WLSResources/ClothingExch

That's a nice thought, but I think a handwritten note alone can express it all and would be greatly appreciated. A gift wouldn't be inappropriate if that's what feels right to you. If you take that route, something for the baby would be good -- acknowledging a wonderful event and not too personal. People who do good things for us in behind-the-scenes ways, e.g., doctors, lawyers, rarely know how we fare down the road. A note means a lot to their human sides. About a year ago I had occasion to call a lawyer whose name was unusual enough that I asked if he were related to an ER doctor who took care of me several years earlier (not bariatric related). It occurred to me when all was said and done that the doctor, because his only contact with patients was in the ER, never knew what happened later and might like to know about some people. I called the hospital to get a mailing address for the MD and learned that he'd moved on. Now here was his lawyer brother on the phone. I told him how his brother's medical recommendation had made a major, positive, long-term change in my life. He was thrilled to be able to pass the word on the the brother because he wondered about his own past clients from time to time..

@@Browneyedgirl41, you're still young. All you'll ever have to do is wear the bathing suit that makes you feel like a righteous babe. You hear that, @@christinah ? Listen up all of you. A scar is not a sin. It's not the mark of Cain. It's not even the mark of Zorro. It's not a crime against humanity. If you're insisting on being unattractive or insecure or any other in- or un-, find another way. Our bariatric scars are marks of our own power.

@@Browneyedgirl41, git yerself into that bikini, girl! You won't even have to enter a contest to wipe the rest of them out.

@@christinah, maybe, maybe not. It remains to be seen. As @@Browneyedgirl41 indicated, some people get raised scars and others don't. Keep in mind that no all raised scars are the same. My lapband port incision healed to a raised scar. I suppose it's considered slightly raised, but it is reddish. Do yourself a favor and don't overworry. Vanity is one thing, but don't make yourself miserable. Given the choice between a raised scar and obesity, which is less problematic? You'll still be lovable and someone will be happy and honored to kiss your scar. Your elbow, too.

Do you use My Fitness Pal? I don't, but would be surprised if it doesn't include a per-serving calculator. There probably are loads of online recipe calculators. I use the food tracker at sparkpeople.com, which has a recipe calculator. The instructions are clear -- enter the ingredients and their amounts, then the number of servings. Hit the button and you'll get the data for a single serving. That's the most basic use of the program. You can go through the remaining steps to save the recipe there and, if you find that you get more or fewer servings from the batch, you can recalculate the number of servings.

Not the speculating has a point, but she may have meant because you have people who'll be able to help out. Thank you for the compliment. You made my day. They will.

@@LipstickLady, you're fresh. Do I have to slap you every time we go out? Could get interesting.

Daisee, what I'm about to say isn't gospel, as I haven't had reconstructive surgery. What follows is simply bits (we'll come back to that in a moment) that I recall a friend who had what you've signed on for a number of years ago. Also some of what I recall from more routine surgery. The lady bits. Your friend has them, too, and she knows they're something you have in common. You were present at her lady bits festival and I'll bet that, at the time, she didn't give a rat's asss who might see them. Sometimes they are merely body parts, remember? If it will make a difference, let her know ahead of time that you may need help with your down there. That said, if you do think you won't get past the discomfort, then make arrangements with the home care nurse. She's also adept at something else you'll need and which your mother and friends may not be: Helping a patient to rise from a seat when the parts that move the rising muscles and parts are screaming. It's that sort-of linking arms maneuver? Now that I think of it, it's probably best to have the nurse for the five days because her familiarity with the whole routine will ease your mind. (I'm sorry to be suggesting options. It wasn't my intention, especially since you want to make your decisions and get everyone lined up.) I think I'd opt for the professional and have one personal person around for extra company and help. Ask at the surgeon's office about what aftercare involves and what to expect when you're awakened from surgery. They may also put you in touch with a patient or two who've had the same procedures simultaneously. You'd be able to get a good idea of what to expect. YouTube probably has lots of videos by women who've done the procedures, too. After two weeks you may not want to drive home on your own. Even if you're past the worst and have decent movement, it probably would be extremely tiring -- far more than a five-hour drive is under the best circumstances. I'm in the camp where I don't like surgical surprises. Even if something is going to be dreadful, I want to know ahead of time. It seems to lessen the crappiness and doesn't leave me feeling duped.. Sorry to have rambled around. I'm on your side.

@@LipstickLady, I've heard that about you. I've also heard that your nose has grown as long as a didgeridoo. Oy gevalt, such subject matter. You realize that we really are dating now, don't you?

