Twilight

Guys, you are always great at saying just what I need to hear. My biggest problem is emotional eating. Or non-emotional eating. It's when I have NO emotions happening that I have struggles. Boredom...nothing to do. Everything is so slippery outside that I can't get out. I'm going to do something today though. I've got to. No tanning beds for me....allergic to the sun. I've thought about getting one of those full spectrum lights but I don't know if it would help. I'm dreaming of spring...but love the snow. That really stinks. Actually, I wonder how we can send men to a space station to live for years, but can't figure out how to build roads that don't ice over. It should be doable. Then it wouldn't matter how cold it is, it wouldn't be slippery. My back feels really good today. My tooth isn't killing me. I think I could actually chew on that side of my mouth. I'm hoping that not having the pain will help my mood. Keep your fingers crossed. As for Jeff. You're right, it isn't a huge deal in the grand scheme of things.....but when he acts the way he has been the last 2 weeks, and gets away with it, then when I get angry he says, "well it didn't bother you last time, you're just being moody now." I told him I would come back to sleeping in our bed when we talked about our issues. He looked at me, shrugged, and went to bed. He asked what we were doing for Valentines day. I asked him if we were going to talk by then and he looked at me and said, "I guess maybe," and then walked off. I have a hard time just shrugging it off when I open myself up and he just shrugs me off. Okay...off to get ready for the day. Have a great day ladies. I'll work on my attitude and mood. Love you all.

No...you have not been left behind by us. I've come to the conclusion that I'm a big old eating fanatic and can't seem to keep myself under control. I know a lot is depression. I just can't seem to keep food out of my mouth. Every bite makes me feel horrible but I don't stop. I'm sabbotaging and I need to stop. I know you all are going to say, "just don't put it in your mouth, you are stronger than that." I'm not. I NEED restriction. I have one more month of this before I can get in. I don't think I can deal. The roads in ND are horrible and I can't get to Bismarck (5 hours on a good day, at least 8 these days) to get in any earlier. I'm dreaming about food, I'm thinking about food. I'm eating when I'm not hungry just because I can. I NEED RESTRICTION!!! I'm going back to the dentist today and hopefully he will take out this temporary filling and get it fixed for real. Then I'm going back to the chiropractor for another round of accupuncture. I don't think he can do anything for the food to mouth compulsion but hopefully he'll help my back. I've got the blahs and can't seem to shake them. All I want to do is sleep and eat. This is normally the time of year when I start thinking about a new career. Now I'm not sure what I want to do. I'm dreaming about frustration...I can't even escape there. Okay...gotta run and brush my teeth and put my face on so I can get to the dentist. Have a good day ladies.

good morning ladies. Nothing to report. Or rather, nothing good to report. Jeff and I aren't really speaking to each other and I eat when that happens. I have too much crap in the house to just stuff. It really sucks. Mom didn't come over this morning to walk. She wasn't feeling all that great yesterday she said. I think she's depressed in some ways. Everything she says is a complaint. Too cold, too windy, too everything. I wish I could get her to see the positive. Oh....smashbox specials on qvc today. Going to try to control myself. Trying not to be a shopaholic. I read my book. It was nice to read again. I think I will go see if the library has the rest of the series. The problem with me reading is it becomes an obsession and I don't put my books down. I really enjoy reading though, so I think I'll live with it. Okay...gotta run and get stuff accomplished. House is a mess and I still haven't taken a shower. I'll check back in later. Have a good day ladies.

Hi ladies. Hope you all had a great Saturday. I woke up at 3 with my mouth hurting again. Didn't want to take another pill so just let it go. Vegged on the couch for awhile. Then we went to the basketball tourney that son was playing in. He played really well but Jeff pi$$ed me off so badly it was bittersweet. He's driving me crazy. I think we're on the verge of a serious blowout because everything he does makes me crazy these days. Its been about a year since our last real big fight so I guess it's time. Janet, oxy is this horrible terrible stuff that makes me all kinds of goofy. I hate how it makes me feel. If I'm willing to put it in my body, you know the pain had to be horrible. I don't know how anyone could become hooked on the stuff. It makes me nutzo! I picked up my scrip for antibiotics this morning. I have to take them for 10 days. I hate them because they always cause a complete riot in my hoohaaa. Which means more meds for that because the over the counter stuff doesn't do anything for it. So we will see. Maybe I'll get lucky and no fire this time. Keep your fingers crossed. I think we're going to watch a movie as soon as the kids go to bed. They are going very early because neither took a nap. Hope you all have a great night.

