Twilight

Hi ladies. Just a quick check in. Candice!! It sounds beautiful there. I really am missing the snow so far. I wish we had a couple feet. My snowmobiles are definitely needing a workout. As for 430 miles....that's CLOSE. Think how often I go see Rose.....she's 500 miles away. I'm going to run. Busy day doing not a whole lot of everything. Talk to you all later. Good to see you again Candice...by the way.

Karri!!!! I am so excited to see you. I knew school had to be kicking your butt. If you don't have a chance to go back and read a few pages, we've come up with a new saying. I think if you liked "holy cats!" you're going to LOVE "eat rocks and die!!!!" I love the fact that I can say that IN SCHOOLS! I can THINK it in school and not want to excuse myself! Eat rocks and die! I LOVE it! But I did miss you. I am so looking forward to hearing about your training and your run. I will be here cheering you on! I have been thinking about trying to make the trip out to see your big one. I think it might need to be a 7's trip. So, no going AWOL again. Stick with us. I've gotta get to bed, but I will be looking forward to hearing from you tomorrow. I have your personal email so I will be pestering you, trust me. Welcome home! You were so missed!

Hi there ladies. I hope you all have a good night. My evening food wise was AWFUL. I know it was because I was deprived all day that my mind justified every evil thing I put in my mouth. grrrr. I hate not having self control. I am subbing tomorrow so I won't be around and will be able to limit my cals all day. I will make a good lunch for me though so I won't have a problem. Jeff has irritated me tonight. He is being such an @$$ about my dogs. I just don't know. He came home late. Sat down and ate dinner. Put his plate away but nothing else....even though everything was left because HE was late. Then he does nothing with the kids tonight. And then he refuses to put MY dogs out. He's just being an @$$. I think he's trying to make a point about me leaving but he agreed to it when I brought it up to him in August...I think I may just have to tell HIM to eat rocks and die! GRRRRR I am so frustrated. And tired...and since I'm subbing tomorrow I had better get to bed. Have a good night ladies. I will talk to you all tomorrow afternoon. toodles!

I know my mom (Janet) will disagree with this but when I sub I often don't eat formal lunch. Actually, I don't know the protocol so I bring something to snack and nibble in the classroom. For example the night I had such issues, I ate a fiber one bar and 1-2 oz of jerky for lunch. For munchies while I was driving I had a candy bar (first in a long time) and some sunflower seeds. 3 hours into trip I had a quarter pounder with cheese. 45 mins after the QP I started having issues and 2 hours after it became a REAL issue. By 2 1/2 I was almost comatose. So I don't know why after 5 hours of not eating it finally dropped. I think it might have to do with my activity level. Today was mainly sedentary, that day I was teaching. Last time I was out until midnightish and then up early for church and had an issue at church. The other thing I can't rule out is the blood pressure issue. At church I was standing, sitting, standing when I got icky....and then driving....and on the trip I was sitting driving. Maybe I'm having blood pressure problems. We'll just see what he says when he sees me. When at home I never go 5 hours without eating while awake....but I can't say that when I'm out doing. Lots of times that's an issue for me.

Hi ladies. Hope you all had a good day. I will be back on tonight to let you know more about my day but wanted to tell you all about my test. No results yet....at least officially....my fasting was good, drank the gunk, my 1 hour was low in my mind but that's good I guess, hours 2 and 3 were steadily dropping and then hour 4 was up like my body took care of everything and they didn't even think I needed to come back for the 5th but since I was across the street they said, might as well. Well hour 5 dropped from 105 to 64. 60 is the panic value. So I don't know what that means exactly except I will know more after Kirk figures it out. I'm sure he's going to tell me to check my levels if I feel low and report back on how low and how often. I go back on Monday to get my blood work numbers so I may not know until then. He did give me some strips for my monitor so I could check if I feel low. Okay...off to do some family stuff. I'll bbl.

My December group had this site on one of the posts. It's interesting. I'm not sure how much stock I put in it, but it gives more info than the normal BMI calculator. You might want to check it out. Calculator

Very interesting Chris. Thanks

Morning ladies! One hour into 5 hour glucose test. It's going to be a long day. That orange crap is NASTY!! I'm glad I'm not as tight as I was because I never would have been able to drink 10 oz in an HOUR before. I'm tired. I know it's the sugar high/crash thing. Going to doze for a half hour while I wait to walk across the street for my next finger poke. Oh...and as for finger poke??? Why does that have to hurt so bad? I'm not horrible big baby...but those finger pricks HURT.

