WLSResources/ClothingExch

@@Cervidae, you amazing woman, what a triumph you've created for yourself. You look so wonderful. Here's a serious question....I have no tatts, therefore, no way of knowing what happens when someone loses oodles of weight. Has the bird at your shoulder changed? Did he land? Fly away? Go back to nestling size? Look larger? Is that the bird on top of your head in the "after" photo? It's the same color.

Darling Mrs. A. Train, your daughter is a shining light. She's the wise one in all of this. I would love to hug both of you. As far as support, the others have already said that you'll find plenty of it here. You can also get a lot by attending the support groups that your surgery practice offers. If it doesn't have groups, check with other hospitals in your area. They usually welcome patients to their support groups. The groups generally discuss everything from what to eat to the emotional issues. Sitting down with a group is a wonderful opportunity to share ideas and experiences.

@@Mrs.A.Train, some of the people who've replied think he's not supportive, others think he isn't a friend and still others think he's utterly self-absorbed and has no regard for you and what is in your best interests. I agree. More to the point, he's a freakin' ass'hole. If he wants to be catered to, let him go back to his mother. There are men in the world. He isn't one of them. This isn't about serving him. It's about the way you think of yourself and what you deserve from a relationship. Would you really cancel surgery to be the creep's maidservant? You have health problems. I'd think you'd want to work on them so that you can live for yourself and to be there to love and care for your child. The younger child, that is. He's a freakin' ass'hole. Puke. Crap. On him, that is. I"m so angry that I keep coming back in to type more. Mrs. A. Train (are you in my town?), you're bringing up a major issue not only about losing weight, but about your entire life and your value in the world. If you would really consider risking your well-being, maybe you should consider seeing a therapist. It hurts to see you thinking the way that you are thinking. You deserve so much better from a man and from yourself.

@@goblue9280, you asked if you're a nut case. Maybe. I dunno. There are worse things. Your note somehow reminded me of a very foolish line from an old, very heart-manipulating movie, "Miracle on 34th Street." It may have been in the trial scene when Edmund Gwenn as Santa was asked his age. He replied with something much like, "As old as my tongue and a little older than my teeth." True, certainly, but less than informative. For your part, how about flashing your most dazzling smile and replying, "Probably as much as you think I have?" For variety, keep the smile and alternate with, "More pounds than the number of teeth in Edmund Gwenn's (or Santa's) mouth." Play with the people, make 'em crazy. Entertain yourself.

@@VDB, as your wife's love of art hasn't evaporated, she might respond to the idea of a day treatment program that includes studio facilities of some sort. Her taking part in such a program may lead her to reconnect with her strengths and joys and, at the same time, provide respite for you. If she sees the solution for respite that you proposed as abandonment, a program for her might look quite different. I understand that you're familiar with treatment, but as the husband in this topic, you may be overlooking something. As a non-professional in the field, I wonder if your wife's doctor has considered adjusting her meds dosage or augmenting with another?

With all the suggestions here and the countless recipes on line and in your own cookbooks that will suit your weight-loss plan, I'll skip giving you more. My suggestion, however, is that you google the Canadian cooking theory for fish. People tend to way overcook fish, turning it to dry, tasteless, near-ashes. Salmon is one of the glories. It's a shame to kill one by yanking it from the waters and unforgivably criminal to then massacre it a second time.

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@@Daisee68, punch the bastards' lights out. When they come to, you'll have a job supervising them in rebuilding for 500 households. A perfect world without chips. Hang in and vent whenever the feeling strikes.

As I was seeing a psychotherapist at the time, she did my "evaluation." (Quotation marks because we went through no rigmarole or charade whatsoever; she knew me.) She told me that the insurance companies only want to know whether the patient has realistic expectations about results, understands the potential risks, and is capable of understanding and following doctor's orders before and after surgery. Certainly other factors (BMI, co-morbidities, et al.) played a large part in by being approved; the therapist's 7-sentence letter must have played a part, too, since I wasn't denied. The seventh sentence wasn't even substantive: "If you have any questions, please feel free..." All you need do is present yourself as an alert person who knows what's going on and is motivated. A "Yes" to @@magtart's soul-leaves-body example would probably be a deal-breaker. Just a wild guess, y'know. You'll be fine.

When I saw the title of this topic, I thought the originator was being cute with a reference to men's shirt sleeve lengths. Obviously not. Then I saw "bougie." Please give me a little info on what the numbers mean and what is a "bougie." I have a lapband, but probably will be revising to sleeve. Just a very little will help me know better what to research and formulate questions for my surgeon. Thanks.

I don't get irritated because of "advice." What irritates me is when someone asks and clearly pays no attention to the response. What would irk me even more is being presented with pizza made of brownies. I'm a pizza purist. Actually, I've had pizza no more than twice in the past six years.