Hi ladies. My tooth is killing me. I'm going to make this short. I went to the ballgames and talked to my girls. God, I miss them. They hate my replacement and asked if I would come back. Told them if they hate him so much then they need to talk to their parents and parents need to go to the board. I would come back if they wanted me to. ... but I hear that the super loves him, so I don't see that happening. I hate that he is ruining my program. I came home from the game with sore mouth. Took an oxy and a toredol. I'm starting to get a little loopy. Going to have a bowl of oatmeal and hope the heat helps. I have other things to say....I can't remember what. I'll talk to you tomorrow.

Great to hear Donna. You are right, our bands are crazy at times. Once we think we have it figured out, they change on us. Just like husbands. My tooth still hurts but it's a livable hurt I think. I don't want to go back to the dentist today. I'm going to fill the scrip for antibiotics and see if that helps. The younger dentist thought there was a root infection....the older one thought what he did would fix it and I didn't need them. I'll give the antibiotics a few days and if it isn't better on Monday I'll go back. The older dentist did tell me I could call him this weekend at home if it got worse and he'd come in and help me out. I sub this afternoon and then get to go watch my kids from last year play basketball here in town. I can't wait to see them. I miss them so much. I'm so excited. I'll talk to you all later. Have a great day.

Hi ladies. Hope you are having a good day. Karri, I'll keep you in my thoughts. I can't imagine giving my classroom over to a student teacher. I'm awfully protective of my students. You would be doing him a favor to tell the honest truth in your evaluations. I wouldn't pass him if he is truly not ready. Bad teachers just give the profession a bad name. Be honest with him. Give him your best advice. You are the master teacher and he is there to learn from you. I remember how crazy I got when I gave up the reigns of my class in May. I wouldn't have survived if I had to watch him for 15 weeks. It would have killed me. Donna, glad to hear you got some of your fill removed. Taking some out might be just what you needed. You'll be able to get in solid proteins to give yourself the energy you need to keep yourself active. As for tracking your food, I'd suggest an online program. I like dailyplate but I've heard good things about sparkspeople. It works for me. I can keep track and really see the impact of those bad choices. I make better decisions when I'm accountable...even if it's just to my computer. Give it a try. Janet, how did you mammo go? I don't remember you saying but maybe I missed it. I was thinking of you and the scares you've had the last couple of times, so let us know....again if you already did. I just got back from the dentist. If it's not one thing its another. Last night started a hell of a toothache. Actually my whole jaw hurt. I used an entire tube of orajel on it between 8pm and 8am just trying to keep it numb. So I went in and the new dentist said he thought I needed a root canal. The old dentist came in to start it and really didn't think that I needed one but.... Anyways, he said he would get in and clean out the old filling and the new decay for the other guy. He started drilling and the back half of my tooth just crumbled. He said I must have had a hairline fracture and it's just finally gotten to the nerve. So he filled it instead of a root canal. Novicane is wearing off so we will see how badly it hurts then. For now I'm going to go read a bit. Talk to you later ladies.

Hi ladies. Hope you all had a great day. Mine was pretty good. Decent food choices for a change. Plenty of water. Good exercise. All in all I wish every day was as good. Woke up this morning and Rose came over and we did the 2 mile "walk away the pounds" together. I was a little leary but my back felt really good for a change. Then this afternoon I sat down and read 3 chapters in my new book. It is a good one. I'm kinda excited to be reading again. Then tonight, after my tutoree and dinner, I went down and did my 30 day shred video. I loved it. Now my back is a little tired but feels pretty good. Watching a CSI now and then to bed. Have a good day tomorrow. I'll be checking in.

Hi ladies. Hope you all had a good day. Donna, it seems to be a recurring thing with some band patients. Some people tighten in the morning, others in the day, others at night. It isn't unheard of. I wouldn't worry too much until the doc checks it. But please let us know what you find out. Oh...and if you were taking an acid reducer right after your banding, I was given one with an entire year's refills, you might want to try taking one of those about an hour after dinner and see if that helps. Janet, I bought a supersize smashbox photo finish primer. On auto delivery so that every 6 months I can get the 4 month easy pay. Phyl, I don't get the pain that I did right after banding, but if I get semi-stuck or eat really fast I do get shoulder pain. I went to the chiropractor today. He tried acupuncture today. I hope it helps. I may need to go back the end of this week or beginning of next. I bought a book. I haven't read in years an swear I'm going to get a book read this week. I LOVE to read, just don't seem to get a chance. I'm going to get it done. I also bought the 40 day love challenge. If any of you saw the movie Fireproof....it was amazing and probably the most inspiring movie I've seen in years....it's part of that. Another book I'm going to read but it's more than that. Anyways...a long day. I'm going to go to bed. Have a good night everyone.

