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eyhornmom

Gastric Sleeve Patients
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Everything posted by eyhornmom

  1. I have lurked here since my surgery, but I've made very few posts. I'm struggling, and when I read others' posts I feel guilty that I'm struggling. I read all these posts about how happy people are after their surgery and how they are doing so great and love life so much. I'm mostly glad I had the surgery. I've been at a healthier weight for about 2 years now although I've never gotten to my goal weight. When others see me or talk to me, including my surgeon, they tell me how great I look and how good I've done. What the surgery has done for me mentally has been so opposite of what everyone sees on the outside. I realized after surgery that my weight was really a symptom of much deeper problems. I guess I had this idea that if I lost the weight everything else in life would be perfect and fall into place. My experience has been much different than that. I have discovered that I have major depression and serious anxiety. I was able to cover it up for years by eating. If I was depressed, I ate. Then I would be depressed about my failure to lose weight and control my eating, instead of dealing with other issues. If I was anxious, I ate. The more anxious I was, the more I ate. When I had marital problems, I ate. Then I blamed myself for the problems, whether they were truly my fault or not (i.e. infidelity). After surgery, I had no more coping mechanism. The first year after surgery was the hardest. I got to a really great place with myself, and I was losing weight and beating the battle with eating. In the midst of my healing, my relationship with my husband changed. He didn't know where he fit in with my new found confidence and independence. He became increasingly angry and this drove a wedge between us. This summer something happened that rocked our marriage. We have been working on fixing things and healing, but I find myself personally back in the same place I was before surgery. I'm using food to cope, and as a result, I've gained 19 pounds from my lowest weight. I'm still a far cry from where I was before surgery, but I'm terrified of getting back to that place. Since surgery, I have been diagnosed with major depressive disorder, generalized anxiety disorder, and dependent personality disorder. This gives me knowledge of what I need to work on, but it's still a daily battle. Every day I get up and plan to do better with my eating. I plan to workout at least 3 times a week. I plan to go back to the basics that I used right after surgery. But every day, I end the day disappointed with myself for failing. The battle is mentally, and physically, exhausting. I guess I need to hear that others have had similar problems (not that I want anyone else to suffer), but sometimes I feel like I'm the only one experiencing these feelings. I'm really struggling. It gets a little harder every day to keep fighting the battle, but I'm not going to give up.
  2. I have lurked here since my surgery, but I've made very few posts. I'm struggling, and when I read others' posts I feel guilty that I'm struggling. I read all these posts about how happy people are after their surgery and how they are doing so great and love life so much. I'm mostly glad I had the surgery. I've been at a healthier weight for about 2 years now although I've never gotten to my goal weight. When others see me or talk to me, including my surgeon, they tell me how great I look and how good I've done. What the surgery has done for me mentally has been so opposite of what everyone sees on the outside. I realized after surgery that my weight was really a symptom of much deeper problems. I guess I had this idea that if I lost the weight everything else in life would be perfect and fall into place. My experience has been much different than that. I have discovered that I have major depression and serious anxiety. I was able to cover it up for years by eating. If I was depressed, I ate. Then I would be depressed about my failure to lose weight and control my eating, instead of dealing with other issues. If I was anxious, I ate. The more anxious I was, the more I ate. When I had marital problems, I ate. Then I blamed myself for the problems, whether they were truly my fault or not (i.e. infidelity). After surgery, I had no more coping mechanism. The first year after surgery was the hardest. I got to a really great place with myself, and I was losing weight and beating the battle with eating. In the midst of my healing, my relationship with my husband changed. He didn't know where he fit in with my new found confidence and independence. He became increasingly angry and this drove a wedge between us. This summer something happened that rocked our marriage. We have been working on fixing things and healing, but I find myself personally back in the same place I was before surgery. I'm using food to cope, and as a result, I've gained 19 pounds from my lowest weight. I'm still a far cry from where I was before surgery, but I'm terrified of getting back to that place. Since surgery, I have been diagnosed with major depressive disorder, generalized anxiety disorder, and dependent personality disorder. This gives me knowledge of what I need to work on, but it's still a daily battle. Every day I get up and plan to do better with my eating. I plan to workout at least 3 times a week. I plan to go back to the basics that I used right after surgery. But every day, I end the day disappointed with myself for failing. The battle is mentally, and physically, exhausting. I guess I need to hear that others have had similar problems (not that I want anyone else to suffer), but sometimes I feel like I'm the only one experiencing these feelings. I'm really struggling. It gets a little harder every day to keep fighting the battle, but I'm not going to give up.
  3. I am a little over a year out from surgery. A couple weeks ago, I went to the ER with nausea and pain in my abdomen mostly on the right side and wrapped around to my back. They took blood, urine, and did a CT scan. They said nothing came back abnormal. The on-call surgeon from my surgeon's office talked to me and they determined it is "probably" an ulcer. They sent me home with protonix and carafate. I had to stopped taking the carafate after a couple of days because the pills were getting stuck in my throat. I'm taking over the counter antacids instead, but still taking the carafate. Anyway, today the pain and nausea are back. I do have an appt with my surgeon tomorrow, but I'm concerned about the dr at the ER just assuming it's an ulcer. I've never had an ulcer before, so I don't really know what it feels like. I haven't had any problems with acid reflux since surgery until the last couple of weeks. Anyone else have a similar experience? Any suggestions on things I should ask the dr. at my appt tomorrow to make sure this gets completley taken care of? Sent from my SM-N910P using the BariatricPal App
  4. eyhornmom

