WLSResources/ClothingExch

There is no cheating. There are choices. You've been making choices that are now making you unhappy. Stop. You have no idea whether your almost-at-capacity band is at a good level for you now. The only way to find out is to stop eating whatever junk and see how you do. Decide what you want to do. If it is to lose the weight you've gained and stop messing around, you won't have to be disappointed. You might even find satisfaction with yourself. Remember that? It was good, yes?

Sorry, but that's not the best question to ask. Some people will "Yes" and others will say "No." The only thing that matters for you is your own experience. If I were you on a Sunday, I might give it until Monday late morning or early afternoon. If the discomfort hadn't disappeared by then, I'd call my surgery practice to describe the feeling. Of course you don't want to have any Fluid removed, but it's necessary if you're feeling pain and unable to eat. Your idea to stay on liquids for now is smart. Please -- in the future, don't eat while you're preparing food. Eat only when you're sitting at the table for a regular meal or planned snack. The common wisdom for losing weight with or without surgery is to eat only when mindful and not doing things that can be distracting.

It came for me when losing weight felt like just one of the things I was doing, just another component in any ordinary day. Most definitely I was aware of losing -- and I would never not want to be aware of that little detail while in the process -- but somehow it was simultaneously as significant and insignificant as brushing my hair and locking or unlocking the door. If your surgery was recent, give it time. It probably will take time, but the feeling of not being consumed by the whole thing will sneak up on you. Something will remind you that there is more in your life than losing weight. *********** P.S. @@Djmohr just got in there. Her post reminds me that I omitted a detail. I do spend time every day planning meals, keeping track and all that, but, again, it's just a detail among countless others. Like breathing, I suppose.

It's realistic if you find that it works for you. If it doesn't work, it's not a great idea. Lots of people want to weigh often because it keeps them honest. I don't have a scale and won't until I feel the need or interest in having one. As long as I eat properly, I know I'm good. I know that a scale doesn't keep me from pouring ice cream down my gullet. When I have a doctor's appointment of any sort, I get on the scale. That's me. If you believe it will work for you, there's one way to be sure. You might want to think a little more about "I just have issues with the number and when I'm dieting , I could lose 3-4 pounds in a week but I'm never satisfied..." That thinking may turn out to be a stumbling block. Measured against how long it took you to reach a weight that suggested surgery and how long you stayed there, is losing so rapidly really an emergency? If you eat properly, you will lose at the rate your body releases the pounds. It's that simple. Don't look for way to pressure yourself with extreme expectations. Be kind to yourself.

Solid foood five days after surgery? Unless you're drinking the brotth and tossing the dumplings, in which case it isn't...

Why not do what you did to lose 88 lbs? You certainly can do the proteein drinks for a while, but I think its a crummy idea if you're going to feel as though they're a punishment for having gained 10. Real food is so much nicer, don't you think? Exercise is healthy for everyone at any time. While you do it, you're not eating -- a surprise benefit. You can start simply by taking a brisk, 45-min. walk around the neighborhood. Hydrate properly for whatever form of exercise you choose. Don't pressure yourself with deadlines. You didn't lose 100 in the year and, therefore, 88 isn't good enough? Think about it. Getting back in the saddle as just something you do rather than a major project. You've been in the saddle, so you know how to get up on the horse. If you've brought bad-choice foods into the house, pitch them out as soon as you finish reading my note. Make the good kind of grocery list you'd become accustomed to. Plan, roughly or cut in stone, your days' menus for two or three days ahead You're got the power. If your Thanksgiving-time lapse was emotional/environmental, cut it out. If, as @@princess77 suggests, your band needs adjusting, make the appt. You know which it is. You're good.

I know. You were clear. I replied anyway because I think a useful answer goes beyond coping suggestions, not all of which work for everyone anyway. Maybe I'm also fortunate that most things advertised never appealed to me. I have my other demons to fight off. Another suggestion. Be wild and crazy and go for beef bouillon, too.

@@Didjit -- "And to the women, I hope you didn't feel slighted by my request for feedback from the men in particular. I just wanted to encourage their voices as we seem to be a minority here." Speaking for myself, not at all. It's your topic. You'll find that if you post in the Men Only forum, you'll hear from women, too. It works that way in the Women Only forum, too. It's less that nothing is sacred and more that people want to take part when they think they can contribute something of value. Re. your second sentence, here's a wild guess and, of course, I'm probably way off: You're either a teacher or psychologist or were a summer-camp counselor when you were in college. I hope you'll post more as you go through the decision-making process. Because of the way I look at things, I also hope you keep Wednesday's appt with the surgeon. You're still not committing (unless you do), but he/she is the one who can answer so many of your questions on the procedure and outcome.

@@Erin25, if this is the first time in your life that you were consigned to something you didn't like, you're the only one. Remind yourself of why you had surgery. We (that's the royal "We") hope you considered your willingness to make major changes when you were considering surgery. Consider these first days post-surgery as basic training. in the army. Uh-uh, no suggestions here for things you can eat since you've already announced you're on cleare likwids. You can flavor up the Water with Crystal Light or something similar. It's not the same as cheeseburgers, but at least the mixing will occupy you for a few seconds. Were you told no bouillon? That should be fit within your instructions. The fact that it's hot will be a nice change from what you've been drinking. One week out of a lifetime. Big deal. It gets better.

Make the call on Monday. The last thing you need is opinions. If four out of five people offer the opinion that there's no need to stop taking anything, I'd hope you'd ignore them. What you got from @@Shibmar doesn't fall into the opinion category. It's accurate info. If you do have cardio-vascular concerns, you've probably gotten clearance for WLS from your cardiologist already or it's in the works, yes? I can't imagine that the bariatric surgeon wouldn't have specified the necessity. Go forth and be fab.

