Twilight

good morning ladies!!!! Not too bad of a morning so far. My sub didn't correct any papers but that's not too surprising. I guess I should be miffed. He's going to be my replacement so he should have been able to grade papers for crying out loud!!! Oh well. Nothing I can't handle. Woke up this morning not hungry hungry. That's a first. I ate half a serving of kashi instead of a whole. DH didn't make coffee this morning so took a bottle of water instead. Got about half down before I got to school. ... now trying to get coffee down. A little slow going. Maybe I have real restriction this time. I just hope that I get my water in. I've been so good about that and now I might just flop. Oh...confession time. Last night I updated my calories for the day and only had 500 in and had burned almost 200 of those with my morning workout. So....I talked dh into going to DQ. Seemed fair since I hadn't eaten anything all day. Bad bad bad!! At least I didn't pb on it though....sorry Ruby. I got a caramel/marshmallow sundae. Small. Only ate about 1/3 of it though. Go ahead. Chew, chew chew!!! I deserve all the scoldings I get. Fat me took over for awhile and I should have told her to take a hike. Just because I have calories to spend doesn't mean I have to spend them!!!! It didn't even taste that good....hence only eating 1/3 of it. Stupid me!!!! I could have drank my fusion. I could have had another cup of protein cocoa. But no, I have to binge!!!! Okay....running and ducking for cover! Throw all the tomatoes you want!

Holey CATS!!!!! I just updated my ticker and I am 5 pounds....FIVE...count them...1...2..3...4...5!!!! pounds away from being overweight! From morbidly obese to overweight in less than 6 months!!!! Have I said I love my band lately???? Holey CATS!!!

Had a great day. Down almost 7 pounds this month. Got a slight fill. Hopefully I will not be quite so hungry this month. I showed amazing restraint at the mall. Only bought two shirts....on sale. Oh...and a new purse. But it was also on sale.... I know...shame on me. I just am going nuts with clothes. This feeling good about yourself isn't all it's cracked up to be. Okay....I always seem to get a headache after my fills. Is this normal? Tomorrow I'm sure I'll be fine but the day of is horrible. Maybe it's the total liquid thing. I don't seem to get any calories in. Well....I won't go in again until July so no headache next month. I did walk a mile from my group meeting to the fill appointment today....1 mile. So that was a bonus. Okay....fuzzy head. Going to bed. See you all in the morning.

Jackie, you dealt with that so well. You should feel really great about it. It was rational, natural, and firm. I am very impressed. I hope you feel much better after dealing with clients and a nice dinner out with your husband. And great answer about not answering your phone. Kudos to you

This morning I got up and worked out again. I did 10 minute warm up on the treadmill and then 15 minutes again on the elliptical. I think there is something to be said about going to a gym where other people are watching. About half way through my elliptical I was starting to wimp out and thinking "I can't do this, I'll just do 20." And then this couple walks in and one gets on the other elliptical and the other starts running on the treadmill. Oh hell no I'm not giving up. These people aren't going to see some fat wimpy lady on this thing. I'll work! Finished the 30 minutes. Sweating like a pig. Running in my eyes. Rolling down my back. It was gross!!!! But I did it. And then I did 5 minutes to cool down on the treadmill. That was pretty exciting I think. I'm really thinking seriously about the elliptical. It was a hell of a workout! I'll see what I feel like next month.

Jackie, I hope things are seeming better today. Getting some sleep when you have that kind of anxiety can be a great balm on your nerves. I'm so sorry you were treated that way. I hope things are better today. Some advice (coming from the NON-mom of the year) if I have any would be to sit down and talk with her. Advice I got was do it in a manner so she doesn't have to look you in the eye....like driving somewhere. Kids feel safer if they don't have to look you in the eye. Make it safe to tell you about what is wrong. Remember that it is probably NOT YOU. She feels safe saying those horrible things to you because you love her unconditionally and her BFF or her BF would dump her like a hot potato if she vented like that at them. If she doesn't want to talk about it at least talk about something. The latest movie or her last practice or the upcoming summer plans. Get the communication going. See what comes up! I wish I could take that pain from you. How horrible. I do think Karri is right though. Kids don't get it. I didn't understand why it was a big deal growing up, but knew it was supposed to be so did something special. But my kids don't get it. My DH said he didn't really understand until he was a senior. He was at a party given by a classmate and they all camped out. When he went in for breakfast in the morning he wished the hostess a happy mother's day and she cried. She still mentions it. That was when he understood it was a big deal. And he still doesn't think father's day is. I think it might just be us emotional females ) Jackie, let us know what we can do. Good luck today.

