sgc

I wouldn't say it didn't go well, just not what I had hoped. Once the crowd dwindled down to about 6 people, it was better. These issues are more than just weight. I have had this issue ever since elementary school. Going up and starting conversations has never been a strength of mine. I didn't make many friends in school and I wasn't overweight then. I wouldn't say I excel at one on one but rather I'm better at it. Where I really excel is by texting or written communication. I'm a completely different person when I text or use instant messenger vs face to face. I think I already moved on from this woman at work before I went. I choose online dating because my strength is in written communication. I can approach people easier by messaging them than in person.

It went basically how I suspected it would go. I faded into the background. I talked to her some. Just don't think the fit is there anymore. She's more of a going out and being in bigger crowds and that's just not who I am. She knows a lot more people at work so if this didn't work out, it could be bad for me. I've been working on building an online dating profile. I will start that here soon. This event may not have been a good idea because it plays to all my weaknesses. I need to be more one on one.

I have developed a plan. I imagine that with 26 people, they will start splintering off into smaller groups so I will gravitate to whatever group she is with. From there I will kind of gauge the situation. This thing ends around 10:30. Since it's a work thing, there's no alcohol. I'll assess the situation and see if an opportunity arises and ask her to go for a drink or something after. This is not something I have done before so it remains to be seen if I can follow through on it.

It's actually tomorrow. I did get a look at the list of who is attending and she will be there but so will 25 other people. I'm not good in big crowds even though I know most of the people who will be there. I seem to have an odd personality. I'm so uncomfortable approaching people, but yet I'm a very good public speaker. I will see how this goes. Have been agonizing over what to wear and whether I should shave or not or what time I should arrive. I always over analyze these things. I'm thinking after I will set up my online dating profile. My goal weight was 250 but now I'm done into the 230's so maybe I'll settle around 200. I've been writing a profile in Word as I get ideas. Also started researching what types of pictures to use. Going to get out my tripod and stage pictures like I have an active life.

I was talking earlier about finding a compression shirt and I found one I really like. It's the first shirt that is tight around the chest and also work on my arms. I got a medium and it's nice and tight. Only $16. https://www.amazon.com/gp/product/B00BXBWUCG/ref=oh_aui_detailpage_o00_s00?ie=UTF8&psc=1

I decided to go this work outing next Saturday that I know she will be at. A big part of why I decided to go was that she will be there but another part is that this is something I would have never done before big or thin. There will probably be at least a dozen people there and I can't just avoid socializing all the time. It will be good practice since it's people I know vs trying to engage with new people. Maybe I can get her alone for a minute and talk as well. In any even it will be good practice.

I spread my legs and lower myself in the seat so they rest comfortably on the seat.

My surgeon does other surgeries too. Not sure what there is to like about Fat Doctor. All the episodes I have seen of Fat Doctor, he doesn't even do the surgery laparoscopically. I've also saw the Fat Doctor tell patients they have a 10% chance of dyeing. That doesn't sound too good to me. I never gained weight at any of my appointments with my surgeon so I think I would get along with Dr Now just fine.

His patients survive and they lose weight. What more is he supposed to do?

I'm wondering of this is weight related, but the last two stores I have been in, people have asked me for an opinion on something. They both started off with, "I know you don't work here but..." When I was heavier, nobody solicited my opinion. I'm not sure if it's coincidence or not.

I seem to over analyze things. I'm plotting out how to create an online profile and I want good pictures. I want the pictures to make it seem like I'm with people and natural and not posing for a picture. I don't think she is the type to be vindictive but I don't know. Maybe our paths will cross again on eHarmony. Last time I didn't have any pictures or filled out my profile so she likely didn't know it was me. There is also a company sponsored even coming up in a couple weeks that I'm pretty sure she will be at. Problem is, there could be 20-30 people and I'm not good in crowds and mingling. There's also going to be bowling and I haven't bowled in years because I was too big and it would hurt my back and give me muscle spasms. Even when I did bowl, I wasn't particularly good at it. Not sure If I'm going to go or not.

The reasons I considered dating a co-worker is that we both work from home so we never actually see each other and we both do different jobs and don't need to communicate with each other to do our jobs. My concern is if it doesn't end well, is she the type that will get mad and try to sabotage me at work? I did go on eHarmony and liked it but didn't put much effort in it. I kind of just wanted to poke around. I didn't upload any pics or anything. I like how I don't have to come up with clever pick up lines. I was also matched up with this same woman at work a year ago. The sad part is, I don't have people to take pictures of me so I have to bust out my tripod one of these days and get some updated pics.

I've been to counseling and am on medication so if I'm not ready now, not sure if I will ever be. This is a different situation since i work with this person. If I get rejected, I would still need to work with this person. I really have no clue how to tell if someone is interested in me. I'm really like a 13 year old when it come to this stuff. If I didn't work with her, I probably would have just done it by now. I felt the best approach was to get to know her more and kind of ease myself into it. When I first started this thread I met two women and got rejected and it wasn't that upsetting. Probably because I wasn't into them either. That's another problem I foresee as well. If I do date someone and I'm not interested, I would feel too bad to tell them as such.

