Twilight

Morning ladies. Ugly day here today. I need to walk tonight but it may be snowing :biggrin: Just sitting around here today not doing much. Need to get my butt in gear and get some stuff done for next week. Thanks for the encouragement with Michael. Did I ever tell you he's a food sneaker? Well, sometimes it really upsets me because I know that compulsion comes from feeling like you aren't getting fed enough or not having any control. Well...he gets plenty of food and has plenty of control...anyways, he asked last night if I would go to the store and buy him some chips with his money. so I did..and then after he went to bed, Jeff proceeded to eat the rest. OMG!!! Michael was UPSET this morning. I just looked at him and smiled and then asked him how it felt. He started saying, "I don't do that. I've never done that. I can't believe you did that." And I just sat there with one eyebrow raised. He pedaled on that for a few more sentences and then just walked off. LOL. Not that i wanted Jeff to eat all those chips, but the response priceless. I'm really tight this morning. I've gotten about 4 spoonfuls of my kashi and yogurt in and I'm about to put it away. Hungry, and truly hungry, but too tight. Damn the stress! Karri challenged me to the most miles walked this next month. She's going to kill me. I thought my walking buddy here was bad, but I'm WAY too competitive for this. And she gets a 25mi bonus because of her marathon! But I took it. It'll be good for me. Wish me luck. I'm going to go get in the shower, have some coffee, see if I can open up a bit so I can eat. Talk to you all later.

Hi ladies. Hope you all are having good night. I'm not. I did get 5 miles in tonight though, so I'm going to call that a win...probably my only one for the day. Well....the kids are still alive and Michael isn't bleeding. I really don't know what has gotten into kids these days. I know it's not just mine. But....what makes them think they can talk to adults the way they do? I'll tell you, I would have lost teeth. I could type the crazy crap he said, but without the tone of voice, the effect would be lost. Suffice it to say, he asked why I went to the school, because he "told" me I could go for reason x only. What??? If he only knew what I had planned for next week. He's going to crap! I made a good dinner tonight, but not overly healthy. Ate about a cup and then one piece of fresh pineapple. I think I'm going to have some kind of kashi snack tonight. Karri, please be careful with the fill. I really worry about you. They never seem to do well for you. I'll keep my fingers crossed. There was something else I was going to tell you all but who knows. I'll be over on FB if anyone wants to chat.

Back from school. It seems I hurt all the teachers' feeling when I vented on facebook! I hurt THEM!?! grrrr Okay...so Michael is of course playing both sides. telling me he's getting his work done and telling them he did it at home. Telling them he can't stay after school because he has to come home to babysit. telling them that I can't be bothered at home because I'm busy doing whatever. grrrr. Of course, they know he's a master manipulator and never called me to ask about that. Yeah...take HIS word for it no matter how much you know he manipulates. ggggggrrrrrrr. So I'm meeting with the teachers tomorrow after school to try to find a solution. They don't think sp.ed. is for him because what services would they provide that could help him? The sp.ed kids are able to do this 3 strikes thing, so why can't Michael....ummmm...because they have SUPPORT to do it??? I don't know. I'm angry at them. I'm angry at him. I'm going to be away next week. I have nothing really to do besides a doc appt. Mon. morning and then Board of Ed Friday...so I'm going to ask to have all his work for the week. Going to pull him out and he will "homeschool" for the week. I can teach all of that...and then some. He will see that I mean business and maybe THEY will see that he is capable of more than they are expecting. Lord, give me strength! Now I'm going to go nap. This is just toooooo stressful!

