WLSResources/ClothingExch

As a non-Methodist, non-any religion that practices communion, I have faith that you'll fine just fine. As the others have said, the wafer will turn to mush on your tongue and a sip or gulp of juice is a drop in the ocean. We converge in one aspect. During family seders of my childhood, I got grape juice instead of wine.

@@CLN.BK, things work in funny ways. Just yesterday I confirmed the next date (September 27) with the host organization and, today, here you are. You've already lost 25 lbs and will lose more by 9/27. You'll have things to give away and will want to start filling in replacements. Beside, it's not mandatory that people bring clothing; sometimes we can still get away wearing what we have, but know it's time to start with smaller sizes. The clothing exchange as a cooperative effort rather than a rigid this-for-that. What's available for adoption depends on what people do bring in, of course, so we always hope for the best. In any case, I hope you'll at least stop in to say "Hello." The conversation is free. I'll be posting the details within the next couple of weeks.

No idea. Call your surgeon.

In my own experience, a "stuck" feeling occurs almost immediately upon eating, not hours after. I'm wondering if you're experiencing some reflux and/or gas (the belly swelling), but this is only speculation. You can give your surgery practice a call to run it by them. If you feel tenderness when you press on the swollen area, be sure to let them know. Don't expect the worst; you're new at this and there really is much to learn. I think the learning curve never ends.

Oh, darling, it's baffling to me that you doubted yourself. You were completely correct and appropriate to ask and press for a useful reply. It's also baffling to me that the surgeon was such an extreme jerk. It is gorgeous that you were vindicated by your peers and the KP staff and that the incident is leading to change. Very weirdly worded. I can't tell if that's a "go for it at the right time" or "egad, woman, have yourself spayed!" You're not alone on that, but I'd hope to find balance in a surgeon. But maybe that is just me. Interesting that it comes up now. Yesterday something brought to mind a letter to the editor in the New York Times many years ago. It responsed to an article about surgeons' bedside manners. The letter-writer was irate at having felt like a side of beef rather than a human being when the surgeon spoke to or about (to residents, interns and third-years, et al.) her. A few days later, a letter in response to the letter appeared: A man, not a medical type, expressed the view (I paraphrase) that no decent human being would be able to carve up another human being; that a surgeon must look at the patient as the medium for his/her art rather than a human in order to do surgery. I fully get that, but, in the setting the OP described, the surgeon was in a lecture hall, not an OR, scalpel in hand.

I've never worked in the field, but, given the nature of a hospital, it seems that there will be no "better time" for the hospital or for her.

.ignore this one

No, never heard of such a thing. Seriously, people who choose bariatric surgery must make great changes in the way they eat and must work out. On top of that, they have surgery. The surgery doesn't do the work; the people do the work. It's possible to gain wait despite surgery and it really does happen. Whether you say that or anything else to your brother or anyone else is up to you. What matters is that you know the truth, but now you know why many people are selective about with whom they discuss surgery.

Not knowing what sort of job you've been offered, I will say that lots of people accept offers and arrange to begin later. It isn't even necessary for the reason to be medical. I think it's more likely that the company will be willing to wait for you than have you work a few weeks and then take off. Better to jump in when you have no interruptions on the horizon.. To take time off after beginning will interrupt getting into the life of the company, learning what you need to learn for the job and possibly will look as though you're not serious about working there -- that other things are more important. The staff and your supervisors would also be inconvenienced by the interruption.

Sorry about this. I wrote a note here that was intended for the status board.

This is not the time to be thinking about losing weight. It's about healing to the point where you will be able to eat solid food. When you get there, park your rate-of-weight-loss expectations. It's greatly unrealistic to expect the same rate that others have. Your body will work as it will. Eat properly, make good food choices, keep a detailed food diary and you'll be fine.* We all want to drop 20 lbs each month. Want whatever you want; it's what you get that counts in this arena. [The food diaries aren't busy work. They come in especially handy if things really are moving stupidly slowly. In that case, it helps to see your practice's RD, taking along a week or two's worth of diaries. S/he'll go over them with you to see where you're going astray.]

It may also help if you drink tepid Water or even slightly, luke-ish warm. Cold water sometimes goes down hard, especially in the morning or at whatever time is one's "morning."

Hey, hey, there, do you know that in some quarters, a day without Water is like a Tom Sawyer without a bucket of whitewash? Yes, it's gibberish. "I don't know what I'm going to do" -- You know exactly what you're going to do: Talk to your hospital roommate, read a magazine or book, sing your favorite songs, walk the corridors... One day out of a lifetime.

I'll work on the belief that 96 ounces was your own choice, not what was advised by the surgery practice? Space the Water out and start early. I had trouble drinking the recommended need 64 oz. and found it easier it start with one cup immediately out of bed. Within half an hour I have a second with synthroid (which requires a full cup). If you don't have meds, drink the second cup just because. After that, it gets easier. Have another the half hour after Breakfast and another the half hour before lunch if not earlier. And so on. You'll be at least half way to goal.