Hi ladies. We will see what the chiropractor tells me tomorrow. Dr. doesn't take my aches and pains very seriously. I walked another 2 miles tonight. I only bought one thing from QVC. Besides the fact that I needed it, the easy pay made it doable. I know it was a gimmick but it worked. For me they only hooked me once. Okay. Off to bed. I have a long day tomorrow.

Hi ladies. Been busy today. Did get a mile in this morning. Going to do another walk tonight. spent most of the day on the computer. Did anyone see that EVERYTHING on QVC today is on 4 payments. It doesn't matter if it is 300 bucks or 15. It's great. I have only bought one thing but that's because I'm staying off of watching it because I could go overboard. I'm getting excited about our trip. Trying to stay a little down to earth, but it's hard. Kari, it's really hard to stay motivated in the cold. We had a month of negative temps her. Now all we have is ice. I brought out my videos. I'm not going to let it get me. We can work out when it's cold. No excuses. I'm going to the chiropractor for my back and shoulder tomorrow. Hopefully he'll be able to do something for me. I'm afraid he may have me go to the doc about my shoulder though. I guess we'll see. I'm not going to ask for trouble, but it wouldn't surprise me. I'll be in and out all night. Have a good one ladies.

Hi ladies. Checking out the internet while watching the super bowl. NOt a huge football fan but it's a tradition. Family put some money on it. maybe I'l be able to put some money in my 7's fund. I put money away earlier this year,but then things kept coming up and I kept stealing out of it. I looked at airfares and they are going to be about 800. I thought it would be cheaper flying out of Regina Sk but it's not. I'm not sure if it's going to be better to wait for a month or so or if it will be worse. Phyl, I'd love to hear this letter. I'll see if I can google it. Okay...going to run. I'll be checking in and out.

Hi ladies. just thought I would let you know that I got 3 miles in and 30 mins of pilates. the pilates told me that I'm not nearly flexible enough. Going to play cards with DH. I'll check in tonight or tomorrow. Have a great Saturday.

Hi ladies. Just a quick pop in before I go down and do some walking. I've been horrible lazy today so I'm going to go do some walking. Also got a pilates video for my total gym and watched about 1/2 hour of it and it looked like it would work wonders on my back so I'm going to try that after I walk. Watching this makes really wonder how you can lose anything doing pilates, but maybe further into the video it would be different. Looks more like strength stuff and making my core stronger....which can't help but make my back feel better. Janet, all teachers complain about the "teaching to the test" mentality, even if they are the ones doing it. We can't help it, it's our jobs on the line. In MT. our standards, which the test is supposed to make sure the kids know, are so vague that there is no real guidance. Anything from any textbook can be put into one of the standards somewhere. It's like trying to fit sand in a garbage can, no problem. So now we are trying to really look at what we want EVERY student in the state to KNOW by the time they graduate from high school. The big push is that sense making thing. It's been a huge discussion for all of us. Our new standards hope to address that. In my opinion, and it's not the most popular, high school math isn't about learning math as much as it is about learning how to think. How to attack something you feel very unprepared for, but using the tools you have been given to push through. To push through a problem that may take a LOT of work, but not giving up because it's too much work. To justify your thinking because you do know what you are doing. Not many kids are going to spend their adult life solving equations...but they are all going to be faced with difficult problems that they must reason through, fight through, use tools to solve, and be able to justify what they are doing. That's the beauty of math to me. It gives you those tools. Most, not all, but most everyday math is taught by the time kids get through middle school. High school is teaching kids how to think, reason, and fight. Okay...that was a tangent. I'd better go work out. Talk to you later ladies!

Very cool about the psychic. Vegas in July sounds hot to me. Elvis festival sounds fun and I've never been to Ontario. Rose and I were discussing this yesterday. We still want to come up there. I'm thinking Thanksgiving in Vegas sounds good. Just my thoughts. I emailed a professor that is on the standards team with my thoughts. He says they are sound and that they are not too harsh. He will look at my comments closer this weekend and get back to me. I will continue on my tearing them apart and send him my other thoughts. I guess I needed someone to validate me. Why am I so insecure? Once someone told me that I wasn't out to lunch my anxiety went away. I think I'm going crazy. Okay...I'm sure I'm crazy. Okay...going to do something. Go park my cars or something. Talk to you all later ladies. Have a great weekend.

Wondering how Katie is doing. Update us dear. We want to hear that you are doing well. You are in our thoughts.