    Ulcer or something else

    No, I don't have my gallbladder. Sent from my SM-N910P using the BariatricPal App
  5. The one thing I wish I would have been more prepared for were the emotional struggles after surgery. Even though I knew it was coming, and I'd already made changes, I struggled with the change in the relationship I had with food. I didn't really realize what a huge part of my life food was. It was almost like mourning the loss of a friend. I still struggle somewhat, and I think I probably always will, but counseling helped me a lot durung this time.
  6. eyhornmom

    Medication Absorption

    I was taking a medication for depression for years before surgery. After surgery it seemed to stop working and things were really bad for awhile. My dr. even increased the dose and it still didn't help. Finally he switched me to a new med and it has made all the difference in the world. I would definitely talk to your doc and see if there might be something else you can try.
  7. I had my 3 month post-op appointment last week. I asked my dr. how many calories I should be eating and he said 1200-1400. That seems high to me. Previously I had been reading 900-1000, but I had been stuck for awhile. About how many calories does everyone eat?
  8. I made low fat broccoli and beef for dinner tonight. Within 15 minutes of finishing dinner I started not feeling well. I left to take my daughter to band practice and on the way the not feeling good became a pain in my stomach. I spent the 5 minutes driving home focusing on not vomiting. When I got home I went straight to the restroom. I then spent the next 30 minutes in pain over the toilet. I vomited mucous several times, then finally some of my dinner came up. The pain has lessened, but I still feel sick to my stomach. I have never had anything like this happen to me in the 3 months since surgery. I don't know if I ate too much, ate too fast, or just at l ate something that didn't agree with me.
  9. eyhornmom

    Grazing

    4 days ago I got back from a 10 day trip to Europe. It was an educational tour with my daughter. Part of the price of the trip was breakfast and dinner everyday, so I had very little control over what food was available to me. Even so, I felt like I did pretty well with my eating. When I got home and weighed myself, I was pleased to discover that I lost 4 lbs! This was probably in large part because we walked 5-10 miles everyday. Anyway, since I've been home, I've really been struggling with hunger, but I'm sure it's head hunger. I end up grazing all day long, and we all know what kind of trouble that can lead to. I am a teacher, so I'm on summer break. Any tips on battling these old eating habits that have crept up on me?
  10. I was attending counseling before surgery, but since surgery I have found it even more important. I have dealt with depression and anxiety for a long time, and I found they both became much worse after surgery. Like Cowgirl Jane said, overeating tends to numb other emotional issues. Without that crutch, I have been forced to face things that I wasn't prepared to face. Many things don't even have anything to do with my weight. I would encourage anyone having the surgery to plan on some counseling pre and post op.
  11. eyhornmom

    Protein Pills?

