Kaylamarie

Hi ok so here is a" lil " bit of info on me...I am a Hispanic female, with 3 children, who loves food. I mostly love sweets and I have been overweight since about 8 or 9 years old when my darling grandfather would take me every day after school to get a happy meal with a strawberry milkshake. I loved it and it really made me happy. When you look back at those school photos you see a small, tiny , brown girl and think she's going to be pretty when she's older... to the following school year picture being almost 50, 60 lbs heavier. That pretty girl was now being made fun of and had very bad self esteem even though the happy meals had stopped I was still overweight and had now had a taste for all things sweet and fatty. I grew to a teenager with bad eating habits, and weighed about 160lbs in high school. I was the heavy friend with a pretty face but not skinny enough to fit in. When I was 20, about 190lbs I got pregnant and my weight went up, by my 2nd child I was in the 240's and by baby # 3, 27 years old I was 260 lbs 9 months pregnant. I tried to lose the weight after each child and there were times I was successful and would lose about 30 to 40 lbs but they never stayed off. I even seeked lap band at a desperate attempt but was denied by my insurance, and my hometowns only bariatric doctor at the time was facing lawsuits. It was not meant to be. About 5 years later I had met a person who had Gastric Bypass. She was my age, and similar story to mine. I started to do my research. I found my doctor who by divine intervention was sent to my town. My insurance on first letter approved my surgery and everything was so smooth. I had Gastric Bypass Feb 18th, 2014. Four months after my surgery the news that my family and I knew would come, had came. My husband of 10 years and a soldier stationed in my town for 11 years got PCS orders. I had to move 4 months post gastric bypass from my circle. My mother, grandparents, brother, sister in law ,nieces, nephews and my friends. So here I am almost 1 year out, away from home I have been able to lose more weight since leaving and hit my goal of 135. But beginning to show signs of my old self. Eating clean and having a healthy lifestyle has been so easy up until November. My husband had to leave to school, its the holidays, and I'm essentially in a depression. I have made a couple of trips to Krispy Kreme not for just one donut either. Cakes, and candies have been here for the kids enjoyment during the Christmas time and some how find there way into my hands. I gained about 6 lbs and luckily have lost it in the last 2 weeks.Im sitting at 134.  But im scared. im scared to go back to my old self. Iam my worst enemy and I am terrified of my capabilities. I decided to join this forum in an attempt to regain some type of support circle and a push into staying away from old habits. I need the reminder of how important this surgery was for me, and my family. and how the Lord opened these doors for me and to cherish my tool.