Roxie Malone

Guys I'm hurting. There's horrible cramping, getting in and our of bed is a nightmare and at the moment I'm really regretting my decision. How long will this last???

It's *awesome* that you have someone there that's supportive. I was just going off the little info you felt like sharing - as you rightfully should. I didn't mean to sound judgmental and you have my sincere apology if I did - words have no tone in typing. I was just giving an option that seems obvious to me but apparently isn't even to be considered. What I find so interesting is the manipulative, passive aggressive and hostile responses. I'm not ashamed of my journey thus far but the need for someone to dig it up and publish it for the entire thread...? Crosses a line in a scary way. At best it's bullying behavior, meant to shame someone into thinking their opinion has no value and at worst, is dangerous and shows a pathological need to control and manipulate. Either way, I don't feel comfortable or safe staying on this forum which is so so sad given what bariatricpal was designed to do for people. I wish you all the best.

You don't know what I've walked either, just like in your own little rant. I only know what someone posts and go off that information. Someone stated "I need someone around me when I drink because I make really poor food choices". My response was "Perhaps alcohol shouldn't be a factor at all then." If the very mention of living without alcohol is a threat, then I think it requires some deeper self-analysis. Just an opinion.

@Roxie Malone ... it's not *your* value I'm interested in, but the value of your comments and advice to others. When someone is as judgmental as you were earlier about others' options and choices, it's good or readers to know if they've had WLS yet and how they're doing. I'm not a number including my age, how much I make, my weight, my clothing size, how many months ago I had WLS, or any other number. I'm doing great, thanks for being so supportive - and I will continue to show concern when someone states that 1. not drinking is absolutely not an option and 2. they NEED to be supervised when they drink because they make poor choices when drinking. If that offends you, scroll on by.

Dependency issues? Red flag X 3? Total failure? Put a weight ticker up. Seriously I'll share how I choose. Seriously. Everyone is entitle to their option and everyone had been really nice about that. Until now. What a bully. You'd think here of all places people wouldn't demand someone's weight as if what they've lost our gained is an indicator of their value. Wow.

Agreed. I've never heard of a job that forces one to drink or they'll get fired. You can be social and around alcohol without drinking yourself. For someone to go so far as to remove an internal organ but then to break one of the most basic rules of success sounds like a dependancy issue. Just like food addiction, it needs to be addressed. I know for me, being overweight was a constant process of making deals with myself. "Just one can't hurt" or "I'll only eat half, that won't be soooooooo bad". But what 30 years of obesity has taught me is it's never just one and there's NO way that other half will get thrown away. Especial given that one of the posters here said they won't drink without their spouse because they make bad food decisions when they drink?? Red flag. Red flag. Red flag. Everyone here is a grown adult responsible for their own decisions. But going into this with the mind set that "just one is okay" is setting yourself up for total failure.

I want to enjoy a pizza with extra cheese or a big Mac. My doctor was very clear on what would be required if I didn't want gain back what I lost. I'm not trying to be judgmental, but trying to find ways to cheat is a slippery slope.

Alcohol has absolutely no nutritional value. Food is supposed to keep us alive, not give us pleasure. Can you just do without? One drink can equal all you're daily calories.

My doctor let me have yoghurt, frozen popsicles/fudge pops (sugar free) and protein shakes of course. I also am eating frozen grapes, watermelon, and Fruit smoothies. I had surgery Monday.

Update - I'm going on 48 hours and am doing better, but I'm still pretty miserable. I keep getting cramps in my upper chest, they say they had to inflate my chest cavity. Still not 100% behind my decision but you're support is helping.

I'm almost there. After a year of appointments and tests....and I'm freaking. the. hell. out. Any words of wisdom????

Hi everyone. I'm new to this forum and there's a lot of posts just like mine but I feel I have to get it all out there if I'm going to feel better. I've been over weight my whole life and I've recently started all the pre-testing needed to go ahead with surgery - I've chosen the sleeve. I've never really been ill, I'm 33 and healthy - but I wont be if I don't change something. I've been so shocked at the blow back I've gotten when I shared I was getting the surgery. A woman I work with (we're teachers) who was always skinny and a bit of a health nut basically told me I didn't deserve to have my sick leave approved so I could go to my appointments for the pre-op testing. She basically told me it was the equivalent of a tit job. I was furious. For the first time in my life, instead of smiling and nodding, I set her straight - she didn't listen, she looked at me like I was being a drama queen when I told her this would keep me from dying at the age of 45... I'm terrified to even tell my best friend of 20 years that I'm doing this surgery. When I brought it up 5 years ago she made it VERY clear where she stood - and it wasn't in a positive light. Her grandmother weighed close to 300 pounds and was able to loose the weight and has a "if she can do it, you sure as hell can, you just don't make the right choices/changes and you don't take your diets seriously." Then my father decided to put his 2 cents in. He, of course, talked to a nurse who told him every horror story she's ever heard - leaks, people not being able to eat solid foods ever again, not getting enough nutrients from their new eating styles and having serious medical complications. I know he wants me to be safe, and I want people to be honest with me - all of these risks are very real. But it's hard to move forward with such a scary, life altering procedure when your own dad is freaking you out! I'm trying to get around one fact in my head. I know that pre-surgery and for the rest of my life I have to make HUGE dietary changes and I want to! I DESPERATELY want to - but I just keep thinking "if I can make these changes, why can't I just make them without surgery" - that's also what my mom keeps saying to me. Can anyone else relate? I want to make smart choices, I want to make changes while I can, while I'm young (ish) and fit (ish), before I have knee and back issues....but I had an absolute panic attack when I went in for my endoscopy because of the sedation and that's nothing compared to a surgery. Any advice, words of wisdom and encouragement would be appreciated - I'm sure not getting it from any other source in my life.