"with the band"

I feel like something is in the way of my ribs although you can feel my port at least an inch and a half away from my bottom rib. MY family doc today said that I possibly have a nerve that is being pressed by the port and the reaction is feeling this discomfort under my left rib cage. It feels like I can't lay on that side cause of the irritation to the rib and I can't sit for a long time without having to lean the other way and try to stretch up - it feels like it is on something. Did you feel like this with yours? Nancy

Oh my goodness....oh my goodness..... I just completed a hour long taped interview with a Hollywood Producer to be on a new show. If I get the part I will be leaving in a two weeks to go to Hollywood for 5 weeks. Can you believe this.....first the cruise job and now this......I am about to pass out. Pray for me to get it you guys - I really want this. Nancy

Thanks - Like I told DH - If it is meant to be than it will and all the prayers of you guys and my family and friends are just extra blessings. Thanks to all of you. Nancy

Your welcome Anne - You can find more on a thread I started the other day on the Lap Band Talk Lounge - nancy

I hope he is doing fine and I will stop right now and pray for him to recover completely. Take care - nancy

I have some other poems listed on a thread called - some of my poetry for you to check out - it is in the lap band talk lounge area. Thanks, Nancy

Thanks - I used to perform these (in fact I wrote them to perform) and the audience would always love them..... It took guts - but you guys know - that inside I still wished I wasn't fighting the fat fairy in the first place. You know how it is.....

I am off to attend our monthly lab band meeting and I was wondering if any of you also attend these type of meetings held by your Dr.'s offices. I love this group but let me tell you if it wasn't for this site - I don't know what I would do. I need much more than just a monthly meeting. Just wondering if any of you go to these meetings also? Nancy

great job - congrats on the loss and Celebrate your victory....... Good for you....Nancy

