WLSResources/ClothingExch

The others have already said it may be your boyfriend's fear of being left for greener-pastured men. If he's obese, it may also be that he doesn't want to be left alone in terms of losing his eating partner. Regardless, this has little or nothing to do with him. Your life, your body, your health, your self-image, your mirror. No one else has a vote.

As you've discovered, if you stay home alone instead of doing what you enjoy, you do feel lonely. Feeling lonely in a place with an unguarded kitchen is the road to perdition. Being with friends occupies your mind and feels good. Feeling good makes it easier to focus on the company. Check the online menu of the restaurants you go to before you leave the house. Decide in advance what you'll order. Have fun. Again, it's about the people.

Why assume anything? There are several possibilities and, unless someone names the one, you'll never know what they may know as fact. If someone does say, "We know you had bariatric surgery," ask how they know such a thing. If the answer reveals research, then make a formal complaint if you wish. Otherwise don't go getting even slightly paranoid. You have more important things to do. If you want to stop the gossip behind your back, tell the next one who comments on your appearance that you hadn't been well. (It's true as far as not feeling so hot in the days right after surgery.) If someone says, "We think you had bypass," tell her that you had coronary bypass. Not true, but they'll feel like creeps for being yentas. Make up any preposterous, ludicrous or otherways farfetched story that entertains you. When asked about my nonstandard appendectomy incision (an 8" vertical cut starting a couple of inches above my belly button and just to its right), I said I'd been camping in the back country of Yellowstone when appendicitis struck. With no way to get back to a more populated area, I drank enough and performed appendectomy myself. If you say anything with a straight face and keep it simple, people will believe you or at least believe that it's possible.

@@reree6898, not only do you look gorgeous, wear a much smaller size and feel so much better Healthwise, but the doors in your house have grown wider during the past year. I hope you've taken that close a look at your photos.

@@jintycb, speaking of balls and kicking asss, say the word and I'll deal with that one.

This is a great read. I stopped in especially because our ways of thinking often seem to mesh. You've had a great run this past year and you're forever in the running. Kick asss!

No. It's only the stench and pollution of suicidal leanings. That is, we've been told for many years that second-hand smoke is a danger, but that's irrespective of bariatric surgery.

Is that anything like moo goo gai pan? Sorry about that. I have a guess at the meaning. Going to google to confirm. Be right back. ----------------------------------------- Okay, I got the "Wri," but thought that "No" might be "November. I've never heard of this program. It sounds wonderful. I'm more an essayist, but I'll keep this in mind for next year. Have a great time with it.

@@Sirmikael, you wife must have quite a sense of humor.

Nothing wrong with wanting to look good. Anyone who says it isn't a consideration when having surgery is a big, fat liar. Have you asked the surgeon for pictures of other patients who he left "a little loose?" The words aren't particularly encouraging, but seeing a few people after they've had a healing period may show you exactly what you do want. (I'm not suggesting that everyone has identical results, but you know that.)

@@JamieLogical, that's you? Holy mackerel. If I were to end up anything like you,* my scars would be a highlight of the tour. Shoot, I'd never care. * Ain't gonna happen for a number of reasons, but I can be better than I am.

Now I must quibble with you. Minnesota sounds "lovely." New York sounds "adventurous" or "interesting."

"mngreeneyes and MNDogMom like this" See that? One has rare, pretty green eyes and one is mother to a dog. What am I to make of Minnesotans?

Ah, the truth comes out. Kick him in the shins and put him out with the dog. Don't kiss him.

I've heard of things that people do with clothing, but none of them are weight-loss people. Make a patchwork quilt. Someone's mother had kept the daughter's things since infancy, including a cloth diaper or two. The mother made a quilt from pieces, working outward a piece of diaper at the center. She presented the quilt to the daughter when she married. (A little sappy, even creepy, for my taste, but that's irrelevant here.) Make throw pillows. Sweaters included.