@@Lexigurl82, I'm responding only to your opening note, not having read beyond that. I'll be generous to your former husband and say only that he is and was less than honorable. Is a person of that caliber really what it takes to shatter your confidence and self-esteem? You went into the marriage thinking he was a good guy. He may have been, but people do change. To want to know the why's and how's of the decline of the marriage is unlikely to get the answers, in fact, they wouldn't feel good anyway. The longer you speculate, the longer you'll be going in circles rather than rebuilding yourself and your life. It would be a mistake to judge all men by that one. There are plenty of truly honorable, worthwhile men in the forest. For now, though, it may be that you're not ready to think about dating. It's irrelevant that you filed in January. The divorce is what counts and it's only a month old. Take time to reacquaint with yourself as an individual in the world. Discover what's important to you now and what you want for yourself and your child. You can think of this time as giving birth to yourself. Date yourself, treat yourself well, with tenderness, compassion, love and respect. The men will be there later on.

What's this? You were naked and looking at him from behind? That's more way out there than braying like a donkey. You are a trouper and a half. You'll never experience stage fright again.

"Rule?" In whose kingdom? A person who chooses to live on 550 calories is courting suicidal and homicidal tendencies.

Is it any consolation that she's gutter quality on top of everything you described? A stranger sending you a message about something that touches on your private life? Another "social media" lowlife freak and deservedly insecure and jealous. You're hurting, yes, but you're better than that. Better than either of them individually or together. Sophie, if you calm yourself long enough to look at things as an outsider, you'll know you don't want him.

You do have options for cardio. Go to sparkpeople.com and livestrong.com and search for the sites' chair exercise videos. They have them for cardio and strength. You may want to register and find the Chair Exercise Team. The people will be helpful and there is a permanent thread listing resources, including DVD's. Livestrong probably has a chair group, too. Both sites have oodles of "teams" of all stripes. Google the sadly-named Sit and Be Fit org. It has many DVD's. Your local public TV station might air their TV series. I recall that there's a series of DVDs called Chair Dancing. Search your public library's website for chair exercise dvds. They'll have a number in their own collection and, if you come across some elsewhere not listed at the library, they may be able to get them on inter-library loan. Some gyms offer chair classes. The Y or community center is likely. Some private gyms do, too. That's all that comes to mind now; what I knew goes back at least a few years. I guarantee nothing, but there are good leads in here. Do something for me. When you next see others asking what you asked about, spell it out for the people.

Good for you. I just hope your son never tells you that the hypnotist had you braying like a donkeye. (Oops, I did?) You are a trouper.

Whoa, you need to take a few deep breaths and start over if you're hoping for some replies that may be helpful to you. It's probably because you're upset that your post makes no sense. Example: Are you saying that you have a band that is to be removed, but now you don't want to have it removed? Or are you saying that you don't have a band and are scheduled to have one installed, but now don't want one? Example: What 'dun't' you know about the surgeon? Will asking the surgeon tfill you in on what you don't know? Example: "If this was a problem that was influenced...." To what problem does this refer? How does wanting to go to a hospital influence the [unknown] problem? Etc., etc., and so on. People here will communicate once they know what to communicate about. Whatever is on your mind can be dealt with.

How old is "elderly?" Tread carefully, @Vipervixen. Quite a few of us here are true grown-ups. The reason I see not to tell her -- beyond the fact that it's not her business -- that you're in fact having surgery (since you seem to have told her you're considering it) is that she'll be breathing down your neck, wanting to know how much you're losing and being gleeful if she hears that you've hit a stall or have any sort of difficulty or disappointment. If you lie and speak of any other surgery, you'll have to remember. The "partial gastrectomy" will be true if you'll be doing sleeve, but she'll ask what it means and why. How about that you're just taking time to catch up on things that have been neglected because of work and there are some family responsibilities that need attention. She doesn't have to know that it'll be your husband looking after you. I love the salmon-fishing trip and certainly would do it myself. Your boss, though, will want pictures. I'm still blinking at her suggesting that you court lung cancer and smell like a dead thing.

The others have written so much about meal planning that I'll just add that there are several cookbooks geared to bariatric patients. The one that I bought six-ish years ago (and never used) is Eating Well after Weight Loss Surgery. I mention the title only because I recall that it broke recipes out for the different surgical procedures. So many "regular" recipes are well-suited. Sitting in a restaurant or ordering out is great. Then there is my belief that planning and cooking for myself and occasional guests says that I'm a capable, competent adult. Seeing my refrigerator blooming with produce and other good things tells me that a real person lives here; a fridge with little more than condiments on the door shelves is sad to me. I'm a fan of leftovers when I make a batch of favorite dishes. I'm a fan of a one-time meal of something I've tossed in the oven or broiler or pan. My cooking ranges from life-long dishes to improvisation to either following closely or loosely a recipe for more exotic fare, such as South Asian or North African. Cooking is a creative endeavor; some of the improvisations are merely edible, thus, never repeated. Only once did an improv prove to be fodder for the garbage can. It's an adventure. Above all, cooking is a component of my reigning over my program.