WLSResources/ClothingExch

Donate. You can find non-profits that provide services to women, such as homeless shelters, job training/back-to-work programs (for your work-appropriate things), domestic violence shelters (they need kids' clothes, too), et al. Used clothing is minimal in terms of IRS deductions, but the benefit of knowing you've given a boost to people in their efforts is immeasurable. You can also hold periodic clothing exchanges with others in your surgery practice and donate the things that aren't adopted within the group. It takes a little more thought and a little more work, but nothing inordinate.

I'm a late arrival to the topic, so there isn't much I can add. If it hasn't already been said, an online search for things like "how to dress at age 50" will get lots of things to read. Just before I logged in, I saw a cool slide show at Yahoo on what to stop wearing at various ages. I tried to find it again to include a link here, but no luck. The subject of "what do I like and what suits me now" is confusing and covers more territory than wardrobe. My WLS NP introduced me a few years ago to "The Weight Loss Surgery Coping Companion: A Practical Guide for Coping with Post-Surgery Emotions," by Tanie Miller Kabala, Ph.D. a psychologist who works with many WLS people and does pre-surgery psych evals. It's an easy book to read and use, a well-guided workbook for sorting out the changes, emotional and otherwise, as they come along. The chapter that really stood out for me is "How to Cope with Identity Confusion," which is about the topic here. Rather than writing directly in the book, I think a separate notebook is in order so that the book itself can be reused whenever helpful. The separate notebook also becomes a journal. [Full disclosure: Thinking that the book was worthwhile, I requested a review copy from Dr. Kabala so that people at my semi-annual clothing exchange could look it over. I have no financial interest or other connection to the book.]

@@allenjf -- "I also feel a bit like I'm cheating... that I'm taking the easy way out. I know it's not, and that it's a lot of work." You better smile when you say that, pardner. As one of our esteemed colleagues on this side of the aisle has already said, surgery is a tool, an aid. People who have surgery do all the same things anyone else does: Completely overhaul food choices, change eating habits overall, exercise, et al. On top of all that, we have surgery. (Yes, you tried to cover your tracks with the last sentence quoted. Pretty slick.) It is a big decision and you're sane to do thorough research. If you haven't already, I suggest you attend the info seminar that bariatric practices conduct as the first step in the process. There's no commitment, but knowledge to be gained. As the session goes along, ask questions to clarify anything that's not absolutely clear. Also attend some of their patient support groups. They're open to explorers and beyond and another excellent opportunity to learn, ask and share -- the smaller gathering makes it possible.

@@Anilyn -- Aha! The operative word is "imagine." You haven't talked about it, or not in depth? The decision is between you, of course, and that's why I never want to know the final word. I just hate seeing the woman taking the greater risk for birth control. Please do have some talks. Now for my rantlet, during which you're free to close your ears. These are general statements, not specifically about your husband. Why do men refuse to know that the woman takes the greater surgical risk (there's always risk with any surgery) or refuse to care enough? Why do they think birth control is the women's realm alone? Why are they such ninnies...about most things?y they think it's the woman's responsibility. Why they're such ninnies? If they don't want to have vasectomy, let them embrace condoms. So there, take that. Thanks, I needed that. By the way, at which pre-surgery stage are you now?

@@diane1 -- Is that something your bariatric surgeon said he does or will do? Tubal ligation isn't an area of expertise for me, but I'd never have thought a general surgeon would perform the procedure. @@Anilyn -- Is tubal something you want? Vasectomy is a simpler procedure. I suppose you and your husband have at least begun discussion. Would he/does he claim the fictitious, fabled male entitlement or to be a partner in birth control? He'll benefit down the road from your RNY -- you'll be around longer. What is he offering for your benefit -- as a partner in life, that is, not as a begrudging martyr? Just tossing it out for your consideration; don't wanna know any intimate details.

We all recognize, don't we, that this topic will never fade away? Long after BP is gone, this topic will reside either in the Smithsonian or the Library of Congress. Did you see that DHR, our darling OP, will run her first 5K on Thanksgiving? She'll be thinking of this dubious form of immortality that she's achieved and be propelled across the finish line laughing and blushing. *@dhrguru

@@CowgirlJane -- I'm glad you clarified the "stuck" issue. The posters hadn't gone into such detail...and I did think their telling was odd. I'll amend my posts. It's a good thing I hit only two topics, both very recent, so I'll find them easily. But at least it's correct that bands and sleeves need to eat slowly?

@@grandmaofone -- It's time to tell him to get busy dear hunting.

@CowgirlJane@liannatx -- Not that sleevers don't go on real food. I've read topics begun by sleevers because they'd gotten stuck; one was specific about grilled, white-meat grilled chicken. From what I"ve seen in many other topics, a high percentage use Protein drinks, more than enough to give the impression that they're a significant part of life after the healing process is done -- for many, but not necessarily. Is it not possible that sleeve people's experiences vary as happens with banded people (e.g., not all get stuck)? Maybe those who continue with drinks prefer it that way rather than finding it necessary, but none has said as much.