Hi ladies. I hope all are doing well. Wish I could come to your party too Phyl. I would snack and give Earl a stroke just watching me. Then he wouldn't have to worry about YOU. I'm glad you've come to a silent agreement. As for the lady in the pool. I agree. Eat Rocks and die. I will have to remember that. I love the phrase. Car, thanks for the info on low bp. My PCP seemed to not be OVERLY concerned. He said as long as it doesn't get worse he is fine. The way he put it, if your top number is 120 instead of 130, good....110 better than 120, 100 better than 110, and 90 better for me than 100...but if it gets lower than that, and stays that way, he will begin to worry. That doesn't bother me nearly as much as the blood sugar though. But I do appreciate the heads up. I was wondering how low was too low and what to watch for. Interesting that the symptoms are similar to what I was feeling with what I thought was low blood sugar. Who knows. Today I checked my blood sugar before dinner. It was down at 81. Interesting it was that low and it hadn't been too long since I had ate, but I was doing some reading on monitors and that was a little scary. I guess they aren't very accurate. But that was on wiki so it could be not so accurate either. I will do a 5 hour glucose test tomorrow. Nothing after midnight tonight. Start at 830 finish at 130. I think that by lunch tomorrow I'll be VERY hungry. How many calories is there in 100ml of that crud I have to drink? Hopefully not more than 300. Food today was good. 1/2 pbj for lunch (left over from kids, and I ate it before I realized it so left it at that instead of adding), dinner was chx, broc, rice casserole and fresh pineapple. Oh...breakfast. Not postive. I know I had coffee with creamer. I'm almost positive I ate something, but not sure what it was. I just don't know what it was. I was so concerned about my morning chores I guess...and making sure that I knew what I was going to tell doc. There were a couple of other things I was going to say, but in the last 45 mins since I started this I have forgotten. I'll have to go back and reread the last few pages. I'll talk to you later ladies.

Oh...he seemed a little worried about my bp...we'll have to keep an eye on it. Today it was 90 over 48. He said not to worry unless it gets lower than that, but he did have me get it taken laying, sitting, and standing. Sitting was the highest but still in the 90's....so who knows.

Okay...back. Tomorrow morning I go in for a glucose tolerance test. He says that right now I'm eating a fairly good diet for hypoglycemia, but that it sounds like that's what the problem is. He wants to be very certain first though. I guess I'll do some research of my own. He also told me to keep my blood sugar monitor with me and if I have any more episodes to take my level so we can monitor that. Seeing that they are so infrequent...but more frequent lately....I worry that I won't have it with me when I need it. It's just a habit I need to get into I guess. So ladies, I'll talk to you tonight or tomorrow and let you know how it all goes. Have a great rest of the day.

Hi ladies. Just a quick post before I go see doc. I'll check back in with a full report from him. My blood pressure is beginning to spike just thinking about it. Oh...I have to remember, my bp at my fill was something like 105 over 60. The lady seemed a little disconcerted. Usually they say "very good" and this time she cocked an eyebrow. Yesterday i did really great foodwise until evening and then started munching on the goodies that dh bought when i wasn't home. Just couldn't stop. I'd tell myself I wasn't going to have ONE MORE BITE and then 5 minutes later there I was chewing again. I did get all my liquids in yesterday. That in and of itself was a victory. Okay...off to the doc. BBL

Morning everyone. I was traveling yesterday and got in a little late. .... and then I had THREE PAGES to catch up on. I have to do some running today. I promise I will post this afternoon. I got an appointment tomorrow afternoon to see the doctor. It's unheard of to be able to get into see him so quickly, but it's going to be nice to get this off my chest. I'm going to sit down tonight and write notes so I don't forget anything. Gotta run. Rose is chomping at the bit to get on the road. Talk to you later ladies. Phyl, don't kill anyone, in this economy we may not have bail money for you! Janet, wish I could help with the computer issues. okay...later.

Really? No one? Really? guys, come on. I was so looking forward to seeing what you all had done today. I started meetings at 7:45 am and just got back to my room. Granted we had dinner and cocktails but it's been very math focused for 14 hours. I needed you all as a diversion. Very good food day for the most part. I need to have some fill put back in though. NO restriction at all. In fact, girl friend and I shared a bagel sandwich for lunch, me thinking I would just eat the inside.....and I ATE a bagel. I should have stopped myself but it was in and gone without my really considering it. And after I was appauled that I had eaten it without thinking, but really upset by the fact that I COULD eat it. So I will be going back in for refill soon. Okay...it's been a long day. I have a sudoku game to finish on facebook and then I'm off to bed. Night ladies. I hope it's an amazing weekend!

