Nicole Chavez

Try to get another psych to approve you. I'm sorry for your frustration!! I'd be so angry too!

Lol yep that before really was me! Yikes! Lol

Thank you! I was busting out of a size 24, now I'm a loose 14!

Loving the new me ????????????????????

Thank you all!

Thank you. Yes, it was very personal. Lucky me I don't know anyone on here lol. I didn't mean for it to come off as sad, or something to be sympathized with or to be given condolences. Just my story. I appreciate your congratulations to me!

For me, I learned a lot of faulty beliefs about food as a child. My Dad, who had schizophrenia, was never very loving (actually extremely abusive) but on occasion, when he felt especially happy, he'd share his joy, and love with us buy buying junk food. I remember him carrying me on my shoulders at around 4 years old down to the corner store and bought me those little chocolates wrapped in foil in the shape if a football! That's a special memory for my because I've had very few experiences of feeling loved by him. (Food = love) I was the oldest of 9 children. I had a lot of responsibility and stress growing up seeing as my dad was unreliable mentally and our mom was a raging alcoholic with a mood and anxiety disorder. I felt very comforted with food. I liken it to a drug. I could eat so much pizza that it would get me high. I would feel relaxed and happy afterwards. (Food=escape) I was never called fat in kindergarten, but that changed in 1st grade. It was so humiliating. I was ostracized from my classmates and I hardly ever had friends through out school. Thats when I knew I was fat. My mom said I wasn't and that it was baby fat and I'd grow out of it. I didn't. I got bigger and bigger. I went through a little phase where I tried not eating. I wasn't very good at that. (Food=companion) So this little fat girl grew up to be a fat teen with very low self esteem. The first boyfriends I had at that time were real scumbags and of course that's all I thought I deserved, subconsciously anyways. They were into the drug scene and I made some pretty poor choices back then, experimented with drugs, sex, and alcohol. During this time I lost weight. I remember fitting into a size 16 and I felt like I was getting skinny. Food wasn't an issue for me at that time. Male attention was my drug of choice. It sure felt good to feel wanted and be given compliments and to have that void in me, that deep dark hole of just desiring to belong and feel significant temporarily filled by the strange men. By the grace if God, I was able to pull my self out of that. But at 15 and having had many many horrible experiences, I developed depression. And there was my good ol' frenemy FOOD. (Food=antidepressant) I got my first job at Taco Bell. I was 16. I ate whatever I wanted. I was up to 230lbs and 5'3". There were times I tried to diet and exercise, just never worked out. I met my husband there. He liked me because I was big. He was into that. I never felt pressured to lose weight and he treated me to anything I wanted. (Food= love) He didn't do it to hurt me, he saw feeding me as making me happy which it would do. For years though, I'd cry to him. "I'm so fat, my knees hurt, my back hurts, I can't climb stairs, I broke your moms chair, I hate my self, that's why I can't get pregnant, I'm too fat, I can't lose weight, I need help, promise to help me?, don't let me eat too much.... And on and on. He'd try. He would really try to help. The addiction was too powerful. I decided I need to do something about it. I started researching fertility treatments and they assured me if I were to lose weight I'd greatly increase my chance to get pregnant. I researched the lap band back then, before anyone really heard of the sleeve. I decided that that's what I wanted. I had to lose 30lbs to get the surgery and I put my butt to work! I wanted a baby! I was infertile for 5 years and once I lost those 30lbs I got pregnant. I was around 250-260lbs then. I said well to heck with getting the lap band now! At the end of my pregnancy with my son I was a whopping 310 lbs. (Food= I can eat more when I have an excuse...I'm feeding two!) Some of the weight came off and I was pregnant with my daughter at 276lbs. I was 300lbs at the end of that pregnancy. I was the fat mom. The lazy mom. I was the fat wife that just found out after (at that time) the whole 9 years I had been with my husband he had been cheating on me with another woman!!! I was not going to be fat anymore!!! I pursued wls and had my sleeve on 2/13/13. I am down 116lbs. Currently weighing in at 185lbs at 6 months post op. I have had the most bumping road I could have imagined for my self. I have had several breaking-up and getting-back-together episodes. I had an extremely slutty stage too where I was reverting back to what filled my void as a teen since food wasn't an option anymore. I cheated on my husband with random men. I was a mess. As for right now, I'm doing good. I'm happy with my husband and have not been promiscuous. Doing pretty good eating wise and working on becoming a better me. I'm learning to love myself in a way that heals my void so that I wont rely on an external substitute. I am learning to be really nice to me. Now if I can only quit smoking! Lol, but really I need to.

I've been waiting to hit onederland so I could post my scale pic! haha, well I did it! I'm so thrilled it is unbelievable! I seriously can't remember when I weighed this much, it's been at least 11 years! I beat my surgeons goal of weighing under 200lbs by 6 months post op! Im 5 and a half months post op! My highest weight:302 on January 11th of this year!! Pre-op weight was 296 on February 4th, and day of surgery (Feb 13th) I was 285lbs. I'm doing it friends and with all this losing comes a lot of gaining. I've gained a whole lot of positive self esteem and confidence. It hasn't been all sunshine and rainbows though, I've really begun to dig into the deeper parts of me and have done some self discovery. Still a work in progress and I'm happy to say I always will be. I'm content with where I'm at and I'm excited with where I'm going. Both in the physical and psychological sense. I'm a new me! Yay for me, I love me, I am awesome!

And feeling sexy VSG Date: 2/13/13 SW:285lbs HW:302 5'3 current weight as of 4/16/13: 239 5/15/13: 231yay me

I've had a major increase of sex drive myself! Loving every minute of it! VSG Date: 2/13/13 SW:285lbs HW:302 5'3 current weight as of 4/16/13: 239!!! yay me

Try watching porn, always gets me going VSG Date: 2/13/13 SW:285lbs HW:302 5'3 current weight as of 4/16/13: 239!!! yay me