Twilight

My team said that there was no way to set a goal in stone. They suggested that we look at the BMI charts and shoot for "normal" and adjust our goals as we get closer to a comfortable weight. I am shooting for "normal" but know in my heart that I will probably be "overweight" forever. Like they say, shoot for the moon and even if you miss you will land amongst the stars. Why set a too high goal. To me that's saying I don't believe I can do it. That's my way of thinking.

Hi all, I've been a little scarce the last few days. I had way too much stress at home and didn't think I could be even a little positive, so figured it was best just to stay away. For openers, would anyone want to adopt a 13 year old who knows everything and believes that homework/education is for everyone BUT him. Great kid. Talks back, lays on the couch whenever possible, believes that my couch cushions are garbage cans. Lovely child. Even willing to pay child support to the lucky new parent..... Second, any expert potty trainers willing to adopt a 3 1/2 year old who thinks that there is no reason to go in the toilet? Willing to pay big bucks to the person who takes him and breaks him. ANYONE????? Come ON!!!!! A little help here? Show me the love! How about a math teacher to teach my classes while I go on sabbatical. Not going to do anything interesting but it may keep some seventh graders alive long enough to make it to grade eight. No experience necessary. Ask them, I don't know a damned thing. Willing to job switch with you but if I have to go there, you get the parenting and potty training job too. And....I almost forgot....anyone looking for a mate? He's so motivational....asked me yesterday why I'm eating more than my 1/3 of a cup. He looked shocked when I kicked him in the shin and said it's a CUP PER MEAL, STUPID!! And the lovely comments about how much better other women look because knowing what GOOD looks like will make me strive for it so much more. He's got a good job, if that makes THAT offer any more appealing. I did find a snack that curbs my sweet tooth. Del Monte makes a mandarin orange fruit cup. Only 70 cals (lets not discuss the carbs) and not too sweet but just enough to make it better. I'm still stuck at 185 (by my scale which means at least +5 on docs). I want to cry but I'm not going to. I need to refocus on all the good because there is a bunch of good from losing this weight. I'm going to focus on water and low cal foods this week and hopefully things will start moving. I'm not getting my hopes up though. Fill next Monday and maybe that will jumpstart something. Looking back, I guess I'm still not very positive and probably should just lurk for a few more days until I have a better attitude. I just didn't want anyone to worry....not that you probably would have (in my most pitiful eeyore voice). I've really been inspired by the last few days' comments. Way to go Phyll and Karri and so impressed by the exercise goals....thank you for the positive stuff to read. Honestly, without it, I probably would have fallen even further into this hole. Gotta get back to work. Kids will be coming in a couple of minutes.

You all have been awesome! Great reasons for weighing...including obsession. I completely understand. I think I have decided to try the every few days plan. Once a week is just too infrequent and once a day is driving me nuts. So....on Friday I decided I wasn't going to look at the scale until Monday....and then on I went on Saturday. So now, I promised I wasn't crawling on until Friday. I'm out of town tonight so won't have an opportunity until Thursday.....oh the willpower! I weight myself after shower, before dressing. My eyes aren't open enough before shower. Hell, somedays I don't even bother turning on a light to shower....let alone read a scale :rolleyes2: Thanks for all your input

I have read on here that it can take up to a week or two to really feel any restriction from a fill. I've only had one and I feel some difference but have felt that from the beginning, so I don't know for certain. Just what I remember reading. My advice is to let it sit a bit and see if you get any restriction. I've been reading about people who are too tight and that doesn't sound like fun either, so I would be patient. Those would be just my 2 cents though.

I was banded in Bismark but my doc comes to Minot once a month for fills. I don't know if they take other patients but you could try them. It is the primecare bariatric clinic at St Alexis. Worth a shot maybe. Good luck

To support you is what we are here for. You can't feel like you are bugging us by telling us you are struggling. I don't think I've lost 12 pounds since surgery. If you think about it, you are only 5 1/2 weeks out and we are told we will only lose 1-2 pounds a week. You are RIGHT ON TARGET! I'm still struggling with the scale issue. I promise myself I'm going to stay off it for a couple of days and then there I am, climbing right back on the next morning. It's hard to see a change when you don't let your body adjust and the scale time to move. You are doing great if you are only eating 3/4 of a cup of food. Are you staying full on it? I find I'm really hungry about an hour before its time to eat again. Stomach growling obnoxiously kind of hungry. Have you been able to get up and get moving? Let us know how you are feeling. You aren't bothering us by telling about your struggles. If we can help, we're doing something.

