WLSResources/ClothingExch

Ye of little faith, Jamie. Why wouldn't Margie win powerball? Someone will at some time. Why couldn't it be she? @@Margie122, I don't buy powerball tix partly because I don't even know if my state is involved. My lottery-ticket buying history is only three times anyway. The last followed taking the friend who was with me out for drinks upon my having "won" a big, fat SUV-looking thing five years ago. It occurred within days of the weigh-in that showed I'd lost 115 lbs. I happily sold it to the dealer that GMC involved in the transaction. That said, you, good Margie, will win powerball. I feel it in my bones and also feel in my bones that you'll throw me a token cashbone when you do.. ["Won" is in quotation marks because I think of winning as the result of putting in some work, e.g., weight-loss. I just happened to be at a place where GMC was doing a week-long giveaway of which I was unaware.]

See how it works? From freaking out to a star.

@@sumbrown, wow, you're much more together than I. You're a planner. I think I'm sometimes, not always, a bit OCD about such things. I'm going to adopt your vocabulary. If I say it enough times, it will come true, yes? No? Maybe? You may appreciate my day-of-surgery experience. After being prepped (I don't recall what it involved), a nurse brought a wheelchair to take me about 100 ft. to the OR. I told her I'd walk, as there was no reason to ride. As I stepped through the double doors, I saw all the OR staff at their last-minute tasks. Their surgical masks already in place, they stopped work for a moment, looked toward me and called out the friendliest "Hi's!" "Good to see you's!" and other things of the sort. That was such fun, making me feel as though I'd arrived at a surprise masquerade party in my honor. Tom Petty and the Heartbreakers got it: "The waiting is the hardest part." You'll be more than fine. Same goes for you, @@adrinanna

When you do bring home sugared-up things, crumble them, one by one, into the garbage at the first thought like "What am I doing to myself?" Be really tough by sending them to the spiraling, watery grave. Watching them go down will make you queasy enough not to want them at least for the rest of the evening. Writing it in and of itself is making me queasy.

Correct, lots of people go through the same thing. All I can suggest is that you do some of your getting-ready tasks each day until the day before you go to the hospital. Keeping yourself occupied with the small tasks helps to stay focused not on what's making you nervous, but on being a capable and competent adult taking care of the small,necessary things. I'm not suggesting that you're not capable and competent, but sometimes nervousness makes us feel lost. Example, tomorrow buy some of the Clear liquids or whichever types of liquids you'll need for the first days back at home. Buy more the next day. The day after, do whatever else, etc., etc.. Pack your things for the hospital the night before. On the morning of surgery, change the sheets and towels. You'll appreciate having fresh bedding and towels when you're home again. Before my lapband surgery I was worked up enough with all the pre-chores and when I'd have to stop taking my regular meds and stop eating and what I'd have to do each day right after surgery, blah blah blah. A couple of weeks before I bought a large sheet of oak tag (do people still know oak tag?) and made a calendar with magic marker. Then I wrote in each day's needs/type of liquid/soft foods and more. Lots of silly details. It helped only slightly in a practical sense (e.g., when to switch from full liquid to soft foods), but it did soooo much to keep myself occupied. I was a good and happy puppy filling in my great big calendar. It was like arts & crafts in 2nd grade. I could have said everything in a few words: Play whatever little games with your head that will get the result you want. You'll be fine. Promise.

@@Bethany Copley I omitted from my note above that they also want to know that you have reasonable expectations of surgery, i.e., that it isn't magic and that you have to do the proper work to lose weight successfully.

I know you will. You're a good friend. Have a wonderful, wonderful trip.....I know you will.

@@Bethany Copley, from your telling, I'd be surprised if you don't get a pass from the psychologist. As has already been said, the purpose is pretty simple: To determine whether you understand the risks of surgery (all surgeries have risk, as you no doubt know); if you do and will understand instructions given by your surgery practice before and after the procedure; if you are capable of following them. Maybe whether you're motivated to follow through, too. You are all those things. My own therapist at the time did my "evaluation." We'd been talking about my exploration of WLS. When I asked her to write a letter, she gave it to me the following week, all seven sentences of it, the last of which was the insubstantive "If you have further questions, feel free to contact me." It was painless and cost me nothing more than my usual session fee. You may want to look into this yourself. I've read in BP of people whose evals with shrinks recommended by surgery practices involved filling out all sorts of questionnaires and other things that strike me as nonsensical.; I don't know whose idea all the rigmarole is, but it's probably no more than some of the common diagnostic stuff. Check with the insurance coordinator at your surgeon's to see if this would be doable for you. Just a suggestion. You'll be fine.

Remember not to forget mine, too (see above). My dearest friend is in Rome this week and has been enlisted to bring me something very, very expensive. You, IndieFlickers, should make mine merely expensive, as we've only just met. I do need gloves, y'know. Bespoke gloves..

