. The interest is crazy high, but it might be worth it. 4. Ask the hospital finance department if it's possible to pay half up front and monthly payments after surgery.

I'm July 9th.

Sunny San Lorenzo, California.

Kaye21, there may be some lag time before the private group goes live.

Santa Rosa is too far away for in person support, but I'm here via the forum, email or phone.

marissa75, what part of NoCal are you in?

I'm in San Lorenzo. Where are you?

GottaBeMe, where are you having your surgery done? I'm in Pleasanton at Valley Care.

I'm Tammy Valentine in San Lorenzo, CA. My Facebook page is https://Facebook.com/tmackeyvalentine