WLSResources/ClothingExch

I've seen the commercial for those things many times. It's the name, "...trainer," that gets me. It smacks of "Story of O." Also Barbie's "natural-born" shape during her earlier days, although I don't quite see the difference since she was supposedly redesigned not to give little girls distorted ideas of women's bodies. I'll omit my opinion on the aesthetics, as it's just mine.

Suggestions for the FAQ portion that gives tips for making the most of BP: 1) Write a subject line that gives a clue to the subject matter. Because, and not necessary in this order: a) It saves other users time on clicking in to topics they can't help with or that don't interest them. It will attract those who can make good contributions. c) It will attract those who may learn something along with the OP. d) It will not lose the people [like me] who ignore "A Question" or "Hi, I'm New," et al., expecting a pointless message and are rarely disappointed in that regard. 2) Write messages that clearly communicate what it is that you're asking. Readers will not have to second guess. They'll be saving time if they understand you and can respond in a helpful way the first time. (P.S. I did not put that stupid doodad in there. It forced its way through the door.)

There's much to be said for men of 63 and 64 and 65 and..... The friendly flirting is fab. It gives a lift and a laugh and it's one of the things that tells us we're alive.

@@Elode -- sorry, but I may owe you one. It turns out that I did offend the new person and she swung back, but we ended up becoming pals for the duration of her topic. How easy it can be to find common ground. The good news is that at least I didn't apologize right and left.

@bettiann The surgeon and the person who processes insurance papers at the practice know how to get you covered. Remind them up front that you need the coverage so that their busy little minds don't wander slack off. I haven't had revision, but have been told by some that it may take a couple of attempts. The closest I've come was having my band replaced four days after it was inserted. I had absolutely no involvement in filing the necessary, additional papers with the insurer, but, as far as I know, they consented right off. I say this because I've wondered if they could have told the surgeon just to remove the first band and send me home. Not only did they cover the second procedure, but five inpatient days and whatever else as well.

@@BLERDgirl and @@VSGAnn2014 are giving you the best advice. You may think that, after a short period of weighing out food, you'll recognize it when you see it. It doesn't work that way. Just for fun I've tried many times: Dish it out until I'm sure it's the amount I want, so very sure. Then weigh it and discover how wrong I am. I get pretty close with a couple of things, but not so much that I don't want to keep control. The only thing I can get right every time within .2 oz. is hard cheese. I can spot 2 oz of hard cheese at 20 paces. A food journal makes it easy to keep track of what you've had through the day. Even better, it's a reference for times you may go off track without realizing it. You can look back over a week or so of food logs and learn where you went wrong and then make better choices.

Take a deep breath. If you tell yourself now, a month ahead of starting on the Yellow Brick Road, that you can't do it, you won't, in which case, cancel everything now. The entire process is about making choices. You got to the point where you chose to investigate surgery and kept choosing each of the next steps you've taken. Choose to follow the pre-op diet. I sustained a concussion in early May and was discharged from vision rehab a few weeks ago and from vestib rehab yesterday. I'm not completely healed, so will continue vestib exercises until I am. I've been consumed by the concussion effects, fretful that I'll have them forever, and beginning to feel as though I am the concussion. Not being too dumb, I recalled that overthinking something can make it the entire reality; I choose to think about it minimally and, happy to say, the feeling of being my illness evaporated. Now I'm just a person who happens to be working on the issue. You're overthinking your situation. You don't have to do that to yourself. A very wise NP who worked in a bariatric practice and had a lapband of her own would tell people who feared being unable to stick with a two-week, pre-op liquid diet that "You can do anything for two weeks." The same applies to four or any amount. Focus on your objectives and know now how wonderful you'll feel when you see yourself achieving them. Forget the parts of your history that serve no good purpose for your present or future.

@@no onions How do you do? As much fun as you had doing double-takes at seeing your old clothes, it's as much fun in the telling.

