gal friday

Please, please don't leave. There are so many people here who support you. There are also people going through the exact same thing as you, reading your posts, feeling that somebody else gets it, that they are not alone. And you aren't alone! I am coming up on 4 months post-op, and just last night I got frustrated and felt the same way you do. I have lost so much weight, my diabetes has completely disappeared, I have come off of some of the zillion meds I take for my many chronic health conditions, but when I got my first case of dumping syndrome, after having 3 tablespoons of ice cream (it's my birthday, I wanted to Celebrate a little!) I just got so frustrated. I can't even celebrate my birthday like a normal person! My frustration passed, but it was definitely there. You're not alone!

It has nothing to do with weakness. Depression is a physiological phenomenon, a biochemical mechanism that can be stirred up by huge life change and/or major trauma. It doesn't make sense, it's not always rational, and that's because ration is not a feature of the brain structures that control emotion. They operate independently of our rational mind. When someone's mind is already off kilter due to major life changes and maladaptive biochemical processes, something a simple as a post on a website really can be a kick in the teeth. That's because the mind is already reeling from these changes. It can take time for a person to get sorted out, to mentally get back on their feet to the point that they can just dismiss ridiculous comments on the web. We're all human, and so we are all vulnerable, we can all be stressed when someone, even a stranger on the internet, pushes on our weak spots or kicks us when we are down. Frankly, in this day and age, with the widespread knowledge of depression and its causes, I'm shocked that you don't know all of this. I used to be a therapist, and most of my patients had at least some basic knowledge like this before they even sought out care. I hope your post doesn't scare off people who are, however temporarily, in a dark place, and are sensitive to comments, on the internet or otherwise. It is absolutely normal to feel the way they do and experience sensitivity to the opinions of others. I mean, the opinions of others are exactly why we are all here!

It may not be true for *you*, but it was true for *me*. I had BC/BS PPO, and they were very clear about what they would and would not pay for. I had my lap band done in Mexico, and they paid for NO FOLLOWUP CARE of ANY KIND. I checked with them again before my sleeve conversion, and they told me the same would be true this time around. I'm with Aetna right now.

I was a therapist before kids and disability happened, and man, casual diagnoses fly through my brain when I watch her. I cannot for the life of me explain how she passed any psych screening, it is glaringly obvious from the get go that she is not psychologically appropriate as a candidate for any bariatric surgery. She is literally the perfect example of someone who is not suitable for bariatric surgery. She has serious issues she needs to work through for bariatric surgery to work, it is almost unfair to her that she got the surgery because she had 0% chance for success (and the band was the best choice for failing, although if she had the sleeve or bypass she probably would have eaten herself to the point of rupture). She has a very strong narcissistic streak, and I hate to say this, that is something some people never overcome. Her husband is a codependent enabler. If she wants dumplings so badly, then she should haul her ass out of bed and get them. I'm desperate for coke slurpees from time to time, and god bless my husband, he would never ever go get one for me. That's how a marriage works! If I want to do something self-destructive, he's not going to help me do it!

