WLSResources/ClothingExch

@@DaisyAmy, they're correct. You exhibit beauty and your uncles exhibit exquisite taste and refined sensibilities. Ignore the one dopey relative.

Great minds think alike and all that. Put the sheets on in the morning. If you sleep on them tonight, I'll never speak to you again except to call you "chicken Neck" in another year. I mean it.

You are good and you will continue to be good. I think you're experiencing a variation of stage fright. There's little that I can say to help you calm yourself before morning. Once you're at the hospital, though, you'll find that you're busy enough with answering questions for the medical records and being prepped for surgery that you won't have time to be nervous or fearful. The staff will chat you up if they see how you're feeling. You're not going to pass out. For the rest of the day, put on music that makes you feel blissful. Jazz does it for me most often because, not only does it just sound damned good, it makes me think good things. When packing the things you'll take to the hospital, do it slowly; spread the activity out through the day so that, unchallenging as it is, it will help you keep occupied for a minute here and there. Whatever else you're doing today, pace it out for the same reason. Take a few minutes in the morning (not today or tonight) to change the sheets. Again, it will occupy your mind and hands a bit and you'll come home to a fresh bed. You'll sleep very well during surgery, of course, so well that you may be grumpy when the nurses start to wake you afterward. Enjoy the delicious feeling that you'll have somewhere in between there. Most of all, trust me. You are good and you will continue to be good.

@@Steph0625, I forgot. You'll come across the good, the bad and the ugly on the websites and other dating options. Always apply high standards. You have the right to choose; it's your responsibility to yourself. You also wrote that, at 22, it's nerve-racking. Let me whisper this: It was nerve-racking at 16 or so and it stays that way whenever someone wants to get into the dating pool. Mostly. @@KristenLe, I tried to give you a "like" on your note, but my "like" function isn't registering there.

I just want to throw a few thoughts out. Whether you find them worth considering is up to you. It seems odd to me for an age-appropriate man to ask a young woman why she's single. I don't do dating websites, but have been told that many phrases are code. "Why are you single?" may be another way of asking "What's wrong with you?," which leaves the same question for the male to answer. Regardless of that, I do believe that "Why are you single?" has one result only: To put the party being asked on the defensive in one way or another. My point is that you don't have to turn cartwheels for anyone; you don't have to pass anyone's test. It sounds as though you have male friends. Why not ask for input from the one or two who are most sensible and comfortable to talk with about this? As far as how to "act," pretty much as you do in other social situations. If you're hoping to feel a pitter-pat in your chest or butterflies in your tum, well, that often is part of the process. Those feelings do tend to diminish over time as the people learn each other better and don't feel the pressure of "first date syndrome." A good relationship always has a spark, but some time along the way, there still is laundry that needs to be done. Honesty, a good thing in general, but timing is everything. It's healthy that you feel no shame about surgery or having been obese. When it comes to meeting someone after some talks, however, it seems to me that to reveal your weight/surgery history up front is, in effect, preparing or apologizing to the new person, as though there is something shameful. You have nothing to explain or apologize for. It's not as rare for a 22-year old not to have dated as you may think. The others just aren't as open as you or haven't found a non-threatening venue to discuss it. Excellent suggestions. If you put yourself in places doing what you enjoy, you'll be among people who share the interest. It's the old "two birds with one stone." At worst, you'll have had a good time. I'm sure you know all the caveats, but they bear repeating. - Meet only in public places that are well-populated - You pick the place, one familiar and comfortable for you - Suggest first get-togethers that will offer maximum options for conversation, e.g., a bike ride or hike (again, in a populated park) has built-in topics. Bars and restaurants aren't all that conducive unless the people really are comfortable and have much to say to each other. - When meeting someone for the first or third time, let a reliable friend know who, where and when. Be sure your cellphone is fully charged before you start out. Check in with your friend when you head back home and maybe even once you arrive. - This last tip is from a man. When it's time to go, be sure that he drives off first so that you can feel reasonably confident that you won't be followed. For someone to follow out of curiosity but no ill intent is ill in and of itself.

Every time someone puts up a post of this nature, it's an Aunt Alert. Why is it that only aunts, whether first-string or 'great,' make stupid WLS-related comments or ask stupid WLS-related questions at gatherings of extended family? C'mon, all you uncles, get in there! It's your time to shine.

@@Unbridled -- "What are your thoughts? Pros? Cons?" As a woman-person, it's a dismal thought, a "con" all the way. Who wants ugly adornments or wants to go all out to have a pretty piece made glum? The" pro," though, is precaution, not so different from always wearing clean, intact underwear in case of an ER visit. I wondered long ago about wearing an identifying item because of my lapband. Instead, I made up an index card with the info and other medical info that would be important, put it in a plastic sleeve and placed it in my wallet. When I go out for an evening without a bag, I put the necessities in my pockets -- keys, cash, credit card, lipstick, the medical info card, insurance card and maybe one or two others. http://www.google.com/search?q=blind+ng+tube+gastric+sleeve&ie=utf-8&oe=utf-8 This link is to what came up when I googled blind ng tube gastric sleeve to be sure I understood @@erp's "blind NG" correctly. Some of the links within refer to bypass, too.

