WLSResources/ClothingExch

@@Birdland, if this has been going on for a week, find a surgeon right away. Your band probably needs to be loosened. Right now you are dehydrating as well as getting no nutrients. Check under the "Surgeons" tab, above, and go to the website of your band's manufacturer. If you have the LapBand brand, it's lapband.com. Obesityhelp.com is another source of info. You'll be able to find surgeons where you are now. You may also start a new topic with your location (city & country) and the fact that you want a local surgeon who does bands in the title. No one can refer you if your whereabouts are unknown. No need to panic. Stay calm and get busy. Best wishes to you.

Naked people? You mean I missed them? Hold the phone, I have to click the link again. No wonder your mother was scandalized, you rascalette. (I have an old edition of The Joy of Cooking and the line drawings make me blush.)

Barnum lives. I'm making a wild guess here. Our fair Sharon is one of seven people who bought the cookbook and the other six were relatives and friends of the genius who put it together. Another wild guess. Sharon never has prepared a recipe from the book. Neither have the relatives and friends. I promise I've never heard of this book. The fact that I've been eating asparagus like crazy the past month is only because they are seasonal and local. Asparagus is like eggs and cheese -- a reason to live.

It's either not your taste at all or your forgot that you also use milk in your coffee?

Dear Shocked, You had me nervous for a moment, thinking you were about to come out as made of synthetic stuff. What a relief to know you were referring only to polyamorousness and polyamory. Your mother is cool. She didn't scream and run away. She merely expressed concern for your heart. Do me a favor and don't be surprised by her on account of her age. Anything else, fine, but not her age. As I'm closer to it than to yours, I can say that 72 is not the same as clueless. Go forth and polyply. Or something.

stupid technology

@@sassyfrass23, I get and agree with what you say about the rolls being unhappy-making. I also just noticed that you're at the beginning of your trip. Even if "waist trainers" were proved safe and effective, I can't imagine them being effective during weight loss, as there's no way of knowing what your body may do as it slims. You can smooth out the rolls and bulges nicely with spanx-type items, but you don't want anything so tight that it will restrict breathing, which is a good thing to be able to do. It's kind of nice to be able to breathe. It sounds as though your shirts are made from clingy material. Nylon/silky camisoles do well for smoothing over the rolls, too. If, however, you're hoping for the look of perfection, you'll be disappointed no matter what. For your own sake, be realistic: "Better" is doable. P.S. If I were to wear to a "waist trainer," I'd at least want my waist to be able to turn cartwheels, do back flips and walk the balance beam. Too bad I have no recollection of what I expected from a "training bra" way back when. It merely sounds stoopid now, yet I wouldn't deny a young daughter's request, as my mother didn't deny mine. It's a different thing entirely.

I know nothing of "waist trainers" in terms of being able to recommend or warn away, though I have seen references to serious problems. The notion itself is insulting and repugnant to me. Wearing a garment for a certain effect for a certain occasion is one thing, but do women really need another wholesale statement that we are deficient or defective out of the box?

Torani sugar-free syrups are thin liquids, not thick syrups as you may expect. You can use them any way you'd use "real" syrups as long as you're aware of the consistency. Taste is subjective, so you really need to try for yourself. I use the chocolate in coffee. Sometimes I use a spoon or two and mix with Peanut Butter and a bit of banana as a snack. I bought the gingerbread flavor as an experiment, but didn't care for it in coffee. The bottle will last a long time, as I do like it on my rare french toast. It works for me in oatmeal, too. Didn't care for the pumpkin-spice because I couldn't tell what the flavor was supposed to be. Tried the vanilla and the almond, but never bought them again, which suggests that they were no better than using extracts and splenda in coffee and, for my purposes, less versatile overall. They make loads of flavors. Trying out the ones that have any appeal for you is up to you.

That you did this is colossal. That you came in under your expected time is more than colossal. That you're next leap is a marathon is thrilling, exciting, awesome, a sure thing. A flushed face becomes you.

Seeking the correct tilt so that it rolls off one's back is one way to cope. On your behalf, though, I want to take a quiet, matter-of-fact tone to confront your father with his conduct. "Dad, you take such pleasure in undermining [demeaning...belittling...thwarting...et al.] me. You're a master." "Do you think you could belittle me just a little less?" "Do you think you can be a little less hateful?" With so many possibilities, it's hard to choose. It's common for a parent to adopt the behavior of his own parent, but it doesn't mean he has no accountability. Dementia is an excuse. I can't think of any others at the moment. Grrr.

That's an important, thrilling one, @@Sophie74656, one of the most significant NSV's I think. I had a similar experience about a week after arriving in Onederland at 197 pounds, having started at 310. It became part of an essay that was published five years ago. Excerpt "A few days later a friend and I went to the live HD screening of the Met's new production of Nixon in China. During an intermission, he took pictures of me as he has on other occasions to document my weight-loss progress. A woman watched, laughing, while waiting for her husband. She told my friend, 'She's good,' nodding her head to point toward me while referring to my apparent comfort and fun with our photo session. Ordinarily I would have explained, offered apologia: 'Oh, no, you don't understand, I've lost a lot of weight, I always ran from cameras, I never felt good about myself, I haven't let anyone take pictures in many years, blah blah blah.' This time I controlled the impulse to burden this open-hearted, unsuspecting stranger with my mishegas. This time I smiled and said, 'Thank you.'"

Pull up a chair.

That's a very pretty blouse that pales in comparison to you. I don't get those sideways photos, either, but a look at you is worth a stiff neck. Keep shopping.