Morning ladies. Trying to keep my mind off my upcoming appointment. I get so nervous. I know I'm going to do a horrible job advocating for my son. I have such conflicting emotions when it comes to him. There's the mom side, that wants my son to be taken care of, hugged, loved, happy, not picked on...and then there is the educator side that says he needs to accept responsibility, grow up, not make excuses, pushed....oh Lord, give me strength. Karla,this is going to be long, but here are some of my ideas. Some of my best meals are just meat. Costco has some AWESOME chicken sausages, I think they are Emeril, but not sure. They are lower fat, and sooooo good. I can eat one, cut small, chewed well, dipped in some honey mustard. And usually I'm full after that. They are precooked so if I don't want to or can't turn on the grill, they can be heated in the micro. Pork tenderloin is another great one. Sear it, put it in a pan with some great spices, onions, mushrooms...bake. Again, a couple of slices completely fills me up. Grilling season is upon us, and that means I'm going to LOVE my meat again. As for salad, I love my dressing too, but if I eat my meat first, and then dish my salad, I still put all the good stuff on it, I just don't have room for very much. My salads have lettuce, broc, cauli, mush, carrots, radishes, sunflower seeds, LF cheese, and then something crunchy for "crouts". Usually I can get in about 4 forkfuls...and even covered in dressing, that's not a lot of calories. Oh...cottage cheese, a definite staple. I can't do the lowfat stuff though, 2% is as low as I can take it. My evening snack, when I'm being good, is a cup full of Kashi Crunch. I can eat it dry like a bowl of nuts, but it has super protein...and great crunch. It gives me hand to mouth and a similar feeling to eating chips or something. Always measure it out though and put it in a bowl...otherwise I could eat half a box without realizing it. Wraps are another favorite of mine. I put down some kind of "dressing" a layer of meat, LF cheese, and then my salad mix. Makes a really good filling meal. One wrap usually lasts me two meals. I don't eat the curled in ends though, too much tortilla. For that chocolate fix that Candice was talking about, at the site where I get my proticcino, they have some pretty good protein cocoa. I LOVE the amaretto and the mint choc. It gives me choc. AND 15g protein (if I remember correctly) for only 100 cals. The other thing I do to help me is when I set the table, I put out EVERYTHING. Pickles, cottage cheese, fresh fruit, fresh veggies, anything good for me that is in the fridge. Then when I'm done with my protein whatever and my veggies, if I still think (and the operative word IS think) I'm still hungry, all that good stuff is sittting there. The other positive, is that my family eats more of that good stuff. Candice, no wii fit until doc says it's okay. I'm ONLY cleared to walk. I thought I would try the step aerobics but just that little step could hurt something Jeff says. I LOVE the boxing and the step aerobics. I can't do the yoga but when I get clearance I'm going to try again. Some of the ways they bend and such I can't do with my back, but know I need to. So for now, it's just my scale. I'll let you know when I'm cleared though and I'll challenge you. hmmm....there was something else I was going to say. .... hmmmm...Oh. my post from last night is lost out there in cyber space somewhere.... I walked 5.5 miles last night. 5 of it in the rain!! I am so proud of me. Of course my walking buddy is the only reason I did it. She said "Rain never killed anyone, we'll be fine." And so off we went. at 1/2 mile the rain started. We walked past my house, I could have stopped, but continued another loop! My shoes and socks were squishy, I was soaked, it was only about 45...but I walked it. So that was a major NSV for me. I know there is something else but I'm not finding it in my brain. I'd better stop now. Have a good day ladies. I'll update you on the SPED meeting. Keep sending me positive thoughts. I'll need them!

OMW!!! I have so much to say and really should be cooking dinner...so I'm going to try to be quick! Car! Your story is amazing. I KNOW it will get better if I can just get him over puberty! This is not the town for him. The area is so unforgiving of kids who are different. Well....the sp.ed. teacher called and we have a meeting tomorrow at the school @1030. I will keep my fingers crossed that all goes well. I need to print off all the emails between the teachers and I this year....yes I save them. Janet, my vitamins are poor, right now I'm taking 2 different pills for thyroid, 2 humungo pills for anti-inflammatory, 2 pills for coating my stomach so that the anti-inflammatory doesn't do any damage, 1 pill for anti-depression, 3 pills for gly-cond., and 2 pills for nerve stuff....I've taken all the pills I can and I cannot get a vitamin down. I can't hardly take what I've gotta take. So until the back meds go away I'm not taking calcium or vitamins. Not the best choice, but I can't gag any more down. I go back to the back doc on Monday so I'm really hoping that I'll be able to get off 6 pills. Candice, that woman needed slapped, but I sure am glad you stood your ground. I would have politely taken it and slinked away...ashamed for making a scene. Kudos for standing up for yourself. Phyl, I've forgotten to mention how much I've loved watching your trip on facebook. It really has been lovely to travel along with you! Okay...I've gotta figure something out for dinner. Hugs! I'll be back later

Car!!!!! I've missed you!!!! Glad to see you pop in. Look at YOU, below goal! How awesome is THAT!!!!!! I'll quit complaining bout the winter weather here after hearing about yours...ishs!!!! Don't be a stranger.

