WLSResources/ClothingExch

@@MIMISAN, well, what will it take to dip your toe in? Any ideas on how to begin? Nothing to lose and who knows what you may learn about yourself that you'd never suspected? You may find other avenues for your humor that you'd love. I once toyed with the idea, but opted to pursue acting. Maybe we can bat around some ideas for the all-new Mimisan. .......Are you in Houston or, more to the point, is your surgeon there?.....I'd like to send you a private note in the next several days. I'm under some pressure now with things I must finish and others that need to be begun. Being on line at all says I'm avoiding them.

If your surgeon said something about removing the band, then it can be done. Bands are removed. When did you have the band/plication surgery? It's difficult to know what you mean by "it is tight around the band" and whether that or the port or both are problematic. If by "tight" you mean you're having difficulty eating, you just may need a bit of saline removed. It would be irresponsible to do more than speculate based on the info you've given, which will get you nowhere, and I'm no surgeon. Your questions should be discussed with the surgeon. Prepare a list of everything you want to know before to take to you appointment. If you see a psychologist and these events related to surgery are having a negative effect on your mood, please discuss it all in your sessions. Keep in mind that, if your band does have to go, it doesn't mean that your wish to lose weight is doomed. Many people whose bands are removed for cause revise to another procedure. If you had a medical plan that covered your band/plication, there are considerations as to whether it will cover a new procedure (your current BMI is a major factor; the insurance coordinator at your practice can go over this with you). It will cover band removal, though. Please post more about what you find out and the outcome.

@@SlimJill, I'm happy for you. He sounds affectionate and as though he has a wonderful sense of humor with half-cheeseburgers only the start. Have fun and keep up the great work. @@MIMISAN, that's one of the best things I've seen around here. Do you do standup? Ever had a desire? @@Djmohr, it burned, but not because it was a hot liquid. A thousand years ago when I was about 14, a friend and I sat over egg creams. Something got me laughing, unable to stop. Egg cream poured out endlessly, apparently more than I'd drunk, and it burned. Until then I thought it was only a saying when people mentioned such occurrences.

Egads, that sounds eerily like what I do with chicken, but I cook it instead of sewing and wearing it. Thanks for the info. I'm glad you're happy with the results. The descriptions of all surgical procedures are too ghoulish. It's amazing that we go ahead with them rather than run away screaming. Maybe I'll wear garlic around my neck the next time I have anything done.

This link doesn't exactly address the question at hand, but it was in my inbox this a.m. and it may be of some use in some way at some time to some one. The LearnVest website and another, Levo, which may be from the same outfit, are pretty much intended for women and focus on career/work/money and the like. I can't speak of the quality of either site (they really don't resonate for me at my advanced st/age) and someday I may take time to unsubscribe. Right now, though, I'll be glad if they serve anyone else here. http://www.learnvest.com/2016/01/4-things-to-do-when-laid-off/

I attended the intro info seminar at NYUMC the other evening and, as I have a lapband that may need removal (I'll find out soon), asked whether there are signs when the actual stomach incision leaks after sleeve surgery . The surgeon leading the session replied, Yes, you would feel sick overall -- fever, pain, no energy, et al. While I don't remember the number he named, he did say that the percentage of patients who experience that internal leakage is pretty low (maybe 15%???). If it means anything to anyone else, at times when I've felt pain of any sort, not necessarily thinking it has anything to do with my old band surgery, but can't tell whether it's internal or on the surface, I can figure it out when I gently/firmly press my fingers against the spot.

@@Dub, rather than bird flu, she may have thought you'd come down with bird appetite. Sparrow, that is, no more vulture.

You mean two men simultaneously yammering the same things, one per ear, yes? Agreed. The originator mentioned that most were men after I posted earlier. That changes things in good part. They intended no backhanded compliments.

I hit "like" twice as a small gesture. Too bad we can't get it to show twice. Some messages warrant a double. Pithy and on target. @@lisa0617, what Babbs said.

Take the pressure off yourself. You don't "need" to do anything. There's no gun pointed at you. Do it because you want to do it. Do you log what you eat? Plan ahead? Doing both makes a great difference. When I'm eating properly for my band (which I haven't done in eons, but I have regained much of what I'd lost in the first 15 months), I enter a few days or so of meals and snacks so that I'm sure of my nutrition intake, calories, carbs, et al. Snacks get entered last and I always leave room for a yogurt or a something (sorry, I had a nice variety, but it's been long enough that I need time to reconstruct the list). My pre-planned menu was never set in stone. I made changes at will and that was easy because I had the "template" to work on. It's as important to track intake when you go off track. The written/electronic record helps to refocus and, in the case of a rate-of-loss slowdown, to see where adjustments can be made in hope of picking it up again. Don't be discouraged if tweaking doesn't change things. As long as you do the right things, everything will even out in the end. But you already know that.

Did someone ask for suggestions? I happen to have two good ones right here in my basket. Take one or both and call someone in the morning. 1. Calculate your average weekly weight loss, then answer the following in private. Is that not good enough? When did you last average that rate? How long have you been overweight? Really, that long? And now there's an emergency to lose rapidly, which, by the way, is what you are doing? 2. Accept that no one is permitted to compete with others who are losing faster unless they have formally registered for the race and pinned their numbers to their singlets.

There is a way that some people give 'complimenst' that is quite the opposite. The implication is that you/we were bow-wow's who had to take what we could get. The part about implying that someone would start running around is simply inappropriate at best and low class at worst.

