Twilight

Chris, I don't know if I qualify for big time weight loss....but I feel successful so I thought I would share. I make sure that I eat something in the morning. My favorites are 1. kashi oatmeal with splenda and sf syrup (has Protein and fiber!) 2. kashi crunch with some sort of berries, splenda, and 1% milk 3. yogurt or a Fiber one bar lunch has been a downfall....either I've been too tight to really eat anything substantial or I just am not hungry. When I can eat it, I try a protein like deli turkey or beef, wrapped around a cheese stick. If I go out I eat a salad...because they taste so much better from anywhere but my kitchen. Usually I snack on another fiber one bar....but usually only if that isn't what I had for Breakfast. Even when I'm super tight I can seem to get the fiber one bars down. dinner has not been my favorite meal either. I don't cook good stuff for my family and I know that I won't get it down...so i usually don't eat it and have gotten in the habit of having a bowl of Cereal later in the evening instead. I do supplement my protein in the mornings by adding proticcino mix to my coffee....it's almost as good as one of those convenience store cappicinnos.... If you notice I am really light on the veggies and fruits. I know that is a problem for me. I wish I liked more than I do. My family only ever ate corn and Beans.....and that's really how far my tastes go most days. How sad is that??? Anyways. Those are the types of things that I eat. I have slowed as of late but I'm almost to goal so I'm not going to complain. Tracking online has been a GIANT help. When I track, I lose...when I don't....I don't. I have not been exercising regularly lately and that has got to change. I want to get back into that habit. I feel better when I do but I've been so danged busy. It just seems to be beyond me right now. Good luck....but don't discount how well you have done. You are doing an awesome job. With a new fill you will probably be dropping the pounds like flies! You go girl!!!!!

You are so much stronger than I am!!! It would be so nice if you didn't have to do this with willpower alone. grrr. You've done a fantastic job so far though. You are definitely an inspiration for me. I can't tell you how amazing I think you've done.

Just dailyplated it.... cals = 1100 carbs = 133g protein = 58 g liquid 16 oz coffee, 32 oz water, 16 oz proticcino, need 16 oz more water before bed. How did everyone else do today? Ruby????

I checked out the silicone sleeves on amazon.....very cool. I was subbing for the science teacher in my old school. Pee Wee Butthead made me angry again today. Imagine that. grrrrrr. But it was nice to see the kids. Wish the teacher had left me something to do though. It was a bit boring. The sinus is a little better today. I still have a nasty headache but it is feeling better in a lot of ways. As for the avatar. My brother said the more weight I lose, the more out of proportion my head gets. Sort of like a bobble head. He says it looks like my head is just perched on my neck. JERK!!!!! But now I'm really self concious of it. He definitely knows how to push my buttons. I don't know how he found that one...but he did. Anyways. I see more of my mom in my face as I lose weight. It's amazing. I didn't think I looked that much like her. Very funny. Okay....off for a bit.

Wow. What a quiet evening. I thought it was quiet when I WASN'T here. I had a pretty good day today. Had a chedder brat for dinner. I'll have a little more protein later tonight. I haven't looked at daily plate for the day but I'm sure I'm fine. I did have some black licorice today. I'm not feeling guilty. It was DEVINE!!! Got it out of my system and now I feel better. Tomorrow I am spending the day trying to get my house in order after being gone for the 2 weeks. I have laundry coming out of my ears, the kids' bedroom is insane!!! I think I'm going to toss toys. A LOT of toys. I'm going to kick @$$ and take names here tomorrow. I've got a great thing to share with you all that has NOTHING to do with weight/size. The state is revising it's math curriculum standards. Those are the things that the state says all teachers should be teaching all students. Montana's were written in 1999. It is now time to revise them. There are going to be 30 teachers from across the state divided into 3 teams to hammer them out. I have been asked to be the facilitator that oversees them all. I am feeling so honored. Maybe it's just an administrative position but it makes me feel like Im going to have a major impact on the state's math world for the next who knows how long. I can't explain how I feel about it. Awesome just doesn't cover it. Anyways. I'll talk to you all later. Oh...if you want to see the dogs that we are looking at adopting....click here GPA Rocky Mountain - Available Hounds 3 weeks!!! I can't wait to meet them. Okay....I'll bbl. Have a great night ladies