Holy Cats is right!!! I need a smiley cat with wings I think! You are so awesome. I'm so much in awe! Mom and I had a great day. Church this morning, then we went out to lunch with my mom and MIL and FIL. Then DH and I went on about a half hour motorcycle ride. Nothing too far but enough to get out in the fresh air. Then mom and I came to Minot....btw, Minot is in ND....we shopped a bit but not alot because there wasn't much open this late on Sunday, but we'll do more tomorrow. Tonight we went out for dinner. I had Tuna. Someone mentioned it and I hadn't ever tried it. If you haven't ever eaten tuna, you should all try it. It was amazing. I could only eat half of it, but it was soooooo good. Room doesn't have a fridge so I can't keep it. Seems a shame. Oh well. I now have a favorite new food. Then we came back here and I worked out. Remember that the reason I booked this motel was because of the elliptical? Well, I warmed up with 10 minutes on the treadmill. I ran for a minute straight. That is amazing for me. It sounds crazy I know but a minute running is huge!!! Then I did 15 minutes on the elliptical. I don't know if that is good or bad, but it almost killed me. It didn't even register a mile so I'm assuming it wasn't that great, but it was super feeling. Now though I'm a little foggy. I'm having a really hard time focussing. I think I need to log off. I can't focus. Have a great day tomorrow everyone. It's a new week and I hope you make the best of it!

Good evening ladies. I'm sure no one is up anymore.....but then again, I took my Saturday nap so I'm not so tired. DH got my motorcycle running today!!! He is definitely my hero. We went out riding for about an hour. It was AWESOME. A little chilly but it was definitely worth it. I can't wait to ride it to school one day before it's out. We got it last summer but I wasn't confident enough to ride it to school yet. I've been dying to though. I'm so glad I'm married to such a handy guy. Then tonight we played wii as a family. We bowled a few games and then we boxed. I did 4 matches. I was about to keel over I tell you. Holey cats!!! I logged it on daily plate as 15 minutes of boxing with a punching bag. Does that sound fair? Then dh and I golfed a few holes. I've never golfed before in my life so that was interesting. I definitely can't say that I'm good at it. I have yet to do the wii fit stuff. I need to get it together. DS took a fitness test today and his wii age is 52. If he's 52 I MUST be 154. Mom and I are going to Minot in the morning after church. M may get on before we leave but probably not much. We'll see.....But I booked a motel room at the holiday inn because they have an elliptical machine so I can try it out. So I'm kind of excited about that. Phyl, you'll have to tell me about Minot on our trip. Not my favorite place, but it does have a mall! It's the closest mall to me....so it's like the hillbilly going to town when I get to go. And btw, I'll wish you a happy mother's day and I would LOVE to have brunch with you. I hope you know how important you are to all of us. I'm sorry that your dd is going through too much to see how horrible she is treating you. Enjoy the little ones tomorrow. don't let dd turn YOUR day into anything less than the perfection that you deserve. Goodnight ladies.

