LovinSoul

Good that you never had that resentment going on, but @@OKCPirate I do experience that resentment. When people who used to look right through me in social situations now find it appropriate to comment on my appearance, I find it so amazingly rude. For me it highlights the fact that they have serious issues surrounding appearances (particularly weight) as it relates to me specifically. But, of course, so must I if I resent it so much. So there you go! I'd like to say appearances don't matter to me, but clearly I'm concerned about them as well. I hope I never made someone feel invisible, though. That is just such a bad way to feel.

Would it be wrong of me to suggest you not describe this wonderful feeling as "vanity" but perhaps as pride in yourself for a well-done success? I also find myself taking more time with my appearance than I have for many years and, personally, I think this is a sign I am mentally healthier. Self-esteem is important and we gain it when we've made a hard and needed change,which you have done! Don't call it vanity. Everyone appreciates positive regard. It's just so human! Go and enjoy the positive feedback! (and ignore any naysayers, if that happens)

I'm with you. Not a three year vet, but am 18 mos. along the path and this forum has always been the most meaningful to me. I also have had some experience with newbies who have found my responses to their "bad" decisions hard to accept. I hold with being verbally kind and tolerant of difficult times and choices to make, but I am convinced that honesty and sharing your core values is just as key. As a former school counselor, I occasionally had parents call me and say "but what you said to my child made her cry!" in criticism of my work. Often that child entered the room looking for my validation of his/her self-destructive behavior. Yes, I do believe I had learned enough in 40+ years to know when a teenager was lost and needed a bit of direction. The teen was there for someone to listen and acknowledge their pain, but they also wanted me to point possible ways out to them. Sometimes "the way" is hard to hear. My response to the parent was often "change is painful, and sometimes the truth hurts, but it's the only path to growth." Sometimes dealing with the difficulties following bariatric surgery can make us similar to the kids I counseled, lost and looking for guidance, but sensitive to hearing hard truths. As long as we're not vindictive, spiteful, mean or insensitive and try to be empathetic as we respond, we are more than relevant. And if sometimes we are misunderstood in our candor, at least we're being real and genuine. Can't please everyone.

How about ordering more of a normal portion of food (like what your friends order) and boxing most of it to take home? It will cost more, but you'll at least walk out of the restaurant with a meal or two for another time. Maybe you'll have less resentment about the bill? and you won't miss out on the fun!

This is what I do....the Fage offers the protein and no fat and for me, Nature Valley Protein granola adds the crunch...like an eighth of a cup just for the crunch factor. Some blueberries and I'm way happy.

My regrowth is similar and I have all kinds of flyaway, frizz at my neck, and odd pieces. Frustrating,but I'm thrilled it's all growing back in great!(surgery 9/14) My hair stylist has me using something called "Brazilian Blowout" smoothing serum which helps smooth everything when I'm styling to go out somewhere. I also don't wash my hair everyday....too drying. A little trick he taught me to manage the flyaways at my part...Spray a little hairspray on your palms and lightly run your palms over the flyaways toward your hair and they'll go down and stick to your hair.

Yep....my sex drive is back and I haven't felt so interested since before my daughter was born 17 years ago! I also have a very happy hubby. I am post menopausal, but that doesn't seem to be an issue one way or another. I really think it's a head thing for me. I like the new me, feel good about my efforts and successes, and have improved my looks and fitness so much at the gym that I finally have a consistent desire to be touched and loved again. At 60 I'm pretty sure it's not hormonal...lol. Maybe the younger women are experiencing something similar, not anything hormonal?

Well, my week vaca got me.....I'm up to 224 yesterday (Monday). Back and trying hard again, but have a surgery tomorrow....I won't be able to exercise for awhile. Will pretty surely not make goal but can keep trying!

still 220...sigh

Just read this whole thread. Sorry guys...I'm female, but it was just so great to read. I don't presume to understand what the guys need to know or hear about "bedding hotties" but I know a few things, mostly obvious: 1. Physical attraction brought me to every man I ever slept with. Later the other stuff kept me there. For me physical attraction included a "reasonable" BMI. Muscle development/fitness was key, but not body builder type necessary. 2. Men hit on me when I was thinner and not when I was obese. 3. Sex was/is better thinner. My husband is happier with me thinner because of that and my majorly increased confidence, fitness and stamina. Of course...duh. It's a no brainer....if you want "your" 10, be your best you. It's all about you thinking you're okay. Maybe for some guys it doesn't require "thinness" and a "10" face and bod, but just requiires reasonably fit health and great other personal qualities. But for the superficial 1st approach, it really IS about your look for the most part. That being said...the look includes body, but also includes a lot of body language: smile, laugh, confidence. And also not blurting stupidisms. LOL

Thinking you may be a strong Latino man. You sound like my man. Solid post.

@VSGAnn214 Always love your posts but this one is great. So sensible and well-thought out, plus I appreciate your approach that addresses your personal idiosyncrasies and goals. I think we all should worry less about a "cookie-cutter" approach and, while listening to our professional guides, do what makes sense for our own body and weight loss. Good one!

I'm with you....it's just the day to day that peeves me. Always watching.... Couldn't care less what some idiot from my world has to say about my weight loss or what they think.

Today...219.4