Checking in for a minute ladies. Just wanted to say hi. It was weigh in day and I'm so close to normal I can taste it! Doing alright today. I got coffee and a protein drink down and today's school lunch was alright. peas, chx and rice casserole, and a little square of jello. I have another protein drink for this afternoon. I'm trying to stay mushie to let everything settle down. Ruby, I agree with Janet. You need to keep your NET cals at the goal level that they gave you on daily plate to attain the weight loss. At least that's what I've done and it has always worked for me. The negative and really low net cals are going to throw you into starvation mode. Remember that 2000 net is what is considered "normal" for a day for non-banders. Less than that, or at the level where dailyplate put you, will put you into weight loss. At least that is how I read the program working. I would not let your net cals be less than 800 for sure. Especially with the amount of exercise you are doing. Again, that's just MHO and take it for what it is worth! You have done a GREAT job upping your protein though and I hope it is making you feel better. I know I feel tons better when I get mine in. Alright....going to go teach for a few minutes....more on that later....

Janet, the bruise and loose teeth were from so much sinus buildup actually. I've never had a sinus infection cause such pain and pressure, but .... I guess it happens. I didn't hurt myself in the shower. I managed to get myself almost prone and call for my mom before I passed out. At least I felt it coming. Big praise for small blessings. I am feeling better for the most part. Still extremely tight and need to do a couple days of liquids to try to let everything unswell. Karri, you do sound a bit manic but I always enjoyed the manic phases. I'm glad to see you are going to see a counselor. I think with the loss of your MIL it will be a great ease on your mind. I'm so glad you are back posting though. It was scary not having you around. I'm so excited to see your 10k run time. Great numbers. I'm sorry your co-worker is being such a putz. Okay....going to bed. I'll talk to you all later. I'm subbing tomorrow. I'll be back tomorrow night. Have a great day!!!!

All right ladies. I'm going to try to get a full post in but I'm sure I'll have to come back and share other news later because so much has happened in the last 2 weeks or so. First and foremost....I missed you guys so much. I thought about you every day and just didn't have time to get on the computer to catch up. I knew it would take a long while to read everything and I just didn't have time or the energy. Sorry I went MIA for so long. It shouldn't happen again. But I missed you all. And missed you more for the companion/friendship you give me than for the support. I just wanted to know how you all were doing! I love you guys!!! Okay...enough mush.... First...I've been sick. I thought it was a cold that hit hard and hit strong. Then the morning I was supposed to go to San Antonio I passed out in the shower. It wasn't great. Of course, I went anyways...but had to call home and beg for antibiotics before I was forced to the emergency room. Ended up with a killer sinus infection. The swelling was so bad that my top teeth are still loose on one side and my cheek has a bruise. Because I was so sick I was super tight....and then I flew....and then I was worried about myself....I've been stuck for almost 10 days. I can get liquids in, and for some reason fiberone bars usually don't give me any problems, but anything much more solid and it's sick again. So I've been in starvation mode and my weight is stagnant. Now that I'm home I will be able to get in more soft foods that will allow me to boost my calories and hopefully break through some of this. Being at the mercy of fancy restaraunts and hotel gift shops has not given me many options. I've managed to stay away from the junk for the most part, but that's kept my calories WAY down and that's never a good thing. So I need to go in and have some of my fill taken out. Because I'm not starving and I can work within these confines with protein drinks, fiber one bars, and some mushies, I'm going to wait until the pa comes to Minot again on the 13th. If for some reason it gets worse, I will head all the way to Bismarck but I think I should be alright. I'm going to have some removed though so I can eat semi-normal. I'm still not able to get hard protein in and it stay down. Even cheese sticks seem to be a problem....no matter how hard I chew. Now that I'm home I can get back into a routine of liquids and exercise. On the plus side, every day I was in San Antonio I walked my BUTT off. So I have to go change my signature to add 8 days for that. I think I'm going to make my goal this month!!!! It felt so good to be the one leading the pack. My family was tired and wanting to sit down and take breaks and I was going strong. I never felt like I was going to die. It was so exciting. I knew I was in better shape but didn't know if I had any real stamina. Now I know I do. Mom and I had a great time. She's doing well for everyone who has asked. She will be out here in a week or so for a few days. Then she goes home for her PS and to recoup. I told her that she needs to get on here and visit and she said she would if I set her up an account. I didn't have time while I was out there, but we'll get it set up when she's here. In the meantime, she says hello to all her Lucky 7 pals! Okay....there is a lot more news but I will save it for a little while later. I need to get the kids from daycare and do some other things. You all have a great rest of the day and I'll talk to you tonight. I'll also post replies to some of you then. There's so much to catch up on!!!!! CBL ladies!