I'm glad you didn't rule women out. Some things are universal rather than gender-specific. You'll find disappointment down the road if you look for it. We tend to find what we seek in any realm. As to medical troubles, I think the question is 99% moot. There is risk with any surgery. There is risk upon getting out of bed each day. There is risk from staying in bed. It would be nice if your husband had expressed faith in your resolve to follow through. At the very least it helps to have our closest people not make faces at us. What matters more is your own faith. In a perfect world he would and/or will be your "second main support," if I may put it that way. We all need to be our own main supports. We're "It." @@Aggiemae raised a significant question. It's common for the closest people who are obese or even common-garden overweight to resent surgery. The fears usually center around losing the eating partner or being the only fat person in a room as the other slims down. It's important to talk about this stuff in a worthwhile relationship. Opening the subject isn't the easiest, but it can save the connection.

@@redheadjo, I know nothing about bypass surgery in all its forms. What I do know is that losing weight and maintaining are a matter of changing eating habits forever. Period. This doesn't mean that high-cal, high-carb and otherways "fattening" foods can never be eaten, but quantities and frequency are what is important. If your friend hasn't been regaining, she's not going overboard as a way of life. Just as or even more important, none of the surgeries are magical. Surgery doesn't lose weight; it just lays there waiting for the person who wants to lose to make make proper choices and remain mindful. Surgery is an aid, not the answer. It is possible to regain despite surgery.

@@OzRoo, don't listen to Ken. The truth is that they're trying to tell you something. On the other hand, the problem that @@proudgrammy is having really is a tech issue. (Where are those idiotic yellow thingies when you want one? Oh, there they are...)

Not an esophagram, a.k.a. "barium swallow?"

What were you told by the surgeon? One thing should have been not to lift things over five lbs. Press a bed pillow firmly against your incisions to minimize the jolt of coughs, sneezes, laughs. Best wishes.

Why does it matter if your husband pooh-poohs what the nutritionist (I hope that's really an RD) told you? It's your attitude about low-fat and fat-free foods being "gross" that's your greater obstacle. When we want to do "A," it may require doing "B." It happens all the time. It's a choice and you are the one who has to make it. That he's your husband is second to your being your own grown-up. Fine, you yelled at your mother for being negative toward you. If she has no basis for saying what he said, ignore her from here on; don't discuss the subject with her. If there is some basis, think it over. There may be something you can learn. That she's your mother is second to your being your own grown-up. Losing weight, as most other things in life, is about choice and what we want for ourselves. Your comment, "...I know I have to listen to her..." is false. You don't "have" to do anything other than what you choose. Surgery is unlike being marched to the guillotine. It's an option for doing good for one's self. As long as you don't see it that way, you need to think it through some more. It would be nice if the people close to you were encouraging and knew when to keep their mouths shut, but you can't have everything. Getting through life in reasonable shape requires getting what we want or need where it's available. Lot's of people do therapy as one of the sources. It can go a long way toward sorting ourselves out if we do the work.

I understand every letter of your first note. Pay no attention to the things you've read. Your band is only weeks old with a rosy future as your partner. Your part of the partnership is the lion's share. Look in that direction and learn to read the band. You'll be so much happier than if you spend time worrying about something that hasn't happened. You're good.

You can buy one of each of a few brands and set up a taste test for yourself. What appeals to another person's tastebuds may make yours go on strike or vice versa.

@@MSer07, if you're the one doing the cooking, why aren't you the one deciding the menu? They can eat what you put on the table. At the same time, you have to come to terms with the fact that no one is going to stop doing as they wish to cater to you. Your weight loss is in your hands. As to not losing, look around the site. You'll find that a stall at three weeks after sleeve surgery is the norm. If surgery practices really aren't letting people know this in advance, they should be slapped.

That's one of the best NSVs, isn't it? Promise to report back when you get to the next ring stage: They need to be resized.

I'm not in the group you're looking for at the moment, but am sure you'll hear from some. I stopped in because you didn't mention sleeve as a possibility. If the surgeon didn't discuss it with you, you might want to bring it up just so you're clear on the options and which one would be better for you. If you've already gone over both procedures with him and done some of your own research....never mind. Here's wishing you the best.

If you've moved so far that making an appointment at your surgery practice isn't feasible, you'll do well to connect with one where you live now. If it's been more than a year since you last had an appt, it's time. You should have an [annual] esophagram and discuss what your band is doing presently and whether adjustments are the way to go. You'll also get the full rundown on how to eat and the rest of the routine. I don't understand why your band was emptied instead of loosened. Are you leaving something -- e.g., dilation -- out? P.S. I was doing wonderfully well in the 15 months following surgery and then I blew it. A couple of times along the way, I reapplied myself (saw my NP, surgeon and RD) and lost about 20 lbs. Then I regained those bits. In July I went in again with the idea that my band would be a lost cause. (Much earlier I had dilation twice, which meant significant loosening.) I was wrong and am so relieved that I can forget about revision surgery. Get the proper professional assistance now and see where you get. I get the feeling from your account that one or more parties weren't particularly thorough from the start. Don't give up. I'm exhausted. Good night.

@@81Kellogram, you'll be great. Trust me.

I'll take it! In between I remembered that I worked in a western wear store in Cheyenne eons ago, so that's gotta count, too. The owner loved that I wore non-Western clothes. That and my accent made me something of a tourist attraction in the store -- loads of tourists came in, as they stopped in Cheyenne during Frontier Days. Anyway, you'll be fine, a regular champ!