I'm looking at your opener again and see more than I did the first time. Let me tell you now I may sound harsh, but that's not my goal. You're all over the map, going back and forth and back again about everything, and much of what you wrote makes little sense. I don't like to say this, but you seem somewhat childish. That alone says that a psychologist might be a very fine idea. What does it mean to say that your husband didn't change with you? In what ways "should" he have changed? Suddenly he became unattractive to you........He's good looking and has the right anatomy. Which is it? And, if "good- looking" and "right anatomy" are your criteria, well, get out there. Those are available by the thousands. The criteria, however, are associated more often with a 15 year-old deciding on who to go to the prom with. The unaccustomed male attention may make you feel like a kid in a candy store, but how old are you? I'm not telling you what to do, but I do urge you to begin therapy, preferably with someone who has knowledge of the WLS world and major weight loss in general. Lots of people who transform their bodies this way have a colossally hard time integrating body and mind. Often they weren't integrated from the beginning and it's difficult to achieve alone. Therapy is work, but if you do the work, worthwhile. YOu'll be so much happier and better off if you make yourself a cohesive individual. Maybe even consider staying away from the men, or at least giving them less importance, while you discover who you are as an individual in the world. Men are nice, but not life itself. Actually, for someone newly-divorced or who has ended a long-term relationship, time out (more than a month!!) is a big part of becoming reacquainted with one's self as a whole person. Socializing in groups with men is fine, but no dating or messin' around. ["Socializing in groups with men is fine, but no dating" sounds so much like what mother told us about boys when we were 13-ish, doesn't it?]. One woman's opinions. Take what you want, if anything, and leave the rest.

@@KindaFamiliar -- A surprising display of ambivalence or indecision. Had she but world enough and time, this coyness, Sir.... Really, I'm looking forward to your thoughts on this. The views of a few males are in order.

It takes as long to read the poem as it does to watch the kid's spirit die. Other pieces treat the theme as effectively, but without taking up valuable time. Seriously, a lot of the bantering on the boards is great. Sometimes, though, I do feel sorry for the originators who were in earnest and felt lost. Then there are the ones who are so tense over what confuses them, that they just can't see anything else. Some, not all, of those who are merely devoid of humor are on their own. @@Babbs -- I found TL;DR, unlike your cat's-ear arrows.

@@Lexigurl82 -- You're fine. Have the surgery. A surgeon deals with blood all the time. Different area of the body, but he probably is aware of menstruation anyway. He works, as I recall, from around belly button level on up. You'll be fine. When you're lying on the operating table, think of England. You'll be fine. The nurses and anesthesiologist will be moving around you to do preparations. You'll be under anesthesia soon enough, so you won't have to think about anything that's uncomfortable for you. You're probably right about feeling emotional now. Take your mind off things for a few minutes in the morning. Before you leave for the hospital, change the sheets and make the bed look as perfect and inviting as ever. Your mind will be occupied for the time you're working on the bed and you'll have fresh sheets when you get home if you want a nap. Your dopey husband can watch soaps while you get some beauty sleep. Big hugs. When you're feeling up to it, come back and tell us how you are. Laurie

Some blood tests require fasting, others don't. @@Dub is right about the early appointment. Since you don't know about each test on your order, fasting would be the safe thing. If you don't, you may have to return another day, fasted, for the blood draw. There are tests I've been having for years and eons and never remember. I've never noticed an instruction on the order form either way. Some day I may write a reminder note to myself. If I'm fortunate, I'll know where to find it. I end up calling the lab the day before to ask. (None of my doctors draw, as I see them in their faculty practice offices; the outpatient lab is in the building.)

@@northmsgirl -- (1) How much happier the world would be if everyone felt the same about their work. (2) Your first two lines? What a turn-on. I so relish a good game of cat 'n mouse now and then......Your "basically deny everything" rings a recent bell, but with regard to a city agency. I was injured while on its premises and foolishly thought their people on the scene and those in the offices with whom I had contact later were there to help me. I hate the phrase, but what a "teaching moment" that was. I'm gleeful, not proud, to imagine seeing one of them hurt and stopping to help as I was helped at the accident scene. (It's fantasy. I'd do the right thing. High on my list is being able to live with myself.) (3) Edgy here, too, and sorry about it. Stand firm.

