For the past 3 nights Ive been dreaming about this whole thing. Like this past time I dreamed that I was about to have it and I had to use the restroom then all of the sudden it took me forever to clean the toilet, there were tons of people crowding the waiting room. Like Im in line at a spa just making another order. So by the time im finally able to use the restroom an announcment comes over calling my name. So I say forget it i need this done, by the time i make it through the crowd Im in my room the doc has cancled me!!! Refuses to do it and reschedule.. Whats this all about? Ive been telling my self every time doubt comes across my mind that I do need this I need it really really bad, Ive bounced up and down up and down with my weight all my life I need a steady point now, I need my career now... Did any one have to keep convinving them selves to keep doing this? Or have weird dreams? I feel like I need to convince my self cause I slip back in to dream world of maybe just maybe Ill lose the weight on my own this time? I know i wont succeed on my own for sure even though i dropped 46 pounds on my own and maintained it a year now but i cant get passes this point grrrrrrrrrr