WLSResources/ClothingExch

@@forever changed -- Your attitude is greatly in your favor. It puts you ahead of the game.

My apology, as I seem not to have communicated well. Rather than asking for answers, I was hoping the question marks would point at things you might find useful to consider. My intention now is the same. "...having the discipline" -- Some new habits take effort to develop. It often helps to schedule the activity at the same time every day. "10:00 a.m Everyone is out, the house is quiet, time for meditation." When I need to play games with myself to go forward with something, I'll concoct whatever works. That's how I got from initial info seminar to the OR for bariatric surgery, every step of the way. It is possible to unburden ourselves of bad weight, such as martinet mothers or other toxic people, whether we choose to associate with them again or not. A saddle doesn't have to forever. Again, not easy, but it can be done. I'm not sure, but I suspect that reordering priorities may have a role. Taking a hard, close, disinterested look at the offending party may also help cut him/her down to size. I'm glad the journal suggestion struck a chord. Your idea for a running list of NSVs sounds great. A running list of things that give you pleasure, whether great, slight or between, can also be a boost. I'm also a fan of thinking about or doing things that are just a little less about me and a little more about others when depression (I have a history) is getting the better of me.

@@northstar9148, depression is a common development after TBI, especially if it's long-lasting TBI. While I know nothing about your experience and treatment, I'll private-message you with some details of my treatment. It may be that a similar program is available at your rehab facility. If so, it could be helpful. I'll write later today or tomorrow, as I must get some things taken care of.

@@forever changed, Uh-oh, I was jesting with you. Nothing so sad as a jest fallen flat. It may be that you haven't been at BP long enough to see how often @@KristenLe's reference holds true. Shalom.

@@Unbridled Hey, chickadee, you've pulled together tougher things than this. Aside: I bought three chayotes probably 10 days ago and promptly forgot about them. There they are in a bowl on the table. They're sprouting green shoots with air roots from the large end. If I had a garden or window box, I'd plant them to see what might happen. Maybe I'll just let them sit here, watch what they do and make bets with myself on how long it will take for them to go icky with no Water or soil. I'll give them another three weeks. Don't tell the ASPCP.

@@forever changed -- I logged out and took a last look at the new topics in the screen-rght list. Seeing your "Yes I am thankful for any amount lost" drew me back in to say I hope you really are of such sound mind. It wouldn't be nice to tease about something like that. All the best.

@@northstar9148, having sustained concussion in mid-2015 (I was fortunate to have experienced only mildest and brief enough intellectual impairment) and doing volunteer work with people with TBI (independent of my accident), I sympathize. I hope your prognosis is good. Whether your monthly appointment with the dietitian is part of the program, you may do well to take an alert friend or relative along to help ask the questions that need asking and to ensure that the appointments serve your interests. Your partner can also take notes for you. The RD's are accustomed to working with us in a pre-planned fashion, but you need some extra attention and have the right to get it. Certainly ask the RD if you'll be getting written instructions for the post-surgery period. It's hard to believe that hard copy isn't standard in a practice. Get them farther in advance than they're usually given so that you have more time to read through. That said, however, I hope you've considered your ability to safely follow the program after surgery. Will you have someone to help with meal planning and cooking if necessary? I also hope I'm too late to the party and that all this has been discussed in the surgery practice and you have arrangements in place. My own fear would be not having solid support lined up, going through surgery and then finding myself unable to follow through on my own.

They're fine as long as they weren't just plucked from the tree. You wouldn't like an olive right from the tree. Exercise moderation due to the sodium content.

I have no personal experience with bipolar (except for a moment here and there through the decades which, I suppose, make me a rank amateur) or PTSD, so I have nothing that may be answers. I will throw out a few thoughts in no particular order with the hope they resonate for you. Are you working on these new issues with your therapist? Does the therapist have some knowledge of eating disorders? You don't mention medication, but I'm guessing that you have meds. Might it be time to re-evaluate the dosage(s) or the meds themselves? If your vacation is heavy with amusement parks and other stimulating environments, it may help to redirect your family so that you can also have less hectic times. If not, are you able or willing to spend some time on your own while they do the boisterous things? An hour or so in soothing surroundings may make a difference. Have you tried meditation? I haven't, but it's been on my list for ages. I have yet to check the emails myself, so can't vouch for the quality, but this website is about meditation and other matters that align with weight loss. Of course he's promoting sales of his own materials, but there should be enough in the site alon that's useful. Right now he's running a free, 21-day meditation for weight loss series; I'm subscribed but haven't clicked in. http://www.thegabrielmethod.com/ As an adult, are you now able to cast off your mother's martinet stance on food intake? She sounds like a heavy load to carry around.