Hi all, I thought it would be nice to just have a single thread where we could all just blog about our journey. We can talk about our days and just generally update it. I know the week of the 17thers have one like this but since that's only 1/4 of the group I thought maybe we could all have a single place. Tell us about your successes....your setbacks....your day in general. Today was an alright day. I had a great teaching day, a decent eating day and a not so great exercise day. I'm not getting on the scale until Monday so that maybe I'll actually see some progress. How is everyone else doing?

I'm home. I'm going to go back and try to catch up but wanted to say hi to everyone. Missed you all and thought about you all a LOT!!! I'll go read and write more later.

I say net. You can have a little extra treat if you are willing to work it off. I always figured that as long as my nets were under the goal I was alright....and it always worked for me.

I'm not sure how this woman is supposed to get more experience if everyone says avoid her. Now this may be me speaking out of my butt....so forgive me if it doesn't make sense.....but I wonder if these guys who have done 1000's start taking short cuts because they "know" so much with having so much experience. I would think a newer surgeon would still be doing it "by the book". Granted I wouldn't want to be #1 or even #10, but by 50 I would think she is getting a little comfortable with her skills. JMHO

Ebeth, don't give up. I know it is frustrating while going through it, but you are probably really close to good restriction. When I had 6.5 cc's in I was starting to really worry that I was getting too close to full and I was going to be a miserable failure. but now, at 7.2 (and 3 fills/unfills to get me to that place) I'm feeling much more like this was a good idea. So be patient and keep going strong. Don't lose faith. This time in your band life is the toughest. Keep making those changes that are going to make you successful, eating in the right order, drinking all your liquids, exercise, and chew chew chew. Take this time to really learn the amounts of cals, Protein, and such in food, by logging everything. I'll be looking for good stuff from you in the future. You will not let me down, I'm sure!

Ladies! You are awesome! Thank you for your complements. It makes me feel better about how I see myself....that I'm not crazy thinking there is still room for improvement. Yes Candice, that is a sports bra but bought especially to go under the tanks. Any REAL bra has straps that don't work. If I'm wearing something over it I wear a real bra though. The girls definitely appreciate it when I support them correctly. Another problem with continued loss is my new beautiful bras don't fit cup size anymore. GRRR. I owe you all a big apology though. I remember when I got here I said the oh yeah look at me posts that the Dec. threads created drove me crazy. And then here I am doing the same thing I think. I'm really sorry you guys. I guess I'm a big hypocrite. I love you guys and I'm re evaluating. I'll be back later. Little girly isn't feeling really well tonight so I'm going to spend some time cuddling. Still have to pack too.

Here they are, they aren't great, but they never are. I didn't use the spanx and wore the most disgusting looking clothes I could come up with. If I feel bad about me, I should try to burn your eyes too.