Hi ladies. I missed you today. Busy busy and never even a minute to breathe it seemed. I made sure to have food but dinner was late (catering glitch) and I do have a headache. I ate, chicken, salad, a little rice....so I know I have food in my belly. I was feeling munchy so I had a couple pieces of jerky. Will be heading off to bed soon. I will do some looking for hypoglycemia online. I knew there had to be a word for it. I have looking at things online though because then I become paranoid. I have everything from tumors to lyme disease to shingles when I start looking at dr. things. It's usually better to just not look.....but in this case I will. Car, amazing progress!!!! You will be there in no time. Just stay focused. Pull out all the stops as you fight those last 6 pounds. And when you get there, jump up and down shouting GOAL!!!!!!! Maybe a few cartwheels. Okay...I'm beat. It really was a long day. Night ladies! Sleep well.

Yikes ladies!!! Where are you? Okay. I have a few minutes so let me explain my episode of last night.... A little background. When I was pregger with Nick I had gestational diabetes. They gave me a blood sugar monitor and put me on glucophage. Well I soon learned what happens when your blood sugar gets too low. I get sick, shaky, headache, sweat and cold at the same time and amazingly cranky. I've always had a little of that feeling when I would not eat because I was busy or when out and about with my mother who never eats. As soon as I got the headache, a migrane was on the way if I didn't take care of it soon. Before my surgery I went to doc saying I was having more of these episodes. He told me I didn't know what I was talking about and there was no reason to worry. My blood work was alright, not great, but alright. I'm assuming that means he sees no spikes. So I've been doing alright since banding. Very few of these episodes. Maybe once every couple of months. Always brought on when I forgot to eat and easily remedied. Then there was the halloween weekend. There was one of these episodes before that that week but I didn't put them together. You'll remember I came home from church because I was sick. Didn't want to call it a hangover. Jeff mentioned my blood sugar, I poo pooed it, but when he left I asked my son for a toosie roll, ate it, went to sleep almost immediately and woke up an hour later just fine. I thought about seeing doc then but figured I was making a big deal out of nothing. Cue yesterday. I was driving and picked up some munchies at the convenience store. Drove through McD's a couple hours later....so I had eaten. Then about an hour later I start getting a headache. I figure it's because I've been sitting driving too long and stop in the next town for a coffee. I mixed in some creamer and sweetner. Drank it, but the further I drove the worse it got. Pulled over in the next town and went in to bathroom but didn't get sick. 10 miles down the road I lost dinner. I began shaking. Remember, I had eaten, drank coffee with creamer, and had munched on a not so healthy candy bar....so wasn't thinking blood sugar. Finally got to the next town and was shaking so hard I could hardly drive or walk. Went in, sure by this time it was blood sugar, bought an orange soda, went to car, drank it, pulled into an empty lot and fell immediately asleep for an hour. Woke up, no headache, no shakes, no cold sweats....like nothing had been wrong. Drove into the next big town (remember I'm driving across NE Montana and these little towns are lucky to have convenience stores let alone motels) and decided to stay the night. I will go see doc as soon as I get home from these meetings. In the mean time I will keep an orange soda in my purse at all times. I promise I am alright. My pants are tighter today....I need to concentrate on GOOD food and not the food that is easy while traveling. Went to chinese tonight. Only ate about 1/4 of the plate. I was pretty excited about that. Lunch was a few pieces of beef jerky because breakfast was a breakfast burrito and a half and orange juice at mcd's and that was pretty high cal. Now I'm going to bed. I'll see you all tomorrow sometime. Honest, don't worry about me. Scary but not going to kill me. It comes on pretty slowly, I just have to learn to listen to my body when it happens. I don't know...is it diabetes when your sugar drops like that but doesn't spike? Doesn't matter. The doc will do what he does. I'll talk to you in the morning ladies. Goodnight.

Hi ladies. Traveling so I'm just peaking in before bed. Remember I'm out of town until Monday so it will be sporadic for me. Had a weird blood sugar incident while traveling. Took care of it, but it was scary while it was happening. . I don't want any of you to worry, and I will explain it later. I will be making an appointment with my PCP for when I get back. This is the 3rd incident in a couple of weeks. Similar to last Sunday (nov. 1) I think I might be dropping to low levels even though I'm eating. Who knows. I'm not a doctor. Gained a couple of pounds since unfill. I guess I should expect it but it was a little disappointing. I will focus on good foods and not on the scale and as long as my new clothes continue to fit I promise not to panic. I just so wanted these last few pounds gone. I was down to 2 to go, now I have almost 5. Oh well....nothing to panic about. I'm going to bed. My episode wiped me out. I will talk to you all tomorrow hopefully. Don't worry about me....I am fine. Honest. I would tell you if I was really worried.....I always do, remember? Night ladies. Oh...I invited a couple of ladies to peak in on the board and hopefully they will say hello. If I'm not around, give them a great 7 welcome and tell them I'll be here soon.

