butterfly23

@@shelly.s from what I've read on here (and my own pre-surgery feelings) this panic is normal. While there are horror stories, there seem to be more success stories. For me, it was finally getting to the place that the risks of not having the surgery were greater than the risks of having it. What is your final line? While it is important to get support, only YOU know what is best for you, what the pros/cons of having surgery are. As long as you know these, you will be fine. If, however, you have just as many or more worries/cons then benefits, perhaps you should re-examine. Have you made a pro/con list? It really helped me. Best of luck!

@@Sergio_TX hope it went well, please post and let us know!

@@marissahealthiernewme it is great you are already planning about this! you got some good suggestions above (I made a list of things I can do, everything from painting nails to art to organizing etc). For me though, the most helpful process was figuring out what was behind the emotional eating and trying to heal the root cause in addition to coping skills now - that is been the most successful for me. All of us have different feelings that may trigger us to eat (mine are fear, shame, anger) and as many say on here, the surgery is physical but we need to do the surgery on our brains (re-train ourselves).

@@JUSTWANT2SMILE yay for you! Cannot wait until you post some pics, I can really relate to avoiding them or staying in the back, but not anymore.a Best of luck!

@@linseeka awesome work, enjoy your success!

@@cipullo congrats on your surgery! While hard, try and wait two more days. Your healthcare team's guidelines are there for your safety and the last thing you want is to end up back in hospital. I have found mixing up flavors can really help, for example there are a ton of herbal teas out there, I will make blueberry then add some lemon juice and ice it slushy style for crunch. I know, easy for me to say as I'm not where you are, but you can do this!

@@anewdayforme you have such a great outlook and perspective, you will do great! Glad to hear you are feeling well and it sounds like ready to go back to work on Monday. In my experience, when I got to solids the loss slows, plus you will probably hit the infamous 3-week stall, unfortunately. If you haven't read about it, search the BP site as it seems most of us have it, and no reason for concern. Best of luck! Today is my 1.5 year surgiversary and I still have much to go, but my unsolicited advice to you is trust the process, focus on the what you can control (what you do and think) and don't focus on the outcome. This isn't a race but a lifestyle.

@@Jesm1029 its great you posted about your struggle, it will help! Most of us take a step back while trying to move forward. Behavior change is rarely only progress forward without stumbles - but that is where we can learn so we stumble less. Overall, it sounds like you have been doing great, so focus on what has worked in the past to get back on track. Try not to be too hard on yourself for an unhealthy choice, yet figure out what it happened (access b/c your hubby wanted and got them, perhaps any stress or head hunger etc) so you can make plans to reduce the chance of it happening again. You have been doing this and will continue to, just adjust your strategy from what you learn from this experience.

@@JMill 72 I just saw your post and can really relate, especially to the part about feeling successful in most or all other aspects of life, but the inability to lose weight somehow invalidated all my other strengths, hence my anxiety that if WLS doesn't help, I'm an utter failure. Sounds like you already are trusting the process, which for me was so important to not focus on the goal and outcome (but to have them, yet focus on the process instead). Like you said, focus on what you can control. Since this is not a diet but a way of life, how we get there is more important as we need to do it for the rest of our lives, not just immediately before and after WLS. I say the serenity prayer many times a day just for that reason: God, grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change. The courage to change the things I can and the wisdom to know the difference. Your surgery will be here before you know it, best of luck but seems like you have a healthy perspective!

Going back to basics was really enlightening to me, and today on my 1.5 year surgiversary, I am grateful for BP and anyone who takes the time to read my post. I've lost 175 plus pounds and yet struggle every day with disappointment and shame with myself that it is not more because I allowed carbs to creep back in. Yet, this is not about the loss, it is about the gain of lifelong skills to be healthy and make healthy choices, not just in food/drink but in life. I had a very nice weight loss from this week, but more importantly re-connected with my mindfulness about what I put in my mouth. I am back to tracking, and my restriction feels increased, and my cravings are less. Other lessons learned: feeling guilt and shame about what I put in my mouth is not helpful, and often triggers unhealthy choices. (and the need to balance compassion with accountability) I used my weight as boundary and now with much less weight to protect me, my vulnerability can lead to fear which leads to cravings (and the need to develop non-weight boundaries) after periods of success, I seem to sabotage myself with both "oh you can handle this" or "its only a matter of time before you mess up, might as well do it now" which both leads to unhealthy choices (need to dive deeper here to figure out why - I feel like I do not deserve to succeed and use mindfulness to interrupt these moments) because of massive childhood trauma, it is very challenging for me to take care of myself, I get burned out and rebel by not using my skills purposefully (need to practice more self-compassion) Wow, this post got much longer than I meant. If you got to this point, thank you for reading. I have to admit, it is very humbling to try and be authentic and real here and share my story, especially with my shame (which is exactly why I am doing it). I also don't expect many will read to this point, my posts don't seem to garner much interest but they are cathartic for me. I appreciate those on this site committed to doing this work for themselves and others, please continue to post what helps you maintain change as it inspires me!

@@perspectiveiseverything great work and perspective! Have fun on your hike and enjoy the massage, you deserve it.

Fourth day today - went an extra day on liquids now moving to soft Protein. While I am not doing this to lose weight, I have lost 5 pounds just in these few days of liquids. I would recommend this reset to anyone who is struggling with food choices, its been a blessing. Why I am really doing this is to re-establish my health patterns I had during my first year, to be mindful of the cravings and head hunger and reasons why I have urges. It has really helped to be back in that place of all decisions made - low carb liquids only so I can focus on what I need to heal to move forward. I feel back in control, which is what I needed. I am so thankful for this site as a place to put my thoughts and experiences, thank you for taking the time to read.

@@Zoeygirl21 welcome and congrats on making your decision and commitment to changing your life! Make sure you talk with healthcare provider about the two and benefits/concerns for each one. For sleeve you are right, reflux can get worse (mine got better!) and it is not for grazers as you can easily eat around the sleeve. From the research I have seen, bypass loss is faster at first but 5 years out loss is similar in both. Many bypass folks have nutritional deficiencies due to malabsorption and may have dumping, although I've read many a sleever on BP who also dump. For some, dumping is reinforcement to eat well. Please take the time to really learn what will be best for you, good luck!

@@Butterflywarrior like you I started at higher weight and they recommended RNY but I am so glad I went with the sleeve. Love your name, btw. You sound up to the challenge! Use these next few weeks to prepare, but not overly so (taste can change after surgery, don't buy too much). Remember that the more you can focus on pre-op, the easier it is for your surgeon to move your liver and do good surgery etc. A good pre-op means easier surgery AND easier post-op. It is worth it, so give it your all. Plus, it is good practice for after when not sticking to the plan can have dire outcomes like infection. Best of luck, it will be here before you know it.

It is a good question to ask your medical team. When I did, I got a different answer from my surgeon than from my NUT. I drink caffeine daily (my drug of choice now that sugar is not) as do others on this board. Get the info and make an informed decision about what is right for you.