@@Cape Crooner -- I've seen only FAQ's that are "b&w" references since browsing my first. One BP member [sorry, your name is on the tip of my tongue] suggested above that it have a different title, which may come to pass. The understanding here is that BP's section, too, will be factual, not a collection of personal opinions and experiences. @@tcrehm proposed the new section to end or at least cut down on endlessly-repeated questions to spare vets and help newcomers. Some aspects will be tricky to compile, given that not all bariatric practices give identical instructions, but it can be done. The chief route around the difficulty will be the disclaimer to follow the "rules" of one's own practice.

Lawyer? Ha! Lawyers of past acquaintance suggested I pursue the field, but it didn't call to me. How could I have known I was preaching to the preacher? By training and probably by inclination, you're given to notes, mental or otherwise, and the prep work before advancing into the fire. As one who's worked with and marveled at humans in many settings, I can say with assurance that a great many would not do the basic research for themselves. I do wish you well. If my plan had required supervised, pre-op weight-loss, I'd be happy to relate what I could. I hope you'll return with the outcome of your situation. It will be interesting to know if you were able to move the immovable and, if so, other readers would be helped.

As I hear it, feeling no regret very likely means that your behavior works for you without necessarily making sense to you. If it does, you fine. It used to be called "playing the field." If it doesn't make sense, then my suggestion is to see a psychologist for help in sorting out the what's and why's and determine what you really, really want.

@@northmsgirl I offered based on what you presented. You then filled in more and I really do hope the others who have your plan gave you something concrete to work with. Med plan lit is notoriously ambiguous by design. When you do call, be aware that, if you speak with four people, you may get as many different stories. Write down names. I don't think you're an idiot, but I know how easy it is to get excited/irate with "those people," hence, easy to skip noting what might be useful down the road. If you can't swing it your way, just proceed toward the end you want most. I'm under the impression that it's more common for plans to require a six-month supervised diet, so it could be worse. Good luck.

You're wonderful. So are your mother and grandmother and the rest of your family. My apology for misleading you. My asking what I'm to do with the Asian ingredients was rhetorical, addressed to the stars. Thanks for mentioning low-fat halloumi and the simple recipe. Even I can do that.

I'm so glad that you're glad.

A friend, not the poet, sent me a poem today. I must be feeling warm and toasty toward the BP people, as I want to share it. At first reading it delighted me and called me back a few minutes later to check if it was real. With each subsequent reading, the poem became larger and more familiar and embracing. The natural world is breathtaking. We are, too, in our form that varies from the rest and is part of the whole. http://www.towncreekpoetry.com/SPR13/ROYSTON_WHY.html

Same here. Don't know why I didn't think to say it farther up the page. I didn't say anything to anyone at the time, thinking I must be paranoid.

"Dramatic much?" -- good thing you're smiling. Truth is truth, after all, and too much drama is never enough. "You?" -- not I. But the subject brings up something hideous that went on in NY years ago. I'm uncertain now of the minute details. Here it is in short. A gyn performed abortions for women referred perhaps by a women's health organization and/or a rape crisis center. He'd run pregnancy tests to confirm and then operate. At some point it came out that he'd been operating on women -- invading their bodies and doing who knows what -- who were not pregnant. H must have thought up the fraud scheme for the payments from the referring agencies.

I've walked the fine line between kind patience and cavalier flippancy or brusqueness in some of my responses to new people, but I may have officially crossed the line into mean-girl territory tonight. Is there a cheerleader sort of jacket or a badge or something I'm supposed to wear?

It isn't a matter of "insight." It's about reading your plan's literature or checking its website. Or calling.