Good morning ladies! I just finished my breakfast. 1/2 cup of kashi! I haven't had kashi in months. I still have to say I love it. You all are going to get tired of telling you all how much I love food. I can't believe I went so long with the problems I had. I didn't realize while going through it, how big the problem had gotten. I'm hoping that the up in cals doesn't kick me into weight gain. Hopefully I was in starvation mode and my last couple pounds will drop off in return. I've got a million things to do on the computer today so I'm not going to stay here. I'll check back in. I'm leaving tomorrow night after I sub all day so I'm hoping to get my packing done today too. I probably shouldn't have said I would sub tomorrow but I'm so excited to get back into school. Okay...running away. Have a great day everyone.

We can be our own worst enemy sometimes, can't we? You are not failing at this. It has only been, what, a little over 3 months? You probably don't even have really good restriction yet. When I go back and look at my posts, from 10 - 40 lbs were the really hard ones. After 40 I started seeing big changes. People started noticing. Every 5 pounds has something new that came with it. I also got more comfortable with the new lifestyle. My attitude adjusted and that made this feel more like what I WANTED to do instead of what I was FORCING myself to do. Summer came and that helped because I could get out more. That is something you won't have to deal with so much because it doesn't get super cold in Texas (?) right? I got more in the groove and felt more like this wasn't a crazy mistake. A friend who had the band done in August was told by her doctor...."ask a bandster the first 3 months if they would do it again and most will admit to thinking this was a mistake. After 6 months you couldn't pry it out with a crowbar for most." You'll be alright. Stay on track. In my support group we talked about lapses and relapses today. A lapse is an "eating error". They happen. Like my NUT said, we have a potential 21 meals a week and 7ish snacks. So you mess up on Thurs. afternoon and go out with the girls for beer and pizza. Don't worry about it. That was less than 5% of your eating budget. So what? Figure out why you did it, how to deal with it next time it happens, and move on. It's only a relapse if you let it take control. Don't wait until Monday. Don't wait until the next morning. Deal with it immediately and get back on track. If you were out waterskiing and fell down. Would you tread water for an hour and then wave the boat back? If you were mountain biking and took a tumble but didn't damage the bike, would you push it back to town? Fix the error. Learn from it. Don't punish yourself. I must be tired. I think I'm preaching. I don't mean to. I just want you to know that we care and that we are pulling for you. When you think you don't have any more to give to the band, that's okay. Use some of our strength. You don't have to do it alone. Let us fight the demons for you. You just have to tell us what they are. We've fought them before and we've been pretty successful. We'll fight, you can breath for a bit and then when you're ready, you won't have anything to beat yourself up for and you can get back into the fight yourself. It's amazing how you feel when you win one of those battles. A high in and of itself. And Twilight was my original "chat" name when I was a chataholic. In college I would spend 5-8 hours a night chatting. I met my husband online actually. I could have 3 open chat programs, each with multiple rooms open, carry on 2 or 3 private conversations, and still pay attention to my toddler. I was a pro!!! Anyways, when I first started I went to a "newbies" room and asked for suggestions on nicknames. Twilight stuck. It's my fallback name whenever I have to come up with a nickname. Okay...now THIS TIME I really am going to bed. Night Donna. I'll be looking for a post from you tomorrow.

I ate!!!! I ate!!! I forgot how wonderful it was to eat!! Okay. I know it was bad but I had to eat SOMETHING on the ride home and because of the horrible roads and traffic, McD's was the option. Because chicken scares me still, I opted for a quarter pounder. Actually, in my eat this not that, it's one of the better choices. But I ate it!!!! No pain. No slime. No horrible feelings!!! Then tonight Jeff and I had fish and a salad! I haven't had salad in months. It was so good. I could have eaten more just out of the shear joy of eating. I had about 5 strawberries dipped in (don't slap me) sugar for dessert. I can't dip them in splenda and they were too sour to eat plain. I stopped when I was full and I am not hungry. I want to eat, but am not hungry. So I have resisted. It's not an overwhelming urge, just a knowledge that I can and it's very exciting. More importantly I'm thirsty. I've been struggling with liquids. I haven't been able to get those in hardly so I've been really dying for liquids. How weird is that? Again....so exciting. I will have to watch that I eat slowly and in the right order. I chewed really well and savored every last bite though. Knowing it wasn't going to cause pain allowed me to really enjoy my meal. I will also have to watch what I have available in the house to eat. I'm going to have to go back to reading labels, measuring my portions, and really being present when I'm eating. I can do this though. On a bright note, there were some awesome sales at the mall. I went to Eddie Bauer and they almost sucked me in to way too much. Got a few work sweaters for when I have to be professional this winter. But I tried on a size 2 for grins.....and it zipped! It wasn't any tighter than my 22's were when I started this process, but didn't look good. I left them there on the hanger.....but they did zip! I'm happy with my 4's and know that without the dimple belly they would have been fine, but just knowing that I COULD was enough for me. AMAZING feeling pulling that zipper up. Okay. I need to get to bed. Its been a very busy day. Who would think one hour difference could cause jet lag, but I believe it has. Night ladies. I hope we hear from Candice, and Ruby, and Kari, and Karri, and Donna, and Denise tomorrow. There are others but my brain just did a reboot. Karri!!!! Check in lady. Did you blow up your chem lab?? How is your marathon training going? Talk to us. Even a 'hi, I'm here, nothing to report" would be better than complete silence. Okay...now truly...off to bed. Night