Hi ladies! Hope everyone had a great day. I did so far. Went to my school to sub for the computer teacher and really had a great visit with all the kids. It was wonderful! And I'm missed which more than I thought I would be. That makes me feel like I did something special there. Then I went and got my hair done and I LOVE it. I don't know that I'll be able to fix it the way the lady did....but I love it anyways. I'm going to have dh take some pics tonight and post them. I do think you need to see what I'm talking about so that you can give me the honest view of other bandsters. Phyl, there is no way you should be disappointed in any way. You have lost an amazing amount of weight. Like Janet said, there is a lot of reason for you having "slow" loss....but I wouldn't call what you've done slow in any sense of the word. You've lost an average of what??? 8 pounds a month? Some months bigger, some months smaller, but 8 pounds a month! That's amazing. And then when you are heavier it takes a lot more loss to drop a size. I remember it seemed to take a LONG time for the drop from 20 - 18 but by the time I had worn my size 16's about 3 times I needed 14's. Since June I have dropped from 12 to 10 to 8 to 6....the end of July I was more in 10's than 8's. Finally, you have those knees that are holding you back. Now....let me tell you what I told Rose. That Phyl is so inspirational. She had the love of herself to want to make her life better. She didn't just give up because she has bad knees. She does her wii fit almost EVERY DAY! And she has lost an amazing amount of weight! She travels. She's so outgoing. I hope I am half the woman she is at her age. I want to be as wonderful as her some day. You are an amazing woman. You have done amazing things in the last year. Please know how much I think of you. Okay...I have to go. I will talk to you again later today.

Thank you ladies. Your love and support means so much to me. Janet, I am 5'2" and in 5 pounds I will be "normal". I will be at the weight I was when I graduated high school almost 20 years ago. And I was "fat" then but remember wearing size 13 then too. I talked to Jeff about my concerns and he was great. He listened and then asked some good questions. He asked if I was still losing and I told him about a pound a week...so I am slowing down there. He asked if I was eating and what a normal day consists of (because he is gone for most of it and I usually don't eat whatever I cook them for dinner). He asked me how I know my protein and cals are where they should be and I showed him my food log. Then he said, if I'm eating the food I need to eat, getting the protein I need to stay healthy, and feeling and looking good, he is not going to worry. He promised to tell me the minute he thought I was looking too thin or if someone told him I was looking too thin and we would re-evaluate. He does express some concern over my obsession with this....because it seems to be the only thing I talk about anymore and when I'm online it's here that I am....but that he will talk to me seriously if he starts becoming really worried. I feel better after voicing my concerns. I think a lot of it was the 5 hours alone in the car thinking about it. I will post those pictures if I can get dh to take them tomorrow sometime. Can I at least wear my spanx to hide the paunch??? I can't stand THAT!!! Anyways....goodnight ladies. DD didn't sleep well last night...had a tummy ache so I didn't sleep well either...and I'm tired. I'm subbing tomorrow morning but will be here in the afternoon. Have a great day. And where is Phyl? I'm beginning to worry about Denise and Linda....maybe I will call Linda tomorrow if she doesn't check in. And Karri! She's still doing alright Janet? The first couple weeks with kids are hell...and then she gets to run again and she's training so I'm sure she's hectic, just hoping she's feeling a little better as time goes on. Oh....cals were about 1200 today, protein only 40g. Liquid was up at 80 oz though. Night ladies!

Thanks Ruby and Candice! I don't know if I explained myself well enough before in some ways. My big concern is going from being fat and seeing myself "not THAT fat" and not doing anything about it until it was way beyond scary, to being thing and seeing myself as "not THAT thin" and not doing anything about THAT until it is beyond scary. Is it possible to go from a food addict to anorexic in a year? I just don't know. Now don't get me wrong. I am nowhere near that right now. I just worry that I COULD get there and not know it. There is a member on here who gets really angry when someone questions if she is TOO thin. Now....hang on....I'm not saying she is. I'm saying she get really hurt, vocal, and I don't want to get that way. Anyways....thanks for your advice. Eating french fries isn't going to get me to anorexia any time soon so I guess I don't need to worry about it too much. I'll have dh take some pics of me in my new clothes and let you guys keep me on track. I LOVE that idea. You all will be super honest with me. You're all great! Okay...off for a while. Talk to you all again soon.