No rebuttal here! My nutritionist made it clear that depriving yourself completely and totally was a fast ticket to falling off the wagon. I have come up with what are known as 'lifehacks' so that I can sometimes make poor food choices without doing real damage. There are a lot of people here who have completely overhauled their eating, and some are critical of those who do not do the same, but there are many paths to the same goal. I am lucky not to have ever suffered from food addiction (yes, obese people without food addiction do exist), and my weight problem was caused less by unhealthy food than by MASSIVE quantities of healthy food. The sleeve is ideal for me. But I have done the complete-food-overhaul-lifestyle-change thing many times before, losing plenty of weight, and it never, ever stuck. I am doing much better this time around because I eat like a 'normal' person - just way less. As for the 4 week depression, OP, I totally hear you. I remember the early days, looking down at my plate of four chunks of chicken and three baby carrots thinking 'what have I done?' Despite all of the weight I was losing, there were definitely moments of deep regret. And unlike what another poster has said, just because you can't go back and undo it doesn't mean you can't or won't feel regret - emotional responses occur regardless of whether or not they make logical sense in real life. I think that those few posters who are bashing you may not understand this. The amygdala - the part of our brain that is the master control for emotion - lives in its own world, a world where logic and common sense don't apply. Human emotions are irrational and illogical, and that is one of the fundamental, defining features of being human, unlike, say, an alligator. I agree with the poster who said that surgeons should provide - should require - a post op psych session or two. As a former psychological clinician myself, it was pretty common for me to see patients because they were having short term trouble adjusting to major changes in their lives, and if losing 2/3 of your stomach isn't a major life change, I don't know what is. I'm lucky - I was already in therapy for something else, so I just took one or two sessions and used them to cope with the huge change my sleeve presented. But if you aren't already in therapy, you don't have that life preserver right in front of you, so you may have to go looking for it (which is hard to do when you are already depressed). You already started when you posted here. Please, don't let the viciousness of that one poster deter you - your experiences are TOTALLY NORMAL, and they are also transitory. It won't always feel like this, even if you don't get counseling. It does get better. And we're all here to help you. Message me anytime you want to talk!

Yeah, 37 points (my old point level) is definitely more than I need, but I am wondering if just keeping track of what I eat based on the point values will help me make better decisions, even if I am consistently under the 'points'. I do it online - no meetings - and fortunately insurance covered my surgery, but we are a one income family so I want to make sure the $$ is worth it. They should really create a system for bariatric patients.

I have a disorder (diabetes insipidus) that puts me at significantly more risk for death due to electrolyte imbalance and/or dehydration than your average person (it is quite rare). I didn't know I had the disorder until I had the surgery (the post recovery fluid intake restrictions brought it to light, I was diagnosed 18 hours after the surgery) and I'm still glad I did it. I had a lap-band that did nothing for me - NOTHING. I decided to go for the revision, but deep in my heart I feared that it would be the same thing with the sleeve, up through and right after the surgery. But it wasn't the crap shoot the lap band was. Despite how work it was to manage the kidney disorder in the first few weeks, it turned out to be the right call. The initial paranoia about protein intake and fluid intake is no longer - listening to my body and adding a few vitamins to my routine provides all of the nutritional content I need. Other than being a little low on iron, I really don't have to think about it much. I lost a lot of weight quickly, but then I leveled out to a few pounds per week, and now at almost 4 months I'm about halfway to my goal weight. I had a very, very rough time of it after my surgery, but I got through it, and all the hard work was worth it. I would do it again in a heartbeat. Don't let the band discourage you - the sleeve actually works!

I would avoid self-pay if you can, because if something happens and you need extra care, all of that is then self-pay too. I went through about a year long wait, but it was worth it, because I had a complication that added 8 days and $25,000 to my stay - and then a week later I was back in the hospital for a 3 day, $9,000 kidney infection brought on by the complication. I didn't budget for that. In fact, my hospital discourages self pay for that very reason. If the insurance just refuses to pay for your procedure, then self-pay is worth the risk, but if it is just a matter of not wanting to wait, I would NOT go self-pay Paying for the procedure and then all of the extensive, expensive post complication care would have bankrupted me. Waiting for insurance approval took the better part of a year, but it saved me more than $30,000 in inpatient care alone.

I learned that when my body gets less than 900 calories, I stop losing weight, and that did happen to me early in my recovery. This is a horrible thing to tell someone who is depressed. Just go feel better! Because it's that easy!

I have never had dumping, according to my surgeon that can only happen in bypasses. However, I have had 'one too many bites' misery before. That feels pretty lousy and apparently pretty similar..

