WLSResources/ClothingExch

@@MimiBMe -- Learning, good. Comparing notes, good. Commiserating, good. Venting, good, but, when over-indulged, it becomes a futile, masturbatory exercise. Venting serves a good purpose when it's a means of emptying the bile so that the energy can then be used to solve the problem at hand. That, however, is tangential to my topic.

@@sharkgirl -- I don't see the "friend" escalating her behavior, but just continuing what is essentially a temper tantrum. In either case, of course, @@Sophie74656's husband should deal with her. Sophie, that sounds as though I'm talking about you as though you're not here. Sorry about that.

I can't guess how serious and how funny he is with these remarks, but he is giving you mixed signals. Have you told him that he can't have it both ways? That he has to choose between "complete meals (whatever that may mean)" and meals that will help him be "skinny (whatever that may mean, too)?" You know, don't you, DHR, that if your BP compatriots were to take a vote, he'd be found to be far more likable in the bedroom than in the kitchen? Your bedroom and your kitchen, that is.

@@4MRB4PHOTO -- How can I just walk by that one? They are indeed related sentences. Poor thing, you missed an opportunity in there beyond the one you took.

Yes, that is one of the questions I posed. You handle a deluge in a sane way. If there's a rule book, I didn't receive a copy when I signed up. The "SUPPOSED to" makes it sound like a single-rule publication. Of course each person proceeds as suits him. I started this topic because something struck me that, because it occurs unrelentingly all over the internet, is numbing as much as it is anything else. Alright, that adds another category to the hammering, whether real or perceived, and the yammering: Tedium. When it gets to that point for me, I drop out of topics. To each his own.

@@CowgirlJane -- Very much in agreement with you on the second point. Some people plan on doing or are doing things that make the blood run cold. They need to hear it as many times as it takes to absorb the message.

@@goblue9280 -- I certainly am speaking of the OP as the measure in his/her topic. Those who merely seek release may do better for all by opening their own topics. Sharing is fine, but what I described is shouting, not sharing. This example may clarify: I've been waiting an inordinate time for the bus, so long that I'm cranky, irritable and late for an appointment. A stranger launches into his complaints about the wait. I silently give him half a nod and step only far enough away so that he stops talking. Why? His complaining makes him feel better and me worse. He offers nothing useful for either of us and it's my choice not to be sacrificed to his catharsis. In terms of BP I'm questioning the value to the OP of countless "Kill! Punch their noses!" messages. At what point do they become oppressive if, in fact, they do become so? For that reason I'm hoping that some of those OP's stop in.

@@Sophie74656 -- I already wrote a note to you, but somehow it disappeared when I tried to follow it by quoting Michigan Chic. My guess is that your husband and this charmer were friends long before you arrived in his life? If so, she's jealous that she has to share him (not that I'm saying "share" is the appropriate word). She's less central to him and gets to spend less in-person and phone time with him. Tossing the straw wrapper into his glass says that she has a right to be as easy and casual with him as before. She's showing ownership. If your husband truly is oblivious, he needs to be made aware that she has made herself a marital issue. My next guess is that he has at least some awareness, but doesn't know how to handle it.

Why "sadly?" She deserves to go through life being a bittch.

Your insurance company has the answer. If you're turned down, you'll start the approval process again; you won't be the first. If you're turned down, it might even for a different reason. When you get your answer, you'll know what you need to work on. In the meantime keep doing your part. If the word "Molina" is pertinent to your question, you'll have to explain.

@@Redmond -- You should have been given printed instructions on this and other post-op matters before today, like at your last appointment so that you'd have a chance to clarify with the staff and stock up ahead of time. Nothing wrong with asking here, but call your surgery practice for details.. Keep on top of them for info as you go along.

@@Terra B -- knock yourself out

It sounds as though your mother is wonderfully supportive. If, in fact, you do need two seats, the choice is simple and easy: a. Save the money on the second seat by staying home and forgoing surgery, or b. Pay for the extra seat, have the surgery, and then, in time, never need an extra seat again. Four seconds, Charley.....