Hi ladies. Back from Minot. Yesterday's totals were 830cal/27g protein. Didn't have my protein drink yesterday. Obviously that's an issue. I had giant cravings yesterday for salt...popcorn, cheese whiz...crap in general. I managed to fight them for the most part. Today's totals aren't very good so far.....had lunch at McD's...and was not a GREAT chooser. I did have a grilled snack wrap, but then I couldn't talk myself out of the fries. Only ate about 1/2 of a small order and ds took the rest with him this evening so I'm not tempted. But with the huge cals in fries it doesn't leave me many left to spend and I'm really low protein again...so I'm going to go over cals and not worry about it. The great news.....I had to get some pants. I needed longer pants for teaching and the fall in general. Well....size 6 it is! and in 3 different brands so I'm going to call it true! However that brought on a whole other issue. Follow this with me and see if you have anything to say..... Okay, so my friends and family are all calling me skinny and telling me how amazing I look. Wonderful...who doesn't want to have a compliment. I don't see it, but hey, more power to them. But I DON"T SEE IT! I put on a size 6 and that to me is above and beyond....but I'm still fat! I am. I look in the mirror and can pick out all the places I still need to lose. I'm not almost there. I still have a double chin in some pictures. My bmi is still overweight. But a size 6 is not fat! In no one's world is a size 6 fat. but I am fat. I KNOW I am. So how can the scale say fat, he clothes say skinny the mirror say fat, the friends say skinny, and when am I going to be happy with it? If I still see fat am I now going to the other extreme of weight loss? Am I going to be able to say enough is enough? I'm really worried that I'm not going to know when I'm finished...and if I don't know if I'm finished, and go by some number on a scale, then if I start gaining again how do I know when it's too much? Can you see the psycho bs I played with all the way home? I'm just crazy. I know that. But I'm worried a bit. Okay...going to go see if my little girl is a little bit cranky or just really not feeling good. Talk to you later ladies.

If your dr. has a problem with you returning because you are too tight, it's time to find someone else. That would be too scary!!! My nurse said something about telling if your dehydration was getting serious by pinching the skin on your hand up and let it go....if hydrated it goes right back. If there is a problem, it is slow going back to normal. You might do an google search on how to tell if you are dehydrated.....it might help you put your mind at ease or let you know that tomorrow morning is too late. Good luck!

As you irritated it the first time, things started to swell. Crackers were probably a bad choice because they do swell as liquid hits them and then you have a slight "stuck". The irritation then makes everything tighter and it just seems to keep getting worse. Especially if you keep trying to put food down. It sounds good to go back and get some removed. Until then, try something warm. Something like tea. Hopefully you'll feel a little better. But don't try to eat just because you are feeling better. Stay on liquids until you see your team again. Good luck.

