MichelleB

7 days - 1 surgery, 1 yeast infection (from antibiotics), 1 urinary tract infection, 1 bout with plurasy? (trouble expanding lungs). I say all that so you know it could be a lot worse. Even with my issues and the overwhelming grief I felt saying goodbye to my best friends (food). I know that you and I both did the right thing and this too shall pass. Keep hope alive. Jesus Cares.

I started this journal today as I read others on this site. I'm amazed at how different the surgery is performed and how informed the people are about it. So many people have discussed differences in diets, differences in bands and fills. It makes me wonder if I did enough before hand to really understand what was going to happen to me. Well, that doesn't matter now, I'm in for the win! I was banded on 11/28/07. I'd love to say that's my new birthday but I can't. I will say that it is a new beginning. Were does it start? 3rd grade, 5th grade, 28 years ago.....is the first time I remember being fat. It's time for this to end. This is it! Why I had the band..... 1. I want energy....Tired of being tired..... 2. I want to play with my kids, on the floor and outside 3. I want to play with my husband and not fear him squeezing a fat roll 4. I want to buy clothes and like the way I look in them 5. I want to be a good example for my children and family 6. I want to put on pantyhose and not be disguisted 7. I want to not have to look at a chair and wonder if it will hold me 8. I want to not wonder if I'm the biggest person in the room 9. I want to slide into a car and not plop down 10. I want to jog 11. I want to buy sexy underwear 12. I want to go down to my basement without thinking about the exertion it takes to come back up. 13. I want to know that I'm fat and not lazy.......for sure. 14. I want someone to look twice as they pass me or even get hit on! even though I would never accept........just the thrill. 15. I want to go to any store and shop. 16. I want to BE HEALTHY....no prescriptions. 17. I want to DANCE like no one is watching. I'm 1 week post-op and have definitely felt better. In one week, I had surgery, a yeast infection (from antibiotics), a urinary tract infection and am having trouble expending all my lung capacity (not serious). But I feel better than I did a week ago. I'm ALERT for one. I have some energy. WOW! I never new how much time and energy I let food steal from me. Speaking of food---this is horrible. I still have a 75% desire for something to chew. This liquid diet is killing me. I'm stronger than I thought but each day its a fight to not break down. I had a bowel movement on Monday but not Tuesday. I'm praying for one today. That's a sure sign that things are getting better in my mind. I protective of my stomack so I'm walking slumped over a little. My children notice and I think are somewhat worried but I think I'm putting up a pretty good front. I look forward to exercising. I think Saturday is the first day I'll try (10 days post op) Oh, how could I forget my home scale says 288.5. If that's true, it means I've lost about 14 pounds in two weeks. I LOVE IT.

Well as I see it yesterday was the beginning of my 2nd life. I've struggled all my life with weight. Until about 25, I was just big-boned and then I didn't hear that anymore and knew I was just plain fat. I have an awesome husband, 2 great kids and a super career. I believe that the time was right for me to have the band. At 36, I want to enjoy my life. I just couldn't do it on my own and sadly enough I think I was becoming depressed. I was going about life as normal but lots of the time their was this cloud over my head. With yesterday's surgery, I felt for the first time since I was in 5th grade I was on my way to being healthy and maybe even shapely:). Day 2 has been a little rougher than I expected however. Even though they said I wouldn't be hungry, I think I am. But who knows because being hungry was a feeling I never let myself feel before. My greatest fear is how to get over my addiction to food. I never knew I how much I ate until I can't eat anymore. It's amazing how much I snacked whenever I wanted and for whatever reason. Anybody else out there know what I mean about the food addiction?

I am in mourning. My best friend for 20 years has gone and I can't get it back---food. I am so grateful to find this discussion. I've literally shared some tears today thinking of what I was going to do with my time. What is going to get me through the good times and bad times, the boring times and the celebrations. Food has always been there for me. I feel like I never got a chance to say goodbye. This is how I know I'm an addict.