Good morning ladies!!! I hope everyone is having a beautiful Saturday! Ruby! Super job on 3 pounds. That is absolutely amazing. You should feel great! I always feel better when that scale drops. I agree. Being part of the water patrol has kept me much more on top of my liquid intake. I don't think there has been a day since we started it that I haven't gotten at least 48 oz in. With my coffee and juice in the morning it always goes over my 64 oz minimum. Janet! I hope you took a break and went to see your honey man last night. He could make anyone feel better with that voice of his! I hope your DIL is feeling better. How long is she staying in the hospital? You are all in my prayers. Karri! 6 miles?? holey cats!! That is absolutely amazing. You will have my cheers. I'm glad you got new shoes. I'm sure they are helping a lot! I went out with my mom and DH last night for a couple of coctails. Man I get tipsy easy these days. Which is a good thing because that automatically limits my calories. I picked up this really cool book yesterday called "Eat this, not that". It has stuff from all the major chains and tells why one choice is better than the other. They may not be GREAT choices but you'ld be surprised at some of them. I went out and did 4 mile walk this morning. It was absolutely beautiful. 1 hour and after about the 3rd I thought I could go on forever. The first mile is always the roughest. I start with a hill and that gets my heart rate up. Well, this time I did it to begin the walk and then instead of coming home I went back and tackled it a second time. It was after THAT that I felt like I could go and go and go. Pretty exciting! Tomorrow my mom and I are going to Minot for my fill and to spend the day together. I probably won't be around much. I'll be back on later tonight. Have a great day ladies. Don't forget your water. 1 bottle down, working on my second. Drink up ladies!!!!

Okay alll....I'm getting really frustrated with my scale. Mine is fine but I know when I go in it won't be the same and I don't know how much I will have lost by theirs. So when I don't go in for the next couple of months, how do I track my weight loss? I wanted to see if my scales (yes I have 2) said the same thing and they don't. Even though they sit right next to each other. One said 160 this morning, the other said 155. Obviously I have a preference...but know that both of them are lying. So after my weigh in on Monday, my dilemna is whether I go with the light scale, the heavy scale, or buy a new digital so I can track the actual number (because both of them are rotary scales). I know we talked about that and you all gave me good advice....I just don't know what to do. I vote for going with the light scale so I can say I lost 17 pounds this month....but that would be soooo dishonest (I would have to drop my beginning weight 10 pounds too I guess). I'm guessing my weight on Monday will be 165 instead...possibly 167 since their scale is always 5 - 7 pounds higher than mine. Maybe I'm lighter in Montana than I am in North Dakota....that's it, they have more gravity!!! I really weigh 155. What do you all think?

I think Janet's family had an intervention because of her LBT addiction. Does anyone know where the treatment center is so we can bust her out????

Karri!!! You are absolutely amazing. How is your foot feeling? I don't remember hearing much about it since you came back from Eugene. I am assuming it is feeling great, but really I don't know. Have the new shoes helped? Have you decided they were worth the money? 10 miles!!! That is unbelievable. I just can't even wrap my head around that. Amazing. Now...I need to log my food for the day. I just finished dinner and I haven't checked out my cals today so I'm hoping it is down low enough that I can relax tonight. Might have to wii before bed. Janet, waiting to hear how you celebrated. Check in!!!!

phyl, those smiley's kill me every time I see them. I just giggle. Thanks for adding to my day!

I know there has been some discussion over healthy BMI and I don't want to open up that can of worms. I don't want to debate healthy vs unhealthy BMI. What I was wondering today is about body fat. Here is my question and reasoning. I have heard and read that being obese causes our bones to become denser and therefore our BMI increases. I don't know how much so. I don't know how much it effects it. Are we talking a point or two or a major increase. Is BMI supposed to be similar to body fat percent? Is a healthy body fat number the same as your bmi number? I just don't know enough about body fat and was hoping you all could educate me. Help please.

Janet!!! Super job! You've got to do something wonderful to celebrate! Do something you've been wanting to do for a long time. Go somewhere you haven't gone that you have been dying to. Buy something GORGEOUS from QVC!!! Call Trace and tell him you'll have his baby???? Okay....maybe not go that far. I am oh so excited for you! I'd do a dance for you but my students wouldn't understand. Toot toot toot your horn, skip, yell, tell everyone you meet that today is the first day of the new you. The you that can do everything you set your mind to. When you have accomplished THIS, what could stand in your way? Super terrrific. I'll be smiling all day thinking of your accomplishment!

DH said he thinks I'm having a mid life crisis. Can you believe that? I'm not even close enough to middle to have a mid life crisis. How RUDE!!! However, I LOVE the idea of tassles and a bell. A basket would be nice too. Good luck finding it. I'll keep my eyes peeled for you and if I see one I'll let you know.