Do you go anywhere near Karri, Phyl? She is definitely in need of a cheering up. I wish I was able to help. I agree, it's awfully quiet out here today.

Just me, or is the page looking oddly today? I managed to get kitchen cleaned and house swept so far. Next going downstairs and going to tackle that. Kids are going down with me and hopefully we all climb out of it alive. Okay...gonna go. Wish me luck

Hi ladies. Just a quick nightly check in. Jeff is snoring next to me. Irritating me because he was gone ALL day. Okay...not going there. My food choices were much better today. Good breakfast, decent lunch, awesome dinner, and a sf fudge bar from schwans. I made a great dinner if I say so myself. mmmmm I was going to go walking tonight but then Jeff HAD to go back to work for 3 hours...so too bad, Steph has to be put on hold. It rained when I was able to do it earlier. grrr. It was like the world was stacked against me today. Something good.....dinner. Turkey breast tenderloin roast with mushrooms and onions, a little bit of corn bread stuffing, fresh pineapple, corn, and I have left over turkey for wraps all week. It was sooooo awesome. Even if I do say so myself. Okay...going to go play pathwords by myself...because I suck anymore....And I don't want to go to bed...because Jeff snores. See you in the morning.

Much better food choices today...though I slept off my headache for quite awhile. Lost that freaking crown again! I'm a little worried that the permanent won't stay now. I don't know if he tried to force it in too tight so it wouldn't seat or what. But last time I was eating a salad. This time a piece of cheese. Nothing sticky, that's for sure. I need to get my motivation on. I have absolutely none. Haven't for about a week. Or longer. My house is a wreck. I haven't cooked a real dinner in I don't know how long. It is crazy. Okay...I'd better run. Nothing to report because I have done nothing. Hope your Sundays are going better.

Morning ladies. Just a quick check in before church. We went out last night and I had one too many drinks, and a few too many snacks, and WAY too many breaths of smoke....Canadian friends smoked ALOT. Hangover sucks. I'll go repent. I'll check in later, but wanted to let you all to know I was alive and well. Better food choices today....or ELSE!!!! (that was for MY benefit, not yours.

wooohoooo!!! good job. And look at that, you're a 1/3 of the way there! Very proud of you. Not a lot of time to talk right now, but wanted to say good job today. I'll have to check out sierra trading post. Heard from Rose. She's on South Padre island. It sounds like I want to be there. Calgon take me away!!!! Okay...off to shower because I am FREEZING!!!

Good afternoon ladies. Just a little update. This morning a woman from the school called. Seems she IS the sp.ed. teacher that was hired 5 months ago. She is a new teacher (I found out from another source) but she had no idea this was going on. She said a teacher had come to her yesterday (I'm assuming the one that called me), and then asked me what was going on. When I told her that I had given the school his EXTENSIVE testing report (that cost $1000 to have done) and what the child psych's recommendations were, she was horrified that she hadn't been given the file. I explained that although I don't want to make excuses for his behavior, we also have to be realistic in our expectations. That the expectation of him getting all his homework in, on time, complete, in EVERY class for a month was unrealistic. That if he went a WEEK doing that, I'd be over the moon. I then said he also can't have any behavior problems...which in the classroom is fine, but lunchroom and playground is a different story. I told her the recommendation that he be put on an IEP and given counseling and she had no idea of the issues. She said we may not be able to get anything legal into place in the next month but that she would read the file, talk to me on Monday, and we would see what we could do from there. My biggest fear is that Michael will take advantage of this situation, like he does any other, and stop doing ANY work. Given an inch he will take 100 miles. He so wants to go to another school. There are no possiblities of that without sending him to live with someone else. I have seriously thought about asking my brother if he would take him next school year. Then again, I don't think that would be good for him psychologically either. I'm just at a loss right now. There is a program he can go into when he is 16 but that's a year and a half away. So for now, there may be some progress. My blood pressure is down, I'll give this woman a chance. Not going to put the cart before the horse. Keep Michael in your prayers. Thanks for all your support. I know my issues are so much less than those of you with ailing and failing parents and amazingly complicated work lives. Compared to the illness and loss of my father, this is nothing, so thank you for your love and support in light of your own troubles. You're all THE BEST!!!