For the few of you who requested to see some of my poetry - here is a little sampling. This one is being published in a magaine called Pyramid Poetry in February- Recorded Errors All is not everything within the spiritual realm of things. No one though to decide the matter, fearing when the ashes scatter. All is all within one's mind, stumbling down the paths and winds. Questions fall through "pulled tight" blinds believing only the truths we find. No matter if that truth is shallow revelations of the cold and hollow. These answers leave recorded errors mixed within our sins and prayers. Holding onto human ways from which I've lived in my day. Ordering Banquets in my soul fighting off the wind and cold. Wanting all I love and share to surround me in life's rocking chair. To tap the gentle rythmned toe that dances in the moonlight glow. To hold the spirit deep inside of joy, of passions sparkling eyes. To taste of life, to always savor love and kindness, Nature's favor. To feel complete...as one who sees the faith and comfort... from my knees. With Me The Fat Fairie tricked me she told me she'd be My friend My family My love so sweet.... The Fat Fairie she left me with all of her lies... Wear black, Wear heels, Wear no stripes to the side. The Fat Fairie she's sly... She's living rent free. She built an addition... She's living with me. Don't Feel Sorry For Me Don't feel sorry for me. Don't look my way and think to yourself "She's so pretty...if only she could lose some weight". I know it's a touchy subject but I don't care. I am full of life and love to share. Maybe it's my private shield, usually people don't enter who are not for real. Sometimes it can give me the ede. I'm friends with some who might have been intimidated instead. I've been up and I've been down. It has been a merry-go-round. I've felt the sting of judging eyes. I've been embarrassed I have cried. But I've also found that I can be. All that matters all I need. I can star in passion's play, I am free... I'm not afraid. Filtered Remains Followed by sadness black in my day. Fearful of gladness hollowed by pain. Sweetness is savored viewed thru the rain. Somehow remembered filtered remains... Solitude teaches, preaches and cries. Left to ourselves without a disguise. Around me the shattered judgments that lie, know not of my shoes, 'nor of my life. And everything matters everything breaks. No wonder the trials we live make us brave. Silly hearts notion Dreams will survive. Little girls still make wishes at night. Blue... Blue is more than the general interpretations of blue. Blue is gentle words of knowing comfort zones of loving. Blue is hard and black as steel cold eyes and anger’s dangerous drive. Blue is deep a non-ending spirit of the soul. Blue is soft so vast in all it touches all it cares to behold. Blue is thoughts I have from me to you. Blue is building passions desire... unbridled truth. Blue is bruised when held within restraints of time and place. Blue is bluer when my heart whispers your name. Blue is here it fills my silent soul. Blue is screaming (the deepest blue) of mortal dreams. Blue is erotica oceans and skies of desire blue...is enveloping blue is blue. Where the world will never find me... You touch me without being near. You hold me captive take me where my heart is shaking from the fear of holding you.... of not... I couldn’t bear...the thought. I want you. I know I am not supposed to reach for that outside my boundaries I have never listened very well... my heart seems captivated by your spell of enticement and desire temptation so strong it consumes before the day...one day. When my heart lies with yours and we discover all the wonder in our minds all the passion in our souls as one... uncovered. I want to give to you. I want to hold you in these arms that feel you there.... and offer all I’m feeling all I care... to show - to bring to your heart today. I touch you in my mind I want to feel you touch me... take me where the world will never find me ......happy. I feel you near - it binds my heart and soul in desire I can’t control. I need you one day... These Secrets In My Soul... I want to go to a deserted tropical paradise I want to bask in the breeze where the sun kisses my skin Caressing my heart and I know... I want to lay in your arms as the sun sets on love to explore passion and freedom and more... I want to lay in your arms. I want to shut from our day all the world. We are but one - two souls... gravitating against all the rules. Love does not mean to be cruel robbing the heart of one’s jewels. Love trips you up and then catches you when you fall. Love is all. I want to discover the warmth of your soul. Where fantastic riches of the soul begs my being to behold... You...to feel the warmth of your touch. These dreams are not enough. I want to ravage and be ravaged in all this passion scene encompassing holding me endlessly in desire. I want to know I need to share these secrets in my soul... my heart my desire my love reaching out for you to know. Hope Without Warning Closing doors peaking round corners trying to escape yesterday. Sealing shut...emotions left to their own devices prone to guilty mis-interruptions distorted from the everyday ho-hum, boring reality. Storing away years of trial, rivers of tears swallowed down with pride, choked on by the pain overflowing inside, taunting my soul's heart. And I can't stop... what has been there's no re-write to pen no time left to mend. No Love in my hands to share. Just this glimpse of the morning hope without warning. A chance that we'll somehow survive. I Believe... God in his infinite wisdom put me here. How can I refrain? Life works - yes in such mysterious ways. Life’s struggle has built my very soul. Trials and heartaches can make one... so very old. And sometimes very cold. I should know... I’ve felt the sting it lives in me... an unwelcome menace to my soul no warmth...no glow just what I know. God holds my hand through forests thick with rain. He heals my pain and sends me back to try again. This sad refrain that bears my name this solemn shame this sordid game of heart... and soul. All I know. God lift me high to feel the light of love this burdened soul this wounded bird has had enough... just a little love just a little love my eyes of tears focus through the rain my heart of years struggles with the pain. I know your name... it’s not the same I'm Going To... You break me in and take me out of my mind. You hold your breath then tell me I’m the one who’s out of line. I draw the line.... never - no more I see the door in my sight. And I know that this, this - just ain’t right... this bitter fight of love. You shake me, hate me fill me deep into my soul this angry cold let’s me go - alone regardless of my intent you look right past the tender kiss the sweetened love we shared - we knew. You forget in moments of pain and rage. You lose track of just who you are talking to it’s me... the one who loved you suffered to be near it’s me... the one who needs you who wishes you could hear. My heart beat my heart bleed in love with you. Can’t you stop can’t you feel.... I’m going to. In All I am thankful to be sensitive to the callousness of the world.... Otherwise I would just be part of it. Turning cold on feelings, growing old feeling... superior instead of accepting the innate Equality in life, the beauty in all offerings of the world. No Moment In Time Laughter fills my heart when I share it with you. Those precious moments of companionship joy and love, hope and passion fill me with happiness laughter with my friend, my best friend. Love fills my soul holds me in it's wondrous spirit healing...holding together the dreams we both share. Smiling and knowing acknowledging the moments that are ours... the living...realizing. How lucky we have been to know... To touch daily that zone of comfort those arms of love... that reach out and know that nothing could ever be so right. For me...for you We're lucky - so lucky to have this time. I love you so much no moment in time, could fill me with joy without you by my side. Played Destiny To feel the savored closeness of every moment... knowledge of our love. A tiny basket finely weaved in fate. Overflowing with a lifetime of joy. To touch you in the starlight to feel your presence in a rush. Spellbound in passion taken by your touch. Held by your loving arms... where I am me. I am completed I am softly sweet. To love you always, My deepest prayer will be. thru life's hard journey... you are the memories. You are the seed, for all of my tomorrows... To be whole to be complete. In your heart I feel the power, that our souls... Played Destiny. Our Hopes Unfold When all around this day evolves into seconds that are gained or lost. When every drop of rain depletes, another hope, another dream. If all else fails I’ll walk your way. and together we can humbly pray. For all is just a lump of clay. we break, we mold, we chip away. All is in our hearts and souls. too much to hold and just let go. We can build our dreams within... and shadows of the world begin. To face, to falter in the night. when we release the faith, that keeps the light. We unleash the power of the soul. and fighting through the wind and cold. Our dreams become reality. our hopes unfold and set us free. Remnants I want to forget the fitful embers of love remnants of all you were to my taken soul. I need to burn from my mind, all these memories; every instinct I know. That lingers through the air that I breathe, as I feel the loss of you so. I feel the cavern, the tear that you leave. I know all is the way it must go. I know so much more that you show or you leave. You’re not everything you’re just everything…I once believed. I can’t begin to go on, I can’t but I do. you push me and inside… in secret…I bleed. All my heart begs to go, all my love, all I know…all I need. I feel you near where my heart holds you dear. I hold you close I let you go… or you leave. You’re not in my dreams you’re just the reason I can’t sleep. So Long The Moments Miles may seperate but distance means nothing to love. Hours have passed to days and months and now years have joined the race. I still need you so... These feelings never go from me. All this distance fuels the fire and fighting through this blind desire... I am strangled, I am bitten, I am certainly... not complete. It seems as if life's cruel game has left its mark of pain and I can't take this anywhere to make it right again. I search the map to find you where and I feel the void...I miss you here. So long the moments of my soul this heart turned red now fights the cold. My love, my dream...my fantasy reaches in darkness to your love so sweet. My eyes wide open wincing truth, this hope...this passion burning through. I hope you guys enjoy these..... any questions regarding my work - you can contact me at visualpoetryart@aol.com nancy jean