There's really no "normal." Some people never need a fill; their bands work for them upon healing. I understand that, since my surgery, it's common for a band to go in with some saline rather than completely empty. Everyone's experience is different. You'll find that many who have the same size band compare saline levels, but comparisons are generally pointless. If you're too uncomfortable now, you might want to go in to take out a tad more saline and see how that works. It's not uncommon to be unable to eat in the morning or unable to drink cold liquid, but warm and hot liquids are fine. I've come across a few who wouldn't eat before noon. It seems extreme to me, but that's a call we all make for ourselves.

I don't understand this. No one else has ever whined about the liquid phase.

@@VDB The name of an organization that had slipped my mind woke me during the night: Mood Disorders Support Group, founded 1981 in NYC. Primarily serves people with bi-polar. The website includes links to resources around the country, one of which may surprise you geographically, be able to make solid suggestions to benefit both you and your wife, or trigger some other ideas in your mind. http://www.mdsg.org/ If your wife knows that you're looking around for options and you think it appropriate to say so, please let her know that there are strangers who care specifically about her and are rooting for a turnaround.

I'm far from even thinking of reconstructive surgery. Please let me know if I understood my half-second research: The patient's own fat is shaped to create a perky backside? Two surgeries? Can that mean one cheek at a time? Sacre bleu! Okay, not your husband. Who is happily sharing your pulchritude?

@@VDB @@Inner Surfer Girl's last note said it, but I want to throw in a tad more. Your wife's illness and its effect on you is too important to leave anything unstated. Doesn't every county have a mental health dept. or a health dept with MH under its umbrella?

Is it nervousness or anxiety? There's a difference. Does "Guy" mean something here? In the meantime, if it's nervousness, what's wrong with that? The prospect of surgery and all that goes with it is nervous-making. As the first gynecologist I ever saw said when I was on the table and began to feel around with my feet to find the stirrups: "If your knees feel like shaking, let them shake." He had the wisdom to say it as he turned away to get the speculum and give me the moment's privacy. If it's anxiety, what do you usually do to combat it? Keep yourself occupied. Get to the closet you were going to organize last winter. My closets are available for your organizing pleasure. Leave some tasks for the few days before surgery, e.g., shopping for some things you'll need for the first couple of weeks post-surgery. In the morning before you leave for the hospital, change the sheets. It's another busy task and you'll have a fresh, crisp bed if you want a nap when you get home. If your surgery practice will have a support group meeting before your date, go in and talk with people. Check with practices at other area hospitals, too. They usually welcome all patients. You'll be fine.

In that case, if you're committed to surgery, you'll have to take care of yourself and build a support network outside the house. I addressed that before. Do what is right, healthy and sane for you.

@@New day ahead, certainly having support at home helps, but it's the person who has the surgery who has ultimate responsibility for her own well-being. People who live on their own make it. What you want from your husband at the very least is for him not to impede your choices. I'd guess that your daughter is adult enough to be supportive; I hope you see her as more than a chauffeur. What's missing from your note is whether you've talked with your husband about the why's of your decision to have surgery. He may or may not be one of the many spouses who is insecure enough to fear losing you as you lose weight and discover that more opportunities in the world open to you. Does he understand how hideous a disease diabetes is? If you use one of those apnea machines to sleep, does he know that the bedroom will look nicer without it? And on and on. Most of all, have you told him in so many words that you need him? He's not the only one at your marital dance. Worst-case scenario: You shop and cook for yourself....You rely on BP for support.....You attend your surgery practice's support group meetings and meetings at other hospitals in the area (both good to do anyway, as your husband can't possibly know the experience of all that surrounds surgery); most surgery practices welcome outsiders to their support meetings....Your marriage is damaged, at which time you take the path that is most likely to achieve what you ultimately want. Welcome to Las Vegas.

@@VDB, I wish you well and hope that some new options materialize in your hinterlands. Ever hopeful, is it possible that you live in reasonable distance from a hospital that has just an art therapy program? Just throwing it out there.

@, I, too, obviously missed your message. You may not come back to read this, but I'll say it anyway. If the issue is that you love this person, love isn't enough. You want someone who loves you back in a loving, productive, partner-like way. Love is supposed to feel good, make us happier, make our lives fuller. Sometimes alone is better.

@@Cervidae How interesting that is. You're right about it being lower and a tad smaller. Since it's fluttering around, are the feathers tickling you? Many years ago I was thinking of a tattoo, something small and pretty secret. I had no idea what I would want, though, and didn't think I was ready to take the plunge. Someone pointed out that most people aren't "ready" until they know what kind of tatt they want. I never got there. The handmade hat is a wonderful gift. Enjoy it. I'll look forward to more updates as you go along.

Here's a big hug for you. You're right -- you are a young woman and you owe it to yourself to be healthier and happier. From what you said earlier, it sounds as though your daughter is on your side. She wants to see you as healthy and happy as you can be. If you mean that your fiance will be having surgery later on, I'm surprised by what he said to you. Maybe he's worrying about making the changes for himself. It's common for people to worry about missing certain foods after surgery and having to change food choices in a big way. If you and he can work together and support each other, you'll both be much better off and much happier. Your daughter wants both her parents to be healthy and happy and probably would be happy to be your deputy to keep you both in line. Making it a family program may work very well for all of you.