@@icyblufrz88 -- Big congratulations on your excellent work since the beginning of the year. I think you're asking for help with a decision that you have to make for yourself. Surgery can and usually is an amazing aid to success. If I were you, the two things I'd give most consideration in making the decision are: 1. My history with losing weight. Have I done it at least a couple of times, only to regain? If I have the usual history of losing/regaining, do I understand why the latter? What do I think would make the difference? 2. Could I possibly regain even after surgery? The answer is "Yes" with any of the procedures. People regain, sometimes most if not all of the weight lost. (This is a possibility, not an inevitable event.) Maintaining requires life-long awareness. Do I have the confidence level to follow through? (This is not to say that one must be super-human, but one must be able to pull back from the brink when getting too close.) If there is an "easy" part, it's the losing process. The greater challenge is maintenance. This is a universal. It occurs to me just now that, if you start a running list of the reasons you want to lose weight, you'll have a concrete measure for deciding. Keep the reasons narrow and specific and add to the list whenever something else comes to mind. Then, when the list is pretty lengthy (and it can go on for pages), consider the likelihood of success for the long term.

Gas pain in the left shoulder can take a few days or a few weeks. It's a wait-and-see affair.

Does that first line mean that you're trying to smoke two cigarettes daily? "Cutting down?" There's no such thing. Smoking is smoking; the amount is irrelevant. Most people have a hard time quitting. They become irritable at best, near-homicidal at worst for a couple three weeks. Such is life. Taking in extra oxygen helps greatly but briefly. Whenever you want a cigarette, inhale as slowly and deeply as possible -- feel your diaphragm expand -- and then let it all out as slowly as possible. Inhale through your nose, exhale through your mouth. Do it every time you want a cigarette. Put the money you're not spending on cigarettes into a jar. Decide for yourself what you'll do with the money once you reach the amount you determine. Head out of the house for a walk around the block when the urge is upon you. More Water.

I'll keep an eye out for them. You missed Tuesday's clothing exchange. Next time, probably April, why not combine free shopping with a visit to NY? No matter what you wear or where you wear it, you're still tops.

@@trekker954, you have a lot of options now. Cauli cooks up very soft and non-fibrous. You should be fine with most vegs. You won't go wrong if you trim the more fibrous vegs.* Example, the broccoli stalk is fine, but use a peeler to take off the outer/dark layer (at the cut, bottom side, you can see when you're at the paler green). Avoid very thick asparagus spears; the bottom portion, often a long length, can be woody. With thinner spears, just snap off the bottom where it snaps naturally when you break it. Use the peeler to take a little off the lower portion of what remains. If, however, the spears are very thin, maybe just scrape a little from the lower end. Apply the same judgment to others that are fibrous. * Some may never be problematic, but why risk spooking yourself so early in your sleeve career?

It sounds as though your lapband is working for you.

Hi, Sami. You're off to a great start and I'm glad you mentioned that you're prepared for change. Not all surgeons do the five-incision procedure. I don't know that a surgeon will do it only one way. It may depend on an individual patient for some reason. It may depend on whether the surgeon had a good Breakfast that morning. Who knows how the wackos think? Before my surgery, I met someone who had one incision -- in the belly button. It seems it was to be the new thing. I don't know how common that is. I asked my surgeon about it. She thought it left too much risk for hernia. I have the five you were expecting. Two incisions sound nice. Where are they positioned?

@@mngreeneyes -- Pam, Babycakes, not only do your eyes look larger, you look cuter (as though that were possible!). I think yours is the first post I've seen about a new work ID photo; a brand-new topic in and of itself is exciting around here. Your upcoming 10K is even better. Psst, maybe next time you'll wear a different color for the headshot. As an additional layer of change, everyone else's eyes will pop. You're terrific.

I intuit that "500" is a typo and that you intended "1500." 500 is très unhealthy for anyone under any circumstances. Your goal is life rejuvenated; 500 won't get you there.

I've just skimmed the article and certainly will be back to read it thoroughly. If the writer had been up at Bessler's office at the right time, she may have mentioned fliers for my clothing exchange; I demand a revisit! @@parisshel, haven't seen you in some time. It's nice to see you now.