When Microsoft began offering free upgrades, I asked a knowledgeable friend if I should click the "go for it" button. He told me that it's generally advised against upgrading from what was original to the computer; that it often doesn't go well. Then I saw the same advise in other quarters.

I did not comment on you or your preparation for surgery and life beyond it, both of which I heretofore had no knowledge. I did not express an opinion of you; I have none. The topic is neither about you nor my view of any individual. It is about ways in which people make unreasonable and ludicrous demands, throw tantrums and delude themselves. It is about the frustration and fed-upness they engender. I accept no responsibility for your taking my notes personally. As you and I do not communicate well, I'll let it slide now. I do wish you well with your bariatric and weight-loss endeavors.

You're certainly entitled to choose to do as you wish with your scale and others. Your decision, though, seems counter-intuitive enough that I wonder if you've had surgery or intend to have surgery. My weight doesn't define me, yet it is a factor in who and what I am in my eyes. It matters. Being aware of my weight in numbers helps me stay mindful so that I don't lose track and gain more. I became aware of truck weigh stations when I was a young thing on a cross-country adventure. You conjure a picture for me of myself were I to stray: Only a machine at the state line would have the capacity to measure my weight. I don't have a scale, having discarded many years ago the ancient analog type. Since surgery I've had a few bouts of wanting to buy a new one, but have chosen to weigh myself each time I'm in any doctor's office. I don't care if there is a few pounds' discrepancy; when one talks about losing 100, what difference can a couple make? As long as I'm eating properly, weighing only at offices works for me. Seeing a number that drops consistently tells me I'm doing good work which is a reward itself. It is also concrete evidence that I'm achieving what I set out for. Forget all that. Seeing the number diminishing is exhilarating. It's that simple and it's that good.

With some, it seems a matter of medical interpretation, for lack of a better term, and personality. Some are by nature on the conservative side while others are less so. One hopes that in laying down the law or easing up on it, they consider whether a patient has particular health concerns. I also suspect that the more conservative are that way because they think the patient will go wild if not given limitations; they don't want to leave room for such a patient to blame them for failure to lose or worse. It's called "CYA," isn't it? That same surgeon may also judge another patient to have sound judgment from the start and, therefore, be less rigid in advising.

You are fortunate in the practice you chose. It's their responsibility to provide what you need to know and do a good ob in the OR and with follow-up, but we have at least as great a responsibility for being on top of things. Some of the info is more complicated and eating after surgery (when on solid food again, like real people) may take some meditating and cogitating until we get it figured out. That's all fine. What matters is that we continue asking until it all makes sense. Let it be known that I do and eat some things that my RD used to shake her head at. At the same time, I went in one time with a week or so of food diaries because I wanted her input. She was so impressed with my choices overall that she asked permission to make copies to give to other patients. I was a schoolgirl getting a gold star. Lots of us wiggle within our respective practices "rules" and guidelines, but only after we know what we're doing. What makes it safe, barring particular health concerns, is that practices do differ on many things. Laney, this does not apply to you [now], as you have yet to hit the OR. You'll be great.

@@sc101071 -- This means you. Your reference to "mocking" is inaccurate. I won't speak for anyone else, but I often try to give a clear, accurate picture of what's what to newcomers, especially those who clearly know nothing despite having had countless opportunities to educate themselves at the feet of their surgeons and other practice professionals. They come here wanting to hear things that will contradict what they'd already been told -- that is, if they heard what they'd been told -- so that they eat as they please. When three or eight of these kiddos come along in the space of one or two days, it's a bit much. I'm not paid enough here to repeat over and over to individuals who get huffy because their great toddler egos don't hear what they want. Oh, be sure I'll try again, but for now, I'm on vacation from them. There's a worse one! chicken, potato and gravy 9 days post-op because surgeon's diet doesn't make sense. Exactly what is wrong with chicken potato and gravy, I should like to know? If I were only days past surgery and had to hold off, I'd put them all over my body.

Oh, yes, my beloved Greenmarket at Union Square, open four days a week. The quality is far superior to that at supermarkets incl Whole Foods and local, fussy shops. The sellers are considered local (the last I knew, being within 200 miles of the city was a requirement) rather than huge, commercial growers,which means variety that far exceeds the stores' offerings. A favorite farm owned by Asian immigrants (sorry, I don't know which country) specializes in Asian produce. I've fallen in love with things like tatsoi and another the name of which eludes me at the moment, but it tastes of cumin and is heavenly in salads or cooked. This particular stand does small cooking demos; they bring a couple of electric skillets and cook up things so that buyers can expand their horizons. Quite a few of the farms are organic. This particular Greenmarket is the largest in Manhattan. The administrative booth has lots of info, including which sellers attend which days, what they sell and where on site they are on which days. They also have recipes to hand out. The goods include fruit and vegetables; yarns; all manner of unexpected fungi, goat meat, poultry; fish and shellfish; honeys (some from hives on NYC rooftops); maple syrup and other maple products; houseplants; on and on and on. Saturday is the busiest day since the market opened about 40 (?) years ago and the greatest number of sellers are on hand. P.S. It's open year-round, so absolutely seasonal. A number of sellers grow out of season produce in greenhouses, so we always can get the basics at the very least. I love it for the goods, the atmosphere and the conversations. Have I told you about.....

