Eli Alexander

Hi everyone. I'm Eli and in two weeks I am going in for the gastric sleeve surgery and I'm a bit anxious, excited, nervous, hopeful, dubious and ready for the life changes ahead. I'm 40 and I've been overweight since the age of ten. Of course back then it was an extra 10lbs, an extra 30lbs in high school, 60lbs in college and since then I've worked myself up to 308lbs, or about 130+ lbs overweight. I'm trying to work on myself from all angles to become a better me. Two years ago I quit smoking, I started cycling and exercising on a regular basis. I just applied to go back to school and get a degree in enology (wine sciences) to start a new career that I actually want to do on a daily basis. And of course, one of the biggest changes, I'm getting the surgery and setting my sights on losing 109lbs to get under the 200lbs mark. So far, leading up to the surgery I've lost 22lbs via caloric restriction. Being overweight has been a tremendous burden on me not only physically, but mentally. I stopped dating a decade ago and resigned myself to a life of loneliness because I just couldn't comprehend that anyone could find me attractive. Perhaps the biggest thing I hope to get from the upcoming weight loss is a renewed sense of self pride. To be able to look at myself and think I'm a catch. To gain self confidence that comes with the hard work and time consuming nature of self improvement. So that's it. I Live in Portland Oregon and love it here. I'm looking forward to backpacking trips and long bike rids, to kayaking and just becoming a busier more life-loving version of myself.

Im not the best person here to give advise on this subject, as I'm neither female or married, but I really suggest you turn to some of the women here who have been through similar situations. They really may be able to help you gain a perspective you've been overlooking which could help you bring your husband on board. I know that some men might feel threatened, like you improving yourself is the first step towards leaving them behind, or perhaps he thinks he's being supportive because there has been a communication breakdown. There are many reasons, and luckily there is a wonderful group of women here who might just be able to help you improve this situation. My suggestion, start a new thread titled " how can I get more support from family" and then explain the situation. It might not help, but it certainly won't hurt. Good luck.

I'm pre op for another 10 days. There are many reasons, but the last straw was a flight to visit my sister. The plane was about 2/3 full when I walked down the isle all the way to the back where my seat was. Every eye looked at me in horror that I'd sit next to them. As I passed one guy I heard him say "whoow, that was close" I'm not even sure he was talking about me, but in my mind I felt so ashamed to sit next to anyone and ruin their flight. When I finally got to my seat I had to sit next to a large framed (not fat) Marine. He was nice but I apologized for the inconvenience. Luckily the flight attendant found me a seat in back, next to the toilets where I had nobody sitting next to me. On the return light I lucked out and sat next to the tiniest woman on the plane. Next year for my visit I hope to be much lighter and feel more at ease.

I'm pre op for another 10 days. There are many reasons, but the last straw was a flight to visit my sister. The plane was about 2/3 full when I walked down the isle all the way to the back where my seat was. Every eye looked at me in horror that I'd sit next to them. As I passed one guy I heard him say "whoow, that was close" I'm not even sure he was talking about me, but in my mind I felt so ashamed to sit next to anyone and ruin their flight. When I finally got to my seat I had to sit next to a large framed (not fat) Marine. He was nice but I apologized for the inconvenience. Luckily the flight attendant found me a seat in back, next to the toilets where I had nobody sitting next to me. On the return light I lucked out and sat next to the tiniest woman on the plane. Next year for my visit I hope to be much lighter and feel more at ease.

I'm pre op for another 10 days. There are many reasons, but the last straw was a flight to visit my sister. The plane was about 2/3 full when I walked down the isle all the way to the back where my seat was. Every eye looked at me in horror that I'd sit next to them. As I passed one guy I heard him say "whoow, that was close" I'm not even sure he was talking about me, but in my mind I felt so ashamed to sit next to anyone and ruin their flight. When I finally got to my seat I had to sit next to a large framed (not fat) Marine. He was nice but I apologized for the inconvenience. Luckily the flight attendant found me a seat in back, next to the toilets where I had nobody sitting next to me. On the return light I lucked out and sat next to the tiniest woman on the plane. Next year for my visit I hope to be much lighter and feel more at ease.