Bump for kim....

you look good and the confidence you exude is priceless. Keep up the good work and let us know when you feel weak so that we can bolster up your spirits. Take care Lisa - you are truly beautiful - inside and OUT!!! Nancy

great victory on the jean sizes.....what a change. Good for you on the job and all too. Nancy

No problem - I wanted to come meet you anyways and I will be there in LA also on April 8th.....at the Sheraton at the LA Airport for 1 afternoon and night before DH and I go on our cruise to Hawaii. I am so excited - I will know within a week if I am chosen and tomorrow around 4:00 the producers should be viewing my interview tape and we'll see what happens after that. I actually slept last night - miracle. nancy

no - hardly - i have just been in such a whirlwind of stuff happenning that I haven't had time to come back and post. All I know is that I did an interview on video for Hollywood Producers from ABC to be on a show that they are doing. If I get it I will know in less than a week. If I don't get it there is still a great chance they will pick up the show proposal I sent to them and I may then be appearing in that show - I just don't know what yet but as soon as I get the word - I will let you all have the word. Last night was the first time I slept right in over a week..... This has been a very good year. And I would never forget my LBT family - I wouldn't be OK without all of your help over the past 7 months. I will write back more - I have to run to the Post Office to mail some stuff off to these producers. God - I truly can't believe all of this. Nancy

There is a new reality show you can sign up for called "You are what you eat" on ABC. You can go there to download the application. It sounds really good..... Hey Penni - this might be for you.... Nancy

like Lisa said (DeLarla) - I don't know how I would have survived without the comfort of my LBT family being right there at any time night or day to help me with the thousand questions, fears, and thoughts I have had since starting this journey with the band. Stick around and count yourself among the lucky to have found such great support. Nancy

great news - i am currently in a 19 size jean - and hoping to be in my 18's soon. Keep on doing good. Nancy

Well - what I know it to be is a dice game that is called Left Center Right. It is played with a group of people - takes little paying attention - and you can win after you have been losing all night in a hot minute. It is fun - easy - and great for passing time in a non-thinking type of activity for everyone. Nancy

Penni - how goes your decision?

did your doc suggest getting it removed to combat these problems. Or is this just something you decided in frustration. Please let us know how you do and know that we wish you well and that you find resolution to your distress. Take care - nancy

so happy for you. So glad for you. Thank goodness you are back on the road to your success. Take care - nancy

yep - my family loves it.

You will be great. Everyone can tell you they were afraid. Cause we wouldn't be human if we weren't. And the fears we felt were on many many levels. Please feel peace and know that your instincts are your best resource. And your instincts led you to this journey for a reason. Take care - nancy

You will be great. Everyone can tell you they were afraid. Cause we wouldn't be human if we weren't. And the fears we felt were on many many levels. Please feel peace and know that your instincts are your best resource. And your instincts led you to this journey for a reason. Take care - nancy