I just noticed two BP people on my profile screen as "friends." One of them I exchanged one note only, perhaps on status feed -- skimpy contact. The other's name is unfamiliar to me. Sparkpeople.com, the only other interactive website I use, provides for friends by choice only, not assigned by themselves or anyone/anything else. What does it mean in BP? If BP gives the capability to someone to choose him/herself for me, what do they get from it? What can I do if I don't wish an individual to have access to whatever that may be?

I had given some thought to a last splurge, as many had talked about in the support group I was attending. Soon enough it occurred to me that it was a dumb idea -- for me. "What's the point of eating like an maniac one more time? If I'll be giving it up for a purpose, does one more time have meaning?" The answer was a loud "No!" In the case of eating specific food, but not necessarily to excess, that, too, made no sense. Nothing that I might have to give up in the future seemed so important that I couldn't forget about it on the spot.

Thank you, all. I just needed to know.

@@winklie -- I'm glad that you're feeling better and got past the bump to take better care of yourself and think more clearly. When I arrive at a dance late, i.e., past two pages, it's difficult for me to do all the reading for several reasons which aren't important here. I did see that you're bipolar and drug-resistant and appreciate the obstacles that are part of the package. Maybe it would help you to give yourself reminders -- verbal, index cards on the cabinets and bathroom mirror? -- to do the work properly and the rest will keep up or catch up when its ready?

@@tjstark -- "I haven't felt the need to rant until now! I'm 5 weeks out tomorrow and have lost a considerable amount in that time, but obviously it's not like I've shed 100lbs overnight!... "That said, I'm pretty annoyed with family members that seem to think I'm going to drop 100lbs overnight. It's so annoying to hear things like, 'Well, you look the same.'" TJ, Your relatives are petty, nasty, mean-spirited, jealous [deservedly so] creatures. Their comments don't say that they have expectations. Au contraire, they say that they expected you to fail or, worse, wanted you to fail. When you opened this topic on Sept. 2, you'd lost 60 pounds. To tell you that you looked the same as before is to lie in a major way. The 60 most certainly showed given your starting weight. I'll make a wild guess: Each is considerably overweight? Brush them off. Throw the negativity back into their laps without being negative yourself, i.e., maintain your dignity. Then show them the door. I suppose I'm even less inclined to give them a crumb because yours is the about the fourth note of its type I've ready today. My grandma may have said, "They should live and be well."

To get people to search before posting the same old thing, you'd have to begin this topic anew daily. Ay, ay, ay, if anyone bends over backward to be kind, supportive, positive when the eyes of strong men cross, 'tis you. "Turn mean?" You make me feel like an ogre when I so much as say to someone, "Your thinking is off."

Somehow I think that subject is unchanging, hence, nothing new to be said about it. [Yeah, I get what you meant.]

You can never be too thin or too warped.

@@wascott and several others -- So many 'likes' on several blank message forms? Does this mean the censors got there after some of the kids got a peek? Oh, rats, I missed out.

How is 4 or 5 lbs a "stall?" A stall is 0 lbs. You are "DETERMINED" to lose weight, yet deny that it's exactly what you are doing. nYour expectations and views are dangerously off; 350 cals is frightening. The best "HELP!" is the suggestion to get in to your surgeon's and to call your psych immediately for an earlier appt.

@@Elode -- @@WLSResources/ClothingExch "LOL! Oh I most certainly get food pictures. I've learned to brush it off. It hurt my feelings and pissed me off a bit the first time but not any more. I would have thought they would be supportive since we all are WLS patients but it just didn't turn out that way. It's ok though! I like to keep positive people around that help to motivate me." I have yet to write a BP intro about my surgery saga. For now I'll just say I'm greatly grateful that, even though I've had a rocky downhill run (but am not giving up despite the long detour), I've never begrudged anyone's success. Quite the opposite, I selebrate with them. I don't know where the attitude came from, but it tells me that I haven't lost my humanity and am not over self-absorbed. Something in your telling of your relatives' negativity got me angrier than I've ever felt when hearing about underminers. Of course you got past them, but they are new to me. Bitchers (had to put the "r" in to get past the censors to say what I really want to say).