Ladies...what can I say. You are always my rock! the school has no true sp.ed. program because they let the qualified teacher out on early retirement and there is no one who applied for the job. So now, there are teachers aides trying to do the work and while they do a fine job of working with some kids, they are not qualified to put a student into sp.ed. That was what I was told when I took in my reports from the child psych. My PCP here didn't agree with the child psych's opinion of putting him on anti depressant meds so I had to find someone else to do that prescribing. There are no child counselors within 150 miles of us that would take him on as a patient so he has no one to talk to. I asked that the school counselor see him at least once a week and she told me she would talk to him but her job was mainly vocational counseling and she wasn't really qualified for what Michael needed. I asked for them to find a male role model in the school for him to bond with. That wasn't done. So....here I sit. Nothing to be done. Too upset to speak to anyone about it. I am going to come completely clean.....I ate an entire sleeve of GS Mint Cookies, dipped in Peanut Butter. I knew they wouldn't help but they made me feel better in the moment and at THAT moment I needed it. I'm not apologizing, but I am confessing. I will do my penance. I took the dogs for a 2mile walk....I need to go for another. TOM showed up today too. F@$# the little b'tard. Okay...that was a little harsh, but I did NOT need THAT today too. Jeff's home. I NEEDED that. He let me cry on his shoulder. I just can't cope without him. Okay....going to go have dinner with the kids. Later taters.

Karri, I know 10 years ago, Fort Worth told me they don't interview math or science teachers...they just sign them....they were that short. I don't know if it is still the same, but I would guess so. And they paid darned well.

Hi ladies...I'm coming here to vent because I need to say something!!!! No, you have done nothing! I got a phone call from one of Michael's teachers today...and I'm SOOOO mad! And hurt. And wish I could fix everything but know I can't. Michael is my ADHD darling. He struggles with depression, and one doc called him bipolar. You remember the hell we went through this time last year? He's one of the major reasons I'm not working this year. So that I could be there for him more. Well....he hates school. He begs me to send him to a different one. He has very few friends. His teachers are overly harsh on him. He hates homework. You know...he's just a pubescent boy of 14. Every year the class goes on a field trip. Every year he isn't allowed to go because he gets "3 strikes." Well, strikes can be given for anything. Homework not being done, goofing off in class, having a problem on the playground, just about anything. Well, they started the strikes a week ago. One of his teachers called today to tell me that he got a strike because he didn't do his homework. Umm...duh....that's a given!! I just feel like there is no way for him to win in this situation. There is no way that he is not going to get in a fight with his peers for a month! A month doing his homework for all 6 classes...every day! He hasn't been able to do that for the last 7 months. Why would he change now? He's not been able to do it for the last 3 years, why would he be able to do it now? Why do they set him up for failure and then call me when he fails? What the hell do they expect? I would understand giving him strikes for things that he normally doesn't do. But something that he is known for. Something that he is compelled to do. What part of this do they not get? He's a smart kid. He maxes out on the state exams every year....they don't have a score higher than the one he gets! Yet he is not eligible for academic teams because of this homework thing. He isn't able to do ANYTHING extra because of his inability to pay attention in class. He isn't allowed to stay after school with his peers because of his hyperactive behavior. DUH!!!! WTF!!!! Did they not get that memo from the dr that said he CAN"T HELP IT???? Oh wait, I know they did because I hand delivered it! WTF do they expect??? Okay....ranting just made me madder. I thought it would help. Let me just say that I hate it when adults are mean, ugly, uncaring to children!! Any children, not just mine!