Janet, getting my two little ones ready for daycare in the morning as well as myself, fighting with the eldest to take a shower, and the morning is always hectic. The few times I have packed a lunch for myself I've left it on the counter and then I have to eat whatever is for lunch here anyways. It just never seems to work out. Oh well 9 more days. Kari, I hope you found your sweet spot. I want to be there. That's one of the reasons I want a fill on Monday. I know I'm not there. I know I could take more....but I'm also worried that I will go too far the other side. I'm so confused and skeptical. Ruby, sorry your little one isn't feeling good. They have a way of throwing everything out of whack. Glad you still got in your walk though. I'm behind in my water. On my first bottle, so it's going to be a floating afternoon. I'll be back later ladies!

Hi everyone. Seems there are a few more people around tonight. While I was slow today everyone else must have been really really busy. Missed you all today. Karri, I wish candy would make me feel awful. I don't enjoy the sweetness like I used to but it doesn't make me feel bad. It is just too easy. I really just try not to be anywhere around it. And if I'm around it I'm okay if someone else is around. They make me more accountable. Janet, I just don't have the plan to get the lunch packed. Most days I have enough calories to spend that I can eat most of what there is for lunch. Today I just wasn't prepared. Tomorrow we have a bbq and have a plan for lunch instead of that. I will take stuff for tomorrow. The good side is that we walk downtown to have the bbq tomorrow so I will get some lunch time exercise. When I have a fill I have to be on liquids for 24 hours and then food as tolerated. I usually spend the next day on mushies and work my way up to solids. Jackie, your bodybugg workout sounded awesome! To burn over 700 cals in a workout is amazing. My walk, even though it is really tough for me, only gives me 150ish calories burned. I would have to walk all day every day to get that kind of calorie burn. I'm just amazed. Super kudos to you!!! I had 4 bottles of water, 1 bottle of iced tea, and 1 travel mug of coffee today. I think that because I stayed super hydrated, I was able to say no to some really bad choices. I came home and walked for 50 minutes though. So all in all I had a great day. Have a great night everyone. I hope you all have a great day tomorrow.

Chris, I hope you have the best time on your cruise. I am so jealous. I've been trying to talk my dh into one for years....but he gave me the option when we got married, honeymoon or house downpayment. Then he gave me the choice when I wanted the band, cruise or band. Next he's going to get out of it because of the tummy tuck I just know it! I'll be 80 before he doesn't have a this or that and then we'll both be too old to enjoy it! I haven't heard, or read, how's your hip doing? Did you buy great new clothes for the cruise? How long will you be gone? I know you leave on Sunday. Have fun!!!!

What a freaking long day. I got all my homework sorted and can now get down to grading. Figured out what I'm missing from each student and put notice on the board. Graded all the geometry I've been putting off. Watched 4 videos for the history teacher....I'm so glad I don't show videos in math class....how freaking boring!! Gave a test and watched my own classes too. So productive but so boring. I've drank 1 1/2 bottles of water and I'm working on another. I had an awful lunch...well it was good for me but not filling. We were having bbq beef sands, potato wedges, mac salad. I had 1/2 cup lettuce salad, 1/4 cup cottage cheese, about 1/2 cup grapes. It was all good. All good for me....but I'm STARVING. I think it's head hunger mostly though....I'm craving salt and chocolate. What a horrible combo of things to crave. Well...school is finally out. I'm going to get some grading done. I'll see how long I can stand staying here.....I need to put in a bunch more time but today was soooooo hard!!! Will check back later