It's nice that your husband didn't inherit his family's miserable-personality gene. You don't have to tell them anything. When they start commenting on your weight loss, simply tell them that you've been eating differently and have begun an exercise routine. It's the truth and nothing but the truth and, even better, it will make them crazy. Wouldn't it be a kick if they surprise you? Don't count on it, though, because the obese among them will probably add a jealousy component to their already miserable outlooks. @@Inner Surfer Girl's suggestion of a book written for WLS people brought to mind a different kind of book someone who used to be on sparkpeople.com mentioned often in the depression "team" (you can find affinity groups for everything imaginable there or you can start one). I don't know the book myself, but you may want to look at a copy in a bookstore or at least read an online description. The title is "Boundaries," by Cloud and Townsend. I just googled it to be sure of the title (had forgotten about it some time ago); it turns out to be one of a series of "Boundaries" books. Here's a link to the publisher's (HarperCollins) material; it has some topics that you may find interesting -- including one on setting boundaries with mothers. Your husband might to take a look, too. http://www.boundariesbooks.com/ As to your friend's "lucky" comment: Am I the only one who doesn't see it as necessarily negative? It seems vague enough to consider asking her to say more. Back to the in-laws. My advice for the week for dealing with miserable thwarters is taking shape: "Punch their lights out." Congratulations on a beautiful start.

51 lbs certainly is excellent. I, too, don't know how you arrived at 120g Protein, but it is very high.

@@Ilovecats1985, you love your husband, you love your son, you love your cats. That's enough. You don't have to love the harpies. Go ahead and punch their lights out.

@@CowgirlJane, don't be silly. You're no idiot. You're just a good girl gone bad. Now and then it's good for the soul and it keeps the roses in our cheeks.

Don't wait to field questions when you return to work. Let it be known ahead of time that you're taking several weeks off and, as probably is the case, the time is combined vacation and personal time because you have a load of things to take care of. Once your weight loss is evident and people begin to ask questions, the answer is the brief truth: You changed the way you eat and began an exercise routine. When the high rate of weight loss is questioned, then you may wish to 'fess up or stick with the original story. Make you choice based on your comfort level at the time.

@@gowalking, why not take a picture of him walking as though he just got off a horse and put it in the silver frame you bought for him? @@dhrguru, I'm not at all surprised to see you in this topic. (I'll never let you forget.)

Other people have done this, do do this and will do this again and, yet, weight-loss is always on the horizon for them. You, however, will never, ever, ever lose weight again. Doom, doom, doom. This is how special you are. Seriously, 2.5 oz of crap in one sitting cannot cut you loose in space. As a steady thing, though, it will set you back and very likely lead to increasingly greater splurges. A couple of things that I advise because they work for me: Children are "bad" or "naughty." Grown-ups make choices, not always wise ones, but choices all the same. I realize that you may have used those words half-jokingly, but the other half is what counts. Adopt adult vocabulary and the adult attitude will follow; banish the kids' vocab. It's not always easy, but focus more on the kind of thinking that eluded you. Remind yourself that you made a not-so-great choice, but that it could have gone way beyond 2.5 oz. Give yourself a break. You'll be fine.

The information seminar is only a month off, but if you want "credit" from your med plan earlier, make an appointment with your primary now. It's absolutely necessary that it be documented, hence being in your medical record at the primary's office. I believe monthly visits are required in general; you'll have to be sure of your plan's requirements. (I was not required to undergo a supervised diet.)

@@Inner Surfer Girl, you've been given credit for recognizing a universal NSV in one of them-there "status" thingies. @@Dub, is that a new signature photo you put up there in the past few days? You're looking great. Maybe you can get away with the primary language question by claiming to be in Tbilisi, Georgia?

@@Inner Surfer Girl, you're the top. Isn't not having to spend on shipping charges an NSV? It should be counted among them!

You sure can. This one's for you, kid: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=s5Uw1lJ2C9U

"Oodles" of store credit comes only to about 2% max of what you've spent. The high point/credit number is deceiving. If the value were expressed in real terms, you'd see. I do use points that I get from the card I use primarily for Amazon purchases, but they don't make all that much difference in the scheme of things. I'm saying this only because the uninitiated may expect much more than is given in dollars.

@@Fat2Phat2016 and @@Fatty McFatster, I thought of you when I got up this morning. There's something about both of you having surgery and doing this together that is so utterly sweet and loving. Now, a few hours later and a few days from Christmas, you bring to mind the O. Henry story, "The Gift of the Magi." The two of you are completely wonderful and I wish you the best in every way. P.S. I'm available for adoption. As I'm older than you, I'm perfect: You won't have to support me or even have me move in.