Scale here didn't like me but I go by the one at home anyways so I will keep my fingers crossed that it's kinder tomorrow morning. I had 5.4 in my band. She pulled everything out and let it suck the fluid back in to where it naturally stopped. Sort of an equilibrium type of thing. We ended up taking 3 cc's out. That made me take pause a little bit. On one hand, I should be able to eat now....on the other, I should be able to eat now!!!! I worry that I haven't learned enough self control to handle the freedom of 2.4 cc's in my band. There was 3 in it at placement. I'm looser now than when I was newly banded. That is a little disconcerting. I'm trying not to invite trouble but I am a little freaking out here. I do know more about food now. I know how to make healthy choices. I know how to eat in the right order. I know what not to even allow into my house. These are all things that will help. I just hope it's enough. She said that if I'm still having problems I will have to have an upper gi and look for a prolapse but that even if there was a slight one, with this much removal it should correct itself. She wasn't worried about it because I wasn't complaining about acid or reflux....she thinks it's just a major irritation. Again, going to try not to worry....but it's hard not to. I have a couple of hours until I have to be at my support group so I'm going to go do some shopping. It's never as much fun alone, so I'll probably not buy as much, but have to kill the time somehow. I will call it Christmas shopping. Have a good day ladies. I will talk to you all tonight.

165 pounds?!?! Holy Cats!!!! I am amazed. I don't even know what to say besides AWESOME job! How wonderful do you feel? Tell us about your experience. I'd love to hear how you've done it. I'm sure you will inspire us.

Wow. Talk about quiet around here today! I hope that means that everyone is out having an amazing time this weekend....and not sitting around binging. Oh wait...that's me. I'm the one that goes quiet when I'm being rotten! I'm in Minot tonight. I got a deflatinator appointment tomorrow but the only time they could get me in was at 9am....8am my time which means I would have had to leave at about 5am had I left tomorrow. So spending the night in a motel instead. I am so looking forward to getting deflated. I need to be able to eat solid food. I'm tired of eating mush because it's the only thing that will stay down. I'm drinking enough hot liquid to float a boat. I'm so tired of pb'ing that I might pb on HER if she gives me any grief. Sitting here drinking decaf now trying to get dinner to go down. I thought I was feeling looser but I was mistaken when I tried to eat a turkey rollup. grrrrrr. Did I mention that my horrible cousin TOM is visiting? What a pain in the patootie! grrrrr. Can I envy those of you who don't have to deal with TOM? cuz he sucks! And he just really shouldn't have any control over my band. It is NONE of his business but he's always messing with it! Oh well. I'm tired and I have an early morning tomorrow with a ton of things to do. Wish me luck. I'm really hoping the scale says 130 tomorrow. I didn't get here how I wanted to, but I'm pretty sure I've arrived. At least with my appointment being early I don't have to eat first! I can wait until after. Night ladies. Don't be so quiet. It's a little spooky around here when no one is talking...... do you hear the echo???? YIKES

Phyl, this is how I do it. I open the picture in the windows photo gallery picture viewer on the computer and then there is an "open" option where I choose microsoft office picture manager. In that program I resize the picture and save it wherever. Then I use the paperclip on the posting window and attach it. At least that's what works for me. Hope that helps.

You will probably sleep better with her around too. I know I always sleep better when I go to my mom's house. It took amazing strength to take those steps. Know that you have that stength even when you doubt it. Tired makes it all worse also. I am hurt easier, I doubt myself more, I cry all the time, I don't think straight....all of that when I'm tired. And I have absolutely NO will power when I'm tired. I'll keep you in my thoughts. Keep in touch. Don't go it alone.