Quiet day on the school front. It is district track meet and I'm missing all but 1 7th grader, all but 1 8th grader, 4 of 7 9th graders, 2 of 8 sophmores, all my juniors and my only senior. The down side is I'm covering for the history teacher/track coach across the hall so I'm running back and forth watching both classes. Mine are good but his try to sleep. However, I should be able to get a lot done. I cleaned out a couple drawers in my desk last period. My sub on Monday is my replacement for next year and don't want to leave too bad of an impression. Threw out a garbage can full of papers that I really didn't need to keep in the first place. Now I can get some major grading done. Next two periods are going to be super quiet. Staying tonight to pack some stuff up. 1/2 bottle of water down. TOM is making me cranky. Obviously a man. Woke up with a headache and ready to bite DH head off. I have the patience of a 2 year old today. I hate it when I feel like this. I need to calm myself. In the past that has always been chocolate. Any suggestions? I should have brought my healthwise cocoa. It's sugar free plus protein...and didn't think of it this morning. I checked for cocoa down in the kitchen this morning but only full sugar. Might need to just put on some soothing music and close my door. Phyl, I forgot to tell you how excited I was to hear that DD was talking to you again and had apologized. Sometimes us daughters are so hard to love. Especially when we are completely stressed out. We hurt those around us that we know love us unconditionally. It feels safe to snap at you because snapping at husband or child can cause disastrous effects. No excuse, but human nature. I'm glad she has seen that she hurt you. Janet, I am so craving the last couple of days. If I had foods around that would start a binge I would be sunk. I do have a couple of granola bars in my desk drawer. I took one out yesterday afternoon. Set it on my desk. Looked at it for about 5 minutes trying to rationalize why I should eat it. It's only 100 calories. Has a little bit of protein. The chocolate would make me feel so good. And then I thought, if it takes 5 minutes to talk myself into it, it's got to be a bad idea and put it back in the drawer. I would normally throw it away but I have a couple of kids who don't get breakfast and some mornings come to me and see if I have anything to eat. I saved it for one of them. I knew if I ate that bit of chocolate, 100 cals or not, it would be over for me yesterday. I would be binging all night. Good job getting rid of the cookies. There are just some trigger foods that we have got to say no to. I'll be popping in and out all day. Too quiet not to check in with my ladies. Smile, someone's thinking about you right now!

Well ladies. I didn't go walking tonight. I decided I needed some peppier music on my shuffle so I took tonight off and did that. It takes a heck of a long time when you have as much music as dh does...and all mixed together. I got a backache just sitting there picking it out. It's Monday night which means funny shows on tv. I love Mondays!!! Had a pretty good food day. Of course now that I said I was wanting a fill I've been full the last few meals. Haven't even wanted to eat today. I did do 5 bottles of water though so maybe that's why. Do you think it's possible to od the water? I mean I do know that you CAN od on water but I'm wondering if I'm overdoing it. But then TOM showed up today too. I think I worry too much. I'm babbling again. I'll sign off and watch for awhile. Have a great night all.

Phyll!!! You did it. How awesome are you? You should be feeling great about the 2 1/2 pounds and even better about losing a 50! You are under a hundred to go. I bet your wii age drops with your pounds. Super job!!!

Thanks Janet. I'm quite honored. And proud of myself for making a name for myself in the profession. I got filled at 6 weeks, went back 4 weeks later and got a fill, next month she took out because of the flu, put about 1/2 of that back last month. I think I'm close to where I need to be but not quite there. I still have days where I seem to be starving all the time. And when I listen to my stomach it is pretty positive my head isn't the problem. But I was going to wait until June before going back, but now I have a class to teach in the western part of the state and the eldest quack has camp out there on the 10th and the only day she is in Minot is the 9th. That means go for fill and then drive about 700 miles away. If I'm too tight then I'm going to be in a world of hurt. I'll be stuck in Helena with no options. So I didn't want to skip May and June because I'm not THAT comfortable right now. I just don't know what to do. She seemed to think I'd be fine, but I'm worried I will not be able to control myself when I don't have school. I think I need more restriction so my band has a LITTLE more say in the matter. Willpower is one thing but I'm not invincible. I got an appointment and I will see what she says. She may not do it. Either way I will see the nut and have her check my food log and see if I'm on track or not. I have a feeling I can still eat more than I should. Well...dinner is ready. I will talk to you all later.

Glad to hear your fill went so smoothly. I know I had built myself up for something major and there was really nothing to it. I hope they all go so smoothly