I'm pre op for another 10 days. There are many reasons, but the last straw was a flight to visit my sister. The plane was about 2/3 full when I walked down the isle all the way to the back where my seat was. Every eye looked at me in horror that I'd sit next to them. As I passed one guy I heard him say "whoow, that was close" I'm not even sure he was talking about me, but in my mind I felt so ashamed to sit next to anyone and ruin their flight. When I finally got to my seat I had to sit next to a large framed (not fat) Marine. He was nice but I apologized for the inconvenience. Luckily the flight attendant found me a seat in back, next to the toilets where I had nobody sitting next to me. On the return light I lucked out and sat next to the tiniest woman on the plane. Next year for my visit I hope to be much lighter and feel more at ease.

I'm pre op for another 10 days. There are many reasons, but the last straw was a flight to visit my sister. The plane was about 2/3 full when I walked down the isle all the way to the back where my seat was. Every eye looked at me in horror that I'd sit next to them. As I passed one guy I heard him say "whoow, that was close" I'm not even sure he was talking about me, but in my mind I felt so ashamed to sit next to anyone and ruin their flight. When I finally got to my seat I had to sit next to a large framed (not fat) Marine. He was nice but I apologized for the inconvenience. Luckily the flight attendant found me a seat in back, next to the toilets where I had nobody sitting next to me. On the return light I lucked out and sat next to the tiniest woman on the plane. Next year for my visit I hope to be much lighter and feel more at ease.

I'm pre op for another 10 days. There are many reasons, but the last straw was a flight to visit my sister. The plane was about 2/3 full when I walked down the isle all the way to the back where my seat was. Every eye looked at me in horror that I'd sit next to them. As I passed one guy I heard him say "whoow, that was close" I'm not even sure he was talking about me, but in my mind I felt so ashamed to sit next to anyone and ruin their flight. When I finally got to my seat I had to sit next to a large framed (not fat) Marine. He was nice but I apologized for the inconvenience. Luckily the flight attendant found me a seat in back, next to the toilets where I had nobody sitting next to me. On the return light I lucked out and sat next to the tiniest woman on the plane. Next year for my visit I hope to be much lighter and feel more at ease.

A doctor (not my doctor) told me to make sure ahead of time to tell my physician that I get bad rashes on my skin. This makes it easier for the doctor to show a history of skin problems and can be used to get many insurance companies to pay for skin removal. Next time you see your doc, talk with them about every rash and irritation you've ever had, and you can tell them to make sure those concerns are in your permanent chart. I don't know if this works all the time, but it's what I was told and advise I've followed.

well you can always find support here. But hopefully you will find a way to get your husband behind you cause it will make the difficulties easier to handle and the accomplishments something you can celebrate together.

I go to my pre-op meeting with the surgeon on Monday and perhaps then I'll be put on some more specific diet. So far, they just told me to lose 5% of my weight or 15lbs, but by last weigh in I had lost 22lbs and I think I've lost a couple more since then. I'm hoping not to have to go on a super-strict diet till the surgery since I have a few fancy meals I have to attend and I wouldn't mind a good send off. However, the weight loss comes first, so whatever the doctor says I'll do.

What part of the journey are you in? What's you age? What are your aspirations and fears? Good luck?

Amazing! I hope that in a year I'm where you are now. Thanks for keeping us updated, it's inspirational.

For a little inspiration, go to google images and search gastric sleeve before and after pictures. Look in their eyes, it's more than just weight loss, it's life gain.

All so true. I took my nephew on the scariest ride at an amusement park cause his parents wouldn't. But when they said I couldn't I felt so embarrassed and defeated. In front of my nephew no less, it was terrible. Every picture of me is with my head at precise angles to "hide" how fat I am. In group pics I stand behind everyone and just let a small patch my my face through. But soon, onto the rides and take those pictures. I do suggest that you break with tradition and get a few last full body fat-girl pics that you can use for 'before and after' evidence and inspiration. I know I have to endure a few pictures now too.

Hi Stephanie and everyone, it looks like we will be going through this together. I go under the knife on the 20th. Nerves one minute and dreams and excitement the next. I think we will all feel the pain and life changes are well worth it when we get to look in the mirror with pride. One thing I think about is walking down the isle of a plane during boarding and not feel like everyone is praying I don't get the seat next to them. I hate that feeling more than any pain I may endure. Congrats and let's rock this surgery!

Hi, I'm getting my surgery at OHSU on the 20th of January. Nervous and excited. I really want to just fast forward a few months.

Thanks all. I didn't know about this site till last night. Wow, what an awesome find. A compassionate, knowledgable crowd who all seem in encouraging and nice.

Congrats. I'm nervous, heading into the surgery in two weeks, and reading threads like this one lifts my spirit. Keep it up.