Hi ladies. Well the rest of my night didn't get any better. I tossed and turned in bed until almost 1. decided to get up and take something to help me sleep. Went out on the couch and looked at my standards some more. Tried to formalize my thoughts. Wrote an email to my "boss" about it. Then tried to lay down to sleep again. Tossed for another hour. Tried turning on qvc to try to relax me. Nothing. It was after 4 the last time I looked at the clock. Jai came and woke me up at 6:30. Tried to doze a bit but can't seem to shut down. Exhausted, but now I think I'm over tired. did I tell you all that my juniors from last year asked me to be their graduation speaker this spring? Well, that was almost a month ago, but last night that was the next thing that was keeping me awake. Graduation isn't until the middle of May. I don't think it's time for me to be staying up night worrying about this. But I got my ideas all in line. I should have gotten up and typed it up but figured that would make me more awake. frustrating. Then all day today my standards group has been posting comments in the wrong places on my bulletin board. I've told them many times the way I'd like it formatted and where to post certain comments. I understand that they just aren't internet literate...but frustrating to spend my time all day moving posts to the right places and deleting the others....and then I know their mailboxes are flooding with all the notifications and then I feel guilty about doing that to them. grrrrr. Okay...tired doesn't look very good on me. I'd better stick with sudoku. Low scores but at least no one else gets frustrated...just me.

Hi ladies. Busy day. Spent a lot of time with mom. I'm going to talk her into letting me take a picture yet. We also got our new standards document that we are sharing with the world today. It's the first time I've had a chance to really sit down and study it....or first time I've taken the time to really sit down and study it. I'm not crazy about it. There are way too many holes in it. I'm thinking it's missing some huge ideas. Now I just have to figure out how to say those things to the group so that the ideas come through and not me trashing it. Don't get me wrong, it's good....but in my mind, not great. I want it to be great. I'm sitting here watching modern marvels on the history channel. It's about 90's technology. How the world works now just amazes me. I'm overwhelmed and when I look at our standards I don't see them pushing all our kids to understand this stuff....and math is the gateway (in my opinion) to understanding technology. Again, I'm biased, but I do think that. The standards don't get the kids on the same street, let alone through the gate. Okay...I'm frustrated. It is showing. Time for bed. Hope you had a great day Janet. I can't wait to see the comparison pics. Night.

Happy birthday Janet!!! Facebook didn't share your birthday with me. Don't know why. Have a wonderful time today and celebrate all you have accomplished in the last 4 years. It's amazing! Hugs and kisses. Love you!

It is amazing isn't it? I just told Jackie that if I still had all that fat around I probably wouldn't be near as sore...everything would have been padded. I will stay away from the Aleve. Not my pain reliever of choice. Usually stick with tylenol. Just wondering what to do in a pinch, like if whoever I asked didn't have any but had advil. Usually have my own, but obviously I've used it and my ds has been using it too for basketball aches and pains. You're going to feel better and better Donna. You'll be really amazed what 30, 40, and 50 pounds change. Your face will even begin to glow!

Janet, I'm not sure about the advil or aleve. My PA said as long as it was only occasionally it was alright but that if it became more than one occasion every couple of weeks we needed to find something else. What did everyone else's docs say? Mine said that as maintenance it can make the lining of the stomach too thin and cause the band to have issues. I tried to make an appointment to have an adjustment in Feb but no appointments. I have to wait until March. I sure hope it warms up so I can get out and move more soon. Exercise is one thing but just getting out and being more active is needed too. It's still -5 here. Okay...off to do something...not sure what...but something.

Good morning ladies. It's 8am but it sure feels early. I just don't get it. I'm sorer today than I was yesterday. How does that work? Yesterday was my back and my legs. Today added my ribs, shoulders, and arms. Everything hurts. I need to get some pain something besides my toredol. I am out of tylenol, aleve, and advil. I had no idea until I tried to go to bed last night. Made for a very long night. I'll talk to you later ladies. Have a good day. BTW, nice pics Janet and Candice. It does really look like you guys had fun. So jealous. Talk to you later ladies.

night ladies. just wanted to check in. I'm so sore. every time I sit for more than 10 minutes I want to cry when I get up. Jeff said I moaned and groaned in my sleep all night last night. had a decent day. all my liquid in. good food choices. No exercise though. Would have proably done me good but couldn't bring myself to do it. Tomorrow will be another busy day. Mom is kicking my butt to get my house cleaned. Okay, gotta run. It's late.

Katie, I'll be keeping you in my prayers. Super good luck and painless days ahead. You are truly an inspiration to us all.

Welcome back wayward gals! Glad you both had a great time. Sounds like a Vegas trip might have to be on tap for the 7's this year....but not to replace the Candice trip. I am really looking forward to that one. Maybe for Thanksgiving or something. Easter is too soon....hmmm...we'll have to keep thinking. Welcome home!