Hi ladies. A quick check in. Nothing too exciting happening here. Thanks for all the congrats on 80 pounds. I am really proud of that. I couldn't be more stoked at my progress. The best part is that the last few days my pants have started being HUGE instead of a little loose. Even when I first take them out of the dryer....so that means I have a huge excuse to go shopping and DH can't complain! After all, would he want everyone seeing my butt??? I guess a belt would work, but don't tell him that....besides I would still have baggy butt. DH has told me to call the insurance company to get him going. We just started with a new carrier on the 1st so I've been giving it a week or so before I start talking to them about it. He's still not sure he can handle the chew chew chew and the little portions but I told him not to sweat it because until it's not an option you don't think you can do it....but when it gets to the point that you HAVE to eat that way...it's just what you do. He's given up the late night cupboard raids and most of the pop so he's stepping right up there. I go to my mom's house on Wednesday. We are going to San Antonio together along with my sister and brother-in-law. Then she will spend some time out here in October, go home for her facelift, and then spend the winter mostly here....so her friends out there won't see her and judge her (she's so funny). I'm still trying to talk her into buying a house out here for the winters but she's still refusing. I'll wear her down one of these days. I don't know if she is still lurking on the site, but she was before the trip so it wouldn't surprise me if she does check in. If you're looking.....HI MOM!!!!! I was going to type Karri a message too. I don't know if she'll see it, but I didn't want to pm it because it might be good for someone else. Anyways, when I started on zoloft it was nuts after about 2 weeks. I all of a sudden didn't care about ANYTHING. I couldn't make a decision on what to eat at night because I just didn't care. It was really frightening. This was about the time that I was thinking about not working this year and I couldn't come to any decisions. The only reason I got up and went to work every day was because it was something I didn't have to decide on. What to wear, when to go to bed, how much creamer to put in my coffee....I felt like a total incompetent. It was very strange. And then I knew that it should bother me that these things were going on, but I didn't care. I didn't care when my son stole something from the store, I didn't care when my students didn't turn int their homework, I didn't care if the sun came up the next day. Just DID NOT CARE. The good news....it passed. I doubled my dose and all of a sudden everything was clear again. I cared about things I should, but was no longer obsessing over trivial stuff. I could cry again, when it was appropriate but not when it was stupid. I decided to stay home from school. It just took getting to the right dosage. Now I'm fine. I feel completely in control of my emotions instead of my emotions being in control of me. I can get angry when I need to, or sad when I need to. I get frustrated....all of it. So Karri, it's alright to be feeling a little strange. I know it's scary and frustrating and you think you're losing your mind....but we are your family and we are all pulling for you. I'm praying you find the right dose of the right med soon. We love you! DH just got a movie so I'm goiing to curl up and watch it. Talk to you all later.

I was so close to 80 pounds this month! I was holding out until this morning so that I could maybe make it. But 79.3 isn't anything to sneeze at so I'm not complaining. I'll be in the 80 pound loss soon. Before my next official weigh day....on Thursday I'm sure!

Hi ladies. A couple of big things to chat about. Today is 9 months. I got on the wii because I wanted an official 9 month weight. I did lose a little more the last couple of days. That goodness because the 1/2 pound last week was a little sad. I am so close to 80 pounds. So close I can almost taste it. So that was the number one today. Then after I got home from Michael's first football game I got a great phone call. The greyhound rescue got my application and the placement coordinator called. They sounded very positive and it sounds like I'm going to get a dog!!!! I'm stoked. There are still a few hoops to jump through, but it sounds positive. All in all a very positive day! Talk to you ladies later.

Okay ladies. Checking in before bed. I'm not sure how to count my pizza. It is Chicago cut (little squares) about 2 in x 2 in. Sausage, pep, pinapple, saurkraut. Then I took about 1/2 cup peach/pineapple salsa and added that to the top of the 3 pieces I "topped". No crust, just tops. I don't think that put me over cals but the cocktails probably did. We'll just not discuss those. Any ideas on pizza cals to count? Lots of mozz cheese but since mozz cheese sticks are an acceptable food during all phases, I think it's alright. Not a lot of sausage and pep....I stuck to the outsides where there were more pine and kraut. Who knows and it probably doesn't matter. Monday I go to Minot for support group. No fill appointment...wondering if I walked in if they would just weigh me so I could track but it really doesn't matter since I've started using my wii weight instead of dr. office. I do need to get a nice pair of jeans. I have a pair of skinny jeans that I love but have to be worn with heals...and I would like just a knock around pair that fit. Right now wearing a small size 14....probably more like a 12. I need something for winter. Shorts just aren't going to cut it. Poor Jeff and my shopping addiction. Maybe I'll get lucky and find a good sale. It just seems that no matter what size I am, there are no clothes that size. What is up with that? Karri, weekend is here and we need to hear how your week went. First week with kids, wasn't it? Or was that next week. Whichever, hopefully you didn't kill a co-worker or anything. I was thinking about you this week. How did the running go? Okay....too much alcohol and computer access probably isn't a good thing. I'll talk to you ladies tomorrow. Night all.