It's only a week!!!! Don't do this to yourself. Put aside the rest of the negativity 'cause it just ain't so. Weight loss is weight loss regardless of its rate. I understand that it's common for rate of weight loss to slow about a year after bypass. If that is correct, you're right where you should be. You're in good shape. You've planned a lovely trip out of season, which makes it even nicer. Don't spoil it in advance with fussing over nothing. In the words of the immortal Betty Boop, "Boop-oop-a-doop." Have fun, eat good-tasting food and just remember what sorts of things don't sit well with bypass. You'll be fine. Don't even think of putting a scale on the table. If you do whip it out, you're honor-bound to bring me an expensive gift.

@@Ginger85, doesn't your surgery practice have an RD on staff? If not, are you in fairly reasonable distance from one that does? It would be worthwhile to go a little farther afield for the right info. Hey, combine it with a shopping trip! Or maybe Skype is a possibility. I'm guessing that the people you spoke with work independently and have no knowledge of eating for a lapband, but there's got to be someone who can guide you and provide printed materials.

Although you deleted your opening note, the other replies give a good idea of what's on your mind. Lots of women who are in unhappy marriages stay there because they're afraid of their financial situations and other things. If this is the case for you, think about what you can start doing to gain reasonable financial independence. The more you take charge of the things now, the more options you'll have. It isn't easy, but it can be done. I don't think it's "bad" to hope your husband will dislike the "new" you enough to leave, but will the New You want to give up so much power? I don't mean "power" in the sense of a battle of the wills, but rather as your own autonomy. His leaving would be the easy way for you, but you'd still have the concerns that are holding you back now. @@gowalking said it very nicely: "find out how strong you really are."

Common wisdom is that people who have band surgery lose about 60% of the overweight lbs, as I recall; the surgery practices would do the math to set the goal base. It's usually higher than the patient wishes, methinks. In the absence of unusual circumstances, you can lose more if you do the work. First, follow the instructions you're given by your surgery practice staff. Now, for me: I used Protein shakes only as instructed by my practice's RD for the early days after surgery (once I was told to move up from cleer liquids, I suppose). It must have been only for a week or three. I've known band people who opt for protene shakes and additives to the end of time. It makes no sense to me, but, then again, some people may keep their bands tighter or have other factors at work. I prefer real food in my mouth and have always planned my meals so that I easily get the minimum 60g daily. Surgery professionals generally advise solid food over liquids. For many reasons do use a food tracker. A popular one is My Fitness Pal. I use the tracker at sparkpeople.com. There are many free ones available. Welcome to a mysterious world. nb: Italicized misspellings are intentional. I'm a good little speller.

Whether it was a "healthy meal" or not has nothing to do with having gotten stuck. And, if your lunch consisted of foods you've eaten all along with no problem, a band is known to behave differently at any time with no warning, hence, its being called "the fickle bitch." Another possibility is that you were eating too fast because you were distracted? Whatever the case, is the plan to begin refilling gradually? You don't indicate what you weighed at the start, how much progress you would have liked, where you'd like to be in the end, etc. You may make an appointment with your practice's RD to review your food choices to determine if you've been off track for much of the five years. If you haven't been tracking your intake, it's likely that that's the case. Take a week's worth of food trackers to the appointment so that you and the RD have something concrete to work with. You're not the only one who's disappointed either by her own hand or by the band itself. Attending the practice's support group is an opportunity to compare notes, feelings and the rest. If your practice doesn't provide a monthly group, try other hospitals nearby. Most welcome patients from the others. You can turn things around.

Seems to me that the best psychologists and psychiatrists often have the messiest lives and the cobbler's children go barefoot. The laws of nature are at work. VDB, I sent you a private BP "mail." It now occurs to me that you may not be set up for notices of such things. Promise: It isn't a request for professional advice. After all, this isn't a cocktail party.

@@Anilyn -- It seems to me that what you began with here is what you should be saying to your husband. What strikes me in particular is that he's on board for the most part and that you don't want to be seen as your history. You need him to have faith in you so that he can cheerfully support you along the way. You need the same faith in yourself. Yes, it's possible to regain weight lost after surgery. All things are possible, nothing is guaranteed. In the case of surgery, it's up to each of us to eliminate the probability. You might also invite your husband to attend some support group meetings with you. Some time ago a woman I met in the lapband group brought her husband a few times. She had his whole-hearted support. What he didn't quite get but wanted to understand was the emotional part of her particular journey. He was terrific. He'd introduce himself with the addendum, "I'm the hus-bander."

This is not at all to criticize anyone who shared @@gowalking's reaction to the comment in the TV show (never heard of it), but I generally don't have that response. Then, again, no one has ever said "easy way out" to me. I've encountered it only when people who've had surgery report having others say it to them. Somewhat an aside: If someone has significant weight to lose, I'm behind her/him regardless of the method he/she chooses. The only person I can think of offhand who's given me a pang now and then is a woman on sparkpeople.com. She weighed about 480 lbs and was mostly bedridden with all sorts of health and mobility horror stories, not surprising. Her doctor suggested surgery. She balked, found sparkpeople and is now around 200 lbs and still working at it. She's a "star" at SP and, whenever her blogs recount her early days, she mentions balking at the surgery suggestion. Then I remember that she has helluva cause to be proud and it's her success that counts above all. I believe that, when she reaches her goal, she will also succeed in maintaining.