Good morning ladies. Just a quick check in. Nothing really new to report.... Except, I had this bag of dum dums from Halloween. I kept it on my dresser for treats for Jaimison every now and then. I don't like them so they NEVER bothered me. Anyways...my lovely Chi must have all of a sudden smelled them. He was so quiet yesterday, I should have imagined something was up. Went in to go to bed last night and here are all these sticks....he ate them ALL. He spit out the wrapper and the sticks, but ate all the candy. LOL. What a goof. I checked on him last night after I found it and he's still alive. I'm sure he'll have the poops. I don't even want to KNOW what color it's going to be. Anyways...there are little candy crumbles all over my carpet so I have to spend the day working on that. grrrr Wii weigh in is the same as it was on Tuesday. So for the week I was down 1.4. I'll take that. Okay....off to see what crazy trouble we can get in today. Hugs.

No walking today. Hip still hurts. Tomorrow I will walk. Calories today 1055, protein 55g I didn't do great on liquids today....probably only about 32 oz. Placed my 3day flamingos in their first yard last night and got them placed in their second yard tonight. I think this is going to be a great fundraiser. At least I hope so. We'll see. Have a good night ladies!

ROFL!!! I JUST sent you an email reminding you that tomorrow is the last day to get the discount! Great minds must think alike!! We will discuss the raffle when it comes time. There is nothing we need to do anytime soon. But seeing pictures of the progress, it's gorgeous! So excited. Okay...off to go get lunch. Later ladies!

Phyl!!!! how amazing is your post. There is so much to celebrate in that. #1, the quilt is amazing. I can hardly believe how wonderful it is. I have two ideas for the raffle. One, to give it to Karri and let her take it from there...but she hasn't said anything about loving that idea. Other idea is to do the raffle here. Having it displayed here in town at one of the stores and selling chances, as well as having a booth here at the county fair (with this quilt as prize #1, an afgan I'm having made prize #2, and coming up with something else for prize #3), and giving the money to Karri's account. Is she going to quilt those blocks next to each other or is she planning on putting "blank" blocks in between them? I just love the blocks she has done. Wow! #2, even more amazing is the LARGE top! You didn't share that wonderful bit of news in the manner it should have been shared. You should be shouting it from the roof tops!!! WOOOOHOOOOO! So excited for you. You will be shopping in the regular size section all the time soon!

:smile:Taunting the cripple is just SICK AND WRONG!!! :thumbup: I won't be doing anything too difficult. I promise. I'm going to lay down and snuggle with my darlings first...then put dishes in the washer....a few more snuggles with the puppies...then maybe a load or two of laundry. I won't put any away, just fold it and let Michael put them away. Then more snuggles and then more fun.... Okay...off to snuggle.

good morning ladies. I hope you are having a great Thursday. My left hamstring is still very very tight today. I'm not sure how I'm going to stretch it out. That is the biggest problem I have. Dr. told me that it would be a problem. I need to get a LOT of housework done today. I have dishes piled. I have laundry piled. I need a maid! Okay, have a great day ladies. I'll talk to you all later.

You know me way too well!! ROFL. I am honestly pushing myself hard, but I never feel like I've done more than I'm able. It's the next day that kicks my butt. I only did 3 miles tonight and I think I will be feeling much better tomorrow. If not, I won't walk. Charelle won't be able to walk with me until Monday so I'm being left to my own devices. You're right, the time is lost, the weight is back. I just kick myself for letting it happen. But I have to do this safely. Consider me properly chastised and I'll try to be better! Hugs!!!

Hi ladies. Well, as figured, it wasn't the best day. I just seemed to be grazing all day. Jeff had a crisis as lunch but had eaten somewhere else and then the kids had sandwiches...and I just put me on hold....so then when they were sleeping it turned into a little of this a little of that. Peanuts, raisins, cheese sticks, a banana. I was tired...I hurt...I'm upset with Jeff...it all turned me into a chewing machine. I had a headache before I headed out to walk...made it 3 miles and called it good. Went to the store and bought an imitation crab salad. Just ate about 1/2 of it. I think that will help keep the munchies at bay tonight. I need to go curl up with my kids and watch something good on tv. I hurt to bad to do anything else. When Michael gets home from confirmation I'm going to crawl in the tub and see if that helps. I voted on the poll. Will check in later ladies. have a good night.

Those are my choices but really would do anything. However, I cannot commit until after taxes are done. I'm going to be doing a lot of traveling this summer and with the surgery Jeff might just kybosh this one. And then he might decide it's alright. I want to say definitely going, but can't right now. Sorry.