@@lsubabe33, @@Inner Surfer Girl gave you some excellent advice and ideas. I'd like to add that eating badly won't solve any of the problems. It won't bring in jobs for your husband and it won't pay the bills. It does no more than undo the good work you've done since surgery and make you feel even worse about everything. There are a couple of other resources to help with emotional eating and stress. Either or both may be right for you. ShrinkYourself.com This is the site of Roger Gould, a psychologist, and deals with emotional eating and developing new habits and insights. Click the option for the free emailed newsletters. As you read them, do whatever exercises they provide. "The Beck Diet Solution," is a book by Judith Beck, a CBT psychologist. (Don't confuse it with her later book with a similar title and which includes a diet plan -- useless to WLS people -- and therefore less psych guidance and fewer tools.) Her first book is meant to be read from page 1, not by skipping around. Do all the exercises. Use a notebook and index cards rather than writing directly in the book so that you can revisit any time you may need an extra boost. I wish you and your family the best.

I hope I understand your question and that my impression that you haven't considered a food tracker is correct. From what I've seen in BP, sleeve and band people have perhaps a few concerns in common (eating Protein first, then produce; eating slowly; maybe more, but I don't know what) and, regardless of procedure, the daily nutrient goals in general can't be much different if at all; your own RD is your authority. That said, I think you'll find meal planning and calculating how recipes fit in if you choose a food tracker. There are many free options. Two of the best known are My Fitness Pal, which I'm told is simple to use. The only one I've ever used is at sparkpeople.com. It's more cumbersome, but not monumentally so. The "extra work (and I don't know how much over other trackers it really is)" is part of my meal-planning and food-choice discipline. Spark has a huge database of foods, fresh and produced, with nutritional data and you can add whatever you use that's not in the database. Enter recipes as well and the system will automatically break down the nutrients; double the recipe and the system will adjust based on the initial data entered. Spark is also available for use on Android or something that I don't use. You can edit the default goals to conform with your own practice's guidelines. When choosing or improvising a recipe, I first consider protein (my goal is min. 60g up to perhaps 90 or 100, advised by my RD) content of the total recipe and, after adding the rest of the ingredients and having all the numbers, I decide the number of servings. Many recipes can be altered if they have, say, more fat or simple carbs than you want; cooking has more leeway than does baking. Meal planning seems far more complicated at first than it really is. Play around with a tracker or three to see which suits you. I'm not "selling" Spark. I just happen to be accustomed to it.. It has all sorts of options for keeping your trackers permanently, changing to a streamlined format that will make it easy for our* WLS RD to review if you need to tweak your planning, etc. Something else you'll probably find when you're back on full solids (or as close as sleevers get) is that most of your old, favorite recipes and books have plenty of recipes that are sleeve-friendly. You can buy a bariatric book or two if you like, but don't pitch out what you have. Aside: @@Inner Surfer Girl and @@BLERDgirl do it every time. I'm typing away and they slide right in there. * That's a real typo. You're NYU and I'm Columbia, therefore, we don't have an "our" RD.

*@Missy407, Does it help to know that it's 99.97% sure that everyone on the "send" list has had or will be having WLS there, as opposed to other general-surgery procedures? Lots of them chose to tell few people and, for that reason, are likely to respect your privacy as they wish theirs respected by you.

One thing I've done from time to time that wouldn't be recommended by a surgery-practice professional and isn't the best thing: Press my index finger gently on the back of my tongue, just enough so that I can bring up the stuck food gently, i.e., control its expulsion. I do it only if I've been stuck for a long time, am more than merely uncomfortable and sense no sign of auto-correction. If I were sleeved, I probably wouldn't do it until past being fully healed from surgery. P.S. Sometimes people get stuck unnecessarily. Be sure to take small bites and chew the hell out of your food. It's a safeguard and the bonus is getting more flavor.

As @@Inner Surfer Girl said, it probably was an error. I receive notices from three local medical centers and they're always sent as bcc's. Do call, though. If the error was made by a new staff member, the manager will want to inform the person. How upset? I think I wouldn't even notice, but that doesn't in the least invalidate your reaction.

@@celestialsciences -- Stephanie, I extend my condolences to you and your family. It was a few minutes ago that I stumbled upon this topic that your grandmother began. It took seeing your note to make me realize that the topic goes back a while. I was acquainted with Joanne at SparkPeople.com. She was always warm and supportive to the members of its lapband group. Thank you for letting us know. The subject matter here makes for an intimacy among the members despite our being strangers in day-to-day life.