My main lump is about 2 inches below my big incision. When I had my first fill I was suprised that the lump is not actually my port. It is above it. My port is actually lower than the ball that feels like it is the port. I guess that isn't a great explanation but my fill PA didn't have a problem locating it. She knew exactly what she was feeling for. It's just our inexperienced hands that don't have a clue. I wouldn't worry. You will be alright.

Sherri, Keep your chin up. We are all working at an extremely difficult task. One that we thought we had all the necessary tools for but were all very naive about. This is going to be tougher than we thought but every day there will be something new for us revel in. Keep looking for them when you feel like you aren't making progress. We are looking forward to hear all of your nsv's

I guess that would be much cheaper than remodelling. Hmmmm....nope, still asking for a new bathroom. Actually not for scale problems, but it would make a good reason. If I get my linen closet in my new bathroom I'm going to look into a dr.s scale. I agree that I couldn't fool myself that way. Guess we'll have to see what I end up with.

Whatta lazy Sunday. I get much lazier and they will think I'm a piece of furniture around here. Oh well, pamper yourself right? I've been snacking a little more today but I have rationed in the calories so hopefully it won't do TOO much damage. Nothing much, just a nibble here and there. I did splurge on a tablespoon of Peanut Butter today. WOW! that stuff doesn't go down very good anymore. I had asked my NUT about it and she said it wasn't forbidden but that she wouldn't recommend more than a couple of tablespoons a week. She said to use it like any other fat....sparingly. DH wanted tuna noodle casserole tonight so I'm not sure what I'm going to do for dinner. Too much carb not enough Protein in it. I will scrounge up something I'm sure. I'm still struggling with the 1 mile walk away the pounds walk so I'm not venturing to the 2 mile. I never thought I was THAT out of shape. Talk about delusional....but about 3/4 of the way through my legs just cant do another high knee up...so I just walk. I really thought I would be just jumping into the 2 mile without a problem. Have a great week coming up, I plan on it.

Definitely sounds like a reason to remodel. I'd push for that. I'm in the middle of convincing my dh that I need a new bathroom. I think I've made it, but he's not going for a new kitchen too. Dang it!

I think it sounds like a good reason to remodel!!! Oh dear, I have nowhere to put my scale and it is SOOOOO important. I need a new bathroom. Yep....that's it!

I guess looking at how I wrote it, you would be confused. It sounds like a really good day on screen. I guess the "bad" part is how it made me feel. Since I have lost a bit of weight I haven't had to nap in the last month or so. I have a ton of energy and my weekends have been filled with days of going and DOING instead of sitting and watching. So yesterday felt like failure. I know that my body needs rest sometimes but I didn't have anything to rest from. It was more out of boredom that I slept and didn't do anything. The only other thing I usually do out of boredom and didn't was eat. And today I feel about the same. Tired. Just so blah. Where did my energy go? I don't know...maybe it's pms but shouldn't be this early...I'm really growly today too. DH looked at me and I snapped off some snotty comment. My big concern, I guess, is that those activities (sitting on the couch and napping) were part of the problem...not the solution. I don't want to go back there. I'm stuck in a rut and need to climb out. I need another attitude adjustment. Lots of reasons for it and not many solutions.... Salsa -- sorry to hear about your botched plans but we'd take that snow over here in NE Montana. It's 45 and melting here. My snowmobile is NEVER going to get out of the trailer at this rate. I'm also sorry that you missed the opportunity to spend time with your dad. There were 3 years that my dad and I didn't speak and I regret ever day of them now that he is gone. Its great that you are patching up a relationship. You are right, you're an adult now and can take things at face value. Take the good with the bad, and enjoy what can be. Well, off to do something...even if it's wrong.

QVC.com has a blender similar to the magic bullet but for only $30ish. I've been debating buying it but haven't found I really NEED it yet. It is a LITTLE more powerful at 250 watts but not a ton.