    I have looked into protein pills before, but they just don't seem worth it to me. All the pills I found only contain 1g of protein per pill. It would get very expensive taking 40 pills a day to get all that protein in. I have found that quest protein chips help me get my protein in everyday. A whole bag contains 21g of protein. They taste pretty good too!
  12. eyhornmom

    How long were you off work?

    I took 1 1/2 weeks. I'm a middle school teacher, so I made sure that we were in the middle of reading a book together, so I could sit most of the day. I found that I wasn't uncomfortable at all, but I got tired very easy. I took a nap when I came home from work every day.
  13. eyhornmom

    Who was your surgeon?

    Dr. Nikolas Brown at Via Christi St. Francis in Wichita, Kansas. All pre-op classes were done through Via Christi weight management. The NUT there is Helen Ramsey.
  14. eyhornmom

    Travel advice

    In 9 days I'm leaving for Europe on a trip with my daughter. We are going to Germany, Poland, and Czech Republic. We will be there for 10 days. I'm really worried about meeting my protein goals each day. We will be with a tour group of approximately 40 people. I don't feel like we will have a lot of flexibility in where our when we eat. Does anyone have any tips or advice on how to make sure I still meet all my nutritional goals while traveling?
  15. I think the biggest problem during recovery was just how tired I was. It took several weeks for me not to be totally exhausted. I wouldn't have been able to do all that the 2 weeks after surgery, but everyone's recovery is different.
  16. eyhornmom

    Regrets?

    It took me almost 8 weeks to get past regretting the surgery. Now 9 weeks out, I'm starting to feel like myself again. It will get better, hang in there.
  17. eyhornmom

    All Over Post Op Problems

    I am 9 weeks out from surgery, and I can tell you it does get better. I know people told me that right after my surgery, and I felt like they had no idea how bad it really was for me. I had some pretty severe depression, and several weeks of regret. I am finally starting to feel like myself again, and I am at a point that I'm happy I got the surgery. Hang in there.
  18. I am 9 weeks out from surgery. Things have been going ok, so far. I have noticed in the last few days that I have been very hungry. I had been keeping around 900 calories, but I have been at 1000-1100 the past few days. I'm still making sure that I'm making healthier choices, I get my protein, my fluids, and watch my carbs. I don't know whether I should be concerned about increasing hunger or not. I'm a little frustrated because I didn't think I was supposed to feel hungry. I'm worried that I'm slowly slipping into my old habits, and I felt like I had made huge progress in moving past those habits.
  19. I actually just told my husband yesterday that I wish I had gotten the bypass. I feel like this has not been what I expected at all. 8 weeks out from surgery I have lost 21 lbs. Total I have lost 61, so most of my loss was pre surgery.
  20. eyhornmom

    Drains?

    I had a drain after my sleeve. I had it until I went to my one week follow up.
  21. eyhornmom

    Feelings pre surgery

    It's normal. When I was checking in I seriously considered leaving. When I walked in the OR I startd hyperventilating a little bit. You will feel better about it when you get through recovery!
  22. I've had a terrible couple of days at work. Pre-surgery I would've come home and eaten lots of fatty food to comfort myself. Now that doesn't even sound appealing to me, but I haven't found anything else to help relax me and get rid of the stress. What do you do now to help relieve stress?
  23. eyhornmom

    What do you do

    @@wannaBthinsoon I'm in Kansas too! It's been cool much longer than normal this year, but I know warm weather is coming.
  24. eyhornmom

    Anyone try new Fairlife milk?

    I love it! The extra protein helps and it tastes great. Even my teenage daughter prefers it to regular milk.

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