Yes, I do cook far more than I did pre-surgery, but I always cooked. Restaurants are still dear to me, but I want a greater sense of control. All the advice to ask exactly what goes into a dish and order dry this, steamed that seems to negate the purpose of going to a restaurant. I used to order out a few times a week, too, and have done so infrequently since surgery. I'm fortunate that my band rules out very few foods. Getting "stuck" is extremely rare. This lets me cook as simply or [almost] as elaborately as I please. Fast food/junk food places were never really on my list. I took a bite of Mcdonald's decades ago and swore off. Then, about 20 years ago, I discovered a lapse in my tastebuds and brought home a double cheeseburger and large fries every couple of weeks for two years. I've taken bites of other fast food products once and only once. Same goes for chain restaurants; I shun them. All those places in my past are wildly popular and, therefore, the fault is mine.

You are wonderful. Getting to 'love' exercise isn't in the cards for everyone.* If you view it as a neutral, like brushing your teeth, you may find yourself being more consistent. * It could still happen, but that doesn't really matter** much. * If you vary your routine, it may become more fun. Or not. ** What does matter is that you're wonderful forever.

No, sirree, and you didn't invent role-playing either.

@@Inner Surfer Girl, blushing becomes you.

You've already made excellent changes. Much is a matter of the mind, so you should do wonderfully well as you go along. Fyi, everyone humors @@OKCPirate -- he thinks he invented gonads.

It's young and certainly something to explore further. You have some fun things in common. That you're both clear-thinking to know that your marriages are to Celebrate, not to deny, makes it even better. Enjoy this.

Your note is anything but crazy. You know a good'un when you see her.

@@her1981, maybe it would suit your personality to say something noncommittal with a pleasant tone: "How nice for you!" It isn't confrontational, but they get the meaning. Those who tell you about losing weight and feel compelled to throw in the absence of surgery are being ultra competitive. When they regain, they won't be making any announcements. @@Daisee68, it sounds to me that the ones who tell you about being "back" on their diets are feeling insecure because of what you're doing. Both of your notes bring to mind what happens when I'm waiting for a bus here in the city. If the wait is unusually long -- and, when it comes to waiting, 20 seconds feel interminable -- and another waiting passenger approaches me to vent, I look at him, give a half nod and then, without a word, walk 10 paces away. Long ago it occurred to me that the complainer feels better, but I end up feeling worse. I'm already antsy about the wait; I won't allow the strangers to soothe themselves at my expense. Pfft on them. The scenario certainly is different from what you're relating, but maybe there's something in it that you can use?

@@kbarbs -- Ahem...

You're the paying customer and entitled to a useful response especially in these first weeks after surgery. You can press the issue, but it's your choice, of course.

Sounds cute the way you say it. In that case, what would probably be a once-a-month trip to Billings would be a good thing.

@@LoseItKacy, try calling hospitals in your vicinity. Those that do WLS may also have support groups. It would be unusual if people who'd had surgery elsewhere were not welcomed. The title you chose for the topic reminds me of the old joke and all its variations: A priest and a rabbi walked into a bar...

Since you didn't ask then, you might call now for guidance. If you do, consider also asking about how to know when it's time to make more changes.

It applies to bread and any other doughy things, too. Yup, he had surgery. I'll guess four or five years ago. He may have lost some weight, but, given his weight pre-surgery, not that much. I suspect that he's regained it at least in part. I don't follow your statement. The band circles the top of the stomach, not the other way around. I'm unaware of an incision at the band/stomach meeting point and don't understand how an incision would "hook" anything. If there were a "hooking" step in the procedure, wouldn't it have to be a suture, a staple or something along those lines? If things -- bands themselves and the surgical techniques -- have changed since my 2009 band surgery, please fill me in. I've only known of bands that fasten around the stomach, hence, nowhere else to go (barring a slip). A suture holds the port in place. It would otherwise migrate around our insides.

You may have reached a plateau, in which case, keep doing the right things and all will catch up with you. The only other thing I can think of is "operator error." This is what tracking food is about. If you don't track, get started. If you do, take a look at the last couple of weeks to see where you may be eating things you're not aware of or not aware are counterproductive. No need to go under 1000 calories. Doing so lowers your nutritional intake and my leave you feeling hungry, therefore, perhaps likely to go overboard. If the tracker doesn't show you obvious tweaking opportunities, see your practice's RD and go over them together. It really is common enough for band people to believe their eating well when they're really laboring under some misunderstanding of meal planning. It doesn't mean anyone is a dummy. It only means that there's more to learn.

Since signing on for BP, I've occasionally mentioned in various places having strayed and wanting to get serious again. Finally, Step #1 for the second time.. Band surgery was October, 2009. My highest weight was 311. From about three weeks before surgery until mid-February, 2011, I lost 115 pounds. At 197, my goal of 145-150 was in sight. "Something," an event with emotional fallout, happened and that February, I stopped losing and soon began to gain. I went as high as 268 and mostly have hovered at 265-270. Twice in between I buckled down, lost about 25, only to regain them. All along I've wanted to get back to business. Just in the last couple of weeks, the feeling really set in. I made appointments for esophagram and to see the NP yesterday, ending a two year absence. Sure that I had great dilation (the band had been loosened twice before for that reason) and that the band was out of position, it was a thrill to find that I was wrong on both counts. I'd prepared myself to discuss revising to sleeve, but decided to give the band another shot. The NP agreed that it's worthwhile. The band had been rearing its head for several months, giving signals that I'd eaten enough. Other band signals and sensations that I vaguely recalled from the past were absent, so I had an adjustment, adding .5 cc for now, and already feel hints of the old effects. My next appointment is in August. We'll see what comes next at that time. How nice it will be if the band becomes a good partner again, "nice" being one hell of an understatement.

@@kbarbs, thanks. I just left a note on your topic about screwing up. Promise not to do that again.