@@Valentina wrote: "I love to sprinkle nutritional yeast on them..." There went my erection. [Don't no one grouse at me. There is no good equivalent expression and @@Inner Surfer Girl bears full responsibility for the topic title. I don't even know what nutritional yeast is and I shall bask in this bit of ignorance forever.]

There's nothing I can say about bypass. I was beginning to think I might be a revision candidate, but, happy to say, my band is still viable; seven years next month. May I ask why you're considering revision?

Are your family's constant wrist sizes a genetic trait? I can't say I've ever heard of wrists remaining [comparatively] fat-free when all other parts aren't. Of course large bones exist, but most aren't. I still say you've done splendidly. Adieu.

I've heard that many times from anorexics, but never from or about overweight people. What I have heard from many overweight folks is that they are "large-boned." Largely bone-headed, methinks. Anyway, the main thing is that you're doing beautifully well in terms of weight and attitude.

The good news is that you know which relatives are cuckoo. I'm not "all excited" about your foood funeral. The extent of my opinion on them is "I dunno, I guess I don't see the point." I thought I'd do a 'last meal.' While pondering what it might be or how many days it might span, it occurred to me that one more or one fewer gorge would do nothing for me and so I skipped the whole thing. At the same time I knew that if a particular foood truly would be off the plate forever, I wouldn't miss it; I'd come to shrug at it. It has played out that way since surgery seven years ago. @@Lipstick Lady said it well. My other choice was to lose some weight pre-surgery. My surgeon had told me she didn't care about that and I thought "Goodie!" Then, three weeks before, I changed my eating and lost 11 lbs. The change in attitude came when I realized that, if I were serious about losing weight, I'd start right away. She also remembered the spelling thing. I'm surprised that "funerals" doesn't turn blue. They missed an op.

I love the ones who "like" a post in a rant topic and then go elsewhere to post criticism of the topic. It's either a comprehension deficit or wanting to be all things to all people or both.

Ptish-tosh. You'll be criticized for something or other, so why wait? Make something up now and get the inevitable over with. It's the bariatric version of "lie back and think of England."

[Are you sitting?] I'll take up the slack. For a price.

I don't know who you are quoting there, but it isn't about stupidity or lack of education. It's about digging one's heels in and screaming, "I don't want to make any changes. I refuse to make changes. I'll hate anyone who suggests that I make changes, whether it's someone in BP or my surgery practice." If my allotted time weren't up, I'd spell it out further.

Same here, but there are those whose posts I read and reread as I decide whether I might get through. It's also got to do with my mood of the day and whether I think I'd manage to be patient on paper. It's your great big eyes peering out from the tiny circle that keep me riveted here. Also you smarts and humor.

Let's start at the end. "...don't think it's practical...?" What does that mean? That's a rhetorical question. One of the classic male problems is not knowing that "practical" sometimes has nothing to do with anything. It would be imprudent not to ask for help. Good for you for apply the relationship topic to all your relationships. Since you've been independent post-surgery before, know that this will be the same. You don't need anyone staying over. You will want a couple of people you can call should you need help with something that arises unexpectedly. Get them lined up before surgery. Buy as many of the things you'll need in advance, including whatever prescriptions you'll be given to take after surgery. Let your practice know you'll be on your own so that they will give you the pain scrip beforehand. Do my classic female thing. Change the sheets on the morning of surgery. That morning, not the day before. When you return home, you'll have a lovely, fresh bed. If it's not your usual, take a set of sheets to the hand laundry a couple of weeks before. You'll be in for a treat when you get into lightly starched and pressed sheets. . From now on ask for directions when you're driving in unfamiliar territory. Drat that "male-only" thing. It never shows up until it's too late.

I get it. Sometimes I'm incredulous and other times I manage to look the other way. The latter is more productive for me. It's one thing to waste time on myself, quite another to waste it on a stranger. Yet I know I'll be sucked in again. A favorite are the ones hoping not to be required to lose weight pre-surgery, preferring to keep gorging until the OR. They get major huffy when I write that surgery is a grown-up proposition and losing weight prior announces that one is serious. Hope you feel better for ranting.

Are you taking very small bites and chewing them to smithereens? If not, it can make a difference. 20-30 chomps per bite may sound tedious, but you'll also discover the full flavor of whatever you're eating. (You're experiencing something that's common among lapband people.)

I don't know about the gentleman under consideration, but lots of people have surgery without wanting success. Some travel under the ambivalence banner, others under the "gimme magic" sign and yet others, well, they are anyone's guess.

There's little you can do. Like everyone else, he makes his choices. It seems to me that your best shot is to shoot for his paternal emotion: "Daddy [or whatever you call him when you and he are closest], I don't want you to die. I don't want to die either. That's why I had surgery. Let's partner on the program." Don't even say "I love you." He knows.