It's almost 11pm and I want to be tired....but I had a bad day so I could be up for awhile... I had a great eating day. By noon I had already gotten half my water in. That NEVER happens. Normally I'm drinking 48 oz. at 9pm just to say I got my water in. Had a glass of diet v8 fusion and a glass of protein drink for breakfast. A bowl of protein oatmeal from that diet place I was talking about the other day. For snack I had some soy nuts. Dinner was a WONDERFUL beef enchilada. Night snack some soy nut mix. It was so awesome for me. And at no point today was I feeling like I NEEDED something. On the other hand I did NOTHING for the entire afternoon. I did make myself walk a mile with my video before I could eat dinner, but that was the sum total of movement today. I was horrible....even took a NAP! So now I will pay for it by not sleeping tonight. I guess I deserve that. Tomorrow I will make sure I get more moving in. Having an eating day like today mixed with a good exercise day and I can call myself successful. I can't even blame my back because when I do get up and get moving it feels better. Have a great Sunday everyone. I will check in sometime tomorrow.

updating...haven't done that in a while name.............starting#......current#......goal#.....togo# Anitak33...........245............218..........199.......19 Anna2766____.......232............232..........220.......12 TxArcher...........360............353..........345........8 Candle.............218............211..........207.......4 Cerrin.............350............350..........325.......25 chickatee..........188............182..........175.......7 Cookielover........202............202..........192.......10 cQQlgirl...........220............217..........210.......7 Faithmd............306............301.2........296.......5.2 georgiagirl........275............268..........260.......8 Hollyberries.......298............298..........285.......13 Hoppingto..........350............314..........294.......20 Irishmae11.........233.8..........234..........219.......15 Jennie1976.........290............251..........235.......16 jfran..............187............181..........177.......4 Jillrn.............176............176..........166.......10 Jsrico.............255............178..........165.......13 juliegeraci........220............220..........210.......8 KarenG.............207............197..........189.......8 keekahari..........220............217..........205.......12 kjl315.............237.5..........231..........220.......11 legster............223.5..........212..........199.......13 LessnLess..........172............168.5........164.......4.5 liz_hager..........202............198..........190.......8 Manatee............188............178..........175.......3 Mandyjo............191............187..........180.......11 metawnny...........252............252..........240.......12 MJRouse84..........274............233..........218.......15 nip50..............250............243..........238.......5 Rainer.............264............253..........248.......5 Redtulips3.........248............233..........226.......6 RenewedHope........228............217..........210.......7 rharriet...........367............256..........248.......8 Sades..............229............199.7........189.......10.7 Skinny_Jill........195............190..........180.......10 Stacy73............230............223..........222.......1 SueMagoo...........230............224..........220.......4 Sunny112...........145............145..........140.......5 Susan4794..........240............240..........225.......15 Suzzzie............303............294..........290.......4 SWEETY.............180............174..........170.......4 Trystelle..........219............211.5........205.......6.5 Twilight...........206............194..........185.......9 uxbus5.............240............240..........230.......10 want2lose..........236............236..........225.......11 wombat712..........154.8..........150.2........140.......10.2 __________________

Isn't it crazy how much pain stress can cause. It's like it doesn't cause us enough heartache, it has to physically debilitate us too. I'm glad it wasn't more serious though. Did your dr. give you some tips on keeping it from returning? I'm having a quiet day at home. DH wanted to watch the entire Star Wars saga last weekend but only got through the original three....so today are the others. I slept through one and now we're watching the deleted scenes....at this rate we'll never get through them all....but at least its a quiet day. Only problem...I'm not really moving much. I'll get a mile walk in tonight before dinner and try another one before bed. That should make up for my extremely lazy day. I'm making beef enchiladas for dinner. Really looking forward to them. It seems that I've been eating a lot of Mexican food lately. Lots of Protein and vegetables....plus flavor. I love it when I can have some protein with flavor. I'm getting really tired of chx breasts. I need to come up with simple quick FLAVORFUL recipes. I'm so unoriginal. Hope everyone is having a great weekend.

Wow Jackie! You look great. The stance of confidence is amazing! You look so much more sure of yourself and proud. AND YOU SHOULD BE! Thanks for the inspiration

Gail, I am a full time teacher that commutes 30 minutes one way every school day. I have a 13 year old, a 3 year old, and a 1 year old. I get up at 5:30 to get the eldest to basketball practice at 6 and then get the others ready. By the time I get home and get them fed, bathed, and pay ANY attention to them, there is no time for exercise. I also feel guilty when I see how much time others are putting into exercise. On the other hand I did find a dvd at Walmart called walk away the pounds. It has a 1 mile, 2 mile, and 3 mile walk on it. I started the 1 mile this week. It only takes 18 minutes and I can't convince myself that I don't have 18 minutes to give to myself. My idea is that once I work the 18 minutes into my daily schedule, I can then find 15 more minutes a day for the 2 mile walk. It might be an idea. Start small and work your way up from there.... Good luck