When she went to that play Thursday, it seemed to change my attitude. It all started in October when we both happened to be in the office at the same time. I hadn't seen her face to face in months so she noticed my weight loss. A week later she asks me if I wanted to go to a play with her in November. I said yes but it was sold out. She then said there was another one in February but tickets weren't on sale yet. She would get back with me. Didn't really talk until December when she asked me to go to a co-worker going away party. I went and we talked. That's when she was asking me if I was dating anyone but then she said she would set me up with one of her friends. That was probably my chance right there but I didn't take it. She commented numerous times she was glad I came because I was hesitant since I really didn't know the person who this was for really well. She told me to message her on Facebook when I got home. It was snowing pretty good that night and I had a couple drinks. I did and she replied back saying once again she was glad I came. She said they were doing something again tomorrow and would let me know. She never did. I didn't talk to her again until this past Tuesday. I kind of figured she just didn't get tickets to the play or decided not to go. She said she wanted to do something and would get back to me. Thursday I find out she did go to the play she asked me to come to back in November. I guess if she was as interested in me as I am in her, she would have followed through on her invite. I'm kind of noticing a pattern of her inviting me to things and then not following through. I'm sure I dropped the ball somewhere along the line. I have had this problem my whole life and it's the same with men as it is with women. I just can't seem to bond with anybody. I get along with everybody. In my year end review my supervisor even remarked about how well I get along with my co-workers but I have absolutely no true friendships. I'm not sure if it is the weight or what. I had set up an expectation to get down to 250 pounds and am at 245 now so I lowered my goal weight. Maybe another 20-30 pounds. I'm almost 32 and never really dated my entire life. When I first started this thread over a year ago, I was over 400 pounds and contemplating dating. I'm 200 pounds less so I think I'm ready.

I'll see what happens. Being a work thing I don't want to push it too much. She is friends with people in my department so I don't want to make things too awkward. I'm thinking it has become more a woman was finally nice to me and I took it way too serious. If nothing come of it, I just need to continue to work to my goal weight which is only about 30-40 pounds away. Maybe I'll be there by spring and can start the online dating thing again.

They weren't lengthy responses but more just general chit chat. She did message yesterday just to talk about work stuff. Didn't talk to her today because she left early. It appears that she went to a show with some other female co-workers that she invited me to way back in November. That kind of seems like a bummer.

Just go to account settings> notification settings and make sure all the email things are switched to off.

It's really not the fact she has 900 friends but it's possible there could be another guy mixed in those 900 people. I sometimes can't believe I study her Facebook page. I almost feel like a stalker. A while back she liked some post about men with beards so I grew a beard and took a pic and used it as my profile picture. She seemed to like our conversation. Hard to tell through an instant messenger. She seemed to lol a lot. I never would have started a conversation like this when I weighed 470 pounds even when it wasn't face to face. Guess I'm inching closer to normalcy.

This is definitely new to me. I have had crushes on women but mostly they were either married and didn't even know who I was or a celebrity. This is the first time I had a crush on a woman who may actually like me. I can't help but think she may be on a forum or talking to friends asking them if they think I like her. After we talked, I noticed she started liking and sharing some posts about being single on Valentines Day. Obviously she knows I can see it and knows I'm single. She also has like 900 friends so there could be another guy she's in to.

Decided to start a conversation with her today. Seemed to go ok. We agreed we need to hang out together but didn't progress to actually setting a time and place. She seemed to enjoy my jokes and talk about work related stuff. I think I made progress but not sure if I'm close to closing the deal. I guess the best thing I can do is keep working on it. Once I get closer to my goal weight I can try online dating if nothing happens here.

She does post about going out and doing things from time to time. Usually with other women. I have looked over her Facebook page and haven't seen any pictures or posts that indicate she has a boyfriend. She shared one video about having a crush. It was shared to her timeline and not to me directly. She has like 900 Facebook friends though. It was interesting though that it was shortly after I had talked with her. She suggests to me about doing stuff and then doesn't get back to me. Maybe she thinks I'm not interested? If she asked me to help her hide a body I would jump at it.

I spent most of my adult life being overweight and isolating myself from people that I don't have really any friends let alone common ones. I guess the signs are there. She did draw me a picture when I was in the office and weighed 470 pounds. She did ask me to go to a play and a dinner. That doesn't seem like something a woman would ask a guy to do even though I believe some other female co-workers were going to join us. When I did go to the bar back in December, she did say a couple times she was glad I came. She also asked me if I was single. I am pretty sure she is single. I know she was about a year ago. Ironically I was matched up with her on an online dating site. It's hard to stop thinking as the 470 pound guy. She isn't quite petite. She would probably be considered overweight but I think she is the perfect size. She did comment on my weight loss and she said she wanted to lose some weight. Maybe she has the same insecurities as I do?

We both work remotely now so we don't actually meet face to face at work anymore. We have a company messenger thing I can use to talk to her. At least if I get shot down, it won't be in person and I wouldn't have to see her anymore. I sometimes think maybe she is waiting for me to ask her out. It's somewhat sad that at 31 this is so foreign to me. I should have figured this stuff out in 7th grade.

I use Creamette 150 Pasta. Little fewer calories than regular pasta. I also do not care about carbs though.

I eat regular pasta once or twice a week. In fact, I just ate pasta today. 220 pounds later and still doing well. My 90+ year old Italian grandparents eat pasta almost daily. They don't even know what a carb is.