When I'm eating properly, I range from 950-1150. My practice's RD told me not to under 800, which makes great, good sense in a few ways. @@susan1349, how are you tracking your intake? It sounds as though you're not using one of the well-known trackers.

I've been told that sleevers and lapbanders get stuck for different reasons, the nature of the band being one. Banders walk, which may or may not help you.. I also stretch my torso a bit while stretching my arms straight up overhead. We're advised to cook meats that tend to be dry in gravy/sauce; don't know if that's relevant to sleeves. Having someone pat my back can help, but it feels ludicrous, given the similarity to burping a baby.

@@gowalking, thank you for one of the most fun, exciting and moving messages ever in the world of surgery. You've created a new NSV: Speaking unself-consciously in an unremarkable moment that once would have stiffened the spine, ready to run for cover. "So this is what it's like to feel relaxed."

You can designate two scales, each for a specific purpose: One for accuracy; that's the number you accept as your weight. The other for consistency; that's simply seeing the number changing.

Anxiety is one of the common maladies when surgery is in view. You're experiencing it to a greater degree than some and to a lesser degree than others. You're looking at a procedure that is deeply personal and will affect you in so many ways. It's nothing like an appendectomy. Doh. There are things you can do to calm yourself and accept that your choice is positive. -- Depending on what a typical day is like (e.g., work, school, family, socializing), fill your unoccupied time so that your mind is occupied, even if with mindless activities like straightening or rearranging closets and drawers. -- Find a progressive muscle relaxation video (probably at youtube). Start and end the day with the exercise. It'll help you get to sleep at night. -- Attend the one or two support group meetings your practice will have before your date. You'll be face to face with plenty of people who experienced or are experiencing what you are. If no group, check with other hospitals in the area; most welcome patients from the competition. The anticipation is difficult, but you can take hold of it.

If you've never roasted peppers, here's a short video to make it easy: http://recipes.sparkpeople.com/videos.asp?video=Roasting_Peppers

@@samantha614 -- The RD's services at my bariatric practice are billed separately and, under normal (whatever that may be) circumstances, I'd have a co-pay. For some reason at which I can only guess, but will keep to myself lest I inadvertently open a can of worms, she's never put through billing for me. I think my co-pay would be $40 per appt. The RD is covered as a necessary part of treatment. If the nutritionist (is she really a nutritionist and not an RD? Is the person at the bariatric office really a nutritionist and not an RD?) you called first is an independent practitioner, I doubt that she's "crazy." Why not set a fee structure which the market will bear? Her fee may not be so different from the in-house fee for self-paying patients.

@@itstimealready -- If averaging four pounds per week isn't good enough, give back, nay, take back the 12 and demand a refund. Do you want to lose weight or do you want to compete in a race? If the latter, you'd be racing only against yourself and, therefore, forever neck-and-neck.

More an observation and question than a rant or rave, but this forum seems better suited than "The Lounge." Many topics are created every day by members who have experiences related to obesity that leave them feeling humiliated, disrespected or hurt in any number of other ways. The rest of us jump in to commiserate, intending at least to reassure the OP that he isn't the only one and that it will get better. The responses go on to rant back about the OP's brutish friends, relatives, co-workers, spouses, whomever, and how they should be dealt with. Often enough we who are responding throw in comments about how we would never permit such bad behavior toward us. This evening for the first time I skimmed back over one such topic in which I'd posted. It occurred to me that there were far more posts demonizing the offenders and, in and not in so many words, criticizing the OP for not taking a stand. What I'm wondering and throwing out to whomever may be reading this is whether we overdo it as a group? At some point does the OP feel browbeaten by those who are on her side? I don't question the collective intention to offer support and strength, but perhaps too much of a good thing is detrimental, making the OP feel unhappier. Perhaps, after a few such responses, the next BP'ers to come along should keep moving along? Or at least omit the excoriation of those who've injured the OP and his reluctance to speak up at the time? Thoughts on this? [P.S. I'm not masquerading as someone who hasn't chimed in when the point had already been made. Truth is that I'm among the people who like to hear themselves talk. Not one of my most attractive characteristics, but there it is.]

Stuffing them works with full-sized peppers, not the cute, miniature type. Wash them, cut in half lengthwise, remove stems, seeds and membrane. You can find oodles of recipes for fillings via Uncle Google; just choose any that appeals to you and suits your sleeve needs. Also with full-sized peppers, char them so that the skins come off easily (when cool enough to handle, but you know that). Slice into quarters and store in the refrigerator in olive oil. They keep indefinitely. Drain as you use the pieces -- they are a good, versatile condiment. It's easier to google for the simple directions than it is to describe here. I have no particular suggestions for the miniature. I bought a bag of them only once, having wanted them because they're so pretty. The taste was more bitter than the larger ones. They may vary, though, as most things do. Have fun experimenting. P.S. There are plenty.of recipes for stuffing the miniature peppers, Uncle Google once again.