Yes. I was not permitted to lift anything over 15lbs in the first few weeks after surgery. This was fine with my son - he is almost 5 and doesn't *need* much lifting (though he still wanted it) but I have a 27 pound pug who is really old and arthritic and needed lifting sometimes. I lifted her occasionally, when absolutely necessary, and I managed not to hurt myself. I would ask your surgeon about lifting restrictions.

My husband was 100% supportive but was also pretty sure it wouldn't work because my band had failed. He was good about keeping his opinion to himself most of the time. I found that brining him to a pre-op appointment where he could ask my NP and surgeon a lot of questions really helped him get comfortable with me having the surgery. But the time I actually had the surgery, he was more convinced that it was a good idea. But that is marriage for you - you don't always have to agree with each other, as long as you are supportive nonetheless.

My father was actually the first person to suggest it. We both had had bands, and naturally, being a woman, mine failed. After years of not losing weight, my dad came to me and said he'd heard about other people like me, and that they'd switched to the sleeve and done well. Because of my dad's lifelong struggle with his weight and his success with the band, everyone in my family was supportive, as were most of my in-laws. My father in law on the other hand . . . he thought I would be a failure. And he made that clear many, many times. He's not a bad guy, just tactless. I finally snapped and said that undermining me was really freaking counterproductive, and that he could keep his opinion to himself - it's not like he hadn't already grilled me on how the sleeve worked and how I could (would) ruin it all a dozen times already. I told him to put a sock in it, and to his credit, he did. Losing 30 pounds in 3 months certainly shut him the hell up!

Yes, that is normal. I can eat fish and chicken just fine if they are very moist, but at over 4 months out, I still have not tried steak, just ground beef. We eat a lot of ground meats now that I have had the surgery.

I can have sips of my husband's sodas, and from time to time I have my own soda, but we no longer keep sodas in the house and I am no longer a regular soda drinker. I don't want to undo the surgery with carbonation.

I lost 33 pounds in 3 months, but I've been in a stall for 2 weeks. I am re-evaluating my diet and looking at ways to get more active. Any other advice on how to jump start my metabolism and get out of a stall? I only have 27 pounds to go, but I would like to start losing again, even if it's slowly.

I can't fast, if I drop below 900 calories a day I stop losing weight (my body thinks it's starving and holds onto weight, this is a real thing, my doctor and nutritionist both see it sometimes in patients). I can certainly cut calories (which I already started doing), but I'll have to think of another way to 'shock' my system. But it really, really helps to hear that I am not alone, and that other people were able to get out of stalls.

My surgeon warned of a number of things that can stretch your stomach out. @@kimpossible67 - it's the fizz I miss. I even miss seltzter Water.

I was told that routine carbonation consumption can stretch your stomach out back to its original size. My surgeon was very, very serious about the consumption of carbonation in any form.

God help me, it has been hard giving up carbonated beverages. I can commiserate with you!

I've been put under more times than I can count, and it's always the same - a really solid nap.

I can't believe we're all still talking about this. The OP updated us with a resolution!

You can always try using this: http://smile.amazon.com/Meal-Measure-Portion-Control-Tool/dp/B004Z0SDXC/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&qid=1425648689&sr=8-1&keywords=bariatric+plate at each meal. I don't use it myself, but I came across it while shopping for bariatric Vitamins and supplements on Amazon.

You may be able to tolerate Stevia and Monk Fruit extract. Both are natural sweeteners, derived from plant sources. I use Monk Fruit, made from the Asian lo han fruit (I think stevia has an after taste, but everyone I know loves it). You can use it in cooking and baking (it doesn't change the delicate chemical reactions that are at the heart of cooking and especially baking), it comes in big bags, single serve packets, and even little squeeze bottles of liquid that you can keep in your purse. It's pricier than other artificial sweeteners, but I think it's worth it.

Nope! It's what is called RTD, which stands for 'ready to drink'. It caters perfectly to my lazy side! They do sell protein powders to make shakes out of, but I stick with the RTD clear proteins for the texture (the lack thereof).