I'm going to scold you for that, Miss Reverse Scarlett O'Hara. She was nearly force-fed before the picnic at Twelve Oaks so that people would only see her eat like a bird, i.e., a proper Southern lady. You bent over backward to eat more than you would ordinarily. Where's the sense? To mix movie metaphors, be a lion, not a mowess. I hope that means your insurance is friendlier about plastics than others and that, if you decide to go that route, you'll be spared having to get letters in support from every doctor you've ever known, personal trainers, tailors and all the rest.

If you wouldn't hand over your Social Security number and bank balance on a first date, there's no reason to discuss surgery with someone who really is a stranger. Whether you blurt or simply/casually work surgery into the first few dates just for the sake of full disclosure, you're really confessing what you see as some sort of sin or shame. No one is so defective that he has to 'prepare' the other party. There is no need to apologize for having had surgery or having been obese. There is no need to ask, in effect, if you have the right to live or are acceptable to another person. Tell someone when it feels right. Trust your instincts. We make too big a deal about it. @@Christinamo7 -- "Yes" to the part about letting someone know in advance about the skin. It's tricky, though. How to say it without being apologetic, yet take care of ourselves enough not to see a jaw drop when all is revealed? It's a tough topic, but the important thing is to learn to view ourselves with dignity and acceptance. It's about us, not whomever we may date.

It may be that "Dr. Wong" has had patients, whether one or 50, who revised from band to sleeve and lost no weight, but he seems not to have given the reason(s). I've never heard what he told you. The only blanket statement I've come across is that those who started with band tend to lose at a slower rate than those who had sleeve surgery only. There, too, I can't say whether it's correct or what percentage of revision patients have the experience. (I think that the rate of weight loss is quite less important than the fact of weight loss.) You may want to attend support groups at your local hospitals in addition to asking and browsing here.

Have you considered therapy? There's a big difference between wanting to lose weight and thinking you're "supposed to" want to lose more. Either way, it can help to know the reasons why. You list a goal weight, but you're the one who gets to determine the number. Have you considered a personal trainer? If I understood, you seem to be confusing the nature of strength-training with the nature of cardio. All the pressure and negative talk you're giving yourself will never help.

How much will I win if I bet that your therapy diploma reads, "Came in saying 'I'm afraid of failure' and learned to say the opposite?" Because I've been there and have seen the movie dozens of times, it's with appreciation that I say your thinking is as disordered as your eating habits have been. Being afraid of success is one thing, but it becomes monumental when the fear is worn like a badge. It's an obstacle, but it isn't your identity. If you keep leading with the fear, you'll always stumble over yourself. Failing may not be the most painful experience, but the disappointment is always palpable because, even when we lie to ourselves, the truth gnaws somewhere deep inside. What do you think might happen when, on the "brink of something big," you demand that you keep moving forward into the expected agony? Bruises from falling forward or backward are still bruises. The secret is that the forward fall doesn't really bruise. Sure, it may present new challenges and you may even not quite recognize yourself, but that's what the therapist is for. Same for people you get to know who share the fears. There's something else you can do this moment to prove that you have a choice. Choose to cancel surgery. You don't have to have surgery if you don't want it. You don't have to pressure yourself. No, no, no, I don't really mean to pick up the phone, but just let yourself recognize your autonomy. Do name the reasons you want to proceed until you believe yourself. You named some excellent reasons already. Expand on the list with pen, paper and a notebook that you can have forever. Add to the list as new goals and reasons come to mind and check of the ones that you achieve as you go along. People often talk about not wanting to give up the huge cheeseburgers and fries. It makes no sense, though, that, once those things become painful to eat, their appeal lives on. You won't mourn anything that makes you sick. This doesn't preclude a civilized cheeseburger, or at an appropriate time, a few fries now and then. But that's down the road. Let's not get ahead of ourselves. Back to fear of success. Don't use the overwhelming sound of the phrase to thwart yourself. You can use the past experiences as reminders to cut things into steps to take. The energy that historically has gone into retreating can most certainly be pressed into moving ahead. It's all the same energy. It's incorrect that "...the sleeve will be the tool to break my sabotaging habits." Surgery is a tool for weight-loss, not for adopting new attitudes and behaviors. A tough woman has the power to redirect her energy. You already know that you're tough from all the energy you've expended. Kooky1, I do hope you flirt with looking at things differently. You'll feel stronger and more capable and competent than ever and that is such an amazing thing. (Had I more time, this note would have been shorter and organized.)

@@Valentina, agreed. Sam Elliott, like eggs and cheese, is a reason to get up in the morning. One of them, anyway. He had it when he was younger and he still has it. I don't know "The Ranch," but I was thinking thoughts while watching him in "I'll See You in My Dreams."

@@JamieLogical, thanks for the link. I misunderstood earlier, thinking it was work only on the medial thigh. You've probably mentioned your earlier surgery, so I either missed it or it slipped my mind. Your next trip to Tijuana will be here before you know it.

Not looking back makes sense when it's a thing -- a house, a car or smaller items. When it's your body, that's another story. It's the ultimate house. September does sound a long way off, leaving time to think. Too bad you're not going in in another week or so just to avoid all the anticipation. You'll be so happy once it's done, though. Do you happen to have a link to a spiral incision diagram or illustration? I took a quick look with no luck and am curious to know the difference between it and the deep V incision that I've seen. The only woman I know of in our part of the world is Jennifer Capla. Is she yours?

I'd swear that I posted a link to some Protein powder recipes from SparkPeople, but it's not here. I'd swear that someone replied with a lament that they were all for sweet things, nothing savory. Am I losing it? Whatever happened, I'm back because I just got another Spark email with p.p. recipes. It may be a different batch, as a couple of them seem to aspire to savory status. www.sparkpeople.com/resource/nutrition_articles.asp?id=1850

I stumbled upon the "'Ignore' Preferences" page and saw among the headings "Messenger" and "Chats." I know and use the former, but can't guess at "Chats." Please explain. Might I have partaken unaware?