Writing my note just above got me riled. The topic linked here exacerbated things. Its opening post is a perfect illustration, yet another. I shall click "Post" and move on to pleasant things. http://www.bariatricpal.com/topic/374975-will-it-mess-up-my-surgery/

You may find a BP group under the appropriate tab, above. As already mentioned, check with your own surgery practice. You can also call other hospitals in your area; most welcome patients from other practices. NWWLS in Everett, if in reasonable distance, likely has a group.

It occurred to me several months ago that the psychological evaluation that prospective patients undergo is slightly less important than an intelligence eval, which is not required. While I find it hard to believe those who report having been given no written materials by their practices, it certainly might happen. The first sin of the patient is not to ask for guidelines and other information from the practice. They are the foundations on which we formulate some of the most important questions. Some of you posting in this topic have been here a short time. Give it a little more time and your eyes will roll, too. If they don't, you will not have been paying attention. More than a few BP users are and were poor candidates for surgery. No one considered their powers of comprehension or looked for evidence of common sense. Just in the past couple of days someone eagerly asked about cutting back on calories; no doubt the individual sat out middle school or junior high health ed classes. This is not to say that most don't have the capacity, but their thinking needs a total overhaul. In theory we're here in part to point people in the right direction. After a while or from time to time, it becomes oppressive and I need to step back from wasting my time.

@@Djmohr, he may not have had any one person in mind, but just before arriving at this topic, I saw a couple of new ones that, had he had, might have prompted @@4MRB4PHOTO's outburst. I wanna hear what I wanna hear an' nothin' else will reach my ear.

P.S. Getting more and more excited for you.

@@Inner Surfer Girl, I am thrilled beyond thrilled for you. You've been a hero to me in many ways from the start. You've got so much to offer on all fronts. I don't know what sort of job(s) or field(s) you're seeking, but you'll be an amazing asset anywhere. I write great personal references if that's wanted by a prospective employer; it's a little off the wall, given the nature of our association, but you may interview with someone who's got imagination. I'm not familiar first-hand with Hotter shoes, but they have a couple three styles in extra wide widths which you may find right for skirts and/or pants. RetailMeNot.com usually lists good discount offers which probably are accepted by Hotter. I don't know where Hotter ships from, but I believe I've seen notations about free shipping and returns. http://www.hotter.com/us/en Easy Spirit seems to have some possibilities: http://www.easyspirit.com/ This one is a local store in business forever. I'm not first-hand familiar with it either, but they specialize in hard-to-fit shoes, orthopedics, et al. Why not browse the catalogue? http://eneslow.com/shop-online/women-s I think that clothes that fit properly, especially for overweight people of 'unique' proportions, look so much better than adjustable things such as drawstrings. They look neater and, for your purposes, more professional, too. A proper fit looks better in two ways -- the garment looks like better quality and it is far more flattering to the wearer. It gets more expensive, but, if it boosts your confidence and you feel ready for anything, it's worth it. You may find a local dressmaker/seamstress or two who can make things for you at prices equal to or not much higher than ready-to-wear. You'd have your choice of fabrics, etc., and the dressmaker probably knows enough to advise you on fibers that work best for the most flattering clothes. To find someone, you can try the online version of good, old-fashioned Yellow Pages (remember that?). Another possibility is to ask your dry cleaner; if the dry cleaner has a resident tailor, see if that person makes clothes from start to finish and if you can work something out either in the shop or after hours. If there are sewing classes at a public school or some sort of continuing ed facility, the teacher may also do dressmaking. If I could sew, I'd visit and whip up a complete wardrobe for you. Barring that, accept my wishes for a wonderful adventure ahead. I hope you'll write as things develop.

Six years now for this free clothing event for people throughout NYC and vicinity. That's five and three-quarter years longer than any other WLS exchange in the country and probably the world. We are a tough breed. Even better, you're invited to take part or just stop by if you'll be in from the provinces on April 11, 2016. Click here for details... Clothing Exch Master PATIENTS.docx If you have any questions about the program, please post here rather than sending them to the email address in the flier.

@@CLN.BK, I don't mind at all, but you'll have to tell me what it means to "tag" and how to do it. You'd be shocked if you could hear the way I speak to my sweet, lethal little laptop. Alternately, you may want to private-message me your email address so that I can add you to my email list for the next and later events.