AWESOME JOB GAIL!!!! That had to feel good. Life just seems to be getting better doesn't it? Keep em coming

Karri- Good for you getting your exercise in. I started walking this week with a video. My back has been bothering me the last week so it has been a little slow in the moving department. Went to the chiropractor yesterday and can turn my head again and nod too. I did walk a mile yesterday and the day before. I'm sure your folks will be so excited. I know 23 pounds has made a HUGE difference in my world. How far do you have to travel to get there? Is it a mini vacation or just the weekend? I have two weeks til my next fill but can't wait until then. I think another fill will do wonders for my appetite. I do however still have to get a handle on my chewing. I can't seam to get that under control. Am I the only one having a hard time with that? I am not eating a LOT, just eating it without chewing it well enough. Well, I'll check in again later...

I went hunting for this today....needing some reaffirmations this evening and found it back on page 6. Thought I would bump it right on up to the top for anyone else needing that positive something it gives you. I want to add ....because I want to feel like a beautiful woman again.

I may not eat "normal" ever again, whatever normal is.... But when I eat now, I enjoy it, I don't inhale it. I chew and savor and eat with all my senses. Eating is a pleasure and when I am finished I enjoy whatever comes next. I no longer gulp, grab a swig of whatever is handy to wash down this bite so I can gulp down the next. I don't spend all my time thinking about food. I don't eat so much every time I burp something was bound to come up with it. And before when I was finished, I was miserable and like a lump of gravy! So if that is "normal" I'm all over being odd for the rest of my life. There are people very passionate about their problems with the band. But would you expect all those happy and content with their life to be on here singing hallelujahs? I wouldn't. They are out LIVING! They are out where I plan on being in 6 months...enjoying every second of their new life. Now there are some veterans on here and Thank God for them because they are a wealth of information....but the majority of happy people are out being happy....the unhappy ones are broadcasting their problems. Now personally I was glad to know all the possible pitfalls. I was happy to read some of those complications....but more happy to read that it was not going to KILL ME! I self paid and if anything goes wrong I will be paying for it, but it won't KILL ME! If I kept going how I was going, it was going to KILL ME!! I went in eyes wide open. I knew what could go wrong and I was ready for those possibilities. Better to be a boyscout than an ostrich. Nerves are normal....the idea that you are making a life changing decision is a little scary. But letting fear lead you down the path is not healthy...and neither is living as an obese adult. If it is really nerves, you will know, because you'll continue to dream those dreams of what it will be like when you are thin. Good luck

My headaches are usually long and dull when my back is bothering me. It starts in my low back and just works its way up until I can't even turn my head. That is where I was the last few days waiting for the chiropractor to get back to town. He comes to town twice a week. I wouldn't classify them as migranes but they occasionally become migranes. When I put myself under intense stress or am in a very uncomfortable position (large group of strangers for example) my migranes show. They hit hard and fast and normally I'm in the bathroom between shower and floor hoping they will work themselves gone. It is the aftermath that I use the excedrin for. Because they have never been frequent I haven't talked to my dr. about them. I will next time I'm in though....one of the biggest reasons is the nausea that comes with them and the "rememdy" is never pretty. Thanks for the note, I will talk to dr. next time and stay away from motrin for now. As for protein powders, I haven't tried any but those I mentioned. I did go to a smoothie place in the mall around Christmas and they added protein to my smoothie, but since I am 5 hours from the nearest mall, that's not going to happen very often. I'll remember it though for when I do get to a smoothie place. Went to the back cracker. Everything was so tight it wouldn't even pop! He did stretch and straighten things but I need to go back next week. My headache is gone though and I can nod and roll my eyes without pain!!! Can you imagine how hard it is teaching teenager when you can't roll your eyes without pain??? Now if THEY couldn't roll their eyes life would be good! My kids are so great though, they have been awesome! I know Karri is struggling some days, and I do too, but the kids make it SOOOOOO worth all the aggrivation. Karri--come visit. You'ld love it! Well...off to walk my mile! Hubby even said he'd try it with me tonight. Life is so good! I'll chk back later!

I had 3 cc put in at surgery. I guess for some bands that is normal. It is to help it seat itself. At my first fill I got 2 cc's put in. I feel some restriction while drinking, sort of like a funnel effect, early in the morning and late at night. My eating habits are catching up with me since being filled because now, when I don't chew well, I feel it. Good luck! The needle wasn't as bad as I worked myself up to think it would be....but I didn't "watch" the whole time.