You'll have to ask your own surgeon. Some may want a cath, others not. For peace of mind, ask, too, if it's routine to place a cath only after the patient is out cold. Since the idea of a "male cath" scares you, ask for a marsupial cath? You reminded me that, as I was waking after appendectomy some 30 years ago, I was aware of someone fiddling between my legs. I had to ask, "What are you doing?" to be told that a cath was being removed. I hadn't even known I'd have one and was most irritated at not having been informed in advance. It wasn't the cath that I cared about, but the fiddling in a region that had nothing to do with my appendix. How rude.

My experience wasn't as yours, but I'm stopping by to wish you well. You're correct. You're experiencing something extremely rare, but it sounds as though you're in good hands and getting the attention and care that's needed.

@@Nerdyscared1, welcome to you. The prospect of weight-loss surgery, any surgery, in fact, is nervous-making. There's no way around it, so it's just part of the package. You have a lot going on there and there are ways that you can get some help and support. I'll just toss a few ideas out in brief. Find out at the seminar about the practice's support groups. They are for people who are pre- as well as post-surgery. Usually a monthly event, they are great for sharing information and experiences and for company. I was fortunate to make a good, personal friendship in the process. Other practices in your area probably welcome outside patients to their groups., too. Respite care. You should be able to find this either through a non-profit human and social services organization or the city, county or state health dept or dept of social services. Usually it means day activities for the disabled person so that the caretaker can have a break for other things. It may also involve someone coming in to the home to look after the disabled person. The latter can alternately come under the heading of home health care, in which a health aide comes in a pre-determined number of hours per week to provide personal care for the person, some basic cooking, grocery shopping, laundry. It may vary by agency. Therapy may be something to consider for yourself. I'd prefer that I'm misreading between the lines, but a number of things you've written suggest it. Take a class in something that interests you or identify another activity that is interesting and would put you in with people. You're saying that you have to stop smoking strikes a chord. Who wrote "The Book of Have to" and "The Book of Should?" I think that if we switch to "want to," the task is so much less daunting. Wanting to is a choice, while having to feels imposed by an outside force. Not that I always succeed at it, but I try to operate under "wanting to" and, when I get my mind there, I do much better. As an aside, my late, beloved internist, a brilliant clinician and communicator, told me that, if losing weight and quitting cigarettes were too much to take on at once, it was more important first to stop smoking.

You've got the painting upside down. Turn it right side up and you'll see that losing weight is weight loss. Keep doing what you're supposed to do and it will all come together. Enjoy the fabulous trip you've been having. Never minimize a gift.

Her selfie, gone viral, for those who may have missed it. This one helps. https://pbs.twimg.com/media/CYEFwiRWwAAeKBs.jpg:large

@@FrankiesGirl, you've named quite few difficulties you've been having and have been given some excellent tips and suggestions. Not just new shoes, but shoes that suit your feet and your gait. Example, do you have pronation? You may need an orthotic. Something that simple can prevent foot pain and eliminate spine pain and potential damage. There are sports footwear stores where salespeople know what they're looking at and can guide you well. Or see a podiatrist. Since you were mainly sedentary until recently, getting a checkup from your primary can be a good idea. You may also do well to see a sports medicine, a.k.a. physiatrist, doctor who treats spinal issues. He/she might prescribe some PT and be able to recommend a personal trainer who is knowledgeable about spine. Working with just any ol' personal trainer can be iffy, as their training for certification is online and general. Even I probably could qualify for a certificate, meaning that I'm skeptical about; my bias (which may be wise) is that they're best for people who have no particular issues. Not least of all, your new-found enjoyment in exercise is happy to read about.

@@Teaclinton, "lazy" is a matter of old habits and/or emotional/psychological state, not weight. I just found and lightly skimmed the first screen of the link. It may be useful. http://theorganicsister.com/overcoming-laziness/ If the suggestions that the others are giving make a difference, great. If you still have a hard time making the changes you'd like, maybe some short-term therapy, probably CBT? Do whatever it takes to get you where you want to go. --------------- P.S. How could I have forgotten? Click this and then click the link you find there. http://www.bariatricpal.com/topic/358612-adele-the-everywoman/

I wondered that when I first registered at BP, but the context gave it away. It's a misapplied abbrev -- at least, I hope it is -- as anyone can call himself a Nutritionist. There is no standard of education and training to qualify to use the title. What matters is that a surgery practice have on staff or refer patients to a Registered Dietitian, which is a position licensed by the state only after passing an exam and having completed a course of study. Some "Nutritionists" have studied at least something, but it's still not the same. I've never researched the difference, but your question set me to Googlin'. Here's one result: